Cavemen Always Win

Cavemen Always Win


Chapter 7:

I'm waking up... slowly though because last night... well last night was a bit er... energetic. Don't remember the last time I've been shagged for so many hours straight. Probably the last time Angelus was around, but that wasn't exactly... pleasurable. Last night... that was something.

I hadn't planned to give up my resolve. I was supposed to go down there and kill him... or at least give him a bit of a talking to. Course it's kind of hard to give someone a talking to when their cock is down your throat or other places.

I can't even remember everything that happened. It's all pretty much a big blur. There was a fair amount of shagging and sucking and a bit of kissing because for some reason Angelus likes that.

I think it has to do with the teeth. So now I'm his again... feels different. In fact I can't even feel the pull. Usually when you've been claimed there's this... pull. You're very compliant. I feel like my old self.

"Aye, my head." I hear from behind me. I turn around to look at my Sire.

"What... Where am I... who are you... why am I in your bed... I couldn't have been that shlossed." He says. He looks different very different.

"Angelus, what are you talking about?" I ask. "

My name's not Angelus. I don't know who this Angelus person is, but it certainly isn't me." He says.

I look at him closely. He's red... or at least a tint of pink. I listen closely... a heartbeat. Something very strange is going on here.

"Okay, than mate, what is your name?" I asked.

"Liam Patrick McBrady." He says.

"Bloody hell." I mutter.

"Look, mate..."

"I'm not your mate. You're English and I don't associate with Englishmen." He says getting up from the bed.

He must notice that he's naked because he blushes and then picks up one of the extra blankets and wraps it around himself.

"Haven't been in the Mother country for awhile now." I reply.

"Even so... father always said that my drinking would lead to some thing like this... but you don't seem that strong. You're kind of scrawny if you ask me. How could you have overpowered me and taken me to this... place." He says looking around at the cell.

I'm suddenly very glad that all the other little Wolfram and Hart experiments are locked away in cages far away from here. I don't know much about Liam. He's a bit of a mystery to me.

The most I know is that he had an asshole father, liked to drink and whore about and he was Catholic... though probably not so into his faith because of the drinking and shagging. He seems a bit... young. Maybe no older than eighteen. He was turned at twenty-six that much I know for sure... he probably doesn't even know what America is.

"I must have been drunk." He says again looking at me.

"I'm a lot tougher than I look." I say with a grin.

"So what is it you want with me. Are you some kind of heathen that likes engage in perverted acts? Did you take me as prisoner?" He asks.

"I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do with you. You're human, that much I know for sure. Those bloody Powers are gonna have to do a lot of explaining when this is all over I can tell you that much." I say.

"What are you talking about?" He asks.

"Oh nothing. Just babbling."


"Yeah it's... it's when you talk about things that aren't important at a fast pace... I think."

"So what are your intentions for me... am I some sort of casualty? Does this have to do with the English rule? Am I a hostage?" He asks.

I massage the side of my head. This is all getting to be too much. First I have to deal with Angelus and now if have to deal with Liam. What are the Powers trying to do? Am I being punished for something here? I bet they're all up there having a pretty good laugh at my expense.

"Like I said I'm not exactly sure."

"Well how can you hold someone in a cage and not know exactly what you plan to do with them. You're not very good at this." He says.

"There was a time that I was excellent at this. Just hold up a minute will you. I'm not exactly sure how to say this." I say.

"Say what?" He asks.

"That you're in the future... 2004 to be exact." I say.

He stands there with his blanket wrapped around himself staring at me as though I were crazy. Then... he laughs. Good hearty laughs of someone who needs air to breath. His face is red and he's got a huge smile on his face. His blanket almost slips because he has to hold his stomach he's laughing so hard.

"2004... that would mean I'm... it's three hundred years... from my time." He says laughing still.

It's amazing. I've laughed this hard before. When I was a vampire it didn't hurt. In fact I could probably laugh forever and not take a breath. I don't remember much about when I wasn't a vampire.

