MGay Warrior
Jim Fickey Ph d., Gary S Grimm MA
GLB
Good Informative
Read……. 4 stars…… recommended "Gay Warrior" is written
in Parts. Part I includes chapter headings Introduction in
which the writers explain the purpose for their book. "The
Warrior" introduces the concept of the Warrior model for
the gay man while The Puer introduces the opposite of the Warrior.
"Initiation" explores the rite of passage when the
man leaves one part of his life to enter the next.
Part 2 includes "Betrayal of the Gay Man" the stigmatization
of the gay male is explained, "Sebastion and Violet, Violet
and Sebastion - Importance of divorcing our Mothers", is
an explanation of how to begin leaving The Puer behind and becoming
a Warrior. "Where's Dad - How our Fathers Betray Us"
touches upon the abandonment felt by so many men when thinking
of their father. "The Consequences of Abandonment"
points to the fact that when a gay boy does not have the support
of his father he must find other methods for coping. "A
Father's Abuse": the authors present the premise that abuse
comes in many forms some brutal and some not, some overt and
some hidden, all have the same result. "Initiation and the
Father" initiation is that moment when a boy straight or
gay gives up his allegiance to mom and the feminine world to
enter that of dad and the males an absentee father whether by
death, or emotion causes pain for the boy.
Part 3 Includes "How We
Betray Ourselves" the writers point out not all betrayal
comes from others, often much comes from the man himself. If
the Puer is not overcome then The Good Boy, Characteristics of
the Good Boy, The Narcissist, Characteristics of the Narcissist,
The Addict, Substance Addictions, Process Addictions, The Irresponsible
Boy, and/or The Oppressor surfaces.
Part 4 offers insight for the
gay man who may be struggling with Transforming Betrayal into
Wisdom - The Journey of Initiation, Betrayal Through HIV, Betrayal
Through War, A Profound Example, Coming Out - Feel the Fear and
Do It Anyway, Beyond Coming Out, Leaving Home, Roadblocks, The
Challenges of Leaving the Extended Family, Knowing When and How
to Leave, Healing the Inner Homophobe, Therapy, Getting In Touch
With Feelings, Part 5 The Gay Warrior, The Warrior Relationship,
Learning How to Work with Conflict, The Value of Anger, Healthy
Dependence, Monogamy Vs NonMonogamy, Becoming Political, Warrior
Work, The Gay Elder, Developing a Spiritual Path, Conclusion,
and the Bibliography.
The writers of this work are
psychotherapists who over a number of years have counseled with
many gay men. Their book is not a feel good book, rather it
is written to help gay men become free of the betrayals set upon
them. The book is an outgrowth of what these therapists have
learned from their experience in the field and wish to share
with others in an effort to aid gay men who may not realize what
their role in society can be.
"Gay Warrior" is a
well written work, presented in terminology laymen can understand.
The authors are striving with this work to offer to the public
at large and to gay men in particular a book to help each understand
some of the many problems, confusions and misconceptions that
may be harbored by the other. Greater understanding on the part
of all can only lead to greater harmony and less guilt for the
gay man and those with whom he may come into contact. The book
will aid parents and the straight community in understanding
if not accepting some of the plight experienced by gay men.
Behind all presented is a theme that cannot be denied: we are
all seeking the same things from life, our method for achieving
having our needs met may differ somewhat, however we all crave
home, acceptance, livelihood and someone with whom we can share
our lives. |