Random Things (not quite .com) Products

Dang adds! Anyway, here are displayed all the brand new, wonderfully useful, and allegedly patented products of Random Things (not quite .com) All, we guarentee, are not sold in any store (They're not even sold here.) So have fun trying desperately to order them while we laugh at you in a very evil way.

Home and Garden Junk

Big 'Ol Box O' Tools- Comes with lots of tools. Free box included!
Wrenches- Of all different shapes and sizes! Sure to make you crinze 'till two in the morning!
Our Friend, Mr. Lawn Mower- Each one programmed to go ballistic in the middle of your mowing. Scare your friends, injure your neighbors!
The Super Mega-Vac 2000- You'll be lucky if it hasn't sucked up your house after its first use!
Carpet Cleaner- That's right! We've trained these cats to lick carpets, not themselves!
Sumo Wrestler- He'll eat anything to get larger for those wrestling matches!
Tree-Away- Tree-Away gets all those pesky plants off your lawn! If you think that you want trees on your lawn, you're stupid.
Tree-Come-Back- Tree-Away's sworn enemy! Pokes anyone using Tree-Away!

Electronics

A Difunctional Circut Board- We actually have this. Probably from a beeping thingy or something.
A Telophone Thing- Maybe it actually works, maybe not. That's the fun in life, isn't it?
A Bug- Not like you think! This is an actual bug! Put it in your computer and hear it buzz!
Super Computer Set- Comes with speakers, monitor, printer, microphone, every software title ever, mouse, mousepad, switchboard, lots of wires, and a free chair if you call now! (Actual computer not included.)

Food

Mold- Really green.
Mush-Kinda brown, actually.
Chocolate Mouse- We ate it all.
Shoe Leather- Fruity.
Battery Fluid- Oops! Wrong category!
Cookies- You know, doggy cookies.
Pencil Shavings- We it them all the time! (He-he-he-he-he!)
Nuclear Crepe- Yummy, radioactive, French pancakes!
More mush- This one's sorta redish.