RealityMeltdown's Guide to Using a Computer.

Table of Contents

Section One: Introduction - Jump
Section Two: Hardware - Jump

What is hardware? - Jump
What are all these parts called? - Jump
What is a card? - Jump
What is a drive? - Jump
How do I setup my computer? - Jump

Section Three: Software - Jump

What is Software? - Jump
What is an Operating System? - Jump
How does the Operating System affect Programs? - Jump
How do I install programs? - Jump
How do I uninstall programs? - Jump

Section Four: Files - Jump

What is a file? - Jump
Why use folders? - Jump
What should I do about partitions? - Jump

Section Five: Internet - Jump

How do I connect to the Internet? - Jump
What are cookies? - Jump
What are downloads? - Jump
Who is a hacker or what is a virus? - Jump
How can I stop Spam? - Jump
What is File Sharing? - Jump
How can I avoid pornography online? - Jump

Section Six: Troubleshooting and Technical Support - Jump

What if my Hardware isn’t working? - Jump
What is wrong with my Operating System? - Jump
Why wont this program work? - Jump
How can I get more space on my computer? - Jump
Why is my computer so slow? - Jump
Is there any basic maintenance I should do? - Jump
Why do I still have problems if I follow your guide? - Jump
How should I talk to the technical support people? - Jump
Should I pay non-professional technical support? - Jump

Section Seven: Glossary - Jump

Section One: Introduction

Because Anyone Can Learn Not to Bother Me. - Return to Contents

Almost every booklet you read will begin with an introduction. And many texts exist to teach people how to use computers. In many respects, this document does the same. I will attempt, attempt, mind you, to explain and answer many aspects of computers that many people find challenging. However, this text differs from so many others in one great respect.

It is not that I am more knowledgeable, as I’m sure many long time users, people with college degrees in computers, or, even more advanced, technical support personnel have written texts to help people understand computers. It is not that I feel I am any better at explaining, at writing, or drawing neat little diagrams than these qualified personnel. No, none of these things are my primary goal.

My goal is simply this: I want to avoid fiddling with your computer. I don’t want to diagnose, solve, counsel or advise people. It’s not that I wont; far from it. If I didn’t want to help you, I certainly wouldn’t want to write a helpful little guide, would I? No, I’d move to Alaska and live in an igloo and eat fish all day. But when (not if) you have a computer dilemma, I want you to know some basics about how things work, how your system runs, and other general know-how that can not only avoid me having to help, but also make it easier for me to know what’s wrong. Not to mention the little habits people do that just plain get in the way.

If you are able to use a computer for anything, you can learn proper maintenance, be familiar with some terms, and some good procedure. Many people find for themselves a stumbling block with technology, some sort of self-proclaimed line in the sand they will not cross. They just don’t want to learn anything more. But if you use a computer, and you ever want help, it’s at least decent of you to try and be familiar with terms and problems you may be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I hardly expect most of the terms presented to matter to most people, but if you can look it up, you know it(Engineering Motto #1). So quit fooling yourself, if you use Windows to play solitaire, you can understand many a thing. If you can’t use a computer at all, find yourself a very good buddy, because I can’t help you at all.

I will not explain everything. If you are curious to know more about computers, please, dive in. Dive into someone else’s literature. I will cover common computers and common mistakes. I appreciate variety and differences, but I’m not going to discuss them all.
I will explain many things you (hopefully) already know. Skim them the first time through; skip them if you return to this guide. That is what the chapters and sections are for.

Section Two: Hardware

Without Which, You’d Not Need This Guide - Return to Contents

What is hardware? - Start of Chapter

It’s time for the first definition:

• Hardware - A physical pile of metal that does some work.
  

This is a very casual definition, but hey, it gets the point across. What is and is not hardware? A fork could be considered hardware. It’s metal, and it does things. A cat is not hardware. First, it’s not metal, and second, it won’t do work under any circumstances. A toaster oven is hardware. A piece of toast is not.

More often than not, one uses hardware to describe physical pieces of a computer system. For instance, the monitor of your computer is hardware. So are the mouse, the keyboard, and the computer itself. Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Word, Adobe PhotoShop, these products are all not hardware. They are not something you can hold unto and cradle in your arms. Or try and smash into something. Hardware is all connected to your computer, and/or plugged into a wall.

