What do you think of the mixed messages people and the media around you say about sex and abstinence? Is this confusing? Is there anything you would have wished you'd known about sex when you were younger? *
CHRISTOPHER BATU
YFC-MARYLAND/VIRGINIA
I'm 20 years old. I live in fairfax, Va. and
go to George Mason University. I'm a sophomore.
Mixed messages, indeed. I mainly
find the messages of sex on tv and in the movies angering only because they don't always
portray the reality of the possible consequences of such behavior. Oftentimes you will see
a couple get it on and suffer no repurcusions(sp?) other than the dillema of deciding
whether to call the next day or not. Although this can very well be a realistic situation,
rarely do images imply that pregnancy or STDs are even an issue in casual sex. I don't
find it offensive to show such images, but I disagree with the attitude that is cast upon
sexual behavior.
I tend to see that my peers
are more influenced by glamourized images of sex. Messages from the president hardly get
much attention, especially when they are about subjects such as abstinence. I get the
feeling that people find abstinence and things of that nature to be restricting.
There's no doubt that practicing
abstinence keeps one from having sex, but not having sex isn't all that it's about.
There's a reason why abstinence is taught and encouraged. It's not because sex is evil,
it's because there are responsibilities that come along with sex that most people care not
to accept.
The two largest ones are pregnancy
and diseases. Whether you like it or not... unless you're physically incapable of
procreating (sp?), those two are some serious factors when it comes to sexual relations.
Unless you're willing to accept the
responsibilities that may arise, then perhaps you should consider not having sexual
relations until you are. And that's what abstinence is about. Sex isn't evil. But it
carries a load of responsibility with it... be ready to deal with it before all your
clothes come off.
I also notice that if people don't
like a particular person, anything that person says is discredited. For example, if
someone doesn't like Bush... and he says something about abstinence, chances are the
person who doesn't like Bush won't like that message just because Bush is giving it. I
know this isn't true for all people, what is?
But I think people need
to focus more on the focus of the message and not the messenger. Consider values and
morales for their own worth and not their worth in someone else. Religion for example, I
won't dwell on this long cause it could go on forever, but there are plenty of good
religious values and morales out there. Many of them are thrown out the window because
they're "religious" messages. Just because you don't believe in a god, or three
of four, or in reincarnation, what have you, doesn't mean you can't listen to some of
their messages and take them at their inherent value. You don't need to be spiritual to be
a good friend or just a good person in general, you don't need to go to church every week
to be a little more considerate. Values are values, regardless. You don't need to believe
in God to be responsible about sex.
Information about sex literally
comes from everywhere. Everything you mentioned is a source of information. You hear
things from a friend's experiences, learn things or get lectured from the parents, it's
all over the screen. You hear about it on the radio, read about it in books, see images in
magazines. And the Web is just one big house of porn that somehow gets its hands on your
email account.
I would say I feel most
comfortable talking about it with my friends. There's no need for formalities and no
pressure, no boundaries on communications and generally friends understand where you're
going with something better than most people.
I think young people just need to know the
truth and they need to hear it or see it in media that they will give attention to. Be
truthful in movies and on tv, talk about it seriously on the radio and in magazines, etc.
Glamorizing it all the time will only distort people's perceptions of it.
I don't think abstinence education
is enough. Though a far fetched ideal, I think society needs to develop a more mature
attitude towards sex. People need to respect it for what it is, a serious and
responsibility-laden physical act.
If people respected it more, it
probably would not get the image it does from the press. If sex doesn't sell... chances
are it'll come off the market rather quickly.
I wish I would've known more
completely what could possibly happen after sex. That way I would understand better what I
was getting myself in to. If I were to chat with myself I'd have to break down the reality
of what could happen. It might sound like I was scaring me away from it, but unfortunately
I would only be telling the truth.
THEY SAID
I’m not oblivious to sex's overwhelming bombardment in this nation’s culture, society, and media. We are all sexual beings. Talking about sex is difficult, which is why it's a good thing you brought it up. ... [ more ]
* Questions originally asked for an article by The Associated Press. They didn't use most of Chris' contributions, and allowed we use the quotes. Wanna be quoted by a big news organization? Click here.
