Hey! That's My Life

Hey! That's My Life


Chapter 5:

Spike was walking in the sunlight. In direct sunlight and not burning. Sure the sun wasn't beating down hard on his like he would have liked, but it was good enough. Leaving the house was totally irresponsible, but hey he was an evil vampire for heaven sakes.

That Scooby Gang expected him to be the fearless leader they were used to and the feeling was almost drowning. Guilt and a certain sense of responsibility had flooded over him along with the feeling of despair and loneliness that was sure to come with it. A certain sense of dread that just couldn't be shaken off.

This morning he woke up in what looked like Buffy's room, but slightly more manly. He was wearing clothes that he wouldn't wear in a million years. Something akin to gray sweats and a big white shirt with socks. His closet was filled with light colored clothes and not his regular black ensembles that he was used to. He had chosen easy simple clothes.

A pair of loose fitting jeans and a green shirt. This guy really needed a lesson in shopping. He woke up in a place that was not his Sunnydale. All he wanted to do was get up, wait until the sun went down and get out of the Hellhole, but he was stuck now. Sure he said he would just take off, but how could he. This wasn't what he really wanted.

Sure as a vampire there were a few things he missed. The sun was one of them, but he loved being a vampire. Maybe he had a chip, but he had enough sense to enjoy his time as a vampire. Being a vampire was his destiny. This...being the leader and things just weren't him. He just couldn't stand it right now. So here he stood or rather sat on one of the park benches soaking up the sun. It had to be at least three, but as a human he couldn't tell the time by the way things smelled anymore.

He had only seen the park during the night and it was always dead and cold like the cemeteries. During the day it was full and vibrant. Things were alive. Parents were playing happily with their children. Teenage kids were walking around with each other. Couples were walking hand in hand with each other. Yeah this is exactly why he'd go back later.


"So you really think he'll come back?" Dawn asked for the umpteenth time since she got home from school.

It was weird to see Dawn so worried about Spike. She acted like he was her brother, which in this universe he was. Buffy was just another helper in the fight against evil. The roles were reversed. Things were very different here.

"Yes, is Spike is anything it's predictable. He'll definitely come back here." Buffy said.

"Oh that's good. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't come back. I know this isn't our Spike, but it our Spike's body." Willow said.

"Yeah I guess it is. Everything's so different here. Spike, the one that's here, well he's not exactly used to responsibilities. He is a vampire you know." Buffy said.

"Yeah we got that part of this whole confusing thing. It's just so weird to see him act this way. I mean we know it's not him, but it looks like him. It looks like my best friend, but it isn't. It's some other guy who just happens to be him from another dimension and how confusing is this." Xander said.

"It is very confusing. All these different memories. They seem the same from what you've told us, only in reverse. It's lie down worthy." Willow said.

"I promise Spike will come back. He just has to get things in order." Buffy said.

"I still don't understand all this. How this could happen." Dawn said.

"It doesn't look like a spell. I can't feel that any spell was done. Spells generally leave a sort of residue." Tara said.

"I thought you could only see that if you did another spell. You know like the time I did it to see if my mom was getting sick because of Glory." Buffy said. Everyone looked at her strangely.

"Right Spike did that not me."

"Well you're right, but usually witches who are empathic can feel it as well. It's like a weird sensation, but it doesn't fell like there was a spell done. And also when Spike was first leaving there was a sudden jolt of something. Some sort of feeling that I can't really comprehend. It was like it was trying to force itself on him and he was making it leave. Like it wasn't really the Spike from your dimension that was feeling it, but the Spike from ours." Tara said.

"Okay I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'what?'" Xander said.

"It's fairly simple, honey. Spike the vampire is getting feelings from Spike the Slayer." Anya said.

"Yeah that sums it up in a few amount of words." Tara said.

"Happy to help." Anya said with a big grin on her face.

"Feelings... that's it. That creepy guy at my work. He said to just let the feeling rush over you. We have to find him." Buffy said.

"That's all we have to go on. Some creepy guy at your work. A work that happens to be in another dimension. Yeah that's really helpful." Xander spat.

"Xander, she's just trying to help." Dawn said.

"Yeah well it's not helping." Xander said.

"Yeah well yelling isn't going to help." Willow said.

"We need to remain calm." Tara said.

"I'm trying, but we're down a Slayer here." Xander said.

Buffy listened to the Scooby Gang argue and wondered if that's how the gang back at her dimension looked like when she wasn't around. No one listened to her. She was the Spike of this dimension. No one cared about her. Buffy felt a weird sensation pass through her body. It was like a feeling of helplessness that seemed to be choking her even though she now didn't need to breath. It invaded her senses until all she could feel was that feeling. It was a mixture of sorts.