What are all these parts called? - Start of Chapter

Many parts come with a computer. Sometimes people forget the names. Don’t feel dumb because nobody ever told you. I’ll describe standard parts, don’t be dismayed if yours differs significantly. Laptops can skip this, because if you’re assembling a laptop, I think you don’t need my help.

Monitor - The thing that looks most like your TV.


It displays the picture.


Computer - The big box that probably hums a bit.


This is what does all the work of your computer. Don’t mistakenly call your monitor the computer. The monitor is like a window into a little room. It shows you what’s going on inside, but it doesn’t do anything on it’s own.


Mouse - The little dangling device that moves that arrow around onscreen.


It’s an important piece.


Keyboard – The long board with lots of buttons with letters and numbers written on them.


As nice as the mouse looks for the visual, a keyboard can do everything, if your mouse is broken, use the “Tab” button and alt keys to move around.


Speakers – A little box sound comes out of.


Microphone – A stick you can speak into.

What is a card? - Start of Chapter

• Card - A piece of hardware inside of your computer that does something.
  

A video card rapidly puts data into a cable that goes to your monitor. Sound cards take sound information and send them to the speakers. A modem is a card that goes to your phone line or another Internet connection. There are many types of cards, and while installation isn’t difficult, most readers of this guide probably wont want to do it themselves.

What is a drive? - Start of Chapter

Drive – A piece of hardware used to store or get data.


Drives either take information down (write) or the thumb through it (read). Your computer identifies them by a letter. There can be more than one of a similar type of drive.

Here are some common drives:

3½Inch Floppy - Commonly called the “A” drive.


This drive reads and writes a small amount of data to a diskette. This information can then be brought elsewhere, to use on another computer. It can be both read and write. It is called a floppy drive, because the surface within the diskette is floppy.


Hard Disks - Commonly the “C” Drive.


This stores data within your computer, for usage on it alone. Your Operating system and many programs will be installed on it, as well as many files used on the computer. Additional Drives will take the next letter (D, E, etc.).


CD/DVD Drives- Commonly the “D” Drive.


There are many types of these drives. The first main points concern DVDs and CDs.


• CD -Works on CD disks.
  
• DVD - Works on both CD and DVD disks.
  

There are also several “suffixes” that describe more:

• -ROM - “Read Only Memory”. These devices can only read data, so they can only play or run a disk,
  
  -R - A CD-R or DVD-R can, in addition to reading disks, can write to special CD or DVD-R disks.
  

  These disks can be written to once, and after that are not editable.
  

  -RW - A –RW is able to write to special –RW disks, and can be changed after it is written.
  

  -RW+ - A more advanced –RW

How do I setup my computer? - Start of Chapter

Setup of a computer is a hardware issue. You need to connect everything, and then plug it all into a wall. Many systems are different; I cannot describe every intimate detail. However, anyone can do it. If you know enough not to put the square peg into the round hole, you can connect your computer.

Here are the steps to follow:

1. Find your place to set everything up.
   
   Make sure it’s stable and near a power outlet; you may want some other things for Internet usage, be it a cable setup for the internet or a phone jack.
   

   Plug a Surge Protector into said outlet.
   

   Many devices will need to be plugged in, be prepared to do so by setting this up first.
   

   Keep the computer away from the little cubbyhole you have planned to shove it into.
   

   Everyone wants their computer in some recessed hole. It’s a sound idea, it keeps it form being run into, cords from coming undone, etc. However, when you’re plugging things in, you want to see the backside of it.
   Plug in the power.
   

   Place your monitor.
   

   It’s usually heavy, so put it where you want to keep it. Take the opportunity to plug in the power, and maneuver the monitor cable (it won’t look like the outlet cable) to the back of your computer.
   

   Place keyboard, mouse, and speakers.
   

   Position these on your desk, or shelf, or cave surface however you find it easiest to move. Put all the cords back around to the back of the computer.
   

   Plug it all in.
   

