*****

Chapter 7:

Dawn woke up from what seemed to be a very restless sleep. She found that she had been sleeping on the floor of her living room. The bright light outside indicated that it was already morning and fairly late. Dawn got up on wobbly legs and looked around. Anya and Xander were also knocked out. They seemed to be in the same state that Dawn had been in. she racked her brain for an explanation, but the events were a little blurry.

All she remembered that was concrete was the fact that it had something to do with Willow. She walked into the hallway and saw that the door was thrown off of its hinges and lay in a heap on the ground. Other then that the house seemed pretty normal. Dawn walked back into the living room and tried to wake up Anya and Xander.

"Xander! Anya! Wake up!" Dawn yelled as loud as she possibly could.

The two adults stirred, but didn't wake up. After fifteen minutes of doing this repeatedly Dawn decided that it was a lost cause. They would wake up when they woke up. She was hungry and her stomach was telling her to retreat to the kitchen.

Stranger things had happened in the Summer's household and this would definitely not be the last. Dawn decided a long time ago not to let it get to her as much. Besides a person had to eat. She walked off to the kitchen to fix herself a sandwich.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Blankets covered the windows of the car, but Spike could tell that it was early in the afternoon. Eleven or maybe even noon. Buffy was driving and Giles was getting some rest in the back seat. After finding out that Willow's 'men' were after them, Giles and Buffy decided that the best course of action would be to keep driving straight to Sunnydale. Giles had stopped driving at dawn and Buffy took over the wheel. She wasn't a very good driver, but she was okay.

Spike could hear Giles's gentle breathing and the sound of Buffy lightly tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. She had the radio on but not that loud. She was listening to KISFM, which was driving Spike crazy. If he had to hear that new Justin Timberlake song one more time he would surely stake himself.

Spike had tried to get some rest, but he had weird sleeping patterns of sleeping in the night and being awake in the day. He wondered when that had started. Probably sometime after the chip and during his whole thing with Buffy. He was well rest but a little jittery. Unlike how he had hoped he did not have a dreamless sleep. No dreams of Buffy, but more memories. The ones that seemed to pop up the most were the ones of him killing the slayers.

Spike couldn't help but think that it was some sort of message that his subconscious was trying to send him. Although since having the soul he had been more broody. He had sworn up and down that he would not turn into a Peaches Junior. He knew that he wasn't meant to hurt Buffy and just because he was remembering killing the slayers didn't mean he was going to hurt Buffy. It meant that he thought that Buffy didn't deserve to be around someone who had killed girls just like her.

As Spike was thinking about this he noticed that they had come to a stop. "Whas going on?" Spike asked Buffy.

"It's time for Giles to wake up. He got some sleep at least twelve hours and now it's his turn to drive the rest of the way." Buffy stated as she climbed into the back of the car.

"Oi dontcha think that the Watcher should sleep?"

"Yes, but we have to keep driving. We don't know what Willow is planning."

"I could drive."

"And die from sun exposure?"

"Right keep forgettin that this damn car doesn't have the black paint."

"It's no big deal. We have like only four hours till we reach Sunnydale."

"Did you call home? Check to see if the bit's okay."

"No. I should do that though. Giles wake up!" Buffy said when she reached the third row of seats.

"Huh?" Giles said rather sleepily.

"It's time for you to drive. It's only like four more hours. I stopped to get gas and some food."

"Oh yes drive. I'll pump the gas and you can go in and get something to eat." Giles said as he sat up and put on his glasses.

"Okay what would you like?"

"Nothing. I'm not that hungry to eat junk."

"Okay I'm going to get some food. Would you like anything Spike?"

Spike had been trying to go back to sleep rather unsuccessfully. He quirked his head up when he heard his name. "Huh?"

"Food do you want any?"

"I could go for a beer."

"I'll see what I can do." Buffy said.

"I'm going now so you might want to cover yourself with the blanket."

"Right." Spike said as he draped the blanket over himself and Buffy and Giles walked outside of the car. Spike decided that he should try sleeping again.

Buffy left Giles to the gas while she went inside the little store to buy some greasy goodness. Buffy walked into the door and looked around. There was mostly chips and candy, but there were some hot dogs at the other end of the store. Buffy walked over and got one putting on only ketchup. She grabbed a Coca-Cola and looked over at the beer section. She wasn't too sure of what to get. Spike didn't seem like the Budweiser type of guy. She grabbed a Heineken and went to the cash register.

The clerk ran up the stuff and then asked, "Can I see some id?"

"Huh? I'm being carded?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Wow weird. I don't have an id."

"Well then I can't let you buy the alcohol

"All right just give me the Coke and the hot dog."

"That'll be three dollars and ten cents." Buffy pulled a five out of her wallet and handed it to the clerk. The clerk gave Buffy her change and she walked out of the store. Giles was walking over to the store to pay for the gas.

"Bloody machine wouldn't take my credit card." He said to Buffy as he passed her.

"Hey can you get Spike's beer. They wouldn't let me because I didn't have any id."

"What does he drink?"

"I don't know. Never seen him with a beer. Always scotch or bourbon. Think British."

"Heineken. Right maybe I'll get one."

"You're driving."

"Yes well I'm under a little stress lately."

"Okay I'm calling the house."

"Okay."

Giles walked inside and Buffy took out her cell phone. She had gotten her and Dawn one when Dawn started school this year. The high school had been rebuilt and who knows what kind of freaky things could happen. She wanted Dawn to be prepared. She went to the speed dial that said home and pressed the button that said call. The phone rang four times before Dawn answered it. Buffy frowned. Dawn should be in school.

Dawn was in the middle of eating when she heard the phone ring. At first she let in ring thinking that Anya or Xander would pick it up, but then she remembered that they were asleep. She walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" Dawn said. There was silence at the other end before Dawn heard Buffy's voice.

"Dawn? Why aren't you in school? Where is Xander and Anya?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not in school because Willow and Amy came over for a nice little chat. They sucked information from our brains and that made us fall asleep. I missed school because I wasn't up. Anya and Xander are still sleeping off the effects of their brain suck in the living room."

"God are you okay?"

"Yeah. Willow seemed a little hesitant on hurting us. She just got the information that she needed and left."

Buffy was quiet for a minute before saying. "Well we should be home in about four hours. Be careful during that time."

"I will. How's Spike?"

"Well he's a little crazed. Kind of sick looking. Cowardly and unSpike like. It's all a part of the process. He should be back to normal soon."

"Physically or mentally?"

"Physically he'll be right as rain soon. Mentally... I don't think he'll every be fully back to normal. He's got a lot of guilt to go through."

"Hopefully he's not a mini Angel cause I gotta tell you that that would just be terrible. Spike all broody all the time. Doesn't fit."

"Yeah I know what you mean. That would just be scary. I don't think that he'll be like that though."

"Good because I got enough of that when Angel was around. That whole feel sorry for me thing is a lot less attractive then he thinks."

"I think that's the point. Try not to get involved with anyone because of the pain and worry about becoming an evil bloodsucking fiend."

"Yeah well he should have stopped it when you guys were together."

"He had a tortured past."

"Well it was torture to listen to him. And what was with all the whispering. I could barely hear him some times."

"Yeah well let's not talk about my ex boyfriends."

"Yeah cause that conversation could go on and on. First Mister Feel Sorry For Me, then Mister Player, then Mister Farm Boy Military Man That Leaves At The Drop Of A Dime. You can pick the real winners."

"Again we're not in that conversation. Take care of yourself till I get home. I love you."

"Yeah love you too. Tell Spike I miss him and I hope that he gets better. Hurry home." Dawn said as she hung up the phone. Buffy ended the call and walked back to the car.

She opened the door to the car and steeped inside. Spike was still under the blanket but lifted it when he heard the door close.

"Oi? No beer?"

"They wouldn't let me buy it. They carded me. It was odd. I've never been carded before."

"Never bought alcohol fore ave you, Slayer."

"That would be a big fat yes. Giles went inside and got it for you. He was complaining about his credit card or something."

"The machine wouldn't take it. I could hear 'im rantin an' ravin bout it."

"Well he had to go inside and I told him to get you a beer. You hungry?"

"A little. I could go for some more blood. Is there any?"

"Just a couple of packets left. Should last."

"Right then."

"Do you want one?"

"Wait for the beer. Alcohol gives pig blood flavor."

"Oh okay that was a little gross that I just got tips on how to prepare pig blood."

"Happens when you live on the Hellmouth."

"Yeah well I guess so. Are you feeling better today?"

"If by better you mean less hungry then yes. Though the mental part is still a lil' foggy."

"Well Dawn sends her regards and said that she misses you."

"You talked to the bit. Shouldn't she be in school?"

"What are you her dad? Willow attacked the house last night."

"Is Dawnie okay?" there was some much concern and worry in his voice and in his eyes that Buffy really thought that Spike could be a worried parent.

"Yeah. She just pulled the brain sucking thing that that guy did on you."

Spike let out a sigh if relief that was foreign to most people who weren't parents or talking about loved ones. "Thas good. Wait till I get my hands on Red."

"Cant' do much with the chip and the fact that Xander probably won't let you hurt her."

"'M gonna talk some sense inta her. I mean I really liked Glenda and all, but Red's takin it to extremes."

"Yeah I know. What with her running around Sunnydale like a mad woman none of us have been able to grieve. There was a burial, but no real grieving. Couldn't break down when the world is in jeopardy."

"Sounds tough."

"It is. I haven't been able to talk about it for fear that someone would break down and that would put us in danger. I mean we were all very close with Tara. She was one of us and she was the most loving and caring person there ever was."

