Chapter 1: Ashley High
Ashley High
It was my 1rst day of junior high and I had already gone to the wrong room twice, I was guessing that was some kind of record. “Don’t worry about it, Ash’, everyone does that sometime or another.” my friend Ben said. “Yea, but should it happen twice?” I asked, nervous. He just smiled like he always did and patted me on my back. “Go get ‘em tiger.” he said as he walked into his classroom. I sighed and tried my best to make it to gym class. “Calm down, Ashley. How hard could it be to find a gym?,” I told myself as I looked down at my schedule, “Okay, I need to go to number 261...” I said, out loud. I looked at the signs that told you where you were, “I’m at 470-490?! Oh no!” I yelled. I held my books closer to me and ran like mad to gym, which you probably figured out, I was late to. “Oh honey,” my mom said in that way that you always feel a sigh coming on, “was it really that bad?” she asked. I must have been pouting because she gently grabbed my chin and lifted it. “Don’t judge your new school by the first day!” she said, encouraging. “But Mom...!” I started. “But nothing. I want you to go to that school and say, ‘I won’t get lost in you today because you don’t scare me anymore!’ then you’ll feel better.” my mom says, as she carefully places the placemats onto our dinner table. “If I talk to myself people will think I’m crazy. I’m not gonna do that.” I said, with a bit of an attitude. My mom sighed. “Look, I know you were disappointed high school wasn’t as great as you thought but that was only the first day! Give it a try, Ash. It’ll get better.” my mom said. She walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the chicken, walked back in the dining room and placed it on the table. “Ready to eat?” she asked. I nodded and started to place food on my plate. “Oh, yea. Ashley, could you get your brother down here?” my mom asked. I got up. “Sure...” I said as I walked away. I ran up the steps to his room and swung open the door. He was sitting on the floor, doing his Algebra homework. “Scared of the first day, are we?” he said, sarcastic, “don’t worry, baby sister, I’ll protect you!”. More sarcasm. “Hmm, well I guess I won’t tell you dinner’s ready then.” I said. “You doorbell! You just told me!” he said. He got up, pushed me away and ran down the steps. I rolled my eyes and ran down after him. After dinner was finished, I bolted for my room to listen to the radio. Suddenly, a commercial for a model search came on the radio. I always wondered about me being a model. Posing for a camera in the most fashionable clothes, looking as stunning and beautiful as Marilyn Monroe. But I was alittle self-conscious about my body. I knew there were to many imperfections for me to be a model. The idea popped but the dream stayed.
“Hey Scaredy-cat, turn off your radio!” my brother yelled, his head popped halfway in my room. “Why?” I asked. “’Cause Mom’s taking ya shopping, thats why!” he yelled back. “Oh Ok. Thanks.” I said. He left. I smiled and turned off my radio and grabbed my parka. I live in Juneau, Alaska, it gets cold up here. As I put my other boot on, my brother poked me in the back. “Huh?” I asked. “Look, I know high-school can be a little scary and I’m sorry I was being so mean.” he said. Something wasn’t right here, my brother apologizing? “Uh, thanks?” I said, confused. “Yea, well don’t mention it.” he said, and walked away. I ran out of the house, still shocked. I walked to the van, opened the door, clicked the snow off my boots and shut the door. “Uh mom?” I said. “Yea hun...”she said, looking at me. “Did you tell Brian,” thats my brother, “to apologize?” I asked. She hesitated. “Well, I merely showed him he was being kinda mean, thats all.”. That means she told him to. “Oh Ok...” I said, hiding a small grin. She looked behind her as she backed out of our driveway. “See any of your old friends from Bear Creek?” my mom asked. Bear Creek was my middle-school. “Yea, I saw Mandy,” my best friend, “Ben,” my crush, “and I saw a glimpse of Julia and Samantha.” my other two friends. “Oh, thats nice, hunny.” my mom said, paying attention to the icy roads. “Yup. I like my English class. The teacher is real kind.” I added. This time my mom didn’t answer. “Yea, and my other class on how to speak Norwegian is interesting too.” I said, hinting if she was listening. “Thats wonderful, sweetie.” she answered. I grinned. “You listen so nicely, Mom.” I said, a bigger grin on my face. My mom looked at me. “Only the best for my little girl!” she said, smiling also. I laughed under my breath. I turned on the radio. “Wonderwall ” by Oasis was playing. “This is a good song. Can I turn it up?” I asked. “Not while I’m driving, Ashley.” she said, sternly. No loud music while you drive? Isn’t that what getting a car is for? I thought. I listened closely so I could hear it, without it being loud. When we reached the Mall, my mom parked our van as close as possible and we walked out. “How come you finally decided to get me new clothes , Mom?” I asked. “Well, I figured if you had new clothes that you really liked, you’d feel more comfortable in your school, not wearing out-of-style clothes.” she said. “Yea, that might work.” I said. I pointed out the store I wanted to go to and my mom went with me. I picked out a ton of stuff and my mom bought me whatever I wanted, which was cool since she never did that before. “Ashley, do you like this?” my mom said holding up a polka dotted shirt. I cringed. “Umm, its nice but...” I started. “I thought you’d like it. You use to have a little polka dotted dress when you were 5 and wore it almost every other day...so here. Try it on! I can’t wait to see it on you.” my mom said, a big grin plastered on her face. My whole body twitched and prayed the shirt didn’t fit or look right, with some uneven seam. But no, it was a perfect fit and it looked right. “Ashley! Come out! I wanna see it on you.” my mom said. I could feel the excitement in her voice. I walked out trying to keep a smile on my face. My moms face said it all, we were going to buy that shirt.
After that, I don’t remember much. The horror of it all kind of shocked me. My mom didn’t force me to wear it to school the next day but I knew I’d have to someday. I guess I should tell you alittle bit more about myself and my friends not to mention my million crushes that usually stay that way. Mandy Cedar, my best friend since kindergarten. Ben Harrington, my crush since kindergarten. Julia and Samantha, twins, two good friends I met at Bear Creek. Now I attended Eagle’s Nest High. Most high-schools are named after presidents but ours are named after the beautiful lakes that surround our small town of Cedar Creek. Cedar Creek is a wonderful town. Its alittle old fashioned but its beautiful. When I was little, I lived in Arizona but when my parents divorced we moved to Cedar Creek. The weather change took awhile to get used to. It was named after Mandy’s great-grandfather, Eli. “Ashley, what is the capitol of Ohio?” the teacher asked. “Umm, Detroit?” I answered. Ugh, Detroit! Its Columbus. Ben turned to me and mouthed ‘Columbus’. I knew that but straightened up and said Columbus anyway. “Right. Henry...” she said, asking another question to someone else. “Thanks,” I whispered to Ben, “I need to brush up on my states and capitols.” He smiled and nodded. “I do to...Umm, St.Louis, Alabama?” he said. I laughed and turned back into my seat. After class, Ben walked out beside me. I swear I almost fainted. “You wanna come over to my house today and we work on the history assignment together?” he asked. I think I said ‘yea’ because he smiled and walked away. Omg, is that a date?