I don't think I laughed much though. He's laughing very hard. Turning a little red and he's coughing a bit. I stand up and pull on some pants. I walk over to him and pat him on the back. He coughs a bit more and gradually stops laughing.

"That was a funny joke. Now, please tell me where I am." He says. I sigh.

"You're in the future. Come on look around you. I'm sure your home was made of mud and straw. Does this look like mud and straw." I say walking over to the bars. I made the stupid mistake of touching them and got zapped for my trouble.

"OW!" I say yelping back as the magic flows through my hand. It's like a static shock that courses through your whole body.

"What the... what was that?" He asks his eyes wide and staring at my hand that's burning.

"That was something from the future... or well I'm not sure if it's from the future or not, but it hurt." I say.

"Are you okay?" He says with a worried expression on his face.

"I'll be fine. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to get out of here, but other than that everything's fine." I say.

"Wait, you hold me captive, yet you yourself has no idea of how to get out of this... cage?" He asks.

"Sorry... Liam, but I didn't have any intention of coming in this cage in the first place. I thought at the very least I'd be able to get out. Apparently Wes's got it rigged so that anyone in the cage can't get out." I say.

I don't know what kind of madness this is, but it needs to stop now." Liam says. I sigh.

"I wish it could end. I have now idea what's going on here." I say. Before I know what's going on he pushes me against the wall.

"You will let me out of here right now or I will harm you." Liam says his arms pressed against my chest.

"Let go of me right now." I say.

"Let me out." Liam says through gritted teeth.

I didn't mean to hurt him. I really didn't. Years with the chip and I'm still trying to gauge my strength without it. Sometimes I'm off when I'm dealing with humans. Of course that's not very often.

I pushed him off of me and he flew backwards at such a force that he hit the bars of the cage with a crack and flew forward. I walked over to him. He's got a big gash in the back of his head and his back was a bit burned from the magical cages.

"Bollocks. This isn't good. Someone HELP!"


"Oh so it's okay for you to give him a gash in the back of the head and burns from the magical cages, but we just bump his head against a car door and we get spit up and chewed out." Gunn says to me from the side of Angel's bed.

Wesley just happened by the computer that had the monitoring system hooked up and ran down to see what was happening. He didn't ask any weird questions and went about his looking over Liam.

He didn't even say anything when he saw that Liam was human. I couldn't explain it even if I had tried. We took him up to his pent house and Wes had one doctor that he thought he could trust look Liam over. The doctor gave him some sort of salve for his back and stitched up his head.

"I didn't know what I was doing. Had he been a vampire this wouldn't be happening. I guess I don't know my own strength." I say.

"I'm still not getting it. I mean I'm sensing that he's a human. In fact I can tell just from the change in energy, but... how?" Lorne asks.

"Well it must have something to do with the Powers. Part of this transition thing." Wes says.

"I really wish they would stop jerking us around like this." Gunn said.

"You and me both Charlie boy." I say.

I feel my stomach growl. Last night took a lot of blood out of my system and I'm feeling the effects of that today. Call it crashing like when you're on acid.

"I'm gonna heat up some blood." I say walking out of the bedroom.

I pulled out a packet of blood, opened it, and poured it into a mug. I opened the microwave door and started to heat it for a few minutes.

"So, you trying to hide that bite mark on purpose." I look up and see Lorne standing in front of me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Well I may not be the best expert at vampire mating rituals, but I know there's some biting involved."


"Don't try and play innocent. It's sort of a part of the anagogic thing."

"What's part of the anagogic thing?"

"The ability to tell that you had sex last night. Now I'm just going to take a stab in the dark here, but I would guess that it was with Angelus. Can't exactly read him now can I, but I'm pretty sure considering you were locked in a big cage for awhile."

I looked down ashamed that it was so easily read. Why didn't anyone tell me that Big Green could do something like that?

"Ah, so I am right. You and Angel of yore had some after hours work going on yesterday. And now all of a sudden we've got Liam on our hands." Lorne says.

