It's been forever since I wrote in my journal. A lots happened. Last time I wrote was the night Jim and I went out. It was the happiest night of my life. I couldn't tell you about a time where I was more happier than that night. Well the next day him and I talked and he was just as happy about the time we spent together. But that night he told me we couldn't be together. He completely broke my heart. He said it had to be that way and I should just forget about him. How could I forget about him? I was completely and totally in love with him. So here it is a little over a month later and he still wants nothing to do with me. I called him a few days ago thinking that maybe if I left him alone for a few weeks that he would come to his senses but he didn't. He keeps telling me not to call him anymore and that I need to moved on. The last time we talked was the thursday that just past. He told me my happiness shouldn't depend on someone else. He also told me I was too clingy and co-dependent. Before I called him I thought that by pouring my heart out he would think about what he was doing to me. But it didn't work. It's so weird cause when I talk to him now he's like a totally different person. His voice sounds different and his attitude is different. I think to myself "Who is this person?" "This is not the person I fell in love with" I could never fall in love with someone that could treat me the way he's been treating me. He's so cold now, so uncaring. I don't know how I'm just supposed to move on. I don't know how I'm just supposed to pretend he doesn't exist. I don't know how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life never being able to feel his touch again. The most amazing thing about the night we were together was when he just held my hand. I've never felt so comfortable. I've never felt so complete then when he held me. I hate this. I'm so weak. I can't even talk about him without crying. How can he be so strong? I'll never understand.

-:¦:- Feeling * Crushed * -:¦:-