"That she was. Didn't judge or anythin like that. She knew people."

"It's hard to think that she's gone. Just as hard as it is to think that Willow is the new Big Bad. It's like when my mom died. I just couldn't believe that it happened."

"Well it doesn't help when you don't get to grieve. Puttin it behind you might seem good at the time, but you havta except it sooner or later. Sooner is always better then later."

"I'm going to ask you a question and you have to be totally honest with me." Buffy said out of nowhere.

"Okay." Spike said. He was curious to know what Buffy wanted to know.

"Did you get your soul?"

"How did you know?"

"Anya said that champions have to have a soul. Is that what you did while you were gone?"

"Yes." Spike said in a whisper. "It was s'posed ta be who told you." Spike said whiningly.

"Did you do it for me?" Buffy said. She had to know. She knew the answer but she had to hear him say it.

"Well not just for you. Course you were the main reason I did it. I did it for everyone I cared bout and myself as well."

"But did you do it for me? Was I the person that made you realize that you wanted it?"

"Course Summers! Whatcha think that I jus' woke up one day and said ' Oi! Why don't I go out and get a soul? Why don't I face bloody impossible trials jus' for the heck of it.'"

"I wasn't sure. I mean I didn't know that..." Buffy wasn't sure of how to finish that sentence. The truth was that she just wanted to hear him say it. To finally know someone that would do something so life altering just for her. "I just wanted to hear you say that you did it for me." Buffy said. Might as well be honest to someone that knows when you lie.

"Well then thas the truth innit. Better then the lies you spew out sometimes."

"I thought I might as well tell you the truth. That and I couldn't think up as lie fast enough."

"Your honesty kills me.

The driver door opened and Giles climbed in.

"Stupid wankers! Bloody Americans! Now I know why I wanted to go back to England." Giles ranted.

"Giles are you okay?"

"It took forever to just get some gas. I think that that clerk was high was something. He asked me for my id."

"Wow I was sure that he would just give you the beer. You're like fifty."

"Thank you for that not-so-charming complement."

"Did you get the beer?" Spike asked hoping not set of a time bomb.

"Yes after I showed him my id twice. He said that he had to be extra careful because I'm foreign. Something about homeland safety."

"But you're British." Spike said.

"And you're telling me this. I know that guy was just..."

"On something." Spike finished.

"Yes." Giles said as he started the car and opened his beer.

"Not ta be rude or anythin but I was really kinda hopin that I'd get a beer." Spike said.

"Oh right. Here you go." Giles said handing Spike a beer.

"Thanks mate." Spike said as he popped off the cap to his beer. "Hand me a packet-o-blood will you, luv." Spike said.

"Sure." Buffy said and then tossed the blood to him. Spike opened the blood and poured his beer into it. "Okay that has to be the grossest thing that I've ever seen." Buffy said as Spike shook up the blood and beer.

"No you've seen me drink it and thas gotta be worse."

"I was over-exaggerating."

"Oh." Spike said as he lifted the packet up to his lips and drank the blood.

"You're right though. Seeing you drink the blood is worse." Buffy said as she looked away from Spike as he drank.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dawn was watching Passions. She had started to like the show ever since she was forced to watch it with Spike and her mom. Everyday where she didn't have school or didn't go to school she watch it. The show was on commercial and Dawn decided to get up and get something to drink. Just as she was about to enter the dining room she heard a loud moan. She ran back into the living room to see Anya and Xander waking up.

"Uh! Did we drink last night?" Xander asked groggily.

"No remember Willow came over and did that information sucking thing." Anya said.

"Right. Where's Dawn?" Xander asked when he was able to sit up.

"Right here. I woke up a little while ago."

"Really how come you didn't try to wake us up?" Anya said

"I did, but you guys were dead asleep. Regenerating or something." Dawn said.

"Yeah well whatever it was I feel like I did yesterday night before Willow should up." Xander said.

"Yeah are you hungry or tired?" Dawn said.

"Actually I have to go to the bathroom." Xander said as he got up and walked to the stairs.

"That was so weird last night. Did you feel like something was being sucked out of you? Like you were being drained of all your energy?" Anya asked Dawn.

"Yeah it was like I was doing a lot of exercise or more correctly like I did exercise and the effects were barely taking effect at that time."

"So did Buffy call at all?"

"She called a little while ago to say that she was like four hours away."

"What did she say about Spike?"

"That he was a little loopy and that he was not Spike looking."

"Well that's understandable. He probably went a long time without blood and that would make any vampire look sickly."

"She didn't say if she knew that he had a soul or not. She probably didn't have time to ask him yet."

"I think we all know that he does have it. How else could he be a champion?"

"Maybe you didn't hear..."

"Dawn I've been a vengeance demon for quite some time now. I think that if I did hear the wrong version that eventually I'd hear the right one. Besides it's just known in the demon circles. D'Hoffran made sure that we knew about champions."

"Then I guess we know. Although I think that Spike would have told us."

"Maybe he didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. You know make sure that it was possible before telling. It's obvious that he has found a way."

"Yeah isn't it great. I didn't want to be too gleeful when around Xander. He has that thing were he hates any vampires or demons."

"Hey! Not all demons."

"Right I was just... you know what I mean."

"Yeah I guess so. And I do agree with you that it's great. No more drowning in the river in Egypt for Buffy. She has know reason to hold back now."

"Yeah and it's gotta be good for Spike too. He probably remembers some stuff about his life before the undead."

"Well right now it isn't all good. He's reliving thing he did while he was a vampire. A cruel, heartless vampire. Stuff like that will haunt him for awhile."

"But he'll be close to the same afterwards, right?"

"Yes very much so. There will be a fusion of the nature of his soul and the man he turned out to be. Should be interesting to see."

Anya and Dawn thought about what he would be like before Anya felt her stomach growl.

"Well I guess I better eat. Did you eat?"

"Yes I made myself a sandwich."

"And the house is still fully intact?" Anya said in mock seriousness.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! That's very funny Anya. It was only one very small fire, but I'll never live it down. I'm going back to watching Passions."

"Fine I'll get some food and come over here and watch it with you. Although we really should do some research."

"We can save that for later. We were brain sucked for crying out loud. We deserve a little time off."

"That's what you said last night when we watched those videos. We didn't get much done and I think that we should really started searching."

"Yeah after the show."

"You know you're right."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Giles how much longer?" Buffy said for seemed like the hundredth time. Giles was starting to get annoyed and Spike was already there. Buffy was not the on the road type that was very evident.

"A half-hour or so." Giles said. He was remaining vague on purpose and it was doing nothing to help Buffy's mood.

"That's what you said an hour ago." Buffy whined.

"Well it was true then and it's true now. Just be patient Buffy."

"I hate the road."

"Everyone loves the road, pet." Spike said. He was getting a headache from listening to her whine, but he would never tell her that. For some reason even when she was giving him a headache he still thought that she was the best woman out there. Love's Bitch and he knew it.

"Yeah well I'm not everyone I'm Buffy. These blankets are preventing us from playing any kind of road game and it's hot in here."

"You could always take the blankets down and I could be Mister Pile of Dust." Spike said rather snidely.

"Geez maybe Mister Cranky would fit better."

"Jus' not used to all the noise."

Buffy gave him a curious look.

"'Aven't been around people in a while." Spike explained.

"Oh. Sorry I'm a giving you a headache or something?"

"Somethin to that effect."

"Oh poor Spiky. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah 's jus' the noise is bothering my head. There's a lot of stuff already going on in there."

"Like what?"

"Guilty feelin's for things 've done a long time ago. 'S all very unorganized."

"It will be like that for a while. You'll just have to learn to deal with it. Come to grips that you've done those things, but have changed." Giles said from the front seat. He couldn't offer anything more then that. The only vampire with a soul was Angel and no one really knew how he got passed that. According to information gathered it took him quite some time.

"Yeah well 's startin to subside, but innit jus' the guilty thins. I mean mostly it is that, but then there's my mind sayin that I should be doing thins one way instead of the other. Like Buffy should be this close."

Buffy looked a little shocked and angry.

"Sorry luv. Got nothin to do with you, I don't think."

"It's the nature of your soul. The things that made you who you were before becoming a vampire. We all know that William was a little..."

"Poofish." Spike said.

"Well to put it in terms you'll understand yes. I was going for gentlemanly. I've read of how people acted in your time and I know that you were more of the quiet, stay at home be nice to others type of person. That's just how it will be."

"That makes sense. Do you want me to move?" Buffy said. "

No see thas the problem. I don't want you to move because we're far apart as I can see, but part of me is sayin she's too close. 'S like a battlefield. A great debate that no one can solve. I mean things are just so... unsorted."

"Okay well while you're having the great debate of 2003 I'll be here in this incredibly hot car. Are you sure there isn't a short cut?" Buffy asked Giles.

"Yes Buffy there isn't a short cut."

"Well what time is it?"

"It's close to four thirty."

"How far are we from the house?"

"I already told you that it would be an hour or so." Giles said in as calm a tone as he could manage. He could feel the repressed angry building up as he talked to her. She may be twenty-two, but she acted like a bloody child.

"Well at least it will be close to dinner time when we get there. I'm hungry."

"Welcome to some of the blood." Spike said.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I could go for some chicken."

"Night's approaching." Spike said out of nowhere.

"Yeah it's almost five."

"Right. Night is... right."

"Spike what's wrong."

"Nothin'."

"Are you sure? You don't seem too happy about nighttime. Supposed to be a vampires favorite time of day."

"It's always worse in the night then in the day." Spike said expecting Buffy and Giles to know what that meant.