Pain, anger, hostility, but also loneliness and worthlessness. Like she had no place where she belonged. It was so strong and so heartbreaking. This was how this Buffy felt whenever she was around the Scooby Gang and they didn't listen to her and it was undoubtedly how Spike felt when he was placed in the same situation.

Buffy started coughing loudly and panicking. Nothing like this feeling had ever over taken her before. Her own feelings were strong, but it seemed like this was magnified.

"Buffy what's wrong." Tara asked softly.

"No, don't pretend like you care. You only use me for help." Buffy screamed.

"Is this our Buffy?" Xander asked.

"No I can still feel the other Buffy's presence, but like I said our Buffy's feelings are somehow making it through to her. Making her feel the pain that she goes through." Tara said.

"Is she doing it on purpose." Dawn asked.

"No, Dawnie it's most likely all part of the spell." Willow said.

"Buffy just calm down okay. The feeling will pass if you calm down." Tara said.

"How could you all be so mean. Making her feel like this. Oh it's so... painful." Buffy said not really listening to Tara's words.

"Buffy this is all part of something. If you just calm down maybe we can..." Willow began, but was cut of by Buffy's growl of pain.

She vamped. It was a weird feeling to vamp out. Buffy remembered doing so this morning, but that was out of sheer hunger. She thought back to the time when nightmares were running Sunnydale. She hadn't exactly 'vamped' then either. It wasn't painful like she imagined it would be. It was more like blinking and not feeling any different. She wouldn't be able to tell right now that she had a vamp face if it weren't for that slight tingle she got when she first shifted.

"Oh god what's going on?" Dawn asked in a scared voice.

"It's so painful she's vamping out to trying and make the pain go away." Willow said.

"Don't worry Dawn she can't hurt us. Chip remember." Xander said. Buffy heard none of this. She attacked anyway. She jumped at them only to fly back at the extreme pain in her head. Stupid chip.

"Okay, Buffy now that you got zapped, maybe you could calm down now." Xander said. Buffy didn't change back nor did she stop growling.

"Or not your call."

"She's just reverting back to old vampire ways. Keeping herself safe, but I doubt the pain's gone. I can still feel something lingering." Tara said.

"How do we make it go away?" Willow asked.

"We don't. She has too." Tara said.

"No offence meant or anything, but how. She doesn't exactly look like the most stable vampire in the world and no way am I going near her." Anya said.

"I don't know. She has to figure that out." Tara said.

"All right look I'm not doing this because... what the bloody hell is going on here." Spike asked.

He had finally decided to stop delaying the inevitable and go back to Buffy's house...his house. It was well after dark and he figured he might as well go there then have them search for him. Buffy, being a vampire now, would probably pick up on his scent. He wasn't prepared to see a growling vamp Buffy and awe struck Scooby Gang just staring at her.

"Well that's weird to hear." Dawn said.

"It's weird to say without the accent. Now what's going on here." Spike asked.

"Well we were just talking about possible ways to fix this mix up and Xander started getting all 'this isn't helping' on her and she freaked." Dawn said.

"She's not used to it. You're supposed to be her friends or at least that's how it is where we come from." Spike said.

"Sorry, man, it's just, you know after being so snide and mean to each other all these years, it's kind of hard to give up." Xander said in a friendly tone Spike wasn't used to.

"Yeah well what made her vamp out?" Spike asked.

"Well I guess the pain was too much to bear." Dawn said.

"Pain what pain?" Spike said with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Okay that's new to." Xander said.

"Well Xander you got to figure that if Buffy and Spike were totally reversed then this Spike is in love with this Buffy." Dawn said.

"Okay I'll pretend to get that." Xander said.

"The pain from the feelings." Tara said ignoring Dawn and Xander after seeing the anxious look on Spike's face.

"Feelings?" Spike said still confused although his anger had gone down.

"Early when you took off, you felt some sort of feeling right?" Tara asked.

"Yeah it was a weird twinge in my chest and it sort of felt like... guilt." Spike said snorting after he said guilt.

"Well it would appear that you're picking up on some of the feelings that our Buffy and Spike feel everyday. I'm guessing it was something really big for her to start acting like... that." Tara said pointing to the still vamped still shaking Buffy.

"Wait you said Xander was telling her that she wasn't helping." Spike asked.

"Yup very helpful he was." Dawn said.

"Oh I know what it is." Spike said.

"Do we get the inside scoop." Willow asked.

"It was a feeling of worthlessness." Spike said. "How could you possibly... oh right." Xander said.

"Wait she feels worthless. Our Buffy feels worthless. Because of us." Dawn asked.

