This section contains all of the site's past updates, stored carefully so as to preserve maximum outdatedness. Note how the first year's worth of updates are now missing. I updated the archive on a school computer, and back in the day Macs only displayed the first 32k of a text file or something idiotic like that. I didn't know, I saved, and bam- 3/4 of the updates kerploded. I guess this is what I get for not backing up the site- several of my best rants are now lost forever. Ah well, life goes on. New rants shall rise up to take the place of the old if given time. Or not. Whatever. Also, the Internet Archive has much of the exploded material here.
April 2008-Present
2006
October-December 2005
October 2004-February 2005
May/June 2004
May/June 2003
November 2002-April 2003
September/October 2002
July/August 2002
May/June 2002
March/April 2002
January/February 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
--==April 20, 2008 (1:26 am)==--
From one update a year to two updates a month to three updates in one night... madness, I say! MADNESS!!! Several glitchy links in the Links and Jetpack sections were fixed, and some sites that I no longer enjoy or that have gone offline have been removed (Man, I can't believe that I used to be a fan of Ctrl-Alt-Delete). And in the process I accidentally destroyed the text of the April Fool's Day update and retyped it from memory! Good times, good times...
Oh, wait, I just forgot a quotation mark in one of the links; the text was still in the html, but invisible to the world. It's fixed now (I hope). Also, I've added a couple new links that have sworn to avenge their fallen comrades, unaware that I am the one who committed the murders in the first place! BUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!11
...I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm off to update the archives now.
--==April 20, 2008 (12:45 am)==--
In the middle of an update about Jetpack links, how could I forget the most important of all? After years of other ventures, Adam Pedersen has finally begun work on Jetpack 2! Go now. Watch the blog like a hawk, and wish for him to receive his encryption software so we can get a demo ASAP!
--==April 20, 2008 (12:40 am)==--
Two updates in a month? It's true! I forgot to link to a good site when I first found out about it via Schrodinger's Cat. To complement the last Jetpacky update, I show those of you who don't already know of it Home of Harbuckle. Harbuckle's a dapper gent who not only has made a plenthora of Jetpack levels, but has made graphics modules too! That's a buttload of work, so take a look at the man's stuff. This link has been added to the Links and Jetpack sections, or at least they will be once I'm done writing this sentence... now.
--==April 1, 2008==--
On a website that never updates, the perfect April Fools Day joke is to make a substantial update right? Right. So here's a project that Aeris, Surlent and I have been working on, on and off (mostly off), for the last few years; the biggest freaking Jetpack level set ever put out on this site. It's missing some documentation but I had to get it out on time.
Click here to download the 48 level epic, Nevada Jones and the Questionable Bureaucracy
In other exciting news, Jazzy now goes by the name of Surlent and Dron has taken a fancy to being called Aeris.
--==November 12, 2006==--
I made a couple of Jetpack levels the other day. It was interesting going back into that editor after all this time away from it; it's been almost a year since I've done much with Jetpack. Here's a picture that I made just for you:
--==September 5, 2006==--
It's my 21st birthday today! I celebrated by not doing my homework, guaranteeing that the next three days will be pure hell. Also, I corrected a typo in the links section! IMPORTANT STUFF PEOPLE.
--==May 12, 2006==--
Ah, finals are finally done with, and it's time to enjoy summer vacation. I'm returning home to Devils Lake for three months to work at the Wal-Mart down there since I have nowhere to stay in Fargo during the summer, so sadly there will be no updates for three months as my parents have no internet (Note that although this is real life info that I would normally only post on my LiveJournal, this is relevant to the site so I decided to crosspost). At least I have an excuse for not doing anything with the site =/.
On another note, I'd like to apologize to Dron and Jazzy for completely and utterly dissapearing from IRC over the last semester. College sucks, what can I say. I'm sorry that I haven't been spending the time with you guys that I want to, and I'll try harder to make time next semester. Until then, hope you two enjoy your summer vacations. I'd also like to apologize to Jake for not being able to make it to the tournament like I said I would. My finals ganged up on me towards the beginning of the week, and choosing cards over studying would've been academic suicide.
'til next semester then. I'll see ya.
--==April 13, 2006==--
Hooray for income tax! Not much of an update, I'm afraid; I made some Minor Changes that You Won't Notice, plus the archive's up to date. I really should try to automate some of this.