Buffy was unsure of what to say to him. Giles obviously preferred to stay silent.

"Well it will be okay tonight."

"You don't understand. The night calls, but I can't answer the call. Only bad men answer the call."

"Spike you're not making any sense."

"The night. Vampires roam in the night, but I can't. Gotta be good; can't be bad. I see all the bad things that I did and it hurts."

"It'll be okay tonight. Things will be different."

"Okay." Spike said as he curled up into a ball. Buffy got closer to the drivers seat and whispered to Giles.

"Hurry up and get home. I have a feeling that Spike isn't going to do to well when night comes." Giles gave a knowing nod and went back to driving. Buffy went back to where Spike was laying and tried to talk to him.

"Is there anything that you would like. Maybe some more blood. When we get home you could have some chicken when we get it."

"No 'll be too tired. Jus' want to try and sleep. If I sleep it innit so bad." Gone was all the cocky confident man who always was so self-assured and aware. In his places stood a man who was scared and frightened of himself. Spike looked and sounded like a small child trying to escape the boogey man.

Buffy placed her hand on Spike face and started to caress his check. It was something that was purely based on instinct. She wanted to make him feel better because she cared about him.

Spike's eye instantly shut the moment he felt Buffy's hand on his face. He was lost in the moment. Everything in his head was screaming for him to tell her to stop, but he couldn't it had been far to long since he had been this close to Buffy. The dreams didn't count because even though they were so real, they weren't really real. He loved her so much that he would do anything for her. He had done something big for her. He had gotten his soul back for her. So she could be assured that it was okay to have feelings for him. Everything since the time he had first realized that he loved her was for her.

"Spike are you asleep?"

"No jus' tired."

"You should rest. Go to sleep if that's what makes you feel better. I'll just sit and watch you."

"No don't move." Spike said with a desperate tone in his voice.

"You want me to stay right here?" Buffy said with an incredulous tone in her voice.

"Yes please." Spike said as he shut his eyes again.

"Okay." Buffy stayed right there and just watched him. Her hand was still caressing his face and she was just admiring his face. He looked even more innocent when he was asleep. Buffy had never really stayed to watch him sleep and now she was just absorbing the moment.

Spike tried to sleep. Sleeping through it was better then being awake when he saw the terrible images of what had happened in the past. It was like he could pretend that they were just some bad dreams that he kept having rather then facing the fact that it was him doing those things. He just couldn't sleep though. He felt Buffy's hand on his face and he put all his energy into feeling Buffy's hand.

He didn't want her to ever stop. He could feel the night coming and knew what that would bring. He would just have to focus on everything but the memories that he had.

"Spike you gonna wake up or do I have to carry you." Buffy whispered in his ear. He had been so focused on other things that his mind had drifted into a half sleep mode.

"Hum?"

"We're here. We've been here actually. Come on let's go." Spike only responded with. 'Hum'. "Okay then I guess I'll have to carry you." Spike felt himself being lifted, but wasn't sure what was going on. He kept his eyes tightly shut. Buffy walked inside her house where all the people were waiting for her.

"Why are you carrying Spike?" Dawn asked.

"Because he refuses to wake up from this state that he's in. Some sort of way to block out all the memories I guess." Buffy said.

"He does look very unSpike like. The hair would throw anyone off." Anya said pointing to Spikes hair, which was longer then usual, and turning brown.

"Yeah and he's paler then usual." Dawn said.

"Okay now that everyone has given Spike the good once over I'm going upstairs to put him on a bed. Save me some chicken."

"Kay." Buffy heard them say as she carried Spike all the way upstairs. He was very light. She had carried Spike before a couple of times and he was never this light. She decided to let him sleep in her room.

She opened the door and lightly placed him on the bed. She had every intention of going downstairs and eating some of the delicious KFC chicken, but she had to make sure that he was okay. She took a seat next to the bed and watched him.

Spike wasn't entirely asleep. His mind was in this state where he was half-aware of what was going on around him. Like he was trying to find rest, but couldn't. Then a memory hit him. It was one that was really gross and demented. It was one where he was with Dru, Angelus and Darla. They were out killing a family.

Not just killing to eat, but totally massacring them. Doing awful things to them. Spike had been more of a kill for food kinda guy and would engage in a slaughter when everyone else was. He actually didn't have the stomach for massacres often. This was sick though. He saw him and Angelus doing awful things to the women of the family and Dru and Darla playing with the others.

"No stop it! You shouldn't do that! Please I don't want to see this!" Spike screamed. Buffy was alarmed to hear him talking. He was shaking and yelling. He most have been having another one of those times were he saw his past. She walked over to him and tried to calm him down or at least wake him up.

"Spike! Come on Spike! Stop it and just wake up already!" Buffy said as she tried to get him to wake up. The memory ended and Spike opened his lazy eyes. They were glistened with tears.

"It was awful. 'M awful. I should be dead." Spike said in a barely audible voice. The tears were threatening to come down.

"No, you are not awful. That was in the past. Things are different now. You have a soul and you aren't the man who did those things. Even your demon wouldn't do those things anymore. You've changed so much and you're a better man then anyone gives you credit for." Buffy said as she tried to calm him down. She had climbed on the bed and was holding him close to her.

"But I did 'em and I can't change that. All those people are dead because of me. How can I not be a bad person?"

"Because you've changed."

"But I was such a bad person. A killer and I enjoyed it."

"Spike don't think about what you did. You're right it's in the past and you can't change it. You can however do good for the rest of your life to try and make things better. You can be a good man. You already are. You've grown so much and I refused to see it, but now I do."

"But..."

"Shhh go to sleep."

"I can't sleep. They'll come again and I don't want to see things like that. I don't want to be alone." Spike said in a whisper. The tears were flowing down his face by this time.

Buffy turned him around so that they were facing each other.

"You're not alone. I'll stay here and make you feel better. I'll take care of you." "Really even after I did very horrible things to you?" Spike said questioningly.

"Yes. I'll be here for you." Buffy said as she pulled Spike closer to her. His head rested on her chest and she put her chin on top of his head. One of her arms was draped around his waist and one of his arms was draped over hers. She held him close to her and pulled the blanket over them when he started to shake again.

She would kiss his hair anytime she could feel him shaking. Soon he fell asleep and so did she with the chicken long forgotten and the furthest thing from her brain. The only thins she thought about was how nice it was to sleep next to Spike again.

Chapter 8:

It was six-thirty in the morning. The sun was up and Buffy was lying on her bed, watching Spike sleep. He had finally found a restful sleep at close to one in the morning. He had been shaking and going through bad things all night. Buffy would calm him down when he went through these stages. There had been no conversation between them save for Buffy whispering nice words to calm him down.

Now it was six-thirty in the morning. Buffy hadn't eaten since the hot dog from the gas station and was extremely hungry. She wasn't sure if it was safe to leave him alone yet. She didn't want him to be scared and her not be there to comfort him. She decided that she would just wait until he woke up. Besides it was very comfortable where she was.

That was another thing that confused Buffy. She was totally content with being around Spike. Everything else seemed harder when she wasn't around him. He helped her. So what did it mean?

It means that you care for him a lot. The annoying little voice in the back of Buffy's head screamed.

Yes I do care about him but that doesn't mean that I love him or anything like that. He's a valuable person in my life. He knows my feelings even when I don't tell him what the are. He's a good... friend?

Buffy thought that friend wasn't the right word. They had history together. Could he ever just be her friend? Buffy remembered what he had said when he came back that one time and kidnapped Willow to try and get Dru back.

He had said that people in love could never just be friends. Buffy thought that she didn't love him and knew that she could be his friend, but could he ever really be hers. He loved her so much, that much Buffy had learned to accept. He would want more.

Wouldn't you want more? Don't you think you do want more? From him. Don't you think that maybe just maybe you do love him? There was that annoying voice again. It was getting harder to silence as time went by.

No I don't love him. Love is about being happy all the time. When I was with him I was happy and when I wasn't I was miserable. When you're in love you're happy all the time and not just every once in a while. That's love and that wasn't how it was. Buffy thought. She tried to push that annoying voice back, but it was still coming in loud in clear.

Right that's what love is about. Sure you're happy all the time, but people who are in love are miserable when they aren't around the other person. Hello does that sound like someone you know. And besides you were making yourself miserable by not being around him and not letting yourself admit the truth. Really the only reason you were miserable was because you wanted to be. It was funny how that voice could sound so much like Dawn or Anya. Buffy was about to arguing with herself some more when she heard a low groan. She liked down to see Spike stirring.

"Spike are you waking up?" She asked softly.

"Hum," was the reaction she got from Spike. He turned over to lie on his back and slowly opened his eyes.

"Buffy?" Spike said. He wasn't sure if all of that had been a dream and he was still lost somewhere in England.

"Yeah Spike I'm here." Spike lifted his hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Oh." Spike said when he finally managed to open his eyes all the way.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"No 'm fine. What time is it?" Spike asked.

"Around six in the morning."

"'S still early. Did you eat?"

"No I stayed with you the whole time."

"You should eat somethin. You must be hungry."

"A little." Buffy said.

"Go to the kitchen and eat somethin'."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah can you bring me some more blood?" Spike asked.

"Sure just give me a few minutes." Buffy got off of the bed and walked out of her room.

It wasn't as quiet as Buffy thought it would be. Of course she knew that Dawn would be running around trying to get ready for school, but Giles, Anya, and Xander were up and doing research.

"Buffy you're up." Giles said. They had only seen her once since they got back and that was when she told them she was going to bed.

"Yeah got hungry and Spike wanted some blood." Buffy said. She picked up a jelly filled donut from the dozen that was sitting on the table.