"Oh not because of you bit. You're probably one of the only people that brighten up my...her day. It's sitting in on the Scooby meetings and having your ideas shoved in your face that'll do it." Spike said. The Scoobies looked at one another with guilt on their faces. Even Xander felt a twinge of guilt at the description of what Buffy felt. Spike slowly walked over to Buffy.

"Pet, you gotta stop shaking, okay." Spike said in the most soothing voice he could conjure up.

Buffy looked up at him with her yellow eyes. She seemed to be looking to the side of him rather then right at him.

"Okay?" Spike asked again. He placed a hand on her arm and she stilled.

"Good that wasn't so hard. Now maybe it would be better if you got off of the floor." Spike said. Buffy shakily tried to pull herself up. She was weakened emotionally and physically.

"Here, let me help." Spike said pulling her up and letting her weight be supported on him.

"Okay that's better. Let's get you upstairs and into your... my cozy warm bed." Spike said. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to calling this house his. Buffy moved forward on shaky legs. They walked up the stairs and to Spike's room.

Spike gently placed Buffy on the bed and as soon as he let go of her she fell asleep. Spike took that opportunity to give the room a quick once over. It didn't look like anything he would ever live in. It was a green color without a trace of black anywhere. There were a few posters of various bands that Spike knew the names of. The bed was a blue color and that stuffed pig that Buffy had was propped up on one of the pillows. Someone had made the bed while he was out.

A radio and CD collection sat in on of the corners of the room. Spike looked over the CD's. Some were things he would think of having, but others were totally not him. There was a New Found Glory CD in there for heaven's sake. At least the guy was into rock and not sissy pop or rap. He'd have to put the guy out of his misery if that was the case. The desk was pretty bare save for a few pictures. Pictures of him and Dawn and of him and Joyce and the one picture that looked so much like the picture of Buffy and the Scoobies that she had in her room. There wasn't a mirror in the room.

Spike opened one of the drawers. Stakes, crosses, and Holy water were the occupants of the first drawer. The other drawers were almost bare except for the papers and yearbooks. There was a least one stake in each drawer.

"Boy you over did it a little too much." Spike muttered. On the floor clothes were strewn everywhere and there was occasional empty Twinkie or Ho-Ho wrapper.

"You're a bit of a slob, too." Spike walked over to the closet. Plain clothes stood on hangers. Nothing special or outlandish about them. There were a few black items, but mostly blues and greens. His Doublemeat uniform stood in the back with various jackets.

"Well at least you don't dress like, Harris. And your shoes are okay." Spike mumbled picking up a pair of converse high-tops. Spike walked over to the nightstand. On it sat a clock and a small light. It was the only black piece of furniture that stood in the room.

There were two drawers in the nightstand. In the first drawer there were a few, of what this Spike would consider, valuable items. His high school diploma, which was a little burnt, was stashed away in a neat little corner. Letters were strewn inside the drawer.

Mostly bills, but at the bottom there were some from 'his dad' and others from various friends and relatives. The second drawer was a bit more full. Aside from the candy and assorted junk food, there were drawings and what appeared to be poems. Very good poems.

"So the nancy boy writes, and pretty good." Spike mumbled.

There were short stories and there appeared to be a lot of novel sized ones. All left unfinished. There was a leather bound book in the far corner. Spike flipped through the pages. It appeared to be a diary. It ended somewhere around the time he came to Sunnydale.

Spike neatly closed the book, placed it back in the drawer, and closed the drawer. He stood up and gave on final look at the room. It all seemed so human. Like a very boring, very normal twenty-something kid lived there. Well maybe not normal after looking in the small arsenal in the drawers, but from a quick glance it would appear normal enough.

"Weird isn't it." Spike looked over at the doorway. Tara was standing there just looking from him to Buffy.

"Were you staring?" Spike asked feeling a bit embarrassed for snooping around in other people's things. The feeling passed as he realized how ridiculous that was. Technically this was his stuff and he was a vampire what did he care if he was looking through other people's things.

"I've only been here for a minute. It's really weird isn't. To see your face in one of the pictures over there and know that somewhere else there's an exact same picture, but with someone else's face. That this room belongs to someone else, but it looks like it would be yours." Tara said.

"Well this Spike has to take a lesson in taste before I could call it anything I would live in." Spike said.

"Still it's weird to be caught in another dimension where nothings the same. I wonder how Buffy and Spike, the ones from here, or doing where you came from." Tara said.

"Probably not that much better then us. There are differences though so we can't be sure what's happening." Spike said.

"Yeah, I just hope they're okay. I mean the mass confusion alone is bound to make anyone go crazy." Tara said.

A silence fell over Tara and Spike.

