Jim Ross:
Well, King, it's been quite the night thus far, wouldn't you say?

Jerry Lawler:
You got that right, JR ... and just look at this crowd ... so many PUPPIES!

Jim Ross:
Ha, ha, ha ... well, we're not out here to present the award for Diva of the Year, which I'm sure breaks YOUR heart.

Jerry Lawler:
Oh, the humanity! Why couldn't Eric Bischoff give that assignment to me? I judged the Bikini Blast for him!

Jim Ross:
Maybe that has to do with the reason why ... you WERE pretty easily influenced, after all.

Jerry Lawler:
HEY!

Jim Ross:
Well, folks, we're up here to present the award for Tag Team of the Year in 2005, and as the best broadcast team of the year, we're very proud to do so, isn't that right, King?

Jerry Lawler:
Absolutely, JR. You know, it takes a lot to be a great team. You have to be able to know what your partner is thinking, you have to be able to maybe even pick up the slack when they're not up to par. You know, like every week on Wargames, when the King has to pick up the slack on commentary! Ha, ha!

Jim Ross:
... right. And sometimes you just have to let your partner go out there and make an ass of himself, then pick up the pieces and get on to the nominees ... right, King?

Jerry Lawler:
AH!

Jim Ross:
And the nominees ARE ...

Jerry Lawler:
Shawn Stasiak and Mike Sanders, the Natural Born Thrillers.

Jim Ross:
Shawn Stevens and Austin Sharp ... the Young, Rich, & Dangerous.

Jerry Lawler:
Masked Man 1 and Masked Man 2 ... the Masked Men! Or the Legendary Proud Unfailing Dave's Private Stash Defending SCW, HWA, and PWF World Tag Team Champions of Myth! What a name!

Jim Ross:
I'll say. ... Riptide and Buff Bagwell ... Awesome, Inc.

Jerry Lawler:
Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude, the Robbinsdale Mafia!

Jim Ross:
Some absolutely tremendous talent right there, King. Five teams ... but only one Slammy. Who's it going to be?

Jerry Lawler:
Well, the winners are ... AH! The Masked Men!

PA SYSTEM:
["YOUTH GONE WILD" by SKID ROW] ...

(The Masked Men, in tuxedos, make their way to the stage to a thunderous ovation. Masked Man 1 holds the Slammy over his head.)

Masked Man 1:
YO ADRIAN~! WE DID IT!

Masked Man 2:
Tanoshii desu, yo!

Masked Man 1:
Dude, dude, we are THE GREATEST TEAM OF ALL TIME EVER, how's that?

Masked Man 2:
SUUPAA~!

Masked Man 1:
Yeah, boy!

Jim Ross:
Congratulations. You earned it.

Masked Man 1:
This is just ... man, I don't have anything PREPARED, or ...

(He pulls out a folded-up sheet of paper and unfolds it.)

Masked Man 1:
I'd just like to thank a few people who are partially responsible for my being here right here and right now ... AH-AH-AHEM! There's AC Viper and Pimp Homeo, who Christian and I of course mocked relentlessly in the SCW and are now oo-out of wrestling. Also James Ace, as much as he is MINE MOST ANCIENT ENEMY for his thievery, he DID take a chance on a little comedy team fresh oo-out of some stupid federation where Triple H won all the time, and put us right where we belonged, on top of the tag team division. Let's see ... oh, oh, The Unfathomable Chris Jericho of course, for being a great brother and mentor.

The Undefeatable Chris Jericho:
(yelling from crowd) RIGHT BACK AT YA, BRO!

Masked Man 1:
I would be remiss in not thanking the hot hot hottie hot hottie hottie hot hot, for hours of INSPIRATION, despite not going as far as she SHOULD have ... one day, babe! ONE DAY!

The Undefeatable Kimona Wanalaya:
(yelling from crowd) NOT A CHANCE, DUMBASS!

Masked Man 1:
Also, I would like to thank my colleague in pimpery Rick Rude, since withoo-out his tireless efforts to SPREAD THE WORD of my greatness by using the advice I gave him on ADVICE FROM THE LOVELORN, I would be slightly less of the pop culture phenomenon I am today. Er, that WE are today.

Masked Man 2:
Arigatou gozaimasu!

Masked Man 1:
Yeah! And of course, I'd like to thank the many Masked Man 2s, for withoo-out them, there would be no Masked Men! Oh, and Dave, for trusting in us back when we were in POW, and letting us guard his stash. THANKS, DAVE! Oh, and I promised Isiah a SHOO-OUT-OO-OUT! You rule!