August 2003

Broken X23 - 08/28/03 - 9:15 PM

I finally got something! It's an online pamphlet for my campaign. I put in in the essay section because it's... sort of almost like an essay. That section needed more content too. I was telling Meltdown earlier today that the Essays section should be our main focus. He didn't agree with me though.

Broken X23 - 08/27/03 - 7:39 PM

Nice try but I still beat you. I had to sit at a light too, dumbass. And on my way home I had to stop to set a building on fire and siphon fuel from a car I found, so it's not like I wasn't side tracked too. And my car WAS off. I was waiting IN the car.

I will give you credit on the message board though. Sure, it may be a really bare bones message board, but it is nice to have one again. Now we have two places to argue back and forth endlessly. Though if anyone wants to, they can join us in the message board. Just make sure to read the rules. I doubt anyone will show up except for maybe that one kid.

RealityMeltdown - 08/26/03 - 11:20 PM

Alright ladies and gentlemen. First off: News that actually pertains to the site and every last one of you.

The brand new Message Board. Some of the colors need touching up, but, all in time.

Broken is a bald-faced liar. He was opening his car door when I pulled up. Unless he's so retarded as to take several weeks to turn off his car, it would only have been a minute. And this included me getting caught at the only light for 3 hours, and saving 3 children from a burning building and helping push a car to a local gas station. And I was a minute behind. So tell him to shut his miserable, rotten toothed-pie hole.

Am I done now that the message board is up? I have another project I intend to finish before the end of a week or two, and I should be able to. So, more on the way.

Broken X23 - 08/25/03 - 11:22 PM

In keeping with this month's theme of idiot California drivers, I thought I'd share a couple of my experiences. A few days ago I was near a freeway entrance and there was some guy ahead of us who apparently missed his turn. There were two entrances, one for north and one for south (or maybe it was east and west). He wanted to get on the south entrance but being a dumbass, he missed it. So what does he do? He fucking stops right there in the middle of the road and backs up, almost hitting us in the process, so he can get on the freeway.

I also hate people who stop 2 or 3 car lengths away from the car in front of them at a stop light. Even worse is when they do that with a crosswalk. There's no reason to be so far back.

I have one more story to tell too. Last month I was driving along on the freeway on my way home. Suddenly some asshole starts honking at me. I look around and see none other than my co-webmaster in the lane next to me. Our houses are fairly close. He has this way home he takes that he's always insisted was better than the route I take. So I decide that this would be a great opportunity to prove his ass wrong. We each take our seperate ways and when I get to my house, Meltbrain is nowhere to be seen. So I wait... and wait and wait and wait. Then finally, after 5 or 10 minutes, he shows up, proving that his route is shit. Now, since he's a crybaby who can't admit when he's wrong, he starts bitching. So I get out of my car and kick his ass.

It sure does suck driving in California.

Broken X23 - 08/24/03 - 9:19 PM

You brainless jackass. You're like a big shot movie executive sitting up there in his fancy office who thinks he knows what the public wants to see. Thanks for ruining us, asshole. You've turned our pure and honest hatred towards each other into something resembling a reality TV show! I never threw an insult at you unless you had insulted me or said something stupid in your previous post. That just so happened to be every fucking post you made. I didn't do it "for the fans." I did it to defend myself against your slanderous lies.

There's only one thing more lifeless and greed fueled as my co-webmaster, and that's Britney's Dance Beat. Go find a new site to master, dickhole.

Progress is being made on my game.

RealityMeltdown - 08/23/03 - 12:34 AM

Ahhh, welcome back.

It has recently come to my attention that the longtime war (begun within 2 days of this site's launch) between me an my Co-webmaster has been suffering some sort of peace negotiation of late. We have not been the barrelling wildebeasts of hate that you have come to expect.

And so, I would like to say, in bold type, I am not done telling this jackass what an ass he is. until he conceeds that he is as useless of a person as most bricks, I will continue to berate, complain, and generally insult him and his well being.

Broken, you are a monster turd. If you readers need to read the "L337 ghetto" jargon, then damnit, you better talk like you spilled a gallon of your explosive diarrheal feces on the keyboard, and only the adjacent numpad can be used to communicate to the outside world. I'm sure you can quit rolling in your piles of money and your own filth. I'm sure your primtive alligator brain has trouble distinguishing the two, a major problem when you try and pay for "Brittneys Dance Beat" at a local gaming station.

