Chapter 2: Ashley High
Chapter 4No one could possibly understand what I was going through that night. I decided to starve myself. I could not eat. My stomach was sour with wrenching pain only true love could bring you. I had on more than one occasion tried to muster up the courage to call Ben, but you would have no idea how hard a battle is when its your body against your mind. You start to tremble and you bite your lower lip, to think hard. But you suddenly realize, you have thought so hard youve trembled onto the floor and your lip begins to bleed from the pressure you have put there. My mom had only knocked twice on my door. Once, to give me my laundry she had neatly folded and the second to invite me to eat with her, which I happily turned down with a smile and a ‘no thank you’. She looked worriedly at me and decided I should have my temperature taken since my head felt awful warm. I guessed myself it was because I had been sweating from running home and crying hard, trying hard to not make a sound. Right now, I didn’t need a temp. check, I needed a freind. Mandy was at her friend Rachels house and I had no one else I would rather call. So after a long wait of three to five minutes with some retarded metal contraption stuck in my mouth, I ran to my room, locked the door and took out my diary of which I had only used about three times the whole year. I figured I was goig to need it alot more this year so I stuck it in a more convient spot. I opened up to a blank page and began to write.
Dear Diary, Yea, its actually me. We need to talk. I wont fill you in, I need to release all this stress right now. Ben told his dad he did not know me, and I felt like such a horribl person. But, my life does not revolve around him, ya know. Was I wrong to kiss another guy? Ben did say he loved me and I guess I thought it was alittle early for that so I chose to not believe him. I do everything wrong! I should just die for the things Ive done. I might as well. Ben hates me and Mandy is finding other friends, where do i fit in this picture??? I’m just the annoying crippled girl that just bugs her friends constantly. I sorta feel really different from every1 else. I dont really want that. Ive known these people all my life, and now they dont want any part of me. I really shouldnt write that. Im not sure so I just wont say anything.
Neway, I gotta go. Im tired. My eyes are swollen and I need to think of better reasons to skip school. Forever yours truly, Ash
I read it over to myself, carefully checking over what I said, sighed, and walked over to my bed. I kept the light on, since it was only 8 ‘o clock and my mom would have gotten suspicous that I had went to bed so early. My norm bed time is usually 11. Suddenly, the phone rang. I vaguely heard my mom answer it. I heard her call my name, but I did not get out. She knocked on my door then tried to open it but then realized it was locked. “Ashley?! Someone for you on the phone!” she yelled. I got up and prayed that it wasn’t Samantha or Julia, who would have heard it from Josh that would have heard it from Ben, who I’m sure told him. I unlocked the door and grabbed the phone from my mothers hand, said ‘thank you’ and closed the door. “Hello?” I asked. Ben answered back in a whisper. “Ashley, can we talk? I know your not asleep.” he says. “You were wrong, Ben. I was.” I answered. He mumbled an ‘oh’ and I heard him sit down. “I have to say that I might have over-reacted.” he apoligizes. “Might have?” I asked.“A bit?” he asks. “You friggin embarrassed me in front of your whole family!?” I yelled again . “If you never cheated on me, I wouldn’t have had to!” Ben yelled. “We weren’t even going out!?” I yelled. What kind of crap was he trying to pull? He’s blaming it all on me? Yea right! “Ashley, I really felt bad for what I did tonight, in fact I was ashamed, and...” he says, back to his normal tone of voice. “Yea, well you should feel ashamed!” I shouted. “Maybe we should talk later.” he says. Then, I started to think about Ben and me at Lake Winnopta and Joshes cabin and how I felt so warm around him. Seconds, went by and I started to cry again, in my fragile state. “...Ashley, please don’t cry. I’m not going to yell anymore. I...”he starts. “No, Ben. Don’t apoligize. Its not you.” I tell him. I wipe the tear that had just began its journey down my face and wipe it on my shirt. “Then what is it? Please Ash, tell me.” he asks in his sweet voice of his. “I just want us to all be friends again...” I sobbed into the phone. “We are Ash, we still are.” he consoles. “Then why do I feel so alienated from you guys? Mandy hasn’t called me in a week and Josh and you have been ignoring me.” I quickly blab into the phone, without a word of thought. “Ashley, high school is getting us all so busy. We don’t mean to be so far apart, we just can’t help it. You understand right?” he asks. “Yeah, I guess I do.” I answered. “Look, I’ll try to get us all together this weekend and we’ll do something we haven’t done in awhile. Is that alright with you?”he asks. “I’d like that...I love you.” I blurted out. “I love you too, Ash. Goodnight, angel.” he says. “Night.” I answer. He clicks off. I was to shocked that he had actually answered my ‘I love you’ that was not suposed to come out, I left the phone on. I slept alot better that night.