After what seemed like a million hours of fourth period, I left for my locker. I unlocked it and when I flung it open, two notes fell out. “Oh cool!” I said and picked them up and stuffed them in my pocket. Normally, I would have read them automatically, but I was in such a hurry to get home, change into something ‘date-like’ and walk to Ben’s house. I put the history book and assignment in my book bag and slammed my locker shut. I ran down the stairs and when I was almost to the bottom, Ben called my name. I flipped around and saw him trying to make his way down to me. I swear he looks cuter when he’s acting like a fool. Ben has dark brown hair with some blonde highlights, blue-green eyes and a cute smile. He was tall which made it easy to find him in a crowd. “Hey!” I said. He just smiled. When we walked out, he ran into some girls and they cussed at him. I made a face. “You gotta look down when you walk, Ben! Down!” He laughed. “Are you gonna go home then to my house?” he asked. “Yea, thats what I planned.” I said. He shook his head in agreement. “Do you want me to walk you home?” he asked. I wanted to say ‘yes’ so bad but I accidentally said, “No thats Ok. I’ll be walking with Mandy, Julia and Samantha today.” I said. My heart collapsed. “Umm, Ok then! See ya there!” he said and ran towards the doors and walked out. I stood there with a blank gaze on the spot where he had run out at. I heard people calling my name, “Ashley! Go back to Earth!” it yelled. I came to. It was my friends. “Sorry there, I had a daydream.” I muttered. “Yea like were gonna believe that one again!” Julia said. “Were we thinking about a Mr. Ben Harrington??” Samantha persisted. “Come on guys, leave her alone.” Mandy said, in that little voice of hers. After Julia and Samantha had gone into their house, Mandy and I maintained our course. “Did you read my note?” she asked. “No I forgot, here, I’ll read it now.” Blah blah blah...now the next note. “Whose it from?” Mandy asked. “Its from Ben.” I answered. “Well read it!” she urged. I opened the neatly folded note and opened it. “Hey Ash, thanks for agreeing to come over to my house. Josh is coming if you don’t mind. See ya there...Ben.” I thought for a second and then said, “Could you come with me?” I asked. “Are you sure you want me to do this with you?” she asked. “I can’t do this without you...”I said nervous.
She and I walked in my door. My house was huge. It had 4 bedrooms, a big dining room, living room, and the master bedroom is none others than mine. “Come on,” I said, “What is the sexiest outfit I own?” I said, nervous out of my mind. She picked up what I had picked out. “A mini skirt? A tight white shirt? Ashley, this isn’t you!” she said. Did I mention Mandy was big on women’s rights and almost totally against men, except Josh Parker. “I know, I know! But its what Ben wants...”I mumbles. She stopped me from rummaging through my ton of clothes I never wear because they are to small or to tight. “Ashley, look at me,” she said. I looked up at her. “you don’t have to be anything. Would you want Ben to see you tonight, think you look real good but just because you wore some tight clothes?” she said. “No, I’d want him to like me for me...ohhhhh, I get it.” I said. “Yea, so put on some bellbottoms and a sweater and get your butt over there!” she yelled, encouragingly. “Yours too!” I yelled back. “I’m going, I’m going...don’t be pushy!” she said. She put her shoes back on, I pushed my head through my navy blue sweater with my white tee-shirt showing a little and put my shoes on. We grabbed our coats and ran out the door. “Where are you going?” my mom asked. “Hi Mrs. Moore!” Mandy said, her head peeked around the door. “Hi Mandy...where was that?” she asked again. “Ben’s. We’re studying our History and USA knowledge.” I said. “Well as long as thats all your doing. Are Mr. and Mrs. Harrington going to be there?” my mom asked. I saw around the corner. Brian had Becky over, his girlfriend, they were sitting close on the couch. “I think you should keep a better eye on them.” I said. My mom turned around and Mandy and me snuck out the door.
I was psyched! “I, Ashley Moore, am going to study with Ben Harrington...wow.” I said. We arrived at his house, frozen and shivering. Ben and Josh were looking out the window, waiting for us I guessed. My light brown hair felt completely stiff. Mandy’s coat was frosted over with a layer of snow. We walked up to Ben’s huge door and knocked. We stood there, dumb smiles on our faces, waiting for Ben to open the door. When it finally did, Ben looked at us. “Oh hi Mandy!” Josh said. He was sitting comfortably on the sofa. “Let me help you with your coat...” Ben said, gently tugging at my coat. “Thanks...” I said softly. He took it off and hung it on the coat hanger. He turned back around and smiled. “Oh, have you been in my new house before, Ashley?” he asked. “No, I don’t think so.” I answered. “Great, let me give you a tour.” he said. “Mandy too?” I asked. “Oh yea, her...too.” he stuttered. “Great.” I answered. “Oh no thats Ok, I’ll stay here.” Mandy said as we headed upstairs. She winked at me. “Okay, we’ll go to the top floor and work our way down.” he said. We stopped at our first room. “This is my sister, Cassie’s room. She’s messy and gone so we’ll just go to the next room, okay?” he said. I nodded. “Ben, where are your parents?” I asked. “Umm, not here.” he said. I am with Ben alone, no parents? Is there some catch here? “Oh really? Where did they go?” I asked. “They let us have the house alone but turned on the cameras. Josh and I already fixed that though, hee hee.” he said. I smiled at him. “What did you guys do?” I said, a silly smirk was on his face. “Well, we kinda poured canned cheese all over the lens.” Ben said. I gasped. He turned to me and laughed. “You are so bad, Ben!” I said. “Yea well, you know...” he said. We stopped at the next room. “Oh, this beautiful piece of work is my room. Wanna go in?” he asked. My breath stopped. Me? In his room? Alone? With him? “...you know, to look around.” he said. Oh...I get it now. “Sure. Lets see...,” I said, examining the room. His walls were covered with baseball players and hockey players. “Guys are on your walls? Hmmm...” I say, circling his bed. I notice a picture frame with all his friends, me including. “Oh, you kept my picture?” I ask. His face turned pale. “Uh yea, I kept all my friends pictures.” he said. Suddenly there were footsteps. Josh and Mandy came running into the room. “Ben! Hey buddy, what are you doing?” he asked. “Nothing, what’s up, Josh?” he asked, walking away from me. “Me and Mandy thought we should have a snowball fight. Wouldn’t that just rock?!” he said. A big smile appeared on Ben’s face. “Oh yea! Come on Ashley!” he said. Before I knew it, he was holding my hand and dragging me down the steps. The guys hurriedly slipped their boots and coats on, waiting very unpatiently for us. They had already started to make their snowballs. We finished putting our coats on and ran out. “Watch out boys! Were gonna beat you down!” I yelled. I get competitive when it comes to snowball fights. Mandy hid behind a tree and ducked every snowball that came her way. But I took every snowball I got unless I could dodge them. “Aww, my grandmother could throw harder then that!” I yell. I mush together a huge pack of snow and turn my direction to Ben. He puts on a fake scared face and runs like mad throughout his large backyard, me close behind. When I finally grab him, I pull him down, face up and sit on him, shoving the snow all over his face. He’s laughing. But all of a sudden the laughter stops. I realize I’m on top of him. My legs all of a sudden forget how to get up and walk. We didn’t talk. We just stare at each other as if we’ve never seen each before. I bend over, as if to kiss him, but I don’t. He shakes his head in astonishment. “I’m sorry...” I say as I get off him and walk away as if to leave. Mandy comes running around the corner. “Where are you going, Ashley?” she asks. Ben is still sitting there. “I’m gonna go home...” I whisper. She looks confused. Josh comes running around the corner and accidentally smashes the snowball he had been carrying in his hand, in my face. I start to cry, silently. Josh pauses then stares me deep in the face. “Ash, are you crying?” Josh asks. “No, no, snow is dripping down my face.” I say. “Oh, cause it looks...” Josh begins, Mandy shushes him. “Thanks Ben for inviting us...”Mandy says. As we walk away in the driveway, I turn to see if they laughing at me. They weren’t. They were on the front steps, talking. “Mandy, I can’t believe what I did.” I said. “What happened, Ashley?” she asked. “I almost kissed him...I am so stupid.” I say. She pats me on my back. “You weren’t being stupid. You were being a woman.” she said. I didn’t fully understand that, but I didn’t bother asking either.