As for the site, I've still got stuff in the works. It's certainly taking longer than expected. Microsoft is a pain in the ass on the one, and the other is weird compatibility with Angelfire. Milestones, milestones on the ride to freedom! I hope it'll be soon. I bet I'll beat Broken to his : oh, right, nothing; that he's working on.

Broken X23 - 08/16/03 - 11:17 AM

Quit your whining. People who come to our site want to feel happy. They don't want to read about your personal issues. Face it, you have a small wang. Lots of people do and it's nothing to be ashamed of. And if you want people to read and understand your guide then you need to speak their language. Kids today don't want to hear all that technical jargon. They want lots of slang words like "hizzy" and "beyatch" and refrences to their popular hip-hop icons. And you can't type things like "for you." If you type out words like that, kids won't know what you're talking about. You need to type "4 u" and "ur." They only understand unabbreviated words if they're hand written, and even then it's rare that they'll get it.

So what else is going on? Well, it looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger might be our next governor. He was on the Tonight Show recently where he announced it and everything. I didn't watch it because I never watch the Tonight Show (it blows), but I saw some clips on another show. He said he was running and then everyone in the audience started screaming and cheering. "Woo! Yeah! He's got name recognition so I'm going to vote for him! He's a famous movie star so he must be a good politician too!" What a bunch of assholes. This is just another reason I did a hate column on late night talk show audiences so many moons ago.

Anyway, all he did in the clips I saw was attach stupid catch phrases he's coined over the years onto really vague solutions to our many problems. Actually, no, he didn't have ANY soltions. No details about anything. Just a bunch of shit he knew the audience would applaud. "I'm going to fix the budget! I'll be back!" Then the audience, being stupid, would start cheering. One of California's biggest problems is our impending doom at the hand of a giant earthquake that experts say will occur one of these days. The one that's going to break us off from the rest of the country and sink us into the ocean. How is Arnold going to solve this problem? Will he use his muscles to push us back into the mainland? Yeah right. He'll grab all his money and fly off to some other state and run for governor there.

Anyway, I'm still working on the game. School starts soon so I should get more free time. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it.

RealityMeltdown - 08/15/03 - 5:30 PM

A week since my last update... and nearing half a month for Broken. I've updated the Quotes page, but not with much. What can I say, not much has been said. Life is boring.

Anyway, I hope to have something diffrent up soon, but I just haven't been enthused about tinkering with ti and fine tuning it. Hopefully I can get my act together and it wont take long.

I think that I should stop physically talking to people. It's obvious nobody listens to me. Even digitally. I got told I should cover partitions in my guide, which I did. Granted, the guy who said it had gotten an earlier copy of it, but damnit, I sent him the newer ones twice, and he asked for the site to find it here. And he also told someone else that is aid something completely contradictory to what I think about blasted partitions. I can understand he was confused in the whole process, but still. Only so many excuses can be made for blatant disreguard of what I say.
Maybe if I only wrote on a whiteboard and just held it up it'd work better. I seriously think only 3 or 4 people in this universe listen to me. And one of them is Broken. I'm fucked. It's like being able to talk to only a disgruntled goat. It knows what you're saying, but it just doesn't help you at all.

RealityMeltdown - 08/08/03 - 7:45 PM

Alright, heres an update: Nothing new for the rest of the site. I've backed it up, not that you care.

I think California must have tested an "Idiot Driver" ray sometime, just ran around blasting every aby they could find. Or maybe some monolithic curse was placed upon them. I dunno. but this diiot in fornt of me kept getting into the right hand lane, then changing their mind just before the onramp and veering into my lane. Traffic was pretty heavy, and my exit wasn't far, so I couldn't just ditch them. I had to sit behind them, sitting, wondering. It was a truck, with crap in it. The guy may have had a mullet, and I'm not sure of the sex of the othe rlong haired driver. Maybe they were rednecks, thus unable to read the roadsigns, due to, y'know, scratching that sunburn. And then they get off at my exit! Those whores! Get out of my domain!

I'm eating an experimental food. We had some kidna dry meat in the fridge, and I couldn't find any barbeque sauce... so I tried using this HP sauce instead in my sandwich. It's alright. But that bottle was really old, so I can't recommend it. Maybe it's fermented...

RealityMeltdown - 08/07/03 - 1:00 AM

I've kept my word and produced. Here is a new Essay. It's actually really mroe of a guide... but thats not so diffrent from a serious essay. This is the web version of something I made for everyone I know. Check it out, especially if you know very little about your computer. Any issues should be send by carrier pigeon expressly to Me.

