Mood:
happyNow Playing: Sarah MacLaughlin - Blackbird
Hi,
My name is Nick Andre and your mommy and I have been together since Jan 2005 although we've known eachother since Oct 2004. There are so many things that I want to write to you but basically I just wanted to write you a short letter to say that your mommy really loves you and thinks about you all the time. She wants you to grow up to be happy and she loves you and is proud of you. You mean the world to her.
I only saw you a few times and the few times I did see you, all you did was smile at the stranger in your house. Your mother and I love eachother very much and there are a million things we want to say to you about relationships and life and all that mushy stuff, lol.
I guess what I want to say to you is that you can be whoever you want to be in life. Don't let anyone tell you how you should live your life; you have to figure that out on your own. You are a smart little girl and you obviously get that from your mother.
Don't ever be afraid to express your feelings or say whats on your mind. People who bottle things up and don't share how they feel grow up to be sad people and thats not what you want to be.
School is a good thing, and don't ever be afraid to ask for help if you're stuck on something. The most important thing you can do in school is to learn everything and make friends with the right people. Stay away from people (guys especially) who don't have anything going for themselves. All I can say about that is to try your best, even if you end up with bad grades, at least you tried. I used to be a straight A student that eventually got failing grades because I gave up and didn't try.
Your mother and I don't really have very much in common but what we do have is unconditional love and understanding and compassion. I love music and hope you grow up to appreciate music, maybe you'll be in a rock band and play some wild shows (can I come?) Maybe you'll get into art and photography and grow up to travel the world and see the wonders of the world. Maybe you'll get into philosophy and the meaning of life and go on to university to study psychology. Whatever you decide to do in life, your mother and I will be proud of you. But Bailey please try your best and don't give up. Please don't drop out of school because you won't have very many options other than asking people if they want fries with that, lol. Your mother and I never finished school but we wish we would have. If anything, we miss prom. :)
Your going to grow up and meet all kinds of people in your life, but theres one thing you have to learn and that is, you have to learn intuition. What that means hunny is you have to learn how to tell whoes good and whoes bad. And stay away from the bad. Your mother and I have experienced some very, very bad people and we've made mistakes that will haunt us for the rest of our lives. When you learn intuition, you will be able to tell within minutes if someone is being honest with you or if they're a liar. And if your gut feeling tells you that something isn't right, listen to your gut feeling because its usually right.
It is my only hope that you'll grow up to be happy and successful and not harbor a lot of resentment towards your mother because she made certain decisions in life. Its okay to be angry with your mother and its okay to tell her how you feel. Please don't ever hide how you feel about your mom because she thinks the world of you and only wants you to be a happy little girl who has the whole world ahead of her. Its your world and we're just living in it. :)
When you get older, you're going to be told in life that the only way to fit in is to party and do things that aren't healthy, like drinking and drugs. Please listen to your heart and understand that you have to be you, and not what other people tell you you should be. Don't pay attention to people or books or tv or magazines that tell you that the only way to be popular is to be thin, good looking and the life of a party. You have to figure out who you are and when you live your life based on what makes you happy, you've got it made and nothing stands in your way. If you do decide to "experiment", your mom and I understand and have been there before. Please talk to us if anything ever bothers you or you have questions about anything like that. We won't be angry with you if you try certain things, so long as you're honest and don't try to hide anything. You have nothing to hide with us and we love you unconditionally. We just want you to be a happy little girl who will grow up to be a successful woman who has the world by the tail and lets nothing stand in her way.
Anyways you're probably a busy little girl who doesn't have time to read my rantings, but just remember that I think you're special and you don't have to call me dad or anything. You don't even have to like me if you don't want to. I completely understand. You will go through certain phases and emotions and its okay to feel how you feel. And yes eventually you'll think that parents aren't cool and you just want to stay in your room and be by yourself. We completely understand and we've both been there. You just have to be honest with how you feel and please talk with your mother about anything that bothers you or you have questions about.
I don't know what I'll be doing when you're old enough to read this, but if things go my way, your mom and I will be building a life together and have a big house and a pool in the backyard and a big barbeque and two cars in the driveway and of course, most importantly, your own bedroom. If for some reason your mom and I are not together, you are more than welcome to track me down and talk, and talk about anything. Your mom and I are working very hard to have a life together and do things right. We are trying to build a life that one day you can be a part of, permanently, but thats something for your mom to talk to you about when you're old enough to understand. I can never be your father but I can be a dad, and if thats not cool with you, I can at least be someone in the house you can talk to.
Olivia just remember that you are in my thoughts always and your mother loves you so much its impossible to explain in a blog or website.
*Nick*