I could not sleep that night. At some times, I imagined what it would have felt like to actually kiss Ben, the other worrying about how I would get through all the classes we have together and History, where we sit together.
“Ashley! Wake up! This is the third time I’ve asked you to get up!” my mom yelled, impatiently. “I think I’m sick...” I mumbled. “Well, we’ll see.” my mom said. She left my room and came back with the handy-dandy thermometer. I knew I could not get past it. She ripped off the cover and shoved it in my mouth. My mom isn’t real motherly. Five minutes later, it beeped. My mom walked in the room. She took it from me, looking at the number. “99.3? Well, thats sorta high, I guess.” she said. My mom also knows nothing about the human bodies temperature. Lucky me. “All right, you’ve proven yourself worthy. I’ll be gone today at work, make yourself some soup, watch tv, do whatever but don’t go outside. You hear me?” she said to me. I nodded. “Ok...you get better,” my said, kissing me tenderly on my forehead, “all right?” she finished. I nodded again. My mom left an hour later, while I wait, lying in my bed for her to leave. After she had, I crawled out and walk over to the tv. I felt perfectly fine, except in my heart.
I must have watched tv for hours til I reasoned there was nothing on it. I got up, took my shower and finally got dressed. I put alittle make-up on, to raise my spirits, but very little I did helped. When it was 3:00, when school usually lets out, I called Mandy’s house. She answered the phone. “Hi Ashley! I’ve been waiting for you to call.” she said. “Were you home all day?” I asked. “Yea, I knew you’d be home today so I stayed and waited for you to call. Mrs.Tanner,” thats Mandy’s nanny, “kept by the phone all day waiting for you to call!” Mandy said. “Yea well...” I started. “How are you? Recovered yet?” she asked. “No, I don’t know what to do.” I said. “Well, I’m sure Ben has forgotten. Josh told me they had so much cocoa before we came last night, they’ve been running it off for hours!” Mandy said, laughing. “You talked to Josh today?” I asked. “Yea, he couldn’t sleep last night and only got like two hours of sleep so his parents let him stay home. Same thing with Ben.” she said. “So you mean I could have gone to school and he wouldn’t have been there? Oh man, I’m gonna be behind.” I said, nervous. “Yea, we’ll be all behind together, I guess. Anyway, I’m on my cell phone. Look out you window!” she said. When I did, Mandy was standing in my driveway, waving.
“Wait a second, someone’s standing in my driveway. Mandy, I’ll call later!” I said. She laughed. “Hiya!” she yelled as I walked outside to her. “Hey! You surprised me!” She laughed some more. “Come on lets take a walk...”she said. “Ok, one second...I gotta get my coat.” I said as I ran into my house. I grabbed my soft parka. It wasn’t very thick, but it was cute. “Where are we gonna go?” I asked. “How about a walk in Parker’s Palace?” she said, a sly grin on her small face. “Parker’s Palace! You only wanna go there because Joshes dad owns it!” I said. Parkers Palace is big forest with little pathways and fun playgrounds. “Hoping to see someone there?” I ask “Umm, no who would I meet?” she said. “Lier!” She laughed.
When we got there, we decided to take the pathway to the lake, Bear Creek, also the name of our school. “Do you think I screwed things up between me and Ben?” I asked. “No, I actually think that you showed him that you want him and now its his turn to do something about it.” she said. I start to sob. “I only wish I was more beautiful...”I sobbed. “Your very pretty, Ashley. You just have to realize that yet.” Mandy said. Mandy always had a way of cheering me up when I’m feeling down, cause just that moment I felt a small bit of relief.
The next day, my brother surprised me by taking me and Mandy out to the mall and then to McDonalds. I loved my brother when he was in his good moods. Sometimes I wonder what I’d do if he wasn’t around to cheer me up with a good joke or wonder what I would have done to myself during my parents divorce without him playing with me when my parent fought. He used to be my best friend. He still is and I couldn’t live without him.
The next week at school, things almost seemed back to normal with me and Ben. We were talking again and comfortably. I think he forgot what had happened between us during that fateful snowball fight. He only says how bad the snow I shoved in his face stung. I only say, ‘hahah!’ which always drives him crazy. I remember my first kiss. It was actually from Ben! Though he denies it terribly, he used to call me his wife in first grade. And one time, no one believed him that me and him were married, that he kissed me right in front of everyone! Of course, me being the big tomboy I was, kicked him and told him I wanted a divorce! For kissing me! It makes me laugh every time I remember it. Mandy remembers that day. Her and Julia were good friends then and one of the teachers snapped a picture and gave it to Ben’s parents. His father wasn’t very nice about it. He smacked Ben across the face and sent him to his room. It was supose to be a joke! Ben’s father used to be in the military. I know thats no excuse but it is a reason. Ben’s mom and mine have been friends ever since I came to Cedar Creek when I was 3.
My parents divorced when I was 3. My mom left immediatly. She took away all his money, from the banks and his private stash. He would only use it to buy more drinks, she said. With the money we had, we were able to move to somewhere nice. My mom had picked Cedar Creek because my grandma, who is my favorite family member, told her it was a lovely town. And she was very right. My grandma was even nice enough to send us even more money! That really helped my mom get a nice house and she found a job as a haircutter. She met Mrs. Harrington, Diane, while cutting her hair and they had a good long conversation. They’ve been good friends ever since.
