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You Know You've Had Too Much Caffeine When...

You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your favorite coffee mug.
The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

Tim Hortons schedules their store hours around you.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
When someone asks "how are you", you say, "good to the last drop".
You have a website about caffeine.
You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
You dip espresso beans.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You can name the five flavors of JOLT.

You need a caffeinated beverage after lunch to avoid being cranky all afternoon.
All your kids are named Joe, Java and Cappuccino.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
You don't tan, you roast.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You short out motion detectors.
You think being called a drip is a compliment.
You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
Your Thermos is on wheels.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stir sticks.

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