"How's he doing?" Anya asked.

"Better during the day. Had some pretty scary 'nightmares' last night."

"We know. We heard him screaming. Sounded like someone was torturing him." Xander said. There was one time during last night were Spike was screaming and begging for it to stop. It had to be the scariest thing that Xander had heard and he had felt sorry for Spike.

"Yeah it's pretty bad. I just hope that he can get through this." Buffy said picking up another donut.

"He will with time. He just has to get used to being around other people that will help him. It is going to take some time, but eventually he'll get through it." Giles said.

"Where's Dawn?" Buffy said with a mouthful of donut. She had poured herself a glass of milk and was eating away.

"She's up stairs getting ready to go to school." Anya said.

"That's good. I should write her a note. Something like please excuse Dawn Summers from school yesterday because she was sick." Buffy said.

"Yes because going with the truth would only make the school think that you're crazy." Xander said. Buffy gave him a nod and then started to walk away.

Buffy walked into the kitchen and got another packet of blood from the freezer. She had learned from the time that Spike was living with Giles how to handle blood. He liked it warm so Buffy stuck the packet in the microwave for two minutes. After the two minutes were up she poured the blood into a mug and grabbed one of those crazy straws.

She took her donut, glass of milk and Spike's mug of blood upstairs and into her room. She was about to go inside when she heard to voices talking and laughing about something. It was Dawn and Spike. Buffy would have barged in, but she wanted to hear what they were talking about. She opened the door a little and listened in on their conversation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike lay on the bed waiting for Buffy to come back. He could hear her talking to the rest of the gang and the topic of discussion seemed to be him. Usually he would have been furious that they were talking about him like a science project, but the 'nature of his soul' wasn't allowing him to get upset. He had to be hospitable and cordial. He should be glad that someone gave a hoot about him, especially the girl that he was in love with. So here he was again.

Conflicted between the man that he was and the man that he turned out to be. Both were him, but how could they ever co-exist. They were totally different from each other. One was totally gentleman like and truly Victorian. That's what he was before becoming a vampire. A sappy sentimental guy who was courtesy and stuffy. Totally British for those times that he lived in. Spike had to admit that he liked the romantic that he was and still was on occasion. There were some qualities of William that he couldn't just shake off.

The other side of him was cocky and confident. He was a guy who was totally self-assured about everything and almost never let his guard down. Somewhere in the middle of things he had changed a little. He had always cared for others. For example just look at the way he was with Drusilla. He had been someone who did whatever the hell he pleased. Sure when he realized his feelings for Buffy he was a little more opened and less like his old self.

For one he didn't kill people and he didn't care how many times Harris said that was because of the chip. He had tons of chances to kill Buffy and he didn't he loved her too much. He had never changed his confident attitude though. He knew what he wanted and he got it. He liked that guy who was so self-assured about everything. That looked at the mug of blood as half full instead of half empty.

Sure William had a positive outlook on life, but he was a coward. A sniffling poof who believed in all things were good and didn't like to hear about bad things in the world. That was two different kinds of optimism. Spike knew what the world was about, but took what he could get from it. He didn't dilute himself by thinking that things were okay when they weren't he fought hard to keep what he had. William was delusional. Completely hopeless and blind to the ways of the world.

He thought that everything was a walk in the park and why shouldn't he? He was rich. A spoiled rich kid who was a momma's boy. Why would he have to think about things like that? So his dilemma dragged on. Which side was better was still the question that rang in his head. How was he going to be both at the same time? Did he want to be both at the same time?

"Spike" said a voice to the right of him. Spike looked up to see Dawn looking straight at him.

"Hey, Nibblet." Spike said. She had a mixture of feelings on her face. The main one was happiness, but concern, worry, and confusion were there as well.

"So how are you feeling? Where's Buffy?" Dawn said. Spike could see that she was holding back the jumping for joy and the questions. Of course there would be lots of those and he would be happy to answer most.

" Buffy's gettin' me some blood. 'M all right Dawnie. You don't have to jus' sit there and be all nursemaid. You can be happy." Spike said. He saw a wave of relief wash over Dawn's face.

"Good because unlike those melancholy people downstairs I think that it's great that you're back." Dawn said hugging Spike.

"Now I hope you know that you opened up a whole can of worms by saying I could be gleeful. Questions will come of this." Dawn said.

"Ask away."

"Now I know that you have a soul now. That was what the whole quest thing was about right?"

"Yes, got the soul."

"Do you feel different?"

"'M I s'posed ta feel different?"

"I don't know maybe. Come on you don't feel all liberal or something like that?"

"Jus' got a huge headache. And a bit confused. Playin the whole mind debate. Should I be this should I be that. Stuff like that."

"Oh so you're not sure whether to stay Spike or turn all William-y." Dawn said.

"Sorta like that I guess. Tryin' ta find a way ta be both."

"I think that would be perfect. A mixture of the two. You know like someone whose mean and aggressive when he has to be, but all teddy bearish when he doesn't have to be."

"So now 'm a teddy bear?"

"Face it Spike you've always been a big teddy bear."

"Maybe you're right."

"So what do you want to be called? Should we stick with Spike or do you want to be called William? Or maybe Will."

"Spike'll do jus' fine. Not s'actly William so I figure stick wif the name Spike. Like it anyways."

"Okay so we stick with Spike. So do you remember anything about yourself before you were a vampire?"

"No, right now 's only the showin' my crimes portion of the soul gettin'."

"Yeah well I figured that much what with the screaming last night."

"Sorry bout that."

"No it's okay. You were in pain. Although having your soul will be great. Now you can be happy."

"Didn't think being tortured was happy." Spike said sarcastically. Dawn giggled.

"No silly now you and Buffy can really be together." Spike was silent.

"Bit I don't know if that could ever happen."

"Why not? I know that she really cares about you. She's just denying that she loves you because she thinks it's wrong. Now she ran out of excuse."

"Look, Dawn, 've never hurt your sis, but I know her. She jus' doesn't change overnight."

"It's not an overnight thing. She was miserable without you here. She wanted you here."

"Yeah maybe. Maybe this soul thin' will help. Maybe we'll be in love an' thins'll be great. If she never loves me the way I love her that'll be fine. Not gonna push her. I don't think I can anymore. What with the soul an' all. Jus' being wif her is enough. Aven't s'actly given up on the hopes that we'll be together, but the whole picture of us with a nice house and a dog named Skip wif a picket fence innit s'actly in my head anymore. Sides not one for picket anyway. Too dangerous." Dawn laughed. Spike just loved it when Dawn laughed. She hadn't done a lot of that since Joyce died and it was Spike's pleasure to make her laugh.

Damn it what is wif these Summers women. A bloke startin' to sound like a poof. Spike thought.

"All right I better go. Xander is taking me to school. Hopefully Buffy wrote a note." Dawn said.

"School already?" Spike asked. He looked over at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was close to seven.

"Yeah school starts at seven thirty. Murder to anyone. It's too early in the morning to do math."

"Well it is useful."

"Please when I'm I ever going to use the square root of x?"

"If you plan on going to college. Trust me it doesn't get any easier."

"Aren't you supposed to say it gets easier?"

"And lie to you? I know that you'd be to smart and see right through it."

"You're right about that one. For an evil guy you aren't a very good liar."

"Aven't been since I was infected wif you Summers women."

"All right well I'll see you later."

"'Ave a good day at school, Nibblet."

"Thanks, bye." Dawn walked outside of the room. She saw Buffy coming up the stairs.

"Take forever to get blood why don't you?" Dawn said.

"You talked to Spike?" Buffy lied as best as she could. She had stood and heard most of their conversation.

"Yeah we did. How long did you think I would wait to talk to him? Went there first chance I got."

"Well you should go. It's close to seven and you have to get to school."

"Im going, Im going. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Have a good day."

"You too." Dawn said as she walked down the stairs.

Buffy cautiously walked inside her room. She was trying not to spill the blood. Spike saw that her hands were full and got up to help her. He took his blood and sat down on the bed again.

"So you eat Slayer. Lookin' a lil' skinny." Spike said.

"This coming from the guy who could give Ally McBeal a run for her money." Buffy said.

"I had reasons. Chip an' Soul prevent me from eatin' and I was a bloody mess."

"Well that isn't going to happen on my watch. You'll get healthy and muscular again in no time."

"Yeah physically 'll be all right, but mentally 'll be as unbalanced as Dru."

"You're getting better."

"Did you hear me las' night. Thas not better."

"Is it worse?"

"A lil' bit. At firs', but then it got less bad."

"See improvement."

"Slight I guess. Think 's all the people around here. Not used ta being around people yet."

"We're here to help."

"Yeah I know. 'S jus' you're not so much helpin' as hurtin'."

"Even me?" Buffy asked. She had a slightly hurt look on her face.

"No you help, but you hurt to sometimes. 'S jus' a thin'. See whenever I look at you I wonder 'Why would someone like her want ta be around me?' killed slayers and thought nothin' of it. Then there's that whole 'I love you, but you shouldn't be so close thin'. All part of the William package I guess. See the 'nature of my soul' is sayin' 'you love this woman, but you should wait and make thins' proper' while Spike is sayin' 'who care bout propriety? If she offers you any part of her life take it.' 'M in a state of confusion of which one ta listen ta. Then there's the other thin' that you don't know bout William... an' never will." Spike had a horrified look on his face when he almost let his secret slip.

No she definitely shouldn't know that one. Keeping that one wif me till I die.

Buffy looked at him with a suspicious look on her face. "Okay so I get the whole thing with the nature of your soul, but it's not like we can't work together." Buffy said.