“No, no, no Superman doesn’t live in Gotham city, Batman does. Superman lives in Metropolis.” Josh argued. “Then where does Spiderman live?” Ben asked. I sat, amused, listening to them bicker about super heros. They did this the entire lunch time. After about the first 15 minutes, it got old, so I walked away. Mandy was waiting for me by the door. “Hey!” she said, greeting me. “Guess what?” I asked. “What?” she asked back. “Chicken butt!” I yelled. She laughed. “Really?!” she asked. “Yea!” I answered. We laughed. “We’re retards...”Mandy said. “No, were not. Osh kosh bgosh Josh and Big Ben are!” Mandy laughed louder. Osh kosh bgosh and Big Ben were their nicknames in 5th grade, it was hilarious to us then. Now its just cute funny stuff.
I couldn’t tell my mom the whole story about Ben and me, she would have killed me if she knew it was just the four of us. Remember when Mandy and me took a walk? I got grounded. I had a dream that Ben and me were walking in Parker’s Palace and we were just so perfect together. Why are dreams dreams? Why can’t they be real sometimes?
My mom made me go to school the next day. I felt like crap. I had the biggest headache and all my teachers were giving me a hard time. After my last class of the day, I snuck out as fast as possible.I practically couldn’t wait to get home, which was very rare. I only had one class without Ben and that was gym with Josh.
When I got home,I threw my coat, book bag, and lunch bag by the door. I ran to the bathroom and splashed warm water on my face, it was freezing. My face was red. I walked up the stairs and walked into my brothers room, took his ski mask and told my mom I went on a walk to Parker’s Palace. I snatched my coat from the floor and ran out the door, tears filling my eyes. I had taken my portable CD player with me to listen to. I did love living in Alaska, there were so many beautiful places you could go to when you felt sad or mad or bad. I took path I had never used before but luckily for me, there were footprints made previously for me to follow. As long as the snow wasn’t going down heavy, I’d be able to find my way back. I found a nice place up against a tree, pulled out my CD player and soaked in the scenery. I closed my eyes and drifted off in daydreams.
When I opened my eyes, I was completely covered with snow. I stood up and shook it off, but alot of it had melted onto my skin. I was freezing. I looked over to the path. “Its gone!” I yelled, “Oh no!” I yelled again. I looked all over for a familiar landmark but I couldn’t recognize anything because everything was covered with a thick layer snow.
“Calm down. My mom is probably calling police already...I hope.” I hoped. I was right. At thats very moment, police were on their way. They passed everyone’s house, yelling for them to help.
I curled up against a tree to keep warm. My feet and legs felt numb. “I am so stupid to come out here! Why didn’t I just go to a path I knew!” I thought. I sat there worrying and nervous. I put my CD player on and listened to my CD, trying to keep my mind off the cold. I couldn’t hear the many people calling my name. Another hour passed. Parker’s Palace is very big and I walked quite far away from the entrance of the forest. Cursed snow...
I’m so cold, I thought , where is everyone? I looked down at my ice coated pants. I lifted my pant leg. My leg was turning blue. Scared, I started to rub it continuously to get the feeling back. I turned off my CD player. The batteries had died. I stood up, very weak, and tried to see if anyone could see me. I thought I heard Mandy’s voice. So I yelled, “I’m here! Over here!” The voices got closer. It was Mandy and Ben! I fell to the ground, my leg halfway frozen and I almost blacked out. The last thing I knew, Ben was carrying me out of the forest.
When I woke up, I was in a hospital with many blankets on me, my mom and brother by my side. “Honey are you awake?” she asked. “Mom?” I said, hoarsely. “I’m glad you woke up. The doctors told us you needed to rest. They saved your leg sweetie.” my mom said, a smile on her face. “I thought I’d never get out of that forest.” I whispered. “Your safe now, sis. Mom and I will stay here as long as we can.” Brian said. I smiled at him.
“Mandy and some boys have been waiting to see you. Do you want me to send them in?” my mom asked. I nodded. My mom and brother left and a few minutes later, Mandy, Ben and Josh came in the room, with worried faces. “Heyyy...” I said. “How are you?” Mandy said. “I’m Ok...the doctors were able to save my leg, so thats good.” I said. “Ashley, do you remember how you got out of the forest?” Mandy asked. “Vaguely...”I turned to Ben, “You saved me, I remember that. I said. He grinned. “I thought you had passed out.” he said. “Nope...thanks guys, you are true friends. I don’t know how I could repay you.” I said, looking at them all. “How about get better?” Ben interrupted. “Hmm, I think I can do that.” I said, smiling. After they left, I spent another two nights in the hospital recovering. On the third, the hospital let me go but on sort of a house arrest. I was out of school for two weeks. Meantime, I received many letters and cards. I liked them all so much I started a scrapbook to put them all in. A day after I got out of the hospital, Ben sent me forget-me-nots with a get well note. I felt very special. The only bad thing about staying home was that I had to still do homework. Blach!
When I returned back to school, I got tons of attention, which was Ok with me except that people I didn’t even know were now saying ‘hi’ to me. Of course I said hi back, but it was still very weird. I was never real popular.
About 2 months later, it was two days away from winter break. I couldn’t wait. I was allowed outside, just not down paths I didn’t know. Me, Mandy, Josh and Ben decided to take Joshes four horse’s down to Dead Man’s Peak, but just to the bottom of it.
Josh was showing Mandy how to ride a horse and I looked for mine. I couldn’t find it at all.“It’s been sick” Josh said. “Well, thats just great. So do you have any other horses???” I asked. “No, you’ll have to ride with Ben.” Josh said as he secretly winked at Ben. “Oh O.K. answered. Mandy was filled in and got on her horse, ready to go. “Uh Josh, why can’t I ride with Mandy?” I asked. “She’s not a very good rider yet.” he answered and got on. I got on Ben’s horse and sat in the front. “Uh, did you want to steer?” he asked. “You betcha!” I said, “Get in the back and hold on!” I said. We all followed Josh down the road and then to the trail. Ben was holding on really tight. I rode a little fast. “Don’t fall off, Ben! It would be a drag to go and pick you back up!” I yelled. He laughed. Mandy was swerving around the road. I see why Josh wouldn’t let me ride with Mandy, but hey, I could have steered. When we had to stop for some traffic, Ben got off and stretched out. “These things cramp your legs. Do you think I could steer now?” he asked. “Sure, why not.” I said. We switched places and after he got on, I locked my arms around his stomach. “He must have forgotten how I tried to kiss him a month ago,” I thought, “goody for me!” Ben rode fast, the whole time I was whooping and hollering, not in his ear though.
