Mr. Perfect:
Up here again? Promo of the Year, Matches of the Year ... now Wrestler of the Year? Obviously. It makes ... perfect ... sense. After all these years, STILL the most wanted outlaw in the land. I'd tell you how I do it, but everybody knows the answer to that one already: easily. You know, I've seen a lot of changes to the sport of wrestling over the years, and I've worked for just about every major promotion there's ever been. Stars come and stars go, promotions come and go, owners, chairmen -- they all come and go. The one constant? You're lookin' at him. I've got a best friend that works for another company that sometimes gets a little over-zealous, saying he should've won this thing over me, but as I called him and told him that very day: I'll compare resumés with anybody and have no doubt that I am exactly what I say I am: the best wrestler of all-time ... and the best wrestler of 2005.

Rob Schneider:
(dressed as Hulk Hogan, from the crowd) You cahn dooo eeet! Bruther!

(Crowd laughs.)