They hadn't talked about any sort of relationship. Buffy wanted to, but after hearing his conversation with Dawn and his new soul that was messing things up a little too much then Buffy thought, she decided to wait. Spike let out a sigh.

"Thas another thin'. William never liked violence and doesn't like it at all."

"So you're saying fighting isn't in the nature of your soul?"

"S'actly. Like I said I don't know how to sort it all out and it hurts my head ta think bout it too much." Spike said rubbing his head.

Buffy put her food down and went over to him. He looked tired. Like he had been turned at forty. He looked older. Buffy put her hand on his and that stopped the rubbing.

"Everything will reveal itself soon." Buffy said as she caressed his hand. Their faces were merely inches apart. Spike wanted to kiss her. He wanted to take her and make love to her. It had been so long since they had down that. He had cherished the last time they had made love and kept it in his mind. It was motivation to come back with the soul.

Buffy desperately wanted him to kiss her. She loved it when he kissed her. Everything about him made her want him. She had always wanted him. Ever since the first time they had had sex she had craved him. She would say that she didn't, but that was a lie. He was under her skin and in her blood. He knew just what to do to make her feel good. When he touched her, her body would hum. She always had that insatiable desire for him. It had been such a long time since she felt him on top of her. Since she felt his touch. She craved that almost as much as she craved his mere presence.

It was all she wanted. He made her feel something when she was with him. Even when they were just talking and being friendly. They had been that before the sex got involved. Sure friend was too strong a word, but they talked. She enjoyed his company. He always seemed able to understand her when her friends couldn't. There was something about the way he treated her that made her feel wanted. Her friends needed her, but he wanted her and needed her. There was a huge difference between them. Her friends needed protection. They needed the things that she could offer them. Of course they had missed her, but people move on.

They could say that they wanted her back, but if she was just a person then they wouldn't. They needed her. Spike didn't need her in that way. He needed her because it hurt him to live without her.

Spike felt Buffy move her hand to his face. She was making it hard for him not to kiss her. He wasn't sure what he wanted and wasn't sure what she wanted. They hadn't discussed any possibilities. Spike looked into her eyes and saw that she wanted him. He could tell that she wanted him. Before either knew what was happening they were leaning closer to each other until their lips met. It was a shy kiss; more like one that was asking if it was okay. It was as if they were doing this for the first time. Of course Buffy and Spike had done this millions of times before and it never stayed shy.

Soon the kiss was becoming deeper and more passionate. Buffy took the lead because Spike seemed too tired to do anything more then kiss her back. Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and Spike's hands fell limply on Buffy's hips. It wasn't long before Buffy had Spike pinned to the bed with her straddling him. Spike knew what was going on and something in his head was screaming for him to stop. Again the nature of his soul was telling him to stop and that this was wrong. Maybe it was a little of something else as well. It was like falling back into the same pattern that he had worked so hard to try and get rid of.

Spike regretfully tore his lips away from Buffy's.

"What's the matter?" Buffy said with concern in her voice and in her eyes. She so wanted this to happen. She just wanted to forget everything for a few moments and being with Spike was the only way she knew how to do that. She wanted to make him feel better too. Make him forget everything for a few moments in time.

"I can't...we can't...'s not..." Spike was lost for words. What could he say that wouldn't make her mad or hurt? "'S jus' that... well wif the nature of my soul and all that rot... there's jus'..." Spike rubbed his head. He was never good with words.

"Hey don't hurt yourself thinking of the right words to say. I get it. You're not ready for this yet."

"Yeah you're not mad right?"

"No I'm not mad Spike. I understand."

"'S jus' that it feels like old patterns and such. 'Aven't really discussed anythin' and I think we should. You know stuff from the past? Then there's good ole William tellin' me not to do this."

"We don't have to take it so fast. I understand your need to make things right. And talking is good. Things from the past are so sordid and bad. Like you said fresh start."

"Right."

"Well now's a good as time as any."

"You really want it?"

"Yes I do. I care about you a lot Spike. You make me feel... you make me feel period. I know that now things can be different."

"So were do we start?"

Buffy thought for a moment. Where do they start? Is there anything to work on like a foundation or should they throw it all away and start anew?

"I don't know. Do we have a foundation?"

"Sure we were sorta friends before sex go involved. Let's start from the beginning."

"How far in the beginning are we talking? Like starting of as friends?"

"That could take too long and I was never known for my patients and Spike and as William."

"So what are we starting from?"

"I guess it's like dating although I never really dated."

"You mean like getting to know one another first. Learning all the details."

"Yeah I guess thas it."

"Okay then. Hi my name is Buffy Anne Summers. Very pleased to meet you."

"Nice ta meet you too. Name's William or Spike."

"No last name?"

"Not right now."

"Oh I see a man of mystery."

"Yeah thas me. 'M full 'f surprises."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So tell us how you got your soul?" Anya asked. The questions had started right away.

Spike and Buffy had stayed upstairs for a little while just talking about Spike's soul. She had asked him how he got it and what he had to do to get it. That was a start to their relationship. No matter how much the other wanted to they didn't kiss after that. They were trying to start a new relationship. They had gone downstairs to help with the research.

Spike was still a little shaky around other people, but was learning to control it better. They had put up heavy curtains to keep the sun out which was a good thing because Spike didn't think he could handle the brightness. They had bee researching for an hour before Anya asked that question. Everyone looked at her with stares saying that was a little rude.

"What we're all wondering it. This researching isn't helping any and it's boring. Besides as a vengeance demon I can see your soul. It's very bright." Anya said.

"'Ll take that as a complement." Spike said.

"Anya I don't think that we should intrude so much. Let Spike tell us on his own time." Giles said.

"Oh come on Giles you know that you're dying to know. I bet you Watchers eat this stuff up. Mystical forces at work and all." Xander said.

"Xander we should respect Spike's privacy and let him tell us when he wants." Buffy said.

"Oh Buffy 'll spill. I know that they all wanna hear it." Spike said.

"Well it would be kind of interesting to know how." Giles said.

"Are you sure that you want to tell? You can wait to be drilled you know." Buffy said. She didn't want Spike to feel overwhelmed.

"'S totally fine. Nice to talk 'bout thins' then not talk 'bout them. So what s'actly do you want to know?"

"Just the basic how did you get it." Anya said.

"Well I had heard that there was this shaman that granted wishes ta people who passed these trials. Lived in Africa so I went there. Took me a while ta find the bloke, but when I did he had a line 'f people who wanted somethin. I waited and eventually it was my turn. Asked for the soul and he put me through a whole bunch 'f tests. I passed and he gave me my soul."

"What kind of trials did he put you through?" Giles asked.

"Basically physically trials. There was this big bloke who had fire coming outta his hands and I had ta kill 'im. Bugs that went in your body and ya had ta fight 'em off. Big demons I hadta kill. Stuff like that."

"What did he look like. The shaman I mean. Was he big and wearing a cloak?" Xander asked. Spike raised his eyebrow in a questioning stare.

"Sorry that's just how I imagine shaman." Xander said.

"Didn't get a good look at the bloke."

"Why did you do it?" Giles said. Spike was quiet for a moment.

"Well Watcher it was for a lady."

Giles's thoughts were confirmed. "I thought so."

Everyone gave a knowing nod and Buffy gave Spike a smile.

"So any more questions?"

"Do you feel different? Glowy or anything like that?" Anya asked.

"No not really. I do feel a little crappy, but thas cause I didn't eat. Other then that a little confused 'bout thins'. You know tryin' to act like me, but havin' my soul interfering."

"Well I think that that is all the questions. Going to look up this shaman that you're referring to. Should be useful." Giles said.

"So tell me 'bout this situation we got here." Spike asked.

"Well it all started when Tara died." Xander said. He was quiet before going on. "She went crazy with magic and then... well she started this big gang of witches and stuff. She's been terrorizing the town for a while now."

"So its all humans?" Spike asked.

"Yeah pretty much all misguided witches that fell under her spell. After she killed Rack by taking his powers his crowd followed her. She took over a local coven and has two Seers under her power. That's why it's so hard to do things without her knowing." Anya said.

"Huh? Then how will I be able to help?" Spike said rubbing his head. He was used to headaches nowadays.

"Well we never thought of that. If there was some prophecy that pertained to you, you have to do something that will help." Giles said.

"Yeah I guess so. 'S jus'..." Spike's head felt like it was going to explode. His headaches were always big like this.

"Spike are you okay?" Buffy's said not bothering to hide the concern in her voice.

"Yeah 's jus' 'm gettin' a headache." Spike said.

"Why don't you go lie down."

"I don't think I can walk. 'Ll jus' sit here and wait for it to pass." Spike said. Spike felt dizzy and lightheaded. Usually he was able to shake these headaches off but this one was to powerful.

"Giles is there any reason why he would be having such a powerful headache?" Buffy asked.

"Well yes he isn't used to his soul. His head isn't used to the confusion." Giles said. Truth be told he didn't think that was true, but Buffy was a little too worried.

"Don't think thas it mate. Feels like 'm being shocked with the chip." Spike said realizing it for the first time.

"Could the chip be malfunctioning?" Anya said.

"Well it's very likely that it is. We'll check into this and see what's going on." Giles said.

"We have Riley's e-mail address. We could write to him asking if he and his initiative friends could check on Spike's chip." Anya said.

"It's worth a try." Giles said. Spike sat silently in his chair trying to make the pain go away.

"Can you guys keep looking through the research. I'm going to take Spike upstairs." Buffy said.

"Okay," was the unison answer.