When we finally got there, I practically fell off the horse. “Hey look at this guys.” Josh said. “Let me guess.” Ben said. He pointed into the bushes. Two leg traps lay half hidden in the snow. “Isn’t hunting illegal in Alaska?” I asked. “Yea, but for most people thats not enough to stop them. We, Ben and me, find caribou and wolves in traps almost every time we come out here.” Josh said. “Thats horrible!” Mandy exclaimed. I shook my head in disgust. “Why isn’t anyone stopping them?” I asked. “Who can?” Ben turned to me and said. “Why not us?” I asked. Mandy turned to me and looked at me like I was crazy. Josh laughed, “Yea sure, Ashley. Lets see you try.” he said. I walked up to the trap, looked around the ground and picked up a stick and through it on the trap. It snapped shut, making a sound so loud, birds flew from their perches in the trees. “There. You saw me try.” Josh looked at me angrily, I’ve never seen him so upset. “Ashley, you shouldn’t have done that!” he yelled. “Why you said you’d like to see me try!?” I said. “Some hunters,” he said, his voice calming, “some hunters keep trackers on the traps, ya know, to know when something goes in them and then they leave to get them. That was so stupid of you to do that!” he yelled again. Ben grabbed his arm, “Come on man, she didn’t know.” Ben said. Josh sighed and told everyone they should leave quickly, so the poacher doesn’t know they were there. I was mad at Josh the rest of the day. He didn’t speak to me the rest of the night.
We spent a portion of the night on the glaciers of Lake Winnopta, a special lake we used to got to when we were all twelve. It held a certain tranquillity to it no other place in the world could match. Josh and Mandy sat by themselves. I was surprised later that Josh had used this day to ask Mandy out,again. I sat lonely on my own little rock, overlooking the 150 ft drop. I stuck my head over to stare down at it. It was beautiful. I sat there thinking of my many thoughts and dreams. Then one of my dreams sat next to me and laid down on his stomach and looked downwards also. It was Ben.
“Doesn’t this height scare you?” he whispered. I shook my head. “Only if I fell would I be scared. This actually makes me feel very peaceful.” I said. There was a pause so I added, “...I wouldn’t have to worry. You’d hold on to me if I fell right?” I asked. “I’d hold on to you even if you didn’t.” he answered. ...Omg... I sat there silent. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so stupid.” he said. “Don’t be sorry. I, I’d hold on to you too...” Did I just say that?! “Really?” he said. “Yea...” I said. Now I felt odd. What should I say now? “We never got to study that night.”he said. “No, I guess we didn’t.” I answered. “This view is so beautiful.” he said. I looked at him. “Your not even looking at it!” I said, with a small laugh. “Yes I am.” he said. He blinked. “Me?!,” I laughed, “you are so joking.” I said. I hoped he wasn’t. “Nope.” Ben answered. Suddenly, my cell phone went off. “Wait, hold that thought. I have a phone call.” I said. He laughed. “Probably my agent.” I said, clicking the on button. “Hi!” I answered. “Where are you? It’s 7:00 and your not home.” my mom said. “We are at Lake Winnopta...I’ll be home in an hour.” I said. “Okay. Are the boys gone?” she asked. I looked at Ben. I didn’t see a boy anymore in his eyes, I saw a man. “Yea, they’re gone.” I said, staring into Ben’s beautiful green eyes. “Ok, bye.” my mom said. I clicked the phone, my eyes fixed on his eyes. He stared at me with this incredible longing that I almost could not resist. I wanted to kiss him so bad. I leaned in, he leaned in. I closed my eyes, he closed his. We were an inch away from our lips touching. Just the spark of remarkable love that was surely to bloom afterwards. One kiss. Just one.
Crack! The snow beneath us was slipping. “Ben! Ashley! Get away!”I heard Mandy scream. We looked down. The ice had already slipped two inches already and going on three any second. We ran away from the cliff and ran to Josh and Mandy. Now I was scared. Ben and me looked at each other sharing the same frightened look on our faces. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him. My heart beating fast. I felt so much better being held in his arms. I felt safe and peaceful.
After that, we rode away on Joshes horses to his log cabin he had built with Ben and another boy I didn’t know. We were going there to warm up til we could leave. Ben came by me with a nice warm blanket and hot chocolate. He wrapped the blanket around me and handed me the cup. “It’s hot!” he warned. “Thanks, Ben.” I said. “No problem.” he answered. He went back into the kitchen and came back with his hot chocolate. He sat down next me. “Wanna share the blanket? We’ll be extra-extra-extra warm?” he said, with enthusiasim in his voice. I patted the spot next to me. “Feel free!” I said. Mandy smiled at me. “Sooo...” she said. I looked at her. “What?” I said, still grinning. “Are you two a...?” she said, smiling at me. “Hmm, Ben why don’t you answer that?” I asked. “Well, why the heck not!?” he said. I smiled. “Yup.” I answered Mandy. Josh came back in the room, his cell phone in his hand. “Ashley?”, he said, “your mom is on the phone.” he said. “Thanks.” I answered. I got up and said, “Hello?” My mom was sniffling. “Mom, whats wrong?” I asked. Something had to be pretty horrible for my mom to be crying. My mom hardly ever cried. “Ashley, your brother has been in a car accident.” she said, her voice breaking between sentances. I gasp. “Mom, how’d this happen?!” I ask. “Your brother was driving back home from Becky’s house and there was a big piece of ice on the road he didn’t see and when we tried to swerve from it, his car flipped over and crushed him inside. The firemen are trying so hard to pry him out but his leg is puntured by the clutch.” she said, crying during the whole time. My eyes begin to tear up. “I’ll be right there, Mom. I’m coming.” I said. “Ok, Ashley.” she says. I hang the phone back up on the reciever. I’m sure everyone is wondering what the call had been about. When I turned around, everyone was looking at me with anticipation. “My brother,” I said, pausing. I held my mouth, unbeleiveing what I about to say was true, “has had a car accident.” I finish. Mandy gasps. Ben runs up to me and hugs me and so does Mandy, but Josh is to prideful to even give me a hug but offers his services to drive his sport utility he has in the cabins garage up to the accident. Ben insists he comes with me and so does Mandy. “No Josh, can I drive? You don’t know where Becky lives.” I said. He nodded. We all ran out to the garage and Josh unlocked the doors. Ben sat up in the front with me and held my one hand while my other was on the steering wheel. I was a pretty good driver, so I was able to do that. Thank goodness Josh had a car in his garage.
I sped the enire time. When I reached the site of the accident, my mom was standing at the doors of the ambluence, her hand over her mouth, crying manically. I knew at that moment that the fireman had not been able to save him. I ran to my mom, grabbed her and hugged her like I have never done before. The car had blown up into flames. The gas spilled onto the engine and blew up. It was a day I never thought I’d forget or forgive. Ben walked to me and hugged both my mom and me.
Ben turned my mother around so she couldn’t see my brother, but now I could. His body hlf zipped up in a black body bag. I could still see his singed blonde hair, but his face was dirty and there was no eyebrows on his face. I closed my eyes and told my self out loud that I was dreaming. My mom was hugging Mandy now and I had not realized that she had left or that Ben had made me sit down. I had not even noticed. I was shocked and my breaths were short.
