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Blind Dates Are For IdiotsBLIND DATES ARE GAY! That's right. Blind dates are the dumbest things ever invented. Some people say that the first date is always a blind date but that hasn't been my experience. I have known the girl for a couple of days and I have spoken with her on the phone a couple of times before a date. The idea of a blind date sucks though. Two random people going out just because their friends think they would get along. It doesn't work out that way though. It always ends up with the goodnight kiss, and the "maybe we can do this another time" talk. The best is when you are able to pull of the one night stand on a blind date. Just because that girl goes back to her girlfriend that hooked her up with your ass and tells her how much of a dickhead you are. That cracks me up. Given it hasn't happened to me personally but I have witnessed it happen before. I just went on a blind date last weekend with this girl named Liz. She was fucking stupid. Absolutely no personality and she had the furthest thing from a sense of humor. I would crack some fantastic jokes and I would have the rest of the people cracking up but she wouldn't even crack a fucking smile. I don't get it. The shittiest part of these infamous blind dates, is that the guy has to pay for that bitch. I think guys should come out with a reverse blind date. The girl pays for everything and she has to make all of the moves and all that shit. FUCK BLIND DATES. They're stupid, and friends don't let friends go on shitty dates. Write that down and remember that shit because it will come in handy one of these days. One of these days when some stupid whore tries to hook you up with one of their "hot" friends that has a "great personality" and is "really cool". Some people should be shot. Credits to my friend TJ Carpenter for writing this. |
Soccer Is A Real Man's SportFootball, basketball, baseball, and even hockey can not compare. The only sport more manly that soccer is rugby, but since it's too damn confusing then it sucks too. Football players are sissies. They wear 50 pounds of pads covering nearly their entire bodies and they run around and hit each other barbarically. Basketball, especially the NBA, sucks. While it does require good physical fitness and a decent amount of talent, it still sucks because the biggest advantage is being tall which is completely uncontrollable by human beings. Baseball is just plain boring to watch and play. Obviously it requires a slight amount of talent, but even a monkey could be taught to hit a baseball with a bat. Soccer requires pure skill and physical fitness. It doesn't really discriminate against people of certain height, weight, nationality, etc. except I guess it would be pretty hard to play if you're a fat ass. That, however, goes back to physical fitness though. Soccer players don't wear a shitload of pads either. In fact, shingaurds only weigh about 1 pound per pair. A monkey can only run so fast, but humans can train and get faster. Monkey's aren't as coordinated as humans either thus making us superior when it comes to soccer skill. Fuck all you jocks that rag on soccer players. In reality you're jealous that you don't have the skills to hack in on the turf. I hate to say this, but that's reality. Well, I didn't actually hate to say that, but it really is reality. Reality bites and reality just bit all you 300 pound linemen in your fat asses. |
Good Ol' RightyEveryone masturbates. Guys do it. Girls do it. It's a fact of life. I'm tired of hearing all these guys and girls that say they don't. Guys everywhere pull dick at least every once in awhile and every girl on earth has flicked the bean at least once in her life. Don't lie to me and say you haven't. Quit being a self-righteous assclown and just admit to it. There's nothing wrong with it. Hell, not everyone can manage to get a person of the opposite sex to do it for them all the time. The reason I only mentioned people of the opposite sex is because I don't want to hear about your homosexual experiences. I realize that there are homosexuals in the world, but I sure don't want to hear about their experiences in the bedroom or elsewhere. What it comes down to is the fact that people are too damn uptight to be real. If you want it done right then sometimes you have to do it yourself. On a side not, it's a proven fact that after masturbation the person becomes exhausted for a short period of time until the testosterone levels rise again. So if you can't sleep, then pull dick. Credits to Rob Carpenter for his input on this. |
Guys Are DumbGuys are dumb. In some cases they are just as dumb as girls, in other situations they are more dumb than girls, and in still other cases they are less dumb than girls. They bitch about pointless shit and it gets them nowhere. They know that it won't get them anywhere, but they do it anyway because instead of sitting around all sad and shit they would rather let it be known that they are quite pissed off. So, in effect, guys are usually dumb as a result of being pissed off. I already know that girls are dumb and why they are dumb, but why guys are dumb is still somewhat of a mystery. I'm sure all the girls that will read this will say that guys suck and all the guys that read this will say that girls suck. It's like we are nothing more than pawns in God's game of chess that we all like to call life. As I said when I explained that girls are dumb, if you disagree with me and you are a guy then you are either married, whipped, naive, or some combination of those three. How do I know that guys are dumb? Well, I sort of am one. I know the shit guys go through every day and how we help each other out in a quest to find a girl. |