"Come on let's go." Buffy said as she picked up Spike again. It was getting so Spike didn't have to walk anymore.

Buffy carried Spike up the stairs and into her room. She placed him on the bed. He was trying to hide the pain that he felt and Buffy could see it.

"Hey you don't have to hide the fact that you're in pain." Buffy said as she lay down on the bed next to him.

"It really does hurt, but it should pass."

"Here does this feel better?" Buffy said as she rubbed his head.

"A little." Spike said as he closed his eyes and tried to focus only on Buffy's hands on his head.

"How about this?" Buffy said placing light kisses on Spike's forehead.

"Um." Spike said. The pain was still there, but for some reason it had lessened.

"We're going to get to the bottom of this you know that right."

"Yeah you should go downstairs. Help with the research and all that rot. Red's still on the lose."

"Something's more important to me." Buffy said.

"Really I wonder what that could be?" Spike said. Good he's joking.

That means that things are going to be okay.

"You silly. How's the pain now?"

"Subsiding. Guess the chip's gonna be the end me like I thought."

"Don't say that."

"Luv, it was only a joke."

"Yeah but it was a bad one." Buffy said angrily.

"Pet are you okay?"

"Hey that's my question."

"Are you?"

"Yeah I'm fine why?"

"Because I told a joke and you got all defensive."

"It wasn't funny."

"But you didn't havta get all mad 'bout it."

Buffy wasn't sure why she had gotten so upset. "You aren't gonna die."

"I know that Buffy. It was a joke."

"Yeah but the chip isn't going to be the end of you so don't say that."

"Why are you so upset 'bout it."

"I don't know. I have that whole separation issue thing. I just don't want you to go anywhere."

"'M not gonna go anywhere. Don't think I could walk after one of those headaches."

"Promise me."

"Promise you what, pet."

"Promise me that you aren't going to leave me again."

"Leave after 've gotten everythin' that 've always wanted. Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. Just say that you won't."

"I won't leave you. That better."

"Yeah better." Buffy said as she curled closer to Spike. Why she was being so emotional she didn't know. She just didn't want Spike to leave her again.

"Good now let's take a nap." Buffy said.

"You tired?"

"A little, but you look tired. You need to get your rest and get better looking."

"Looks matter that much to you?"

"No but I'd like to make other people jealous. You know girls and stuff. Let them see that I got a good looking, sexy, smart guy and they don't."

"Well let's hope you get the chance to do those things."

"Spike."

"Sorry forgot that you had issues."

"You make it sound bad."

"Sorry."

"Spike if we're gonna make this work and I want to make this work then I'll just have to learn to except your faults."

"You aren't perfect you know."

"I'm not?" Buffy said with her lips in a pout.

"Oh bloody hell woman of course you're perfect."

"You aren't bad yourself. Now sleep."

"Whatever you say." Spike said.

He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Buffy watched him for a little while. She really wanted to make this one work. She had to. She really cared about Spike a lot. More then she had admitted. Spike was different from Riley and Angel. Angel had wanted to make her into the perfect slayer. It seemed that slaying was all they had in common. He had treated her a little like a kid and not an adult. Riley had wanted her to be a plain Jane. He didn't want her to be the slayer.

He couldn't stand it that she was stronger then him, which Buffy found a little chauvinistic. Spike loved all of her. The Buffy side and the slayer side. They were both important to him. He loved her and that's what Buffy needed. Buffy cuddled closer to Spike and closed her eyes. This was perfect. Being next to Spike and watching him sleep. She drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

Chapter 9:

"I told you to just scout. I never said anything about draining information from the vampire." Willow told one of her lackeys. Brian had never been one to follow orders. He hadn't been too happy when Amy was promoted to second-in-command over him. Amy was a just a magic junkie and was only promoted because she was friends with the Dark Mistress.

"I thought that there might be some information that we didn't get from the rest of the people." Brian said trying to keep from getting angry. It wouldn't do to have a very powerful witch mad at you.

"Did you get anything new out of the vampire?" Willow asked in a way to sweet tone.

"Nothing of much relevance. His brain was pretty cooked. Must have been the soul, but there were something's that I found amusing."

"Well I hope that you have a good chuckle while Buffy is tearing out your intestines. You harmed some she cares about and Slayers are all gung-ho on that."

"So then the things in the vampires mind were true. The thoughts about the slayer." Brain asked incredulously. He just couldn't believe that someone who was meant to fight on the side of good would sleep with a vampire.

"Yes very much so. Bitty-Buffy is in love with the creature. Sure she won't admit it, but it's totally obvious."

"Why don't you just take her down already?" Brian said. He didn't want anything in the way when he made his run to take over the world. Brian was a zealous young man and had big dreams of things he would do with his magic. Ever since he found out about magic and started using he had been forming plans.

"Because I plan to make it painful. I plan to make everyone one suffer. I'm done with being a good vigilante. I want to bring this world to its knees. But first I want to have fun. Messing with 'The Scoobies' should prove to be interesting. And there's the prophecy. I fail if I make a wrong move and I plan to make all the right ones. Understand?"

Brain shook his head.

"Is there anything else you want, Dark Mistress?" Brian said. He hated being a flunky, but he would do it until the necessary time. Then he hoped to take out this wannabe Dark Mistress and rule. He just needed her to do all the tricky stuff.

"No not yet. There will be a time for you, but now there isn't. Just be patient." Willow said. Eagerness poured off this young man like waves. He couldn't be much more then nineteen and he was already corrupt. Something in him screamed wrong and Willow intended to check his background. She couldn't have loose canons rocking her boat.

"Go!" Willow ordered and Brian left. When Brian was totally out of sight Willow called for Amy.

"Yes, Willow." Amy said. Willow had given up on correcting Amy as long as no one else knew.

"Get me some information on our Mister Brian Shaffer will you."

"Right on it." A smirk tugged at the corners of Willow's lips. Yes she would definitely get to the bottom of that young man.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So do you still fill crappy?" Dawn asked as she stuffed another spoonful of Lucky Charms in her mouth.

"Those are all suga' you know." Spike said as he took another sip from his mug of blood.

"Right like your breakfast is better. So do you?"

"Not so much. Headache's are still there, but the craziness is lowering." Spike said. It had been two days since they had discovered the possible chip malfunction. Buffy had contacted Sam, Riley's wife, through e-mail and she hadn't answered back. It would be a few more days until that happened.

For now Spike was getting through the headaches with help from Buffy of course. They had just been talking and would share the same bed, but everyone knew what was going on. Anya and Dawn couldn't have been more thrilled, but Xander and Giles still held their doubts.

"So when are you and Buffy going on an official date?" Dawn asked with a sly smile on her face.

"Nib, I'm not s'actly sure we're gonna be able to go on a date what wif Red runnin' loose."

"Oh come on it's possible. Look Willow hasn't attacked in a while and you and Buffy need to go out and have some fun."

"I was thinkin' that we should wait till after the hunk 'f metal is outta my head. Might faint in a restaurant."

"Okay, but right now things are progressing? Any smoochies?"

"Well aren't you the lil' detective."

"Anya and I made a bet on when you guys would give up on this whole 'get to know you act' and just do it. Anya seems to think that it will be very soon, but I think that with the soul things will go slower."

"Bit, you shouldn't be talkin' 'bout thins' like that." Spike said almost choking on his blood.

"Oh puh-lease. I saw you and Anya go at it and I'm sixteen. I know stuff."

"Whatcha mean by that." Spike quirked an eyebrow and had the parental tone that said 'I'd better not get the answer I'm thinking about.'

"Spike not like that. God you don't have to go all dad on me."

"Jus' makin' sure. Sides I don't think that 's your business what your sis and I do."

"Oh well I think that it will be evident when you guys do give in."

"Dawnie."

"All right jeez. You act more like a dad everyday you know that. Haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Jus' care 'bout you thas' all."

"Yeah I know. The whole 'I only do things in your best interest' speech."

"Well 'f you don't want me ta play the parental figure or friend I could always play the bad guy. Grr Urgh." Spike said as raised his hands into claw hands. Dawn laughed.

"No I never said I wanted that, but your imitation of a bad guy is very funny. I should get my backpack. Xander's going to be here any minute." Dawn put her bowl in the sink, gave Spike a hug and a kiss goodbye, and walked away.

"Bye Spike."

"Bye, Nibblet."

Spike heard the front door close. He sat in his chair thinking about how perfect things seemed to be. Buffy was actually giving him a shot at being with her. Everyone seemed to except him into the group. Dawn had always liked him, but now everyone in the group seemed to just be okay with his presence.

Things were good; well they would be good once he stopped having headaches that made him pass out. Spike took a sip of his 'coffee' and started to read the newspaper. He wasn't really interested in what it had to say, but he thought he might as well know what was going on in the world. Spike felt small arms wrap around him from the back.

"Guess who." Buffy said from behind him.

"Hum... who could it be." Spike said.

"Spike you know its me." Spike turned around to look at her. Even wearing that ridiculous Doublemeat uniform she still looked beautiful.

"'Ave I told you jus' how beautiful you are lately."

"Even in this pylon looking outfit?" Buffy crinkled her nose and plucked at her shirt.

"Doesn't matter what you're wearin'. You're the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Spike." Buffy said blushing.

"What time do you have ta be at that job?" Spike asked. Buffy stood between Spike's legs and outlined his bottom lip.

"Don't talk about it like that. It's important that I get a salary to keep social services at bay."

"Yeah I know. They'll take the Bit away 'f you don't got a job."

"Okay then we agree that the job is a good thing." Buffy said with her fingers still outlining his lip.

"How can I disagree wif you when you're doing that?"