"You know I know." Tara said in a soft voice.

"I figured you did. I mean from my dimension the birthday fiasco. Muscle cramp in my pants and all that." Spike said.

"Oh, yeah, confused for a second then I remembered that everything is all backwards where you come from. You told me about you two." Tara said.

"That means Buffy told the other about us as well. Never thought she'd have the guts to do that. I'm her little secret you know."

"And she's yours. I mean here anyway."

"Yeah I guess so. You know I just don't get it. I try to do everything I can to be the right person for her, but it's never enough."

"Well maybe that's because she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. She wants to admit that she feels something for you, but she's got people to think about."

Spike started pacing around the room.

"Why does she care? I try to see it and I still don't get it. If her friends are really her friends then why shouldn't they be happy if she's happy? Because they've created this image of her that she feels she has to live up to. A slayer isn't supposed to have friends or ties anyway. She's only obligated to two people: herself and Dawn." Spike said.

"Maybe that's why you've been switched and have the other Spike's feelings. He knows what your Buffy's going through. Maybe it has something to do with showing you why Buffy can't let herself admit how she feels." Tara said as though she were having an epiphany. Spike looked at her seriously.

"You think so. I mean could that be why we're trapped here?" Spike asked with hopeful eyes.

"Maybe. Maybe you guys have to do something big, but you can't do that if you're separated and fighting. So this wouldn't be a spell some witch cast on you and I wouldn't be able to feel the spell residue. Some higher power would have to have enough magic to pull this off and make it totally undetectable." Tara said.

"So what I'm just supposed to go through the feelings and go day by day trying to understand what Buffy goes through, while she what, sits around watching TV." Spike asked.

"Spike I really don't think that she'll be having a picnic. She can obviously feel the pain of the other Buffy so she's here to understand how you feel. Go through the things that you have to go through daily."

"Yeah well to her that would be a walk through the park."

"I don't think so. We got a taste of what exactly it would be like for her. She couldn't even take the pain. She had to revert to vampire form. She'll probably have some difficulties in the vampire department. You'll have to help her with that." Tara said.

"Yeah I guess I will. This is going to be a very long trip." Spike said with a sigh.

"Yeah well the sooner you guys figure out what the heck is keeping you here, you'll overcome it and be able to go back home."

"Yeah to an empty crypt and some old animal blood. Oh joy."

"It' can't be all that bad." Tara said.

"I was going to leave because of it. The whole being used thing doesn't sit well with me anymore."

"Well maybe she'll see the error of her ways and then you won't have a reason to leave." Tara said optimistically.

"You know that's what I always liked about you, Glenda." Spike said looking over at the witch sitting next to him.


"Oh just the fact that you can be upbeat and cheery no matter what the situation is. I guess the Scooby Gang here didn't change much. Harris is still a jackass. Anya seems to be her ex-vengeance demon self. Willow's got that peppy research will solve all problems attitude. Dawn's still an innocent teenager and you, well you're the most together of the bunch."

"Thanks I'll take that as a compliment."

Chapter 6:

Spike could feel his head pounding. Big time. He didn't remember much before he passed out. Little flashes came back to him but the bulk of his experience was a blur. One thing was for certain though. He was still in his vamp face. Spike shook his head repeatedly trying to figure out how to get rid of his demon features, but they would budge. How had it been so easy before, but now it was so hard to do.

"Hey don't hurt yourself. It's really easy to do you know."

Spike turned to see Buffy sitting in one of the chairs in his room like she was wanted in there; like she belonged in there and sitting in that chair that was next to his desk was the most normal thing in the world.

It was though. Here it definitely was. She was the one that belonged in this world and he was the outsider. The vampire that didn't really have a place so he hung around people who hated him because of some sense of whatever. This wasn't his room. The room itself looked like his, but the belongings weren't his. This bed wasn't his and that chair that Buffy sat in wasn't his.

"So you came back." Spike said looking at Buffy with his demon face.

"Yeah I guess you don't remember much after your little pouncing fest." Buffy said calmly.

She was obviously getting used to her voice being quote 'Southern California Preppy.'

"No I don't and if someone can please get into explain-y mode to tell me what the hell happened it would be greatly appreciated." Spike said.

"Maybe you might want to you know get rid of the face." Buffy said.

Spike closed his eyes and shook his head some more. After a few minutes of this with no results he stopped rubbing his temples to keep the dizziness at bay.

"It's not working." Spike said in the best whiney voice this Spike's voice would allow.

"Well that's because you're not concentrating on the task at hand. It's not like shaking of dust." Buffy said.

"Oh then what is it like oh great one." Spike asked sarcastically.

"Just close your eyes and think about not having your demon face." Buffy said.

