The Child At Heart: Nine-Twelve

Part 9

They met Buffy and Angel there, both looking really pissed off.

"Buffy! Hi! What's up?" Buffy glared at Angel.

"Not him." She replied.

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm only 10 and that stuff doesn't happen for awhile!" Angel shot back, unaware of Spike.

"Em, mate? You mean we can't ... ?" He looked at his sire.

"No, Spike. We canít get the log up, much less flog it."

Willow sputtered at his use of language. Buffy glared.

"Never mind. We are 10 years old, and we are gonna enjoy it." The three not-so-mystic creatures looked at the young slayer. "When you were 10, what did you miss out on?" She asked Spike.

"Friends, a life, a mother..." He rattled off.

"Fine. Spike: today, I order you to have a childhood. It may be the only chance you get."

Part 10

The four friends took off towards the ocean. After about an hour of cavorting around in the waves like the children they currently were, they trooped over to the ice-cream stand.




"Peanut Butter Banana."

The friends looked at Buffy.

"What? A girl's gotta be weird sometime."

The witch, and the two ex-vampires rolled their eyes.

"Luv, you could never be un-weird." Spike said, licking his cone. She grinned.

"Thank you, Spike. I'll take that as a compliment."

He looked at her. "I meant it as one, pet."

"Oh. Um, Spike?"

"Yes, slayer?"

"Don't call me pet."

Angel and Willow looked after the two bottle blondes, and sighed.

That's when it hit them.

Part 11

"OOH! That REALLY hurts!"

"Would you bloody shut up!"

"Jeez, Spike. Chill."

"Sorry, Slayer. My head hurts."

"No, shit, sherlock. Mine does too."

"Tsk, tsk, slayer. Such language for a 10 year old."

"Bite me, Spike."

"Really?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Spike" she sang. "You can't even if you wanted to. You're not a vampire, remember?"

"I remember. I think I gotta take a pisser."

"Thanks. That's something I SO needed to know."

Part 12

"Spike, it's been hours. What do we do now? We've already played thumb war like, 50 million times, and we've arm wrestled, now what?" Buffy was whining. And it was gettin' annoying. Really annoying.

"We could fuck."

She looked at him and quirked an eyebrow. ĒScuse me?"

"You heard me, slayer...oh, wait. We can't. I canít get my dick up. Sorry, Willie. No action tonight." Spike was sarcastic, and starting to go mad.

"Spi...whoa." Buffy felt all tingly inside.

"Slayer, what's wrong?"

"I ... ooh...don't ... know...aah!"

Suddenly, in a flash of light, an 18 year old Buffy was sitting next to him.

"Oh, shit." Buffy looked down at the cover up she was wearing over the bathing suit, and realized she was in wedgie hell, and the cover up was just barely covering up what it was supposed to.

Spike, however, was in heaven. He looked at Buffy's full breast, barely covered by the scrap of clothing she was wearing. Bloody Hell she was hot. And she was sitting right next to him. BUT HE COULDN'T GET HIS BLOODYCOCKUP!!! Spike was ... aggravated. They sat that way for about an hour, Spike trying to take a peek, and Buffy trying to hide.

"Ut oh. Slayer."

"What do you want, Spike?"

"I think my pants are shrinking."


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