   I know, there are a lot of cords. Don’t be intimidated. Many computers nowadays are color-coded. If they somehow aren’t, or you’re still concerned, realize this simple fact: Engineers long ago decided people will be stupid (Engineering Motto #2). Nearly every plug in your computer will fit only into it’s assigned hole. If you’re forcing it, stop. In fact, if you have to force it, you’re banned from my mothers’ collection of puzzles, because I think you’ll damage some pieces irrevocably. Just look in close at the labels (which is why we don’t have it in its cubby) and carefully place things in their assigned hole.
   Speakers are all audio, so many look the same, but they are all labeled. Try the one that looks most like what you want, if it doesn’t work, try again.
   Phone cords go into the “line” slot; they go to the phone “line”. The other goes to another phone, in case you want to share the phone cord.
   If you have something that can fit into multiple places (Firewire or USB cords), use any one. Most devices will just pick up one of them.
   

   Turn it on, see if it works.
   

   Don’t go congratulating yourself before you know you’ve won. Sometimes things are loose, and you have to try again. If it does work, then you’re done. If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it (Engineering Motto #3).
   

   Place into cubby
   

   When you’ve got everything working, put it all into its cubby and tidy the cords. Try not to pull any loose.
   

8 whole steps? Not complicated?! Yes, it’s really not difficult. Lots of these you’d do anyway, I’m just stating them expressly to hold you hand, walk you through it, and make life easier.

Section Three: Software

Making Your Box Do Things - Return to Contents

What is Software? - Start of Chapter

Now you know what hardware is, it’s time to meet its twin, software:

• Software - A set of instructions that run on hardware.
  

I know, that could use a bit of English between the tech-nese. Anything that does things on your computer is software. Word is software, an Operating System (probably Windows) is software. They all tell the computer to do things. They are all controlled by hardware (the computer itself, a mouse) and displayed somehow (monitor, or a printer).

What is an Operating System? - Start of Chapter

• Operating System (OS) - A basic framework through which programs run.
  

Every computer has an operating system. Many computers run Windows, but there are others, such as Macintosh, Unix, or DOS. The list goes on, but those are the one’s I’ve actually used once or twice.

How does the Operating System affect Programs? - Start of Chapter

An operating system provides a bunch of things to help programs work. It’s like a Production company. A director asks for certain things, a backdrop, chairs, outfits, and then the directors takes them and does whatever play they’re performing. Also, sometimes chairs get broken and things the production company throws a fit. Programs and the Operating System will occasionally have issues. Some can be resolved, some can’t. (I could forgive a tear in an outfit, but not shattering all the furniture). And like any good production company, they like to know whom they’re serving. Programs install, and uninstall, and Windows keeps track of it. It has a section set up to record all this, called the Windows Registry. Things don’t work when not properly installed/uninstalled. Windows wants to know.

Some basics of using windows, then:

Left Click(s) - Opens Programs, or Open files with some Program.

This does the most basic duties associated with what you’re clicking on.

Right Click - Additional information, options.

You most often get a menu giving you options. The most common ones are delete, copy, paste, cut and properties. Properties give a lot of information, most you will not want to know about.

Desktop - The big wide screen in the background when nothing is open.

This has some links, generally setup by the user(s) for programs or files they use the most. Right clicking on this, and going to properties, let’s you manipulate your display settings. This is handy to make your resolution larger, so you can see more things at once (and by the same token, making them visibly smaller) - That’s over in settings. You may want to change the picture for your background, especially if some jerk changed it to pornography; that’s under Desktop.

Taskbar - The strip at the bottom of the screen that shows all active programs, the clock, the start button, and open programs.

Start Menu - The little button on the bottom right corner that pops up a menu to just about everything with your computer.

The Programs option has links to (hopefully) all your programs in various folders.
The Control Panel leads to almost all the setting of your computer.
Help and Support launches a guide to help you solve problems.

How do I install programs? - Start of Chapter

Many people are afraid they will screw it up. If you didn’t ride the short bus to school, you can handle this one. Here are the steps:

1. Follow the onscreen instructions.
   
2. If you’re afraid you’ll screw it up, always choose the default choice.
   

That is it. It’s not confusing anymore; they almost always have a folder they want to install to, and have default choice to use. Do not be afraid. Windows will keep track of what you did, and where you put it.