Take it easy folks. I know I've been feeling tired all day. Don't be like me. Don't suffer with narcolepsy.

Broken X23 - 08/03/03 - 4:50 PM

Yeah, I was serious when I said a couple months. So what? It'll take at least 40 hours to beat the first time. And keep in mind that's 40 hours spread out over a period of several weeks. I only have a couple hours of free time a day so I can't just play it all the way to the end in one sitting like you do. And then once I beat it, I want to go through it again and play it as an evil character. So that'll be a month at the very least.

And there's no need to argue about the Metroid Prime thing. I didn't mean to start a debacle with my comments. Sure, you fucked up pretty bad with that review, but that was a long time ago and I've gotten over it. You haven't done it again, so I'll assume you've learned your lesson.

Now, I'd like to leave a couple notes for any customers of the place I work that might be reading this:

1. We're not a mexican restaurant. Stop ordering tacos.
2. Shave before you come. I don't want to cook for people with facial hair.
3. Don't drive cars with minature American flags on them, it proves nothing.
4. Get new voices. You all sound the same over the speaker and it's annoying.
5. Stop ordering bacon.
6. Don't say "Hi, how are you?" when I try to take your order. You can assume that I'm having a horrible day.
7.To the lowrider gang: throw your garbage away. Lately I've noticed some of you have been leaving your garbage on the edge of the garbage cans. That's a start, but it'd really help if you put it all the way in. The trick is to push open that little flap. That may be what's confusing some of you. If you still can't figure it out, try going back to school. I'm sure the teachers there would be more than happy to teach you how to use garbage cans.
8. To the lowrider gang: Your cars are not cool. Stop wasting your time on trivial bullshit and do something important.
9. To the lowrider gang: Do not stay past midnight. You get in the way when we try to close.
10. And the most important rule of all: stop eating here. We're not good for you and if you keep coming, you'll all die in a massive orgy of heart attacks.

RealityMeltdown - 08/02/03 - 5:00 PM

Alright, I've got a few issues to address concerning this "Metroid Prime" debacle Broken has begun in his review below. And by the way, I think it's been far more than a few days since he bought that. He's serious when he says a few months for that Knights of the Old Republic review. Maybe if I, and you can help, harss him, it'll be out before dust settles on the copies of it in the used piles at Funcoland.

I did write the majority of my review before I beat the game. I posted it before I beat the game. However, I posted it less than a day before I did beat the game. I was so addicted to that game before it was even out, it's all I did to breathe. I think I had some sort of coma between it's release in November to opening the package on Christmas. After which I beat the game in about a week, tops. Due to Broken's nagging, I made roughly two more lines in addition to my usual post-review changes. Like the day after I beat it. What does that mean? I spent under a week to get that review out, because I wrote alot of things while they were still fresh. Literally, because I didn't want to leave out any of the goey goodness from the inside of that doughnut of a review. So please, shut up.

No anecdote for today, maybe I'll have one tomorrow.

Broken X23 - 08/01/03 - 7:18 PM

I started a review a couple days ago and I finally got around to finishing it. It's for MechAssault.
I know we don't review new games much, but I bought Knights of the Old Republic recently and I'll probably review it within the next couple of months.

I know a while back I said my next update would be good. As you can see, this wasn't the case. Certain... roadblocks are preventing us from releasing multimedia content for the site. I'm working on something else right now though that I may want to upload. It's sort of like a cartoon, but interactive. Unfortunately it's not a Flash file and most of you won't even be able to use it. But hey, at least we're getting off to a good start this month. I'm not even sure last month is worth putting in the archives.

RealityMeltdown - 08/01/03 - 1:00 AM

I've finished Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne; and added a new section on it to the review.

Yesterday, I was going to McDonalds for some ice cream; someone in my family is addicted to the soft serve and so I picked some up for me too. I blame my crippling addiction to sugar. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the ngith, and I have these hot flashes that can only be appeased with ...say.. a doughnut, or slaughtering of the innocents. Anyway, on the way to appease the dark lords with Mc Donalds, this car was driving backwards in the middle of the frikkin road! I can picture the conversation between the people inside:
"So you see, Carla, the wildebeast is actually a mammal!"
"So I see Karl! You're so smart! Wow... we're getting farther away from that stop light. How strange!"
"I know, Carla! It's a mystery! I don't even know how to drive! Hahaha."
"Hahaha."

People are morons.

On to other notes, I've finished what I was working on, I hope to make a web version for you all tomorrow.