"You think that's related to this?" I ask.

"I have no idea what to think, but I'm pretty sure this is one puzzle that we aren't going to be able to figure out until we have all the pieces." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but before I can say anything I look up to see the beginnings of another portal.

"We might want to duck for cover." I say.

"Oh, crap. I certainly do hate portals." Lorne says as we get down on the ground.

It takes a few minutes before we here a familiar bang. There's two yelps coming from Angel's room so I assume that Charlie and Wes didn't know what was going on.

"That was even bigger than the last one. I think you need to cool it with the ginger root, princess." Doyle says. Lorne and I stand back up. Sure enough there is the Prom Queen and the Mick in billowy white robes.

"It was just fine. No one's fatal injured." Cordelia says.

"Yet." I hear the mick whisper under his breath.

"So, any reason why the two of you are back here?" I ask.

"Checking in, like we said." Doyle says.

"And the reason you're checking in?" I ask.

"Yeah, would it have anything to do with the fact that Angel's human counterpart is in the picture." Lorne asked.

"Well, sort of. So he's here, huh." Cordy says.

"Yup, he's here. He's here and he's a little banged up." Lorne says.

"Yeah we saw all that, but he's here right?" Doyle asks.

"He's here, why are you so fixated on him being here?" I ask.

"Because Doyle is in what I like to call denial. He really thought it was going to be another week, but turns out that guy with the weird blue markings wins." Cordy says.

"Okay that was cryptic without actually trying to be cryptic." I say.

"I know I've gotten really good at being cryptic. Let's just say that you need to be a little more careful with this form of Angel. He's human and if he dies I think fragile balances will be disrupted." Cordelia says.

"You mean if he dies then that's it. Angel never becomes a vampire?" Lorne asks.

"Something like that. We couldn't just make another Liam so we had to bring that one back. It's all very complicated with time travel aspect of it." Doyle says.

"Could have told us that before." I say.

"Well we figured that you would lock Angelus up in a cage. With Liam anything's game." Doyle said.

"So don't let him play in the street. We've got it." Lorne said.

"Just keep a close eye on him. We'll check in again soon enough." Cordelia said and with that they were gone. Lorne and I rushed over to Angel's room where Wesley and Charlie were lying on the ground knocked out.

"The mick should really do the portal spells if this is the end result when the cheerleader does them."


He's been asleep for a little while now. Charlie and Wes work up a little while ago and spent some time discussing Cordelia and Doyle's visit. They decided to go back down to the hornet's nest and try and get back to work. Lorne stayed for a little while before he left as well. It's just him and me... again. Seems that the troops are just going to let me handle all of this. They're a real big help.

I'm not sure how I'm going to explain all of this. It's going to take a lot more than just the conversation I had with Angelus. Liam doesn't believe in all the supernatural stuff. If the whole Catholic thing is true than supernatural stuff would just confuse him.

I can tell he's waking up right now. I can see his eyelids fluttering. I can hear his breathing increase. I can hear his heartbeat racing a bit faster. All signs that a human is waking up. This is Angel human. He looks different. Much different from Angel and even more different from Angelus.

"Ow." I hear him mutter.

"Want something for the pain?" I ask.

"How... how did you do that. You couldn't be stronger than me. Where am I?" He asks again.

"It's kind of hard to explain. Let's just say I'm a bit stronger than you. I told you where you are." I say.

"The future. Right, I don't believe you."

"I know you don't, but look around. Does this look like stuff that you would see in your time?" I ask. He takes a look around as if barely noticing the room he's in. His eyes widen a bit.

"So... I'm in the future. Very far in the future apparently. Am I going to go back home?" He asks.

"I don't know. I'm not exactly sure how it all works. I would say that you are going back home. When, I can't tell you." I say.

He sits up and leans against the headboard. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths before opening them again looking at me with those big brown eyes.

"If I'm going to be here awhile... I might as well get to know my surroundings."

Chapter 8

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