"You can't." Buffy leaned in. The last time they had kissed was the morning that they had decided to be a couple. They had been talking about things and Buffy was getting a little antsy. She wanted nothing more then to kiss him and be with him again, but taking it slow was all a part of the process. She was willing to wait.

Spike so wanted her to kiss him. He found himself leaning his head in and it wasn't long before their lips met. Like their kiss before it was shy and more of a brush then a kiss. Spike felt like he was going to spontaneously combust if the kiss wasn't deepened. His tongue darted out and outlined her lips as if asking for permission to deepen the kiss. Buffy's lips parted immediately and joined Spike's tongue in a tango.

Tongues battled for dominance and hands started to roam. Spike's hands ran up and down Buffy until they finally rested on her hips. Buffy's hands stayed around Spike's neck and started to run through his hair. She liked it tousled and disheveled. Dawn had cut it and bleached it for him. He was looking better and better everyday.

"Uh-hum." Someone cleared his or her throat loudly. Spike and Buffy lips pulled apart, but Spike's hands remained on Buffy's waist and Buffy's hands remained around Spike's neck. They turned to see Xander, Anya, and Giles standing in the doorway.

"Xander why did you stop them. I could have won twenty dollars." Anya complained.

"Ahn we have to do research and they don't need to be all going at it in the kitchen. At least have the decency to use Buffy's room." Xander joked.

"Ha! Ha! Very funny Harris."

"Well now that Buffy and Spike have decided to pull apart we shall get down to business." Giles said as he rubbed his glasses again and then placed them back on.

"Well unfortunately I have to go to work." Buffy said putting on her hat with the chicken and the cow.

"You say that like 's it a bad thin', luv. You don't havta look at boring ole' books all day."

"Yeah, but I won't be near you for like eight hours." Buffy said a pout forming on her lips.

"You guys really need to tone it done a little bit." Xander said.

"Never." Buffy said. She just stared into Spike's beautiful blue eyes. She could get lost in them for days.

"Yeah never." Spike added. He was staring back at Buffy with the same kind of intensity that she was staring at him.

"Oh get a freaking room." Anya said.

"Luv, you should be heading off ta work."

"Yeah I know." Buffy gave him a quick peck on the lips and tore away from him reluctantly.

"Okay so bye everyone." Buffy said not taking her eyes off of Spike.

"Yeah bye Buffy."

"See ya Buff."

"Laters Buffster."

"'Ave a nice day, pet."

"Yeah bye Spike." Buffy said as she walked outside. Spike stared at the spot where Buffy last was as he heard the car start and drive away.

"You two are really hopeless, but I like it. Gives others hope." Anya said.

"Right so we should start researching." Spike said trying to change the subject.

"Right, right the research. We should get started." Giles said.

"To the bat cave." Xander said. Giles and Anya stared at him like he was a nut and Spike gave him a small smile. "Or otherwise known as Buffy's dining room." The group of people filed into the dining room.

"So 'ave we given up on these ole' books and started on the demon files?"

"We have two or three more books to look through. Should be starting the vengeance demon reports soon." Giles said, "I have talked to the coven and they asked me to go over there to talk with them. They said that they might be able to lend some assistance." Giles said.

"What does that mean?" Xander said.

"Well they might be able to let one of their witches come here and help us."

"Oh that would be good. Do they have anyone as powerful as Willow?" Anya asked.

"They have one girl that might be strong enough. They also gathered some information that they can't tell me over the phone. Afraid that Willow might find out and use it against us." Giles said.

"Well thas all we need right now. Someone jus' as powerful as Red to give her a run for her money. 'D do it, but can't s'actly do that." Spike said.

"There will be no hurting Willow. This prophecy was to be a way to stop her without killing her." Xander said.

"Don't worry mate. Not gonna hurt Red jus' want to show here what she's doing is wrong."

Xander went back to looking at the old book.

"You know we were talking about contacting the other champion. Maybe we should follow through with that idea." Anya said.

"Yes, but we don't know who the other champion is. We could ask the coven to contact the Powers." Giles said.

"Well you know by the way Anya described the champions my first guess would be that it was Mister Broody." Xander said in a nonchalant voice.

"Why yes it could possibly be him." Giles said taking off his glasses and putting the ends in his mouth giving him that intellectual look.

"Oh Bollocks you don't really think that it could be that bloke." Spike said. That was all he needed.

"Who's Mister Broody?" Anya asked.

"Angel." Xander said.

"Oh yeah maybe. You could get him here and I could check. You know with the whole vengeance demon powers I can see things like that." Anya said.

"Yes we can call him and get him over here. He'll probably want to bring his whole organization. That would give us more help." Giles said.

"That'll be great. We'll 'ave Captain Cardboard here and Peaches. That should be one of the most fun thins' that innit actually fun." Spike said.

"Cheer up Spiky. I don't think that Buffy will ever even notice. Besides Riley's married." Xander said. He couldn't believe that he was actually comforting Spike.

"Yeah but that still leaves Peaches." Spike said.

"Spike we all see they way Buffy looks at you. There isn't anyone she would rather be with." Anya said.

"You're right. Shouldn't doubt Buffy or myself. So let's get down to some research."

"That's the spirit." Xander said as the group dove right into the books.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So when are you getting back?" Buffy asked.

"Shouldn't take longer then a day. I'm going to the local coven that I have on watch." Giles said. He had a duffel bag in hand and was trying to make a small departure, which wasn't happening.

"Okay so you'll be back soon?" Buffy said.

"Yes Buffy."

"And you'll eat plenty of good food?" Dawn asked.

"Yes Dawn."

"Ladies I think we should let Giles leave in peace." Xander said.

"Yeah you're right Xander." Buffy said. Buffy pulled Giles into a big bear hug.

"Buffy I'm coming back." Giles said. Buffy was the slayer and as the slayer she was strong enough to squeeze the life out of him, which she was doing.

"I know Giles. Just a little more emotional nowadays. Hope I didn't get that stinky Doublemeat Palace smell on you."

"It doesn't matter. Now remember to keep researching while I'm gone. We don't need to fall behind because I left."

"Right we'll be right on that." Anya said somewhat sarcastically.

"All right then. I shall see you later." Giles walked to the front door, opened it and left.

"So who's up for a video?" Xander asked.

"Shouldn't we get into research mode. You know make with the learning." Buffy said.

"Buff, did you just hear yourself? You wanted to research." Dawn said.

"Oh dear lord I need a break. So who's going to get the movies and the pizza?"

"I'm going and Dawnie is coming with me, right Dawn?"

"Yeah we can't let him pick out the movies by himself."

"Mind if I tag along?" Spike said. He had been sitting on the stairs watching the pleasant exchange of good-byes.

"Are you sure you're up to going outside? Maybe you should rest." Buffy said.

"I need to stretch and go out. Gettin' cabin fever in 'ere." Spike said.

"Maybe you should start off small. A walk around the block maybe." Buffy said.

"Luv, I want to do this. Aven't had any trouble with the memories in a day."

"Yeah, but what about the chip? What happens if it malfunctions and you pass out? Who's going to be there to get you? Xander and Dawn aren't strong enough to carry you. I just want you to be safe."

Spike sighed, walked over to Buffy and pulled her into his arms. "We havta risk somethins'. I want ta go out and jus' get some videos and pizza. It'll be safe an' sound. I promise nothin' will happen."

"Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"Yes I'll be fine. The Bit and the whelp 'll take care 'f me."

"Yeah Buffy things will be fine. It's just a quick job to the blockbuster and the Pizza Hut."

"Don't' worry about Captain Peroxide. He'll be fine. So let's go."

"All right. 'M I gonna go or what?" Spike asked.

"You wouldn't go if I didn't want you too?"

"Well... yeah."

"Go, but be careful." Spike gave Buffy a quick kiss on the nose and walked outside with the two other eager people.

"He'll be all right." Anya said.

"Yeah I just want him to be perfectly fine. The only way to know that for sure would be for him to stay in the house all the time."

"That's a little over-protective. I mean I know that you just got him back and all, but give him a little room to breathe."

"Am I coddling to much?"

"Yeah a little, but I bet it's really fun playing nurse maid." Anya said walking over to the couch. Buffy gave her a curious look and followed her sitting in the chair across form her.

"Okay I'll take the bait. What do you mean?"

"Well come on Buffy. It's got to be hot. All those months away and all those lonely nights. You know that old saying abstinence makes the heart grow fonder or something grow harder if you know what I mean."

"Anya!"

"What?"

"Never mind I should know by now that you don't have any tact whatsoever. Besides we haven't you know."

"What! With someone like Spike?"

"It's just that with his soul and the chip malfunction things are going slow. He's still undecided on how he's supposed to act. We want to get to know each other first." Buffy said feeling a little silly. She already knew an awful lot about Spike.

"That has to be killing you." Anya said.

"I'm okay with the no sex thing. I mean I really do need to get to know him better. I care so much about him and I want him to be happy. I've treated him so badly that I just want to make it better."

"Come on Buffy. You're still a woman. How could you sleep by him and kiss him like that and not be turned on. Especially since you know what he can do."

Buffy looked away from Anya's eyes. If she didn't Anya would know for sure that Buffy would like nothing better then to throw him down on their bed and have her way with him. It had been way too long since they had had sex.

"You want him that bad, huh?" Anya said after almost a minute of silence. Buffy decided that it was time to stop playing games. Anya wouldn't tell anyone. It could be like the times she confided in Willow.

