Hasbro Office Meeting Part 2
May 30, 2000

A group of CEOs are sitting around a conferance table sipping a cup o' joe while pondering the fate of the Transformer universe.

CEO1: We need a new idea.  Something totally different from what we've done.

CEO2: We could make the TFs be appliances!

CEO3: Nope!  Already been done on some Message Board.  I propose my own idea: FARM WARS!

CEO1: Farm wars?

CEO3: Yesssssssss.  With the movie Chicken Run coming out, we'll make bundles.  We'll have the Farmicons vs. the Tractorbots!

CEO2: Sounds good!  But what's the story going to be?

CEO3: The Farmicons will be the villains.  The Tractorbots will be the Heroes.

CEO2: Wait!  That would have the organics as the bad guys.  Isn't that totally off from what we taught in Plant, er, Beast Machines?

CEO3: Wait, let me explain.  The Farmicons will be led by Megabull.  He's a bull.  His men will be a cow, a chicken, a sheep, and a mule.  Their names will be Cowpie, Cluckwave, Sheepalator, and Wild Ass!  Their activation code would be, "Farmerize!"

Then, the Tractobots will be led by Harvestimus.  He's a huge combine harvestor.  His men will be a Tractor, a lawnmower, and an electirc plow.  Their names will be Tractox, Grasstrap, and Plowor!  They'll basically act like Optimus, Rhinox, Rattrap, and Cheetor.  Then, they all combine to make a GIANT COMBINE HARVESTER!  Their activation code would be, "Gas us up!"

Instead of having the Matrix, they'll say stuff like, "By the Farmhouse!  Or even, by the Butchery!"

CEO2: Great!  I love it.  We'll make a lot of money.  But what about weapons?

CEO1: That's right, FOXKIDS said that Brat, er, Beast Machines was too Violant.

CEO3: I though of that.  The leader of the Farmicons, Megabull, will have a fusion cannon on his arm that shoots eggs!  And his men do similar things.  Cluckwave is to be based on Soundwave.  Instead of tapes, he'll lay eggs that give birth to little versions of him: the chickbots!  I guess, you can say that all of their weapons will be food.

CEO1: Wonderful!  Foxkids would love that!

CEO3: And the Vegetarians would too.  In season 5, we'll...

CEO2: Wait!  Season 5?

CEO3:  We got permission to do 10 seasons of Farm Wars.  First season will be the Tractobots running in fear from the Farmicons.  Season 2 will have them learning to transform.  And so on.  Season 5 will be where we introduce the Planticons!  They'll be like Botanica, except that they don't transform.  They're just alive and strive for peace.  They will be our real heroes.  All the Vegetarians would love them.

CEO2: I know one already!

CEO3: And of course, we'll end the show with a big bang with the giant transformer Barnicron!  We'll devote an entire show to him transforming.  The Grain Silo will be his gun that shoots wheat!

CEO1: I can't wait!  How are they going to defeat him?

CEO3: The Planticons will convince them all to get along and they live happily ever after.  No one is to die in the episode and we are not to increase cast members beyond 10.

CEO1: Cool!  Thumbs up!

Bob SKir walks in, "Oooo!  Farm Wars!  Great!  Who's to handle this project?

CEO3: You!  And Wolfman is to not help you at all.  We want absolutley no references to any TF show or mythos.  Don't ever watch Beast Wars or Transformer or even Beast Machines, it will hinder your creative skills.

Bob Skir: I love you man!  Thanks for caring!

CEO3: And best of all, you will play Farmer Bob in the show!

Bob Skir, punching in the air: Yes!  Finally, the recognition I deserve!

CEO3: The entire show will also be made by Mainframe.  But we can't afford the high qualtiy we got for Beast Wars, so we told them that the lowest form of CGI is okay with us.

Bob Skir: No!  Just let me do it.  We can make it stop motion!  Or better yet, just make clay figures and I'll control them.  It will be cool!

CEO1: You da man, Bob!  Why didn't we get you for Beast Wars?  It would've been better with you at the stearing wheel!