How do I uninstall programs? - Start of Chapter

Here is something that many older computer users mess up. Way back when, Windows 3.1 and DOS just idly waved in the general direction of a program. Now, Windows wants to keep tabs on everything. It’s a nagging in-law. It needs to know when you’ve arrived, when you leave, and what you’re doing while in their house.

Do not, I repeat, do not; just delete the folder a program runs in. Windows will still think it has that program. It’ll slow your computer down over time, and take up extra space. Instead, go find your installation disks, open them up, and follow the directions the uninstaller gives you. There may even be a shortcut in the start menu. Use them to uninstall the software.

Section Four: Files and Directories

I Want to Finish This Later - Return to Contents

What is a file? - Start of Chapter

• File – Data a computer uses.
  

Files are used to return to data after a computer is turned off. Specific programs use specific files. Double clicking on a file will usually open a file in its default player. Multiple programs can open some file types. You can change the program that opens a given file type on a double click by going to “File Types” under the “Folder Options” on the control panel. Some files do not have an associated program, and must be opened from within the program.

A file must be expressly saved. Don’t forget. Save often if you’re working on a file. Even if you plan to delete it afterwards, save it frequently, so you wont have to retype it (like half this guide – hey, I’m not perfect either).

Why and when to should I use folders? - Start of Chapter

Some people feel folders are bad. Computers all use numbers, so folders are used to help humans keep organized. Without a folder, you’d be stuck sorting through all your files at once. My windows file has nearly 9000 files, so imagine sorting through that alone.

Use folders, and use them appropriately. They’re there for you.

1. Name your folders
   
   Never expect to understand what’s in a folder if you don’t name it. Use names anyone can understand.
   

   Put all projects in separate files
   

   If you have multiple files for one job, project, or category (School work, Tax Sheets, etc.) make a separate folder for them. Don’t just dump them anywhere.
   

   Know your scope
   

   Scope is, roughly, knowing what you want to do with a file over time. Files for only a day or two may want to be saved to the desktop, so you know to delete them. If it’s only going to be there a week or two then it might be appropriate to save it to some default folder (like Microsoft Word has) or to the My Documents folder. Files that are going to be kept for longer should probably get a sub-folder somewhere to live in. Try and keep your similar files together (Word files, Excel, Paint, whatever it is you use).
   

   Consider transportation.
   

   If you’re going to be transporting a file to another computer, besides going to “Save As” and writing it to another, transportable drive, consider finding a spot in the My Documents folder, as it’s much easier to drag it to a another drive from there (by opening My Documents, and opening my computer and dragging the file to your disk).

What should I do about partitions? - Start of Chapter

If you don’t know what a partition is, then skip this section. Now, for all you old schools who run around breaking up a physical drive into multiple parts, we’re gonna chat for a moment.

There is one reason to partition a drive, and that’s to compress data. One partition is all the excuse. I don’t recommend it, as it slows down getting all the data from that drive, but if you need to do it, more power to you.

As for the rest of you who run around making partitions left and right, realize what you’re doing. You’re basically finding some arbitrary part of your house, and drawing a line. To get around the line, your computer scrambles out a window, and enters in the back door, gets the data it wants, and walks back around. It’s a waste of space (since you can’t put furniture on that line in the sand) and it slows things down. It also makes many optimizations very difficult, or impossible. Use folders. Folders do the same job of separating data without all the hassle. Different programs are all, still, programs. Don’t be afraid to have a programs folder with just about everything. You can find better divisions. Utilities, Games, and a broad Applications folder are all good choices. It’s more important to make different ways to get to a program than to put programs in different places. Once again, your computer doesn’t actually use a folder name; it has some number to identify things. All that organization is for you.

Section Five: Internet

Because Information Is Good. - Return to Contents

How do I connect to the Internet? - Start of Chapter

Two things are required.

1. The first is to have an Internet Service Provider
   

   • Internet Service Provider (ISP) - This is some company you pay to help you get unto the web.
     

   The second is a physical connection.
   

   Some service providers use the phone line, and so only require plugging your computer into a phone jack. Others have different sorts of lines that also hook up to your computer somehow. Your ISP should be able to tell you how to hook everything up.

What is a cookie? - Start of Chapter

• Cookie – A type of file stored on your computer by a website.
  