Spike let out an over dramatic sigh and closed his eyes. He waited five minutes before saying, "Is it gone yet."

"No you're not concentrating."

"Yes I am. This is really hard. I don't know how you vampires do it. I mean you make it look so easy." Spike complained.

"Well most fledgings go awhile before learning how to change their face normally. Since you're a master vamp and were made to be a childe it shouldn't be that hard. Most minions keep their vampire faces on throughout their whole existence."

"Spare me the vampire lecture. Just tell me how to fix this." Spike said huffily.

"Geez such the baby. Always were. You should really learn to grow-up Slayer."

"Whatever just help me. Please?" Spike said.

"Well since you asked so nicely. Think about lemons." Buffy said.

"Lemons, why lemons?"

"Just do it."

"Do I have to close me eyes?"

"Probably the best to start out with."

"Okay so I'm closing my eyes and I'm thinking about lemons. Any special aspect of the lemon I'm thinking about?"

"Try remembering the sour taste they left in your mouth." Buffy said.

Spike did what he was told. For a second his nose scrunched up and his cheeks were sucked in as he remembered how sour lemons could be. Then his face changed back to normal.

"Did it work?" he asked eagerly.

"Yep, it worked. Lemon thing still works."

"Is that like a vampire trick of the trade or something you came up with on your own?" Spike asked.

"Actually Drusilla taught me that one."

"Oh." Spike said.

"Geez you're going to need someone to teach you all the vampire stuff aren't you?" Buffy said.

"Yeah I guess I am. Should be a weird experience."

"It will be. Great I never wanted a childe. That's why I never sired anyone. Now I have you to look after."

"Hey it's not like I don't know anything about vampires. I know stuff."

"Yeah how to kill them. One step out of this house and you might go into sensory overload. I don't think you want that."

"Sure whatever you say. Can we please go back to the meeting? Do you want to get back to our dimension or not."

"I do, but do you really think that's such a good idea. When you were out there you kind of went a little crazy." Buffy said.

"That was something weird. It's not going to happen again." "I don't know about that."

Spike looked at Buffy's face. She was hiding the truth from him, but she wouldn't be able to do it for that long. Her eyes always told the story.

"Something you aren't telling me?" Spike asked in a gentle voice.

"Well just that fact that it would appear. Well it would seem that things are, well there different, but something is happening... ... ..."

"Would you just spit it out already. For a great Big Bad master vamp you are a terrible liar."

"Well Tara and I came up with an idea that maybe we're here to feel some of the pain the other is feeling." Buffy said.

"Wait I don't get it." Spike said.

"Well we're feeling some of the feelings that the Buffy and Spike from this dimension feel on a regular basis. To show us what the other is feeling. A better understanding on things I guess."

"So that feeling that I was feeling earlier was really the other Spike's feelings. He really feels that worthless." Spike asked.

"Yeah I guess he does." Buffy said.

"And if he feels that worthless then you... ... ..." Spike stopped himself from finishing that sentence.

"It's no big deal then. The sooner we realize what the other is feeling the sooner you can go home to your Scoobies and do all the stuff that Slayers do." Buffy said.

"So does this mean that you're going to do all the stuff that this Buffy has to do. Go to work and do all the stupid crummy stuff."

"Yeah I guess it does."

"So this is sort of like a day in the life of type of thing."

"I guess."

"Should be fun you know without actually being fun."

"Sure whatever you say."


"What do think they're talking about up there?" Anya asked after it had become eerily quiet in the kitchen.

"Buffy's probably explaining to Spike what's going on. You know the whole feelings deal." Willow said.

"So there just supposed to go around feeling what the other is feeling and it's supposed to what teach them something." Xander asked.

"That would appear so. I guess we'll just have to see the results." Tara said.

"So there really is nothing we can do for them. We just have to sit and wait." Dawn said.

"Basically Dawnie. I know this is a lot to take in because Buffy's gone and everything, but some higher power saw fit to do this and they just have to see how it plays out." Tara said.

"Good." Dawn said.

"What how is this good Dawnster?" Xander asked.

"Now maybe Buffy will come back with a new appreciation for life. You know 'Hey I was pulled out of heaven, but at least I'm not a vampire.' It could serve her right. Then she'd also be able to feel all the crap Spike has to go through and take just because he loves her and wants to make right on his promises and everyone will stop treating him like crap because the all mighty leader told them it was okay." Dawn said.

"Dawn we don't deliberately treat him like crap. Okay that didn't come out like I wanted it to." Willow said.

"Sure you guys do. I try not to because I can see where he's come from, but you do treat him like an outsider. You always have. It's sad really that you treat him differently just because he's a demon." Anya said.

