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Welcome to Topper!

"There was much of the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of the bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which might have excited disgust."
-Edgar Allen Poe

This site is a monument to the friends collectively known as "Topper." They have all graduated high school. Since then, they have gone off to bigger and better things (except Lydia who goes to Haverford which is like the size of a dustmite). Basically, I think it best to acknowledge the finality of this historical document. If anyone in the aforementioned society know the site password, you change it. I love you all dearly. You gave me the first genuinely happy years of my life. I'll never forget us.
-Slick Beans

Amen. (Except for the dustmite slur; we're at least as large as a protozoa.) Just dusting and fixing links, so that future classes of IBlets and social psychologists can have a coherent (well, doubtful, but I try) viewing experience.
-Lydia 12.8.00

I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey...
to the enchanted locker cluster of Topper in the elitist realm of IB.

(Or, if you're literary-minded: Deep in the Province of Stoichiosylvania in the Kingdom of Chemistravinth, past the shaky ground of Esawl and the crags of A'ybee, exists a little haven from the preppiness and sanity of the outside world...Topper.)

(On a further note, the Topper locker-cluster now happens to be in the hands of the COMPLETE STRANGERS whereas the Zeros now occupy New Topper in Seen'yur Haalway, hidden from prying eyes by its very own Pep-zee Vendur and a D'oor of Chemistravinth.)

The Topperites are a dedicated band of friends who support, lean on, and, (now that you mention it) sit on each other. While interests vary - from the innocence of Scrabble, Dr.Seuss & Winnie the Pooh, to the intellect of literature, the fine arts, and mathing, from the honorable hours spent toiling over homework, to ending the military government in Burma, and to putting preppies out of their misery, to deplorable witchcraft, blatant sexuality, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Tori Amos, and the Rocky Horror Picture Show - they all care about each other. Beat each other too, but that's what friendship's all about. Protecting each other from the voices, no matter what conspiracy they're planning. So what if they're a few hookers short of an orgy? They're wonderful, brilliant, and highly sexually attractive people!

The Topperites:

Honorary Topperites:

  Jake the oversensitive owl

Old Topperites (They aren't old. Their Topper is old. See "New Topper")
  the Devster (yes, his page doesn't work yet. E-Mail him at and yell at him)

Fun stuff:
A Tribute to John Andersen
Slique is a Princess!!
New Topper???
Dictionary of Topper
Desdemona's Personal Service (aka: CLICK HERE FOR HOT TEENAGE SEX)
Goth Poll
A Survey (it's a surprise)
The Ever-Popular ___ or ___ Survey
How we Saw Tori Amos
Jokes written by Julie & Desdemona
Personality Quiz
You Know You're in IB when...
You know you're a Topperite when...
From the Pen of Topper...
The First Avogadro Story (a vocabulary project that became a Topperite tradition)
Avogadro Returns: the second story in a trilogy of Topperite heroics
Avogadro Forever (NEW AND IMPROVED!!! it is, however, recommended that you read Madame Bovary and listen to a lot of Bjork before reading this story.)
Avogadro Sails Again The last installment, concerning the evil Suluclac Koob and the divergence of Topper.
As We Go A Beveraging A lovely parody of As I Lay Dying with a twist

Spiffy Links:

Someone with good taste in, uh, moosic...
Hypocrisy Has a Brand Name: Slique's Tirade Against Fashion Facism
Stop violence against women!
Rocky Horror text w/ audience participation lines!
Nerdity test
Purity Test
Dr.Seuss Purity Test
Planet Out!!
The Advocate (the gay Newsweek)
GAY PORN (Nathan Gessner's Web Page)
A Box of Aromatic Meat (a curious web page by very spiffy Toriphile...and Bjorkphile if that's a word)
Comprehensive Lesbian Image Test (CLIT)
Turn out the lights, it's Disco Time!
Pythonline: The Home of Monty Python (if you ask, "which one's Monty?" you need to visit here...)
Indigo Girls
Another group of IB people!

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Yes, this is still a valid (although not often-checked) address, if you're curious about the current lives of these people.