“Ashley!!” Mandy called from down the hall. “Wait up!!” she yelled, excitedly. I waited for her, of course. “I heard you talked to Ben last night! So...? You guys make up?” she asked, with a hint of agitation and impatience. I decided to let her quench for answers lay unanswered for a little, just to make her effort to getting the truth out of me alittle more exhilarating. “We did talk, yes.” I said. I knew that was not the answer she expected. “Ashley! I absolutly know somethinkg happened on the phone last night, and I also know your gonna tell me, right?!?” Mandy persisted. “Oh boy, you think you know me so well, do you?” I ask, taunting her with every word. “ASHLEY!” she shouts. Ok, now I’ll tell her. “Yes.” I answer. “Yes, what?” she asks. “Something happened. Who told you we talked?” I ask. “I am Joshes girlfirend, I get all the gossip first.” she states, as if that was something to boast about. “Oh yea. well then Josh probably told you that Ben told me he loved me back?” I asked. “Back? Ashley, you told a guy you loved him first???” Mandy asked me without waiting. “Yea. I can be brave too.” I stated. Brrrriiinnggg! The bell to get to class went off and we were no where close to the classrooms we were supposed to be at. “Oh crap...lets just skip school today?” Mandy asks. “Can we do that?” I ask. “My dad basically owns this school! Sure we can!” she says, taking my hand as we walk towards the exit door. I never thought of Mandy as one to skip school, but as the year rolled along, I discovered that nothing was what it seemed.
The weekend came up quick. Ben had planned a huge nature walk in Scully’s Taverns, then a romantic picnic at Old Welks Picnicana. It definatly sounded fun, but there was only one problem, me. “Oh, knock it off Ashley. It’ll be fun.” Mandy exclaims, as she braids my hair. It was two hours before we were to leave with the guys. “What if I get cold again?” I asked worried. “We’ll bring the cell phone. It’ll be fine, Ash. Nothing will happen, alright?” Mandy replies, promisingly. And the idiot I was, believed it. We both wore our fleece jackets and ski shirts, with two pairs of jeans. For February, it was quite cold. There was little snowfalls, but what was already on the ground was immense. 13 ft in some places covered driveways and exhausted trees with the blizzards leftovers. “Beep, beep!!” Bens car called. Mandy and I slipped on some heavy boots and kissed my mom goodbye. We ran out the door and hastily leaped in. It was very warm. “Hey girls, ready?” Ben asked, smiling back at us both. “Yea, both of us.” Mandy mentioned sternly. I looked uneasy at the reflection in the window. I had some eerie feeling, something was going to occur sometime, somewhere on this trip. Ben smiled to me through the front mirror then quickly noticed my nervousness. “Hey, Ash. Are you sick?” he asked. I wiped the worried look off my face and smiled, “No, I’m not sick. I’m fine.” I lied. I felt horrible for lying. I turned my face back to the window, praying for a way out of going on this trip. A flat tire, a national emergency, something! “Ugh!” I shouted out loud. “Whats wrong?” Ben asked. I felt panicky.’Should I lie again? No. Yes! Oh, god help!’ I yelled inside. “Screech!!!!!” the tires roared. “Whoa!” Ben yelled. I looked out the window. A baby moose and its mother stood right in the middle of the rode. I smiled to myself and took advantage of the situation to get out of going. “Oh geez, maybe we should turn back and do this some other day?” I hinted. My face glistened with hope and anticipation. “Yea, maybe Ash is right, G. Wanna head over to McD’s?” Josh asked. God bless Josh. “No...I think we can get around them.” Ben answered, sharply. I looked about the car, waitng for someone to ask again. Josh? Mandy? No one?! I’m doomed!! I screamed inside. My once happy and joyful face suddenly turned into a full flushed pout. I looked annoyed and I just wanted to scream at everyone.
