See if your favorite person, TV series or motion picture is available: video/DVD/books
Are you prepared for World War 3? You know where you're gonna be, don't you? In the woods. Apparently everyone thinks that when the fighting starts this time, middle-America is heading for the state park pavillion...
In addition to Red Dawn, Patrick Swayze also starred in the unrelated Steel Dawn later on.
In this one, Swayze is a road warrior in the desert, protecting a post-apocalyptic pretty farmer (Lisa Niemi, Swayze's wife in real life), from evil Anthony Zerbe (doesn't he ever play good guys?), and his henchmen / soldiers, who want her dirt farm for no apparent reason. At least we assume the setting is post-WW3, the script never bothers to say one way or another. Swayze wields a sword and wears leather. Critics called him a Mad Max wannabe, and audiences pretty much stayed home.
Additional cast: Christopher Neame, John Fujicka, Brion James, Brett Hool Director: Lance Hool. Filmed in Africa. 100 minutes, rated R Steel Dawn was last seen on MonsterVision 9-20-97. No host segments available, anyone got this one on tape?
If you like Red Dawn or Steel Dawn, check out MonsterVision host segments for Damnation Alley (complete with mutant cockroaches attack and gratuitious Jan Michael Vincent) Not to mention Joe Bob's favorite post-apocalyptic Italian movie set in Texas and dubbed into english, 2020 Texas Gladiators host segments So far there hasn't been a sequel to Steel Dawn (or to Dirty Dancing either, unless you count Havana made-for-cable movies with a completely different cast), though there was a sort-of remake:
Steel Frontier (1994)
After the apacalypse, a group of people bravely start over with a little town they call "New Hope." Then bandit soldiers show up to ruin things until a loner shows up to save the day. Brion James (who was also in Steel Dawn), Joe Lara, Bo Svenson, Stacie Foster Written & directed by Jacobsen Hart & Paul G. Volk 94 minutes, rated R
This one looks like it was filmed south of the border in Mesko
Joe Bob's Mailbag
Dear Crypto-Comrade Joe-Bobski:
Ukraine Acres is no place to flee
Farm-living is the half-life for me
Fallout spreading out so far and wide
Keep the Manhatten Project--just gimme that country fried.
Doodles Gorbachev Holey Russia
No, Murmansk is where I'd rather stay
I get allergic from decay I just abhor a Day-Glo view
Dahling I love you but give me a passport for two.
Raisa Gaborchev Muthuh Russia
(Translated by Justin Reed, Phoenix)
In Miami Shores Village, Florida, all goods for sale from Communist nations must be so labled, since such goods are often labled in a "false, misleading or inadequate manner, to hide their Communist origins."
* Socialism: If you have 2 cows, you have to give one to your neighbor
* Communism: If you have 2 cows, you give them to the government, and then the government gives you some milk
* Fascism: If you have 2 cows, you keep the cows and give the milk to the government; then the government sells you some milk
* New Deal: If you have 2 cows, you shoot one and milk the other; then you pour the milk down the drain
* Nazism: If you have 2 cows, the government shoots you and takes the cows
* Capitalism: If you have 2 cows, you sell one and buy a bull Anonymous, published in numerous newspapers in 1936
State Museum Of Maine (in Augusta) research associate Ronald Kley wanted a satellite photo of Maine for an exhibit but was turned down by NASA, the Weather Bureau and the US Air Force, all of whom told him that US satellites orbit too far south to get a good photo of anything north of Chesapeake Bay. Then he contacted the USSR embassy in Washington. The Soviet Academy of Sciences supplied him with excellent satellite photos of the entire east coast from Long Island to Newfoundland, Canada.
"Tis a fault to Heaven, a fault against the dead, a fault to nature" Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 1 Quoted in Col. David Hackworth's "The Price Of Honor"