The very next day was the funeral. Never has my brother looked so pale. He always tried to keep a tan. But I noticed he had eyebrows and that they probly put fake ones on so he looked ok. Alot people from town were there. Becky was manic. She was squeaking and sniffiling so much someone had to take her away and calm her down. My mom wore her black cap with black tuil hanging out in fron of her. She wore black gloves and held a hankerchief. I stood next to my mom and Ben. During the funeral session, a dirty looking man was crying and lookig at me and my mom. When I asked my mom if she knew who he was. “Thats you dad, hun.” she said. I scowled at him. He had no right to be here. That cursed drunk. Ben leaned down asked the same thing. “Ben, thats my dad.” I whispered. His eyes widend. I wanted to say hi to him but something, a sort of resentment held me back. I sat by myself the rest of funeral. Ben and Mandy wanted to sit with me but I told them I wanted to be left alone. Before he was put in the cemetary, I walked up to his coffin and bent over and cried. “I’ll miss you soo much, Brian. I’ll never, ever forget you. You may not have been nice to me all the time, but you were always there when it counted. I am going to miss you soooo much. I’ll miss you. I promise...” I said. Now I was crying manically. I had to run out of the funeral home. I sat on the outside steps and cried the rest of the night.
I spent most of my winter break sitting in isolation in Brian’s room. I would lie in his bed and start to cry, remembering all those nights he’d let me sleep with him when I got scared. I would sit at his writing desk and cry, remembering all the odd-ball stories he would write for me to laugh at. I would just sit on the red inflatable chair I bought him because he complained how his other chair gave him backaches. I’d even cry when my mom would make a meal my brother didn’t like remembering how he would complain about it and how mom would make him sit al the table til it was gone. And how I would laugh at because he would sit there forever, even at 10:00 at night. My brother was a very good sitter. It made me sick to my stomach everytime I told a story about him I’d have to say stuff like ‘remember when Brian’ or ‘wasn’t it always funny when Brian’. Ben would call me everyday. I couldn’t answer. I wouldn’t even talk to Mandy. My mom was getting sick of me ‘walking around like a zombie’ all day, as she said. It was only until one day when I said, “Well if you wouldn’t have let him to go to that witches house, Becky, he’d be alive right now wouldn’t he?” that got my mom so mad to the point she slapped me across my face. My mom had never hit us before. She told us, “I came from an abusuive family and I don’t want you to have to grow up with a mom who is alway hitting you.” So when she did that, you couldn’t have imagined how shocked I was. She finished it with this, “Ashley, we have to live our lives! And Brian isn’t in them anymore! We have to come to grips with that! He would have wanted us too!” she yelled. “I can’t believe you want me to forget him...”I said shocked. “Honey, I don’t want you to forget him but I want you to live life to the fullest and appreciate what you have. Moping around this house isn’t helping you to do that.” she said. I looked at her and saw the pain and sorrow in her eyes and admired her integrity and strength that she showed to me and to the world. I thought to myself, She is so wonderful. How come I never saw that before? After what I saw, I hugged her and said, “I’m going to take a shower and then go back to the world!” She smiled. “Thats my girl!” she yelled. I felt so good. It was the best I had felt in weeks. I hadn’t forgot my brother but I wasn’t pittying myself. I was going to live my life and never cry again for dumb reasons.
There was only one day left of winter break. I was going to spend it with my mom but she insisted I spend it with my boyfriend, Mandy and Josh. I called them up and suggested we all walk to Lake Susata to watch the Northern Lights. Ben thought it was splendid idea and so did Mandy but Josh had been sick with the flu so he didnt. We begged him to come and finally he agreed, only so we’d shut up though.
We all met at Mandy’s house to start to walk down to Lake Susata, which was named by the ancestors of Alaskan Eskimos the Nanook’s. “Everyone ready?” Mandy asked. “Why can’t we drive up there!” Josh complained. Everyone hushed him. “Quiet Josh!” Mandy warned. I laughed at Josh. He stuck his tongue out at me. Mrs. Cedar walked over to Mandy and handed her the family’s cell phone. Then turned to me, “How are you, dear?” she asked. Mandy turned to her mom and hushed her also. “No thats Ok. I can talk about it now,” I told Mandy, “I’m great, Mrs. Cedar.” I told her. “Thats wonderful, dear.” she said. She hugged me. She looked at her watch. “Oo! You guys better get going!” she said. Ben grabbed my coat before I could and helped me put it on. “Thanks!” I said. “No prob.”he answered. I smiled at him and followed Josh and Mandy. Ben wrapped his arm around me. I smiled again. Mandy and Josh were fighting. Ben rolled his eyes. “Guys, guys, this is supposed to be a special night for all of us! Don’t ruin it with a fight!” he said. Josh stopped talking but gave Mandy mean looks. Sometimes Josh can be pretty evil. When he’s like that, we usually leave him alone. I felt so bad for Mandy. No one should be treated so mean. I thought to myself. Ben shook his head in disappointment. We both knew Josh could be a jerk but we’ve never seen him be mean to Mandy.
The look in Mandy’s eyes told us her feelings were really hurt and we knew Josh could see it too. But yet did nothing about it. Josh usually felt bad after he had done bad things but was never good at saying sorry. He had his pride and no one could break it. Ben and me walked behind Mandy and Josh. Ben looked angrily at Josh. I beckoned Mandy to my side, which left only Josh walking ahead. We were going to give Josh a taste of his own medicine. He looked behind him. Ben, Mandy and I were all walking in unity. “ Its not to late to say your sorry, Josh.” I said. He scoffed. “Sorry for what.” he answered, sarcastically. Ohh, that was cold. I wanted to punch him. Which for me wasn’t rare. As I’ve said before, I used to be a tomboy. I hit alot of people when I was growing up, including Josh. So he knew better to not get on my bad side. He was real close and he knew it. His pace got alittle faster. “Josh, would you like to rephrase that?” I said with an attitude. “I said, ‘Sorry for what’ thats what I meant!” he yelled. Oh he was gonna get it. I walked up to him and punched him in the face. Ben gasped and started to laugh. Mandy was shocked. “Do you wanna rephrase that now?” I asked again. I stood over him. I leaned down into his face and asked him again because he looked at me with a mean look. “Don’t make me repeat myself.” I added. “I’m, I’m sorry, Mandy. I’m sorry Ashley.” he said, like the coward I knew he was. He may talk with an attitude but so do I, with my fists. “I’m sorry I had to hit you but you shouldn’t treat someone you love that way. You never know when they may leave.” I said. Everybody understood I was speaking about my brother. Their heads drooped down to the ground. “I’m real sorry, Mandy. I love you.” he said, and he put his arms around her and kissed her tenderly on her cheek. I wished Ben would kiss me like that. “Well, were gonna miss the Northern Lights if we don’t keep going.” Ben said. I shivered. A strong breeze blew throught the air and the fact I had serious hypothermia before made it easy for me to get it again. Ben wrapped his arms around my body to keep me warm. Josh lead the way. Lake Susata was ten miles away from Mandy’s house. It would take us at least another thirty minutes to an hour to get there. I was starting to get really cold. Ben looked at me worried. “Are you ok?” he asked. “I’m fine.” I lied with a smile on my face. But I knew I wasn’t. My legs were getting real numb and I kept tripping. After five minutes, Ben knew I was lying and made me sit down on a rock. “Your not ok...lift up your pants leg.” he asked. I tried to move my fingers but they too were numb. “I, I can’t move my fingers.” I told him. Mandy looked at me worried. He lifted my pants. My leg was turning blue again. “Oh my gosh, Ashley...we have to call an ambluence.” he said. “Here,” Mandy said, searching her purse for the cell phone her mom had handed her. The blood in my legs weren’t circulating the way they were supposed to like normal peoples do. If I didn’t get into a hospital soon, my leg would have to be amputated. That scared me alot. Ben dialed the number and told them we would be at a gas staion, that was a mile away. “Ok, we need to get there in a few mintues.” he said. He asked Josh to lift me up in Ben’s arms. They ran to the gas station. Again, the last thing I remember is Ben carrying me away.