So, out on the Internet, thousands of people access sites everyday. Sometimes a site wants to retain information about the users who frequent their site. Say, your favorite type of moustache comb. Now, consider a hundred people visiting this site. They can probably fit all that in their web space (which is just like your computer’s space). But now picture the millions of people, and all that information on their moustache combs. It’d never fit! That is just too many combs! So instead someone came up with the idea of a cookie. Cookies store information about you on your computer. Generally they include things like a username, popular purchases, but occasionally they’ll make what sites you’ve visited or contain other unwanted data.

Internet explorer can clear all the cookies you have, although you might have to retype some information at some sites (Ebay, Angelfire, etc.). Go to the Tools menu, and Internet options. There should be a button for “Delete Cookies”. This same screen can erase your history, a collection of all the sites you’ve visited lately; and also all files that have been retained after visiting them on the Internet. The privacy tab can alter how you deal with cookies.

What are downloads? - Start of Chapter

Downloads are files you specifically take off the Internet and put unto your computer. You are always asked if you want to accept a file. If you didn’t ask for it, you don’t want it. This is a way for you to get software updates, new features, games, or other fun things. Be aware that all viruses are simply an application, so don’t download from shady Internet sites, or random pop-ups. There are a few applications you probably will want, that are available freely online. The two headliners that come to mind are Macromedia’s Flash and Adobe’s Acrobat Reader, which allow you to view these types of files online.

There are also other names for some software you can find online:

Freeware - Software that is distributed freely.


It is totally free, and made to be given to anyone.


Shareware - Software that is distributed with a time limit before it must be paid for, or with reduced features available in the full version.


This is to see if you want the product before buying it.


Spyware - These programs that, in addition to their regular functions, gather information about you, sites you frequent, and send it over the Internet to their parent company.


Spyware programs never announce themselves as such. If you’re really nervous, you may want to visit McAfee or Norton (to name a few) and look into spyware blockers, which may come with their anti-virus software.


Warez - Illegal programs used to open and run popular software.

Who is a hacker or what is a virus? - Start of Chapter

Hacker - A person who tries to do mean things to your computer and data.


This is the modern definition of a Hacker.


Virus – A program that disrupts the normal functioning of your computer.


All viruses are programs, often developed by Hackers.

Chances are, if you haven’t downloaded anything recently, you do not have a virus or other problem. It is extremely slim that you could have a bad file that you didn’t download yourself. Many come in emails from friends who have gotten a virus, and it emails itself to people in their address book. A user then opens them, and it messes up your computer. Anti-virus software (which I mentioned under Spyware above) can be very beneficial. Other options are very reduced, including the reformat, which is listed under the troubleshooting section. Chances are you will not need anti-virus software if you’re careful. Most ISP’s delete dangerous emails, and prevent ones so infectious they start when an email is opened. The rest are generally seen with some sort of phony message and an email download attachment. Know your friends. I’ve spotted two viruses based on the out of character message they emailed me.

What is Spam? - Start of Chapter

Spam – Any unwanted email is called Spam.


To stop Spam, don’t open your email. Better yet, don’t have an email address.

What is File Sharing? - Start of Chapter

File sharing is exactly what it sounds like. People can freely share different files online, allowing access to just about anything in the digital world. All modern services are “Pier to Pier” or “P2P” file sharing programs. These programs, unlike the old Napster, are legal. However, sharing many copyrighted files makes one liable for a lawsuit, and voiding a license of software is illegal. It is unlikely occasional users will be tracked down by interested parties, but not impossible.

How can I avoid pornography online? - Start of Chapter

Besides setting the privacy settings of your ISP, or browser to that of a seven year-old, try refining Internet searches. Use more specific words, and certainly less suggestive ones. Nothing is fail safe, though. If your really can’t stand finding porn, don’t go unto the Internet.

How can I find pornography? - Start of Chapter

You’re one of the guys riding the short bus and trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. Someone should take away your computer.

Section Six: Troubleshooting and Technical Support

Because Computers Break - Return to Contents

What if my Hardware isn’t working? - Start of Chapter

When describing things, if someone says it might be hardware issue, you have some things to look for:

Is everything plugged in?

Don’t wind up realizing that the cord got unplugged (or never was in the first place), check that first.

Did anything happen to it recently?