--==February 27, 2006==--
The Links section has been updated again. Although I added a few more webcomics (Go to Dresden Codak this instant!), the main emphasis was on purging sites that no longer amused me, while adding new ones to bring the list closer to matching my current bookmarks. There's some pretty cool sites in there now.
I cleaned up the Links section and finally added some webcomics I said I would add awhile back. 16 down, more as I get around to finding more banners.
--==Also December 11, 2005==--
I made an addition to the miscellaneous page, which you can see here. The addition and not the page itself, I mean.
--==December 11, 2005==--
Once upon a time, there was a ninja pirate that was also a robot. This ninja pirate robot had a pet monkey that was also a cowboy. However, instead of riding a horse, this cowboy monkey rode a Tyrannosaurus Rex that fired lasers out of its mouth. The duo was so awesome that everybody died.
The end.
--==November 29, 2005==--
--==October 21, 2005==--
Things have been pretty hectic at college and show no signs of slowing down anytime soon; balancing a part-time job and 15 credits of classes is pretty rough, but I knew what I was getting into so eh. The Miscellaneous section finally has some content; I've put up links to the files in my directory of some stuff I made in high school to fight boredom.
--==October 8, 2005==--
In my ongoing effort to bring the Den up to code so to speak, I've finally made a decent ZZT site, complete with my games, other ZZT stuff I've contributed to, and some links for good measure.
--==October 7, 2005==--
Exactly one of these statements is true.
My Uncle Steve is an architect.
Uncle Steve once built a building entirely out of human teeth, and refuses to say where he got them from.
Once, I saw Uncle Steve play the banjo. The sheer beauty of the music drove over half the crowd to commit suicide out of the sadness of knowing they would never hear such beauty again. I was saved by the ear infection I had at the time, which was affecting my hearing.
Uncle Steve can kill most small birds by glaring at them.
Uncle Steve hasn't filled his car with gas in 7 years, yet it still runs just fine. When asked how this can be, he just laughs. I think Uncle Steve may actually be Optimus Prime.
Once, I met a person who was either a dentist or a velociraptor. He challenged me to a game of horseshoes, and long story short I became the Emperor of Canada.
Being the President of Canada is an interesting and unique experience that is in many ways similar to miniature golf; the endless hills of green, artificial grass, the putters, the windmills that always block your shot...
Damn those windmills. Damn them to hades.
I was impeached the other day. Something about crashing an ocean liner into a high school 20 miles away from the nearest body of water. I was aiming for a site 25 miles inland, but they don't make catapults like they used to. I didn't hear most of what they were saying though, because I was listening to the video game music that plays in my head 24/7. That's why I'm no longer the Prime Minister of Canada, I suppose.
Damn windmills.
Did you know that 'defenestrate' means 'to throw out of a window'? That's one of the best words ever, and I try to use it whenever possible. Did I ever tell you that I used to be the Governor of Canada? Those were some good times.
My arm is acting up. The doctor says I'm holding the putter wrong when I golf, but I'm not paying him $80 an hour to think. Come to think of it, I don't pay him at all. I think he's actually my caddy.
And that, my friends, is how you make a sandwich. Share this story, and never forget the men and women who died on that fateful day.
--==October 7, 2005==--
I finally broke down and alphabetized the navbar. I also added a link to my LiveJournal in there; I was toying around with the idea of using it as my updates page (and still might), but as far as I can tell I have to get the paid membership to make my own template/whatnot. Since I don't want to switch to updating from Livejournal without making SnowyHills.jpg the background (I likes me my old, heavily compressed Mac OS wallpapers), and because I'm a cheap bastard, I'll stick with the current system, even if LiveJournal auto-time stamps entries.
This is not an update. Wheeee!
Edit: Well, I did end up fixing a couple of minor glitches, and brought the archive up to date.
--==February 20, 2005==--
WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL
Seriously though, what the hell. I'm at a loss for words.
--==January 31, 2005==--
I made some minor modifications to the Links page in preparation for the gigantic Links updates that I keep putting off. It's nothing much really, but I enjoy typing things sometimes.
...Holy crap, it's been almost three YEARS since I updated Enchanted Lobster Saga o_0. Time, why must you abandon me?!
--==January 16, 2005==--
YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION?!