This time when I woke up, my mom was there but not my brother or my leg. They weren’t able to save it this time. I could not stop crying. “Honey,” my mom said, “theres always prosethic legs.” She was trying to console me. I would have normally reacted to that but I just continued to scream and cry. I would lift up my sheet and see my leg gone and just scream, painfully. My mom even started to cry, feeling the same pain that I was. It was consoling that she cried with me. It showed that even the strongest people cry. My heart was ripping into shreds. My leg was gone. “Mom...” I cried, “why couldn’t they save it?” I asked. “They tried with all thier might sweetie. It was just to late. You had gangrene in your ankle and spreading.” she said. I turned around in my bed and told my mom I wanted to be left alone for alittle. Ben walked in as my mom walked out. “I’m sorry, sweetie. She wants some time by herself.”I could see Ben’s face in the relection of my glasses. “Ashley, if you can hear me, I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you to the station fast enough. I’m sorry.” he said. He must have said sorry five times. And each time he said it, the words cut through my heart like knives. I wanted so much to say, “Its ok.” but I felt so ashamed and broken, my mouth couldn’t speak the words.
I felt incomplete for awhile. My physical therapy instructor has been teaching me to walk ok with just one leg. I am starting to come to grips with my missing leg. Mandy came to see me everyday, along with Ben. I felt so weird around my friends. I almost feel like a completly different person. Mandy always seems to remind me who I am. And Ben makes me feel good about the person I am. My mom has been a great shoulder to lean on. She was always there cheering me on when I did my first walk across the room with no crutches. My mom was my hero. I loved her with all my heart. She had kept me strong when I was weak, she built me up when I fell, emotionally and physically.
It was only until one snowy day in my room I remembered a promise I had made to my brother. That if I was to out live him, I was to dig up a special box he had buried in the backyard of the house and I promised I would do just so. I took my crutches and hobbled to the back door and put on my boot. My boot? NOW that seems funny! “Where ya goin’ hun?” my mom asked. “I have something I promised to Brian to do.” I told my mom. She smiled and nodded. “Go ahead...” she said. I went outside to the shed, pulled out a shovel and tried my best to remember where he had put it. I began to have a flashback, “Are you listening, Ashley?” my brother asked. “Yea.” I answered. I was a naive little child. “Remember this...I buried the box over the hill towards the creek next to Snoopy’s grave, ok?” he said. I remember nodding. The flashback stopped. If your wondering, Snoopy was our beagle. He died saving Brian from a dog that had rabies. He was very loyal. I took my brothers instructions and walked over the hill, towards the creek and next to Snoopy’s grave. Brian had chiseled the headstone. My brother was very crafty. At that, I started to brush off the excess snow and dug around the grave. When I had gotten maybe 5 feet under, I hit a box. I pryed it out with the shovel and pulled it out onto the snow. After I had broke the rusted lock on it, I opened it up. My eyes teared up at what was inside. “Junkyard Joe, Bedtime Betty!” I whispered. I pulled two hand puppets out the box. My brother and I had made them when I was 5. Junkyard Joe was my brothers. He covered him with dirt and we would make plays with them. Bedtime Betty was mine. She was a clean girl who would sleep an awful lot so my brother helped me name her. He was only two years older than me. He died at the age of 18, his senior year.
Also inside lay my brother’s stories he wrote for me. I pulled each 1 out at a time and began to read them. It started to get cold so I decided to bring them inside.I carried the box inside. My mom gasped. “Ashley! What is that?” she asked. “Come here, I’ll show you.” I said. I carried the filthy box into the living room and placed it on an old mat on the floor. “Ashley, what is all this?” she asked. “Everything in this box, may not hold a certain significance to you, but to me it means the world. I’ll show you what I mean.” I told her. I pulled out an old sock. “Brian used this sock to save money to take me to the zoo when I was eight.” I said. “I didn’t even know there was a zoo in Cedar.” my mom said shocked. “There isn’t. Brian saved enough money to geta cab and he drove us all the way to the Juneau Zoo.” I told my mom. “So thats where you guys went! Ohh, you kids were so bad!” my mom said, angry. “Sorry.” I answered. I pulled out a tape. “Now this I have no clue. Here, lets listen to it.” I said. I took my tape player out from beneath the sofa and placed the tape in. It started, “By the time you get this tape and listen to it, I will be dead. But I want to tell you both something, since I know mom is listening to this right now. Please remember this Ashley, I know that remembering wasn’t always your strong point: Don’t forget me but don’t dwell on me eiether. I don’t want to make any problems for you two. I love you both very much. Very much. I know that maybe mom may be dead or maybe you, Ashley but as long as you found this tape and listened to it, is good enough for me. Goodbye.” my brothers voice ended and the tape stopped. My mom and me were both in tears. To hear my brothers voice again was a like a prayer answered. My mom bent over to me and hugged me. “I’m so glad I didn’t lose you too, Ashley.” my mom sobbed. “Thank you...” I said. “I love you, baby. I know I didn’t show it alot when you were younger but...” my mom said, her voice breaking. “I understand, Mom. I love you too.” I answered.
In two more months after my mom and me had opened the boxes, my mom has been trying to make it up to me by doing more motherly things and being more loving. I really appreciated all of it. It was great having such and understanding mom. I really respected my mom. Truly.