If you got it wet, dropped it, poured acid on it; there is a chance that it won’t work, or work correctly.

Does it work all the time, or some of the time?

Sometimes a specific program will interfere with some hardware. They just wont get along. Sometimes you have to deal with it, sometimes you can separate the unruly children, and sometimes you need to go buy a new child.

If it’s not some minor problem, you may need to go buy a new one. This applies to all pieces of hardware, from mice to monitors.

What is wrong with my Operating System? - Start of Chapter

Probably nothing. Machines only do what you tell them(Engineering Motto #4). Sometimes thing go sour, believe me, it happens. If some problem occurs, and everything is plugged in (if the keyboard and mouse aren’t plugged in; that could be it) it may be a problem with the program and operating system. What should you do?

1. Close the Program - Sometimes some strange error happens and a program malfunctions. Try closing it and reopening it to see if it still works.
   
2. Restart the Computer - If things still don’t work, restart. Restarting is a lot like when you organize a drawer. You were trying to put this there and that there, and all of a sudden everything is everywhere. You just put everything back in place, open the drawer, and try again.

Why wont this program work? - Start of Chapter

If you know it’s neither the hardware nor the Operating System, and a program is still not working, your options are limited. Check the manual to your programs, under troubleshooting. If your problem isn’t listed and explained, then you may have to call or email their technical support. Only people from that company may understand what the problem is, chances are some third party Technical Support won’t be able to do much.

How can I get more space on my computer? - Start of Chapter

Freeing more space can drastically help your computer. Try and always have 10% of your drive free. Your computer has many ways to check this. Under my Computer, you can right click on the drive to get a pie chart. Freeing more space can drastically help your computer. Try and always have 10% of your drive free. You can find a program to remove temporary programs; on the start menu, under the accessories folder, and then inside the system tools folder, go to “Disk Cleanup” and select the drive that needs help. If you still need to remove more data, try uninstalling some programs you don’t use, or don’t need to use. Games often take up the most, and word processors the least.

Why is my computer so slow? - Start of Chapter

This one is complicated. It may be because your hardware is just too outdated. It’s not as fast as newer things and just can’t perform well. However, if you’re having problems with programs that ran fine before, it may very well be a software issue. Here are a few ideas to try:

1. Check your disk space.
   
   See above. You should run faster with more free space.
   

   Defragment your Computer.
   

   When your computer uses data, it saves it to the hard drive. All information on the drive is stored in little pieces, a lot like a cubby. So when it saves a few files, it goes and shoves a few cubbies full of things, then maybe a few more, then a few more. Then, for whatever reason, one in the middle gets deleted. So your computer goes to that cubby, and empties it all out. Files are created and deleted constantly, and they all take up the same space. Eventually, you’ve got a ton of spaces where data was, and nothing else fits in many of the really small spaces. Maybe you installed a new program, and use it often. All it’s data in the back of your shelf of cubby holes. You may use it all the time, but your computer has to walk all the way back there to get to the data.

   Well, there is a solution to all those spaces, and it’s called defragmenting. Windows sits down and sorts through each cubbyhole, first organizing it all by what you use, and ensuring all the data is fit together with no gaps. Your computer runs faster, and has more space! Hurrah! You find this miracle program on the start menu, under the accessories folder, and then inside the system tools folder.

   Be aware, especially if you’ve never run this before, that it may take several hours. Be sure you don’t need to use the computer right away. Also, if you don’t have much space or it’s really bad, your computer may freeze up. Just restart, and try again. If that still doesn’t work, try the next step.
   

   Check your disk for errors.
   

   Sometimes data get mashed around on a drive and just doesn’t work anymore. When you check your drive's space (See “Check Your Disk Space”) there is a tab called “tools”. Go to the error checking section, and hit the check now button and start the disk checker.

   This will go through and repair (or delete) damaged files, making sure you can use as much of your disk as possible.
   

   Keep programs from running at the same time.
   