"God yes. Sleeping in the same bed with him has been torture. Sure he has been wearing clothes to bed, but my god it isn't like I haven't seen him naked. I know what he looks like and I miss being able to ogle at him. Then there's the snuggling and the kissing. It's all torture. When I'm with him it just feels so... good so right."

"Yeah I know what you mean."

"Oh right." Buffy said a little sadly.

"No not about Spike. Although it was nice I'm talking about Xander. That feeling you get when you just look at him or when you're kissing. Like everything falls away for those few moments and all there is are you and that person. So yeah I get it." Anya said.

"So what's the what with you and Xander?" Buffy asked. She hated to see two of her friends unhappy when they seemed so right together.

"Well Buffy I'm a vengeance demon again and that changes things. I mean I love Xander with all my heart, but he hurt me. I can't be mad at him, but I don't know if I can forgive him. I just need sometime. I mean now that I look back on our relationship I wonder if maybe things were rushed a little. I mean I stripped naked and we had sex before we had a date. I guess I would like to be you. Get to know him before the sex. But god it's going to be so hard."

"I hear you with that one. It's killing me to not touch Spike, but I have to be patient. Another saying is good things come to those who wait."

"Let's hope whoever said that knew what they were talking about."

"Yes let's."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Xander! Spike! Can we please get this one?" Dawn said holding up another one of her movie choices.

"Help me out 'ere. Is Brinin' Down the House a okay movie for the Bit to watch?"

"Yeah it's okay. Supposed to be a comedy. Sure get it." Xander said looking up to see Spike's confused face. Xander forgot that it had been awhile since Spike had ever watched TV.

"You sure we should get all these movies, Nibblet."

"It's Friday night and last time I checked the time it was only four-thirty. Of course we can get all these movies." Dawn said going back on her hunt for her second movie.

"Excited 'bout gettin' some time off innit she."

"I'm pretty sure everyone is. Pulling the all nighters aren't as glamorous as they used to be." Xander said picking up a movie and reading the back cover.

"Yeah I wouldn't know."

"Oh right Nurse Buffy is actually allowing only you to get sleep. Must be rough." Xander said sarcastically.

"Makes me fell useless."

"Spike no one is blaming you for taking the time off. You work during the day and what with the soul and the chip it's a wonder you can do that much."

"I can do a lot more then that." Spike said.

"Oh I know what this is. I went through the same thing. You're wondering where your place is in the group. See I thought that I wasn't a valuable part of the team. They even made me stay away from an apocalypse, but you know living on the Hellmouth can still get you into trouble. I am a valid member and so are you Spike. Oh god I can't believe that I gave an inspirational speech to Spike that has to be a sign of an impending apocalypse."

"'M gonna ignore that blatantly obvious pun and tell you that 's not all thas buggering me."

"All right spill. Great now I'm interested in hearing about your problems. Definitely apocalypse-y."

"Do you wanna hear or not?"

"Sure go ahead."

"Are you sure? Sorta problems wif Buffy."

"Already? Okay I think that I want to hear so go before I change my mind."

"'S jus' wif the soul an' everythin' I 'aven't been able to... well we 'ave been takin' thins slow an' everythin'. 'S all fine and good for me if she wasn't so damn beautiful. I really jus' wanna touch 'er and you know be wif 'er, but this stupid soul is... well 's stopping me."

"How is the soul stopping you?" Xander asked. It amazed him that Spike and Buffy weren't already making with the Spike and Buffy aerobics.

"Well wif the guilt of my crimes I feel that I don't deserve Buffy. I mean she's ... Buffy. Then even if we get pas' that there's the whole William thin."

"Okay I get the whole guilt thing, but you'll need to explain the whole William thing."

"The bloody ridiculous Victorian way of thinking that tells me it isn't proper ta have sex with Buffy when we aren't married."

"Well proper is always good." Xander said trying not to laugh. He had seen Spike got at it on the Magic Box table and he sure as hell wasn't married to Anya.

"Laugh all you want. I laugh when I think 'bout my poofy ways. The big thin' is..."

"Spill Spike you're keeping me on suspense here."

"Well as William I never... I never had sex."

Xander's eyes went huge. This confident guy who had tried to kill him on more then one occasion and had been so showy with Dru had never had sex with the possession of his soul. He had died a virgin.

"Put your eyes back in your sockets. I know 's unbelievable. Fuck I don't even believe it. I don't know how different it'll be. 'M jus' so confused damn it."

"Well is everything else good between you and Buffy."

"Yeah everythin's great."

"Well then sex should matter that much. I know why relationships that start of with sex can go a little sour. Look at Anya and my relationship. I wish that I had gotten to know her better before sex got in the way."

"Yeah I understand that. 'S jus' she's so beautiful."

"Yeah I understand that. Just give it some time. Is that all? Did I get all Dr. Xander and help you with your problem?"

"A lil' bit. I realized that 'f Buffy truly cares and I truly care, we'll 'ave no problem waitin'."

"Good because I don't want to walk in on you guys doing something while naked." Spike was about to say something clever and witty, but Dawn interrupted him.

"Come on guys I got my second movie." Dawn said holding up another movie.

"Phone Booth?" Xander and Spike said.

"I don't think that it's going to be interesting, but it has Colin Farrel."

"Great all his movies suck and they're action flicks." Xander complained.

"Like Daredevil and Final Destination 2 are any better." Dawn said.

"Well they have to be ten times better then that Irish guy who can't act." Xander said.

"Your fault for not letting me get How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. Besides Colin Farrel is in Daredevil. What did you get Spike?" Dawn said.

"I was jus' lookin' not gettin' anythin in particular."

"You have two movies in your hands. What were you lookin at?"

"Jus' this." Spike said holding up two movies.

"Narc and The Life of David Gale. They sound a little too intellectual." Dawn said.

"'S okay cause we don't need to get them. I was jus' lookin'." Spike said putting the movies back.

"Let's go."

"Yeah okay." Dawns said as she ran over to the front counter with Xander and Spike following behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was three in the morning. Dawn was lying out on the couch snoring very loudly. Xander was on the floor with a blanket and Doritos covering him. Anya sat in one of the chairs in the living room.

"Well I guess even when they don't want to they pull all-nighters." Buffy said as she curled closer to Spike in one of the chairs.

"Yeah well it seems that they're asleep now." Spike said as he rested his head in Buffy's hair.

"Tonight was good. No chip malfunctions or scary memories. Just quality time with friends and family."

"Um-hum." Spike said. He felt a little drained by the day. He had actually gone out and that had hurt his head a little although he'd never tell Buffy.

"Spike are you falling asleep?"

"Hum?" Spike said.

"You are aren't you."

"No 'm up."

"Come on let's go to bed."

"Should we jus' leave everyone 'ere?"

"Yeah it's not like they haven't slept like this before."

"So why don't we jus' stay like this. Don't really feel like moving."

"Come on you're going to hurt yourself sleeping like that."

"My lil' nursemaid."

"That a bad thing." Buffy said with mock innocence.

"Buffy, luv, let's try not to tempt the in house vampire."

"Oh Spiky what would you do to me. You're just a big kitty-cat."

"Oh kitty-cat, eh?"

"Yeah, but you're my kitty-cat." Buffy said as she leaned in and pressed her lips against Spike's. Buffy's tongue came out to play and Spike opened his mouth willingly. Their tongues engaged in that age-old dance that Spike and Buffy knew so well. Hands came into play and Spike pulled Buffy so close to him that she was practically sitting on his lap. Buffy almost forgot that pesky need to breathe, but she soon realized it and slightly pulled away from Spike.

"Um that was nice. Are you sure you don't want to go to bed." Buffy said while licking her swollen lips.

Spike wanted nothing more then to have her. God he'd even settle for doing it right there were everyone could hear. The conflicting started in his head. He couldn't screw this up. If sex got in the way and he couldn't have his Buffy, then he'd rather be dead.

"'Ll go to bed luv, but not in the way I know you're suggesting."

"Why this is really different. Me going all seduce-y and you trying to resist it."

"I jus' don't want to screw up the best thin' that I ever had. We need to take this slow."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it." Buffy said with a pout forming on her lips.

"Christ woman I know you're still trying."

"Working yet?"

"God I would, but I need this ta play out slow."

"Okay, baby, take all the time you want. I'll be here."

"You better be here."

"Well why put all this time into trying to get into your pants if I was just going to leave when I got the chance."

"YouknowIthinkthatweshouldgoouttomorrownight." Spike said as fast as he could.

"What did you say?" Buffy said. She had caught something about tomorrow night, but nothing other then that.

"You and me going ta a restaurant. Eating food and possible somethin' afterwards."

"Like a date?"

"Yeah if you want ta call it that."

"Well I think we can do that. So tomorrow night you say."

"Yes."

"Do you know where?"

"Yes."

"You going to tell me."

"Nah, 's a surprise."

Buffy's lips pouted again and Spike tried so hard not to stare at them. "All right luv. 'M actually very tired and would like ta go ta bed."

"Okay, but like you said it'll be hard to move form this nice cozy spot."

"Not a problem." Spike said scooping Buffy into his arms and starting to walk upstairs.

"What are you doing?"

"Well I figured that turnabout's fair play. You carried me at least three times in a row now. Jus' returnin' the favor."

"Mmm okay." Buffy said nuzzling her face into Spike's chest.

"You all right luv?"

"Yeah just really sleepy. Work is tough. All of it."

"Yeah well we're almost there." Spike said as he opened the door to Buffy's room. He placed her on the bed and was about to ask her if she was comfortable when he noticed that she was asleep.

'M the luckiest man in the world.

Spike thought as he pulled the covers over them and spooned against Buffy's back not taking long for sleep to find him.

Chapters 10, 11, and 12