"Anya this isn't a demon rights discussion here. We aren't discussing being racist against demons or anything like that. We simply just don't get along with Spike." Xander said.

"Have you ever tried. Have you ever once sat down and said 'hey Spike let's go out for a beer and discuss sports.' No because you're to busy seeing only black and white to realize what you're doing." Anya said.

"The only reason he acts like this is because of the chip. If the chip was out he'd kill us all." Xander said.

"Well maybe not kill you Harris, but I'd certainly think about wounding you severely." Xander turned around to see Buffy and Spike standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Yeah that's the way to get accepted Buffy. Why not just tell the people that you're trying to get along with that you want to rip out their entrails." Spike said.

"Rip out there entrails. You're getting good at this."

"And that scares me. So what do we have here besides un-constructive arguing." Spike asked.

"We've got a theory." Willow said.

"Okay d�j� vu and not in a good way. Let's never say the phrase 'I've got a theory or anything remotely like it." Xander said.

"Yeah the musical fiasco should teach us that much." Anya said.

"Okay then there's an idea floating around that maybe just maybe some higher being did this to teach you guys a lesson." Willow said.

"So that's it. There's nothing we can do about it. Just like live with it." Spike said.

"That would about sum it up. Maybe you should stay close though. Let's not have you going back to your crypt. You can stay in the basement." Willow said.

"Ha! You have to stay in a basement." Buffy said. The group turned and looked at her oddly.

"What I can't be happy that the roles are reversed and now the precious Slayer was to stay in a basement of doom." Buffy said.

"Hey my basement wasn't that bad." Xander said.

"Sure it wasn't and pigs like to fly on little wings." Buffy said.

"I can do the basement. Sure it's icky and was recently flooded and there was that one time we found that dead cat... do you think maybe I could sleep on the couch. Now that I think about it the basement gives me the wiggins." Spike said.

"Sure I guess you could sleep on the couch. It's not that comfortable though." Willow said.

"It's better then a cot in the basement." Spike said.

"You'll have to pull the blinds closed though. So you don't get extra crispy." Dawn said.

"That I can do." Spike said.

"Great now that that's settled can we please get some food I'm starved." Anya said.

"Food. Real food." Buffy said.

"Yup pizza or Chinese?" Dawn asked.

"Pizza definitely pizza. No maybe Chinese. Well I didn't like Chinese when I went there, but it might taste different now. They come in those neat little boxes. And there'll be taste to them. I don't know someone else choose." Buffy said.

"Geez Buff, it's a choice between two things. Not a life or death deal here." Dawn said.

"Yeah, but its food. It's real food. You know as a vampire you can't really taste the food. It doesn't give you nourishment so it's basically tasteless. Eating really food as a human. That leaves a taste in your mouth." Buffy said.

"Okay well if she's letting us decide it's pizza all around. How about two large pepperoni pizzas. Should be good." Xander said.

"Yup order away." Willow said.

"Well speaking of food and all that is nourishment I think I might need to go back to... my crypt and pick up a few things." Spike said.

"Sure thing." The group responded.

"Okay then I'll be on my way. Be back in a few minutes." Spike said getting ready to leave.

"What you can't just go off on you own." Buffy said.

"Are you volunteering to come with."

"Sure why not. We're just waiting for food anyways. Should take awhile." Buffy said.

"Okay then let's go." Spike said opening the door and walking out of it.


Buffy and Spike walked in silence all the way to Spike's crypt. The whole way Spike felt his skin tingling and could smell the pizza place that was at least two blocks away. Buffy was right about one thing. The extra sensory detail was giving him a headache.

"Is there away to turn off my nose?" Spike asked Buffy when they were in front of the crypt.

He could smell the heady smells of the not so great Sunnydale sewer system and that added to the crickets chirping in the distance were enough to make his head explode.

"I told you that the enhanced sense would get to you. Should have just stayed back at... my house. Would be safer there." Buffy said pushing open the door.

"Hey, I'm not defenseless. So what if the senses are going into overload. Nothing I can't handle." Spike said stubbornly.

"Right sure whatever you say. Wow this place is a dump." Buffy said.

"It's not that bad." Spike said feeling somewhat defensive over the dank crypt. Buffy gave him a questioning look.

"Okay so it isn't your lap of luxury crypt, but it's...cozy on the bottom."

"Well at least you have a TV. Albeit it is a little beat up and dumpster chic."

"Well I don't think he can put on the seductive thing and shaky his boobs all over the place." Spike mumbled. Buffy looked at him with a gleam in her eyes.

"Jealous, pet."

Spike's eyes narrowed and he snorted.