Well too bad. I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Updating at 1:07 in the morning, what the hell was I thinking?
Real update: No, I don't know if I'll be updating any time soon. I've starting reading over a half-dozen new webcomics just in the last two weeks, and going through their archives in an attempt to avoid the soul-crushing homework and general emptyness of my barren college life. Work on my ZZT game Huh? is stalled out of laziness, but it's at a state where if I could just focus I could finish it in two weeks. It's only one file of a planned 4 so who knows if I'll ever finish the series, but everything starts somewhere right? It's just a shame that I couldn't finish in time for New Years, in order to compete for the last Madtom's Pick ever. Of course, I probably would've lost to Aura anyway; that thing ROCKS, and is the best ZZT game I've played in about a year. Hell, it's just about the only ZZT game I've played in a year.
If you're not playing the Megaman Zero series, go out and get MMZ3 now. It's shiny.
Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones is going to rock. I still haven't been Hector Hard Mode in Fire Emblem, though... those survival missions are absolute nightmares.
I'm 19 now, so I'm going to drop the PG-shield I've maintained around this site. I probably won't swear too much, but the Links section should be getting more interesting soon.
It's so cold, that I'm actually wearing a sweater right now. I never wear sweaters, EVER. I don't think it's allowed by my programming. I was only half-joking when I told my grandmother that I have to wear sweaters over regular shirts and tell myself that it's a jacket.
My dorm roommate moved out, and took his TV with him. My parents aren't coming to Valley City to visit until the 29th, and I'm not about to risk my life driving on icy roads of doom. My Gamecube and I are so very, very lonely.
I have an assignment for Psychology that's due on Tuesday, was assigned a week ago, and I haven't even started the reading. I'm going to do it all on Monday night, and get an A- anyway because I have underdeveloped gifts that I'm wasting in my current lazy-gamer form.
I like to drive to Fargo on Saturdays and go to the West Acres mall. It's a great place; the Pirate's Den arcade has plenty of good games, I even got up the guts to try DDR once and failed ten seconds into the song. It's a lot harder to do this sort of thing with your feet than your fingers; that Onigiri Dando series on Newgrounds lied to me, it would seem.
They have a Software Etc., it might be some other store but I know they have a bigass display case of used GBA games and that's all I care about. Any place where you can buy QIX for $5 is fine by me. They don't have a video store for some dumb reason, but there's a pretty good Target across the highway. Large department stores are almost as much fun to wander through as a mall. There's also the prerequisite book store, and in the basement there's a card shop. That's the real reason I'll drive an hour on the interstate; Yugioh. They have fun Yugioh tournaments that I go to once a month. I run a Gravekeeper's deck that does decently; I usually go 2-2 in the Round Robin and don't get into finals, which suits me since the whole thing takes too damn long anyway. I'm currently putting the finishing touches on a Fire Princess deck for the next tournament. They moved it to Sundays for some reason, but it also starts a half-hour later so I can still go to church and breakfast with Grandma Bev and make it there on time so no biggie.
God, I need a LiveJournal.
...20 minutes of just typing. That felt good. Anywho, dozens of links tommorrow, if I still feel like it then.
dron: update your site
June 20, 2004
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!
June 20, 2004
June 16, 2004
June 13, 2004
In other news, this was the logo for a website I made for a school assignment once.
Aren't you glad that thing isn't on the top of the page?
June 12, 2004
Cuba: Tuesday is Taco Tuesday.
Romania: RoMANIA!
Luxemborg: We do too exist!
Germany: We hated France before hating France was cool.
Unfortunately, it looks like one of my key sources of future updates isn't working right; I had drawn up a fair number of penguin comics that are more or less a complete rip-off of Pokey the Penguin (but a funny rip-off, dammit), but it seems that the scans just won't work right; they're all in the 500-1000k range, way too large, and when I shrink them down they're unreadable. I'll have to ink them up and try again, only now that I'm out of high school I don't have regular access to a scanner. Of course, I do have access to a huge freakin' pile of graduation money, but that's going towards a car... ah well, things will work out. There are other things I can do anyway.
Man, Big O has a weird theme song.
June 2, 2004
Also, as of Sunday I am a high school graduate. I can't help but get the feeling that I should be making a bigger deal out of that than I am.
May 21, 2004