   It should be fairly apparent that running with many programs open at the same time will slow your computer down. Running AOL, Word, and Solitaire may be using too much of your computers space. Unlike the Physical space, RAM is used for temporary data, and information in the RAM is generally lost if your computer unexpectedly quits. Programs all use some, until finally you’re out of RAM and you computer slows down tremendously. Keep in mind not all programs are running openly. The little window on the taskbar (with the clock) may show you some of the programs running in the background. They usually make their associated applications run faster, by pre-loading some resources they use. Expand the bar, and close some programs. It may help if you shut down many of them. To prevent them from starting up in the future, try looking into preferences of the associated programs, and shutting off their “Start when Windows Starts” or “Quick Start” options. You can also check the “Start up” folder of your computer, and delete the shortcuts to different programs there.
   

   Reformat your Hard Drive
   

   This is a big chore. Despite good maintenance, your computer will gradually clog up with files it no longer uses. Formatting deletes everything off your drive. All your files would have to be put unto disk(s), the operating system and programs reinstalled. If nothing else helps, and your computer is fairly old, you may want to talk to a technical support personnel about having this done.

   Don’t rush into this, it may be your hardware is just too old, and they may be able to counsel you as to whether some new parts (or just a new computer) would be advisable instead.

Is there any basic maintenance I should do? - Start of Chapter

Yes.

• Defragment (listed above, #2) your drive roughly once a month.

• Check through your folders for unused files and delete those you don’t want every month or every other month.

• Scan the disk for errors (listed above, #3) every 3 months.

  This will not solve all your problems, but it will help a lot.
  

• There is one more thing you may consider using. Microsoft’s factory recommends you format your drive (above, #5) and reinstall windows every 6 months. I don’t know anyone who does it this often, but you may find the time and effort involved worth it.

Why do I still have problems if I follow your guide? - Start of Chapter

I’m probably better at computers than you, and I run into problems. So understand, it happens to everyone. Chalk it up with death and taxes. I can’t cover every problem. I didn’t cover many topics (drivers, protocols, .dll files, to name a few) because I felt they were more complicated than this guide covers, and that just most people wont understand it all. If you’d like to understand it, please, do. The desire for knowledge is the first step to fixing things yourself.

I hate technical support. - Start of Chapter

That’s not a question. Look, technical support people are just like those priests sent out to save a 3rd World nation with a bucket of syringes. They don’t have any tools, they don’t speak the native language, and they don’t know what’s wrong. The fact that they sit up in a tree, dodging lions all day while trying to diagnose the local problems. They’re saints. Overworked, irate, angry saints. If you could do this job, you probably would. They’re there to help you. Don’t argue with them or berate them.

How should I talk to the technical support people? - Start of Chapter

Often they will have a list of questions, and then they’ll look at your computer. Answer their questions as best you can, and if you don’t remember the specific name of something, just describe it. Since so many computer words sound the same, it can be very misleading if you confuse some words. Many take notes on what they’re doing and what they’ve found. Sometimes technical support personnel like to talk, and then it’s fine. If they don’t respond much, let them be. Sometimes the conversation will lapse, as they have to think and figure out what’s going on. Don’t be offended.

Should I pay non-professional technical support? - Start of Chapter

I’m not a professional, but I do like money. If I spend an hour in my free time, frankly I don’t really expect anything. But if I’m busy, spend an extended time fixing something, or have to frequently return to work on things, then I do recommend giving them something. It is a job that people are paid to do. If someone spends valuable time helping you out, show your appreciation. It encourages them to help you and others in the future. Remember, if they didn’t do it, you would have to pay a far more expensive professional to help.

Section Seven: Glossary

Because I Used a Lot of Big Words - Return to Contents

Hardware - A physical pile of metal that does some work.
Monitor - The thing that looks most like your TV.
Computer - The big box that probably hums a bit.
Card - A piece of hardware inside of your computer that does something.
Drive – A piece of hardware used to store or get data.
Software - A set of instructions that run on hardware.
Operating System (OS) - A basic framework through which programs run.
File – Data a computer uses.
Internet Service Provider (ISP) - This is some company you pay to help you get unto the web.
Cookie – A type of file stored on your computer by a website.
Download – A file taken from the Internet.
Virus – A program that disrupts the normal functioning of your computer.
Spam – Any unwanted email.

Engineering Mottoes:

For Those Who Wish to Understand Engineers.

Motto One: If you can look it up, you know it.
Motto Two: People will be stupid.
Motto Three: If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.
Motto Four: Machines only do what you tell them.