"Hardly. I don't care what you do with yourself. That's your own sordid deal. I'm going downstairs to gather some clothes. You get the blood okay." Spike said.

"Sure whatever." Buffy said as she watched Spike descend to the lower level of the crypt.

She carefully made her way to small fridge that sat atop a sarcophagus. She opened the filthy little door and stared inside. There were a few packets of blood, not in hospital tags like hers had been in, but regular butcher most likely cow blood that could come in any meat type product.

There was beer, lots and lots of beer. In the far left corner of the fridge hidden behind the beer and the blood was a few chocolate bars.

"Well at least the guy likes chocolate." Buffy muttered grabbing the remaining bags of blood and stuffing them into a bag she had enough sense to grab before leaving. If caring around several bags of cow blood wasn't suspicious then Buffy didn't know what was.

"What is up with these clothes. I mean could they scream creature of the night any louder. All black and dark colors. And these pants look like they have to be plastered on." Spike said throwing the bag of clothes to the top and climbing up the rest of the way.

"It's his look. I mean you have to think rationally now, pet, the guy is a creature of the night." Buffy said.

"Yeah, but he's all chip head-y now. He could at least change his pants to be looser." Spike complained.

"Maybe you could borrow some of Harris's clothes. I'm sure he won't mind too much." Buffy said.

"Right, Xander hates me or at least this Xander does. Am I supposed to just say 'Hey Xander listen I know you hate me, but can I borrow some less skintight pants. These ones are getting uncomfortable. Why wear something that feels like it's going to cut off your circulation."

"Because he doesn't have any circulation."

"Oh right, but still. I really hate this you know that right." Spike said.

"Yeah I caught on to that fact."

"It's just not fair. What did I do? I mean sure I haven't been myself lately, but come on. I don't deserve to be a vampire." Spike said slumping into the chair that was in front of the TV.

"Well that's the thing about higher powers. Think they can just play us like puppets all in the name of good." Buffy said.

"But you're not even good."

Buffy glanced in his direction. After all this time and he still thought she was evil.

"Right of course I'm not good. What was I bloody thinking? Let's go." Buffy said walking towards the exit.

"Hey don't get all made and sarcastic at me. I'm just stating the obvious." Spike said.

Buffy let out a sigh. It was weird to do that out of necessity rather then just because.

"You mean after all this time you still think of me as a soulless evil dead thing." Buffy said.

"Hey you're the one who's always talking about the shadows and all the stuff. The one who's always saying that you're in the dark. Telling everyone that you're the Big Bad so excuse me if I still think so to." Spike said.

"You know I don't even know why I bother. It's clear that you... ... ... this is precisely why I was going to leave in the first place. You know what I'm tired of arguing. It isn't getting us anywhere. Let's just focus on getting the hell out of this dimension." Buffy said.

"No." Spike said.

"No what?" Buffy said with a confused look on her face.

"No, obviously we're stuck here because we don't argue enough."

"I don't even want to know how that twisted little brain of yours came up with that one."

"Seriously Buffy. We're here to experience what the other goes through on a daily basis. Well Buffy so far all I've seen you go through is eating and feeling worthless. So tell me when does the really hard stuff start. It seems to me that all you do is sit around all day doing absolutely nothing. My life is hard Buffy. My life is complicated and full of badness. Where do you get off whining because I don't think of you as a good guy."

"I'm not. That's why I said let's just drop it. The food's probably already there and if the whelp here eats anything like the whelp in our dimension then there'll be nothing left." Buffy said.

"Yeah right this is all very easy for you right." Spike said.

"As much as it may appear that I'm making the best of this situation I'm not exactly thrilled about being human."

"Why would you be when you just love being a vampire." Spike said snidely.

"Well it's true you know. I don't exactly like being human. Sure there's the benefit of the sun, but that doesn't outweigh all the crummy things you humans have to go through on a regular basis." Buffy said.

"Oh like what?" Spike asked.

"Well for starters it's been over a century since I've had to go to the bathroom and I've already went twice today." Buffy said.

Spike couldn't help but laugh slightly at that.

"Okay now, let's get back so I can see if pizza tastes as good as I imagine it would."

"You really can't taste anything as a vampire?" Spike asked.

"Well sort of. If it's spicy then there's usually some flavor. It's all about texture for a vampire though."

"That why you eat those onion blossoms and spicy chicken wings all the time?" Spike asked.

"That and those onion thingies are amazing."


"Whoa, Buffy slow down. That's like your fifth slice. The other Buffy would be upset if you make her all fat." Dawn said.

"She's too skinny anyway. Needs to gain some proper weight. I keep telling that one that, but he just doesn't listen." Buffy said pointing her thumb at Spike.

