Hi, everyone. Well, because I have so much free time on my hands, I have decided to go ahead
and rip off Sean (and Orsi) and create a "Quote of the Day" page of my own. But I have so many quotes
that I think I am going to split it up into "serious quotes" and "funny quotes," and then add more than one
a day if I am so inclined. Every once in a while (though such an incident is rare), I will not come online
during a given day, and then there will not be quotes for said day. All right? Let the fun begin.
August 27, 2001--funny quote: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius
is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theismann, football commentator
serious quote: "This, my body and spirit, this is the end of my quest. I wished to know the meaning of
things. I am the meaning. I wished to find a warrant for being. I need no warrant for being, and no
word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction." -- Ayn Rand, Anthem
August 28, 2001--funny quote: "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body."--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
serious quote: "The only thing unbearable is the degradation, the prostitution of the living
mysteries in us. Let man only approach his own self with a deep respect, even reverence for all
that creative soul, the God-mystery within us, puts forth...Lewdness is hateful because it impairs
our integrity and our proud being."--D.H. Lawrence
August 29, 2001--funny quote: "I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an
argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great
respect, they don't even invite me."--Dave Barry
serious quote: "The planet is not in jeopardy. We are in jeopardy. We haven't got the
power to destroy the planet--or to save it. But we might have the power to save ourselves"--Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park.
August 30, 2001--funny quote: "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction."
--General Douglas MacArthur
serious quote: "Life is a walking shadow, a poor player, who struts and frets his hour upon the
stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifyiing nothing."
--William Shakespeare, Macbeth
August 31, 2001--funny quote: "Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? (1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
(2) Advising the President. (3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin." --David Letterman
serious quote: "Between the desire and the spasm, between the potency and the existence,
between the essence and the descent falls the Shadow." --T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
September 1, 2001--funny quote: "Even very young children need to be informed about
dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much
more effective." --P. J. O'Rourke
serious quote: "This is the way the world ends/ Not with a bang but a whimper." --T.S. Eliot,
"The Hollow Men"
September 2, 2001--funny quote: "Mom always said, 'I hate you! Your father wouldn't have
left if it weren't for you! You were an accident!' I used to cry, but deep down I know that if it weren't
for Mom's tough love, I never would've gotten the courage to shoot that fifth cop and make it all the
way to Panama." -- Rumination from Top 5
serious quote: "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical
naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix..."
--Allen Ginsberg, "Howl"
September 3, 2001--funny quote: "The advantage of being born a long time ago
is that you could say something simple like, 'I think, therefore I am,' and become famous.
The disadvantage, I guess, is that now you're dead." -- Rumination from Top 5
serious quote: "I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent
seas." -- T.S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
September 4, 2001--funny quote: "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no
influence on society." --Mark Twain
serious quote: "With the coming forward of Greece, mankind became the center of the
universe, the most important thing in it. This was a revolution in thought. Human beings had
counted for little heretofore. In Greece, man first realized what mankind was." -- Edith Hamilton,
Mythology
September 5, 2001--funny quote: "Some guy hit me in the fender the other day, and I said unto him,
'be fruitful, and multiply.' But not in those words." -- Woody Allen
funny quote #2: "I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl
to sleep with me and she said 'no'." -- Woody Allen
serious quote: "Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way
down." -- Wilson Mizner
September 6, 2001--funny quote: "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
--Charles De Gaulle
serious quote: "Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has,
and that which he thinks he has." -- Alphonse Karr (don't even ask who this guy is)
September 7, 2001--funny quote: "USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently,
three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population." --David Letterman
serious quote: "When all think alike, no one is thinking." -- Walter Lippman
September 8, 2001 --funny quote: "These are a few of my favorite things: baby lambs, long walks in the rain,
grilling and eating neighborhood children on my patio and, of course, rainbows.God forbid
I forget the damned rainbows." -- Chris MacEachen
serious quote: "It is certain that to most men the preparation for death has been a greater
torment than the suffering of it." -- Michel de Montaigne
September 9, 2001 --funny quote: "The date ended shortly after I saw the leper-skin rug in her living room."
--Rumination from Top Five
serious quote: "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other
is to gain it." -- George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman
September 10, 2001--funny quote: "The post office is raising the price of stamps by 1 cent to
upgrade their equipment. Apparently they're upgrading from semiautomatics to Uzis." --Conan O' Brien
serious quote: "No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn."-- Jim Morrison
September 11, 2001--funny quote: "If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
However -- if life gives you a pickle, you might as well give up, because pickle-ade is
disgusting." -- Ruminations from Top 5
serious quote: "There is not a fiercer hell than the failure in a great object." -- John Keats
September 12, 2001--funny quote: "You know there is a problem with the education
system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R." --Dennis Miller
serious quote: "Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing to fear is fear itself."
--Franklin D. Roosevelt
September 13, 2001--funny quote: "I used to think that being able to change from
human to beast under a full moon would be cool, but most people just laugh at were-chipmunks."
-- Ruminations from Top Five
serious quote: "Our respect for the dead, when they are just dead, is something
wonderful." -- John Ruskin
September 14, 2001--funny quote: "The Ten Commandments contain 297 words.
The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words.
A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words."
--Atlanta Journal
serious quote: "Either the soul is immortal and we shall not die, or it perishes with the
flesh, and we shall not know then that we are dead. Live, then, as if you were eternal."
-- Andre Maurois
September 15, 2001--funny quote: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way
that bricks don't."
"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and
merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. "
"For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to
happen." -- Douglas Adams
serious quote: "The tyrant dies and his rule is over; the martyr dies and his rule begins."
-- Soren Kierkegaard
September 15, 2001--funny quote: "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
serious quote: "Beware the fury of a patient man." -- John Dryden
September 16, 2001--funny quote: "The best part of throwing up is Folger's in your lap."
-- Ruminations at Top Five
serious quote: "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." -- Nathan
Hale
September 17, 2001--funny quote: "Question: If you could live forever, would you
and why??
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever because, if we
were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which
is why I would not live forever. --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
serious quote: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." -- Henry David Thoreau
September 18, 2001--funny quote: "October. This is one of the peculiarly
dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April,
November, May, March, June, December, August and February." -- Mark Twain
serious quote: "The greatest mistake I ever made was not to die in office." -- Dean
Achison
September 19, 2001--funny quote: "One gets the impression from the popular
press that rape is the British national pastime." -- Lord Wigoder
serious quote: "Impiety. Your irreverence toward my diety." -- Ambrose Bierce
October 9, 2001--funny quote: "I killed a hobo." -- Kenny Hamilton, Gavilan 210
serious quote: "I can't believe in the God of my fathers. If there is one Mind which
understands all things, it will comprehend me in my unbelief. I don't know whose hand hung
Hesperus in the sky, and fixed the Dog Star, and scattered the shining dust of heaven, and fired
the sun, and froze the darkness between the lonely worlds that spin in space." -- Gerald Kersh
November 19, 2001--funny quote: "A severed
foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer." -- Mitch Hedburg
serious quote: "Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous -- to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd." -- Thomas Mann
January 1, 2001--funny quote: "It's a good thing cashews are curved and not
straight, or they'd get stuck even further up your nose than they do now." - Ruminations from
Top Five
serious quote: "Nothing changes on New Year's Day." - U2 (inevitable...forgive me)
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