It was a Friday night, and Mandy, Josh, Ben, Kayla (Ben’s new girlfriend), and me. I had known that Ben gotten a new girlfriend through Mandy. I was ok about I guess. I didn’t expect Ben to wait for me for months. I understood. “So what movie are we going to see?” Mandy asked. “How about Mission Impossible: 2!” I said, excited. The guys agreed. “Umm, I don’t like action movies. Were going to see Down To You, with that hottie Freddie Prinze Jr.!” Kayla exclaimed. “We? Excuse me, who put you in charge?” I said. “I didn’t mean you, I meant Ben and me. Selfish cripple...” she said. That last part made me want to rip her perfect little teeth out. Ben pulled Kayla to the side. He yelled at her for calling me that. I stared at her giving her my most mean looks. “I don’t like her either, Ash. But Ben does so lets try to be nice to her, ok?” Mandy said. “I’m sorry, I forgot I had something better to do today, Bye!” I yelled loud enough so that brat could hear. Mandy sighed. “If Ashley doesn’t go, niether do I.” she says, walking away. “If Mandy doesn’t go, I go too. Bye, Ben.” Josh said. Ben hesitated and then said, “If they go, I go.” and left. Kayla leaves, mad. We all wait outside in Mandys car. Ben opens the door and gets in. “I’m never speaking to her again. Ashley, I’m sorry. She shouldn’t have called you that.” Ben said. I placed my fingers over his mouth. “Ben, every time we talk your saying your sorry!” I say. “I know, I’m....regretful.” he said. “Good! I was afraid you would say you were sorry!” I said. Ben laughed. I was so relieved that him and Kayla were no more. I wanted him back so bad.
The weekend sped through fast, I didn’t realize I had to go back to school til it was 6:00 a.m and I was being rudely awoken by my alarm clock. I got a ride to school. Lucky for me, it was an assembly day and I could sit with Ben the whole time. The assembly was all day and only paused for lunch. Ben and me were scribbling notes back and forth to each other. Then we started to play Hangman. His second turn was a sentance. I was stumped. “What is it!?” I asked. “Guess some more.” he said. When I was finished I got this, I love you, Ashley. I should have known Ben would have done something like this. I was magical. I felt so peaceful. “Whats that say?” I asked. I just wanted to hear him say it. “I-” but he was cut off. Mrs. Canton made us be quiet. I laughed when she turned around. I whispered to him. “Whisper it in my ear.” He bent over, and whispered, “I love you, Ashley Moore.” I almost thought he was going to bend over and kiss me but Ben wouldn’t do that in school. I still had not been truly kissed by him.
It was Tuesday and I was sitting doing my work on Alaska history when someone tapped me on my back. I was some guy I had never met. “Hey,” he said. “Hey,” I answered. “You seeing anyone?” he asked. I wanted to say yes but I wasn’t sure if Ben was serious. “Sorta.”I answered. “Oh good, I was wondering if you and me could go to the movies?” he asked. “I don’t even know your name.” I said. “Oh sorry, I’m Mike.” he said. Mike was pretty attractive. He had dark blue eyes, brown eyes and was my hieght. “Mine is Ashley.” I said. I won’t tell him anymore. I am dedicated to Ben and not Mike nor anyone else can break that. “The movies Mission Impossible:2, still not interested?” “Sure” I answered. A movie can’t hurt.
I got ready for the date with Mike. My mom was shocked I was going out with someone besides Ben. “Mom! Its my life! I can date anyone I want!” I yelled and slammed my door. I felt so bad. I could barely look at my mom afterwards. I put on dark red lipstick,a halter top and some sleek black pnts. I didn’t know why I was dressing up so much but for some reason, I wanted to look special for Mike.
“You look beautiful, Ashley.” Mike said, after I had opened the door. “Thanks, Mike. So do you.” And boy, was I not lying. He was looking good! Your going just for the movie, just for the movie...I told myself. But after I had spent that night with Mike, Ben was completly out of my head.
After the movie, he walked me to my front door. “Do you kiss on first dates?” Mike asked. “Only the real nice guys...”I teased. “Am I one?” he asked. “Oh yea...” I said. He leaned in, and I leaned in. We were kissing for like three minutes. I would like to say that I didn’t feel anything but I would have been lying. I felt something and it was almost more than I have for Ben. “Wow...”I said. “Ditto...” Mike said. I liked it so much, I grabbed Mike and kissed him some more. After I had stopped, Mike was really surprised. “Was I that nice?!” he said. “Mike, you are the greatest date I’ve ever went with.” I said. “Thanks. Your the prettiest, nicest girl I’ve ever met.” he said. He was staring at my eyes like Ben had. I locked eyes with him also. “Do you want to come in?” I asked. “Yea, I’d like that.” he said. Good thing my mom wasn’t home, because Mike and me made out on the couch. After he had left, I couldn’t wait for our next date. Mike was a great kisser. He had a football player chiseled face, a body like one too. He was so hot!
The next day, Mike and me could barely wait for school to be over to see each other again. Ben wouldn’t talk to me. I was so naive. I had been kissing Mike outside my door and Ben had a perfect view from his house of ours. He must have seen us. In Alaska History class, Mike had switched his seat next to mine and Ben sat behind us. Mandy was sick for two days.
Mike and me had another date at an ice skating rink. It was beauitful. We held hands and had fun! I was surprised I could ice skate with a prosethic leg. And when we went home, we went inside and made out on his couch. I like Mike alot. I had to tell somebody about me and Mike. “Your what?!” Mandy yelled. “I’m going out with this real nice guy, Mike.” I repeated. “Have you forgotten about Ben!?” she yelled again. “What?” I asked. “Ben was talking actually more like crying to Josh yesterday about you ignoring him at school and getting a boyfriend and kissing him in view!” Mandy said. “I didn’t realize...” I started. “Ashley, do you really love Mike or just making out with him?” she asked. I was really stumped. “...making out....” I said. “Thats what I thought...” Mandy said. “Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I messed things up so bad with Ben!” I yelled. “Its not to late. Go to him Ashley, and you say your sorry.” she said. I said ok and hung up. After that I called Mike and told him I coudn’t date him anymore because my boyfirned found out about us. He believed me.
I ran to Ben’s house and pounded on the door. Mr. Harrington answered the door. “Yes?” he said. “Is Ben here?” I asked. “Yes, but he’s busy.” he answered. “It urgent.” I said. “Fine. May I ask who it is?” he asks. “Yes tell him it’s, it’s,” think hard Ashley, he won’t talk to you so use someone elses name, “Mandy!” I say. “Ok, come in. He’ll be down.” I waited in the living room. When Ben came down, I stood up. “Ben!” I said. “Dad!” he yelled. “No please don’t kick me out. I need to talk to you.” I pled. “I don’t want to talk to you, Ashley. I told you I loved you and you go and get a boyfriend?! You have alot of nerves!” he yelled. Mr. Harrington enters the room. “Dad, this isn’t Mandy. I don’t know her.” Ben says as he walks back up the stairs. Mr. Harrington made me leave. I walked to his back yard and stared up into his bedroom. He had been staring out the window. When he saw me, he turned away. I started to cry. “I’m sorry Ben.” I yelled and walked away from his house. I felt so lost.
Chap. 2
Chap. 3
Chap. 4
Chap. 5