"And you'd think with all the Twinkies and Ho-Ho's he'd have gained some weight. His room is a literal pigsty." She said biting into the fifth slice of pizza.

"It's not that messy and besides I burn it off in the slaying." Spike said twirling his now cold blood with a spoon.

"Are you going to drink that or just play with it." Xander asked.

"Give me a chance to get over the ick factor will you. It's real life blood here people. Really gross." Spike said.

"You might want to warm it again. It's bound to be cold again by now." Dawn said.

"Dawn you shouldn't know blood tips like that. It's not healthy." Spike said.

"That's like twice in one day. I've been scolded by Spike twice in one day. This is going to be very weird."

"Yes, Dawn we've established that it's going to be weird. Are there any Buffalo wings left?" Anya asked.

"Yeah I think there might be two left." Willow said.

"I call dibs on one." Dawn said.

"And I claim the other one." Anya said picking up the buffalo wing and munching down on it.

Spike got up and put the blood back in the microwave for thirty seconds.

"You know if you keep re-heating it, its going to end up vaporizing it." Buffy said between bites.

"I didn't know that and I didn't want to know that, but thanks for being so thoughtful." Spike said taking the mug out after the loud ding.

"Spike you must be hungry. Just drink the blood already." Tara said.

"Yeah you can slay demons, but you can't drink some blood. It'll taste good you know. You are a vampire." Buffy said.

"Yeah, but its... icky." Spike said.

"Dawn's right. It is going to have to take some getting used to listening Spike talk like that. Spike just said icky." Xander said.

"Well, Xan, it is. I don't know of any other word for it." Spike said.

"Would you quit being a baby and just drink it already." Dawn said.

"You'll feel better if you drink it. You're stomach must be howling at how close to your nostrils that blood is. Trust me it won't taste bad. It tastes... ... ..."

"Coppery." Dawn said talking a drink of her soda.

The group turned their stares away from Spike and his blood problem to the teenager.

"What?" Dawn asked innocently.

"How do you know how blood tastes." Xander asked.

"Spike bet me to drink some one time. Easiest ten dollars I ever made. It tastes like you swallowed a whole bunch of pennies though." Dawn said.

"Okay that's... really gross Dawn." Willow said.

"I second that." Xander said.

"And I third it. And I'm supposed to drink something that tastes like pennies. I don't think so. I'd rather starve." Spike said.

"Do we have to force feed you Mister." Tara asked.

"That could be fun. We could all jump on him and make him drink the blood." Anya said.

"No, no that's okay. I think I'll drink it on my own." Spike said.

"Try thinking about it as hot chocolate. That should make it less hard to drink." Dawn offered.

"I don't know. Well here goes nothing." Spike said. He lifted the drink to his mouth.

The group watched as a tiny bead of blood slid it's way down the surface of the mug and into Spike's open waiting mouth. Spike lapped up the blood and actually enjoyed the taste. He quickly took the mug away from his lips and placed it on the counter.

"There see nothing to worry about. Tasted good right." Buffy said.

"It was kind of thick and soppy. Needs more... texture." Spike said bringing the mug up to his mouth again for more.

"Oh Spike always liked to mix in some Wheatabix in the blood. Said it gave it some texture." Dawn offered.

"Yeah and he always stole herbs from the Magic Box to give it a spicy taste." Anya said.

"Anya if you know that he's stealing herbs then why do you let him do it." Xander asked.

"Because those herbs don't sell that well anyway. I purposefully get them for him. Figure it's the least I can do." Anya said.

"I knew it. There was always a big supply of that stuff around and it's only good for binding spells. I knew you didn't need to keep it stocked up so much." Buffy said. The group looked at her weirdly.

"Sorry. Remind me to thank Anyanaka when we get back to our dimension." Buffy said to Spike.

"Yeah sure thing. Well I think it's time for you to start getting ready for bed." Spike said to Buffy.

"What I have a bed time?" Buffy asked.

"Well Buff you do have an early shift in the morning." Xander said.

"At what time?" Buffy asked.

"I believe you said it started at about seven. Maybe six-thirty." Willow said.

"You've got to be kidding me?" Buffy said.

"Nope I kid you not. Don't worry. Working for money is great. You'll fit right in as a tool of society." Anya said.

"Oh that's just great." Buffy said.

"Hey you're the one who said you could do it." Spike said smiling smugly something that had been rare on him for awhile even if this was another Spike's body.

"One of these days Slayer. One of these days when you least expect it I'll get you back for this."

"Talk on Miss Big Bad. Me, I think I'll enjoy a good day in front of the TV tomorrow. Have fun at the Doublemeat hell."

Chapters 7 and 8

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