I wrote this in a random email to Colin because I was frustrated by the fact that I had run out of soap near my sink. It is awful. But Colin thinks it is amusing. And so, perhaps, it is.
O woe is me,
not to have any soap!
For thou art a greatness,
a goodness, that keepeth me
clean, keepeth my fingers
free from foul poisons,
keepeth me from getting bacteria
in my entrails.
O woe is me,
to have seen the last of thee, dear soap!
Thy legacy of cleanliness
and unearthly propriety
shall be ingrained in my brain
far after thy death.
I shall honor thee from the grave,
O dearest soap.
O woe is me,
To live without soap.
Mine eyes are scarred
Not to behold thy
Pearly white complexion
Smothering my hands;
Now they shall be forever stained
With dirt and worms.
Whatever staineth me shall
Remember that once there was soap!
And now there is none.
Anon, it is time for me to die.
Woe to the one who has no soap.
I still don't know what "Anon" means. I had been reading far too much Shakespeare.
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