In 15 minutes later, we arrived. After everyone had gotten out, I stayed in. “Hey, Ash, come on out!” Ben cried out. I smiled and shook my head ‘no’. He looked at me with his cute, puppy dog face that he knew I couldn’t resist. I resisted. It ended up with him dragging me out by my hands and feet. Mandy brushed up against me, “If you wanted attention, you didn’t have to act like a baby.” she said, snottily. I looked surprised. ‘This must be Rachel’s doing...”I thought. Rachel was a brat and now, Mandy is too. “I’m King of the world!!” Josh and Ben yelled, on top of a big mound of snow and dirt. I luaghed at them and smiled. Ben flashed me a smile and motioned me up. “Come to me, my queen!” he called. I hesitated then headed clumsily up the snow bank. As soon as Josh climbed down to get Mandy, I heard a grisly noise. “Ben?” I whispered in his ear. “Do you hear that too?” he asked me, holding me tightly in his arms. The sound got more closer and more closer, but Josh and Mandy seemed to be extremely oblivious to the growling. Snap! A branch broke in front of us. Josh looked behind him. A monsterous polar bear stood 10 to 12 feet high in front of him. We heard his and Mandy’s blood curdling screams. “Find me some sticks!” Ben whispered to me harshly. “But Ben!” I said, frightend. “Just do it!!” he yelled at me, his face wrinkled into a shout. I trembled behind me. Growl! Another one stood behind us. I screamed bloody murder. I showed its teeth and clambered closer and closer. Ben grabbed me and we jumped off. I had one stick still in my hand.
By now, Josh was cornered by a tree. Mandy screamed like the bear was ripping at her flesh. Everything moved so fast. No one was thinking. The other one was climbing slowly down the mound. Josh stopped screaming. Mandy had run into the woods, Ben still held me in his arms. He was beating two sticks together as close as he wanted to get to the bear. “Get! Get! Get!” he shouted. Josh still was silent and layed motionless on the ground while the huge beast batted him around like some childs toy. Finally, the bears left. The sticks Ben banged together had scared them away. I sat rocking back and forth in the freezing cold snow. Ben squated next to Josh. He was bleeding badly out his ears and mouth but still held a heartbeat. “Come on, lets get him inside the car. Careful now, don’t twist his neck, it may be broken. “ Ben warned me. “Oh my god...” I mumbled. My head was spinning and I was not yet grasping what really happened. When Ben began to pick Josh up, I could not move. “Come on, Ash. We have to get Josh to the hospital.” Ben called, but the words did not register in my mind. Mandy came running through the bushes. “Police-coming-here-stay, oh god!!” she screamed. At first her words were hard to make out, but hen she screamed, I came to. “What happened!?!” I shouted. I did not stop asking this until I had recieved an answer from Ben. “Josh is hurt, police are coming, Ash. Don’t worry. “he said. I felt down at my leg and felt my prostectic. “My legs gone!” I screamed. I fell over and began to scream and cry in the fetal position. “Oh god, shes in shock. Come here Mandy. We need to help her.” Ben said. “But what about...?!” Mandy yelled. “He’s not going anywhere!! Now come on!” he yelled at her. Ben and Mandy rushed over to me and restrained me to the ground. “Shh, its ok. The bears are gone. Police are coming.” Ben consoled. “How do you know!? YOU DON’T KNOW!” I screamed in his face. I layed back and closed my eyes. “I could have stopped it...” I mumbled. “Ash, no one could have stopped this.” he said. “Its my fault...all my fault.” I repeated over and over. “Its not your fault!! Now STOP IT!!!” he shouted. My crying stopped and I stared up shocked at him.
He looked at me with this determined, brave face that was just so sexy. I reached up, put my arms around him and was ready to kiss him when the sirens of police cars roared in the background. “Ben! The police are here!” Mandy yelled, behind him. “Yea.” he answered,with my arm still romantically draped over his shoulder. “Well, don’t you think you should get them over here?!” she yelled. I looked at him like I did not want him to go, but pushed him away like he should. He got up, coughed, as if he was embarrassed and ran off, looking at me lying there all sexy like. Mandy stared down at me with a snotty look on her face. “How could you make-out with Ben while Josh lay near death? Don’t you have any heart!?!” she screamed at me. Woa buddy, guess who has MAJOR pms? “I’m sorry! But god, he just looked sooo sexy.” I said. “You could have stopped this, ya know? You think I didn’t hear you and Ben warn each other that you heard something? I did. Thanks for the warning.” she said, maniacal. I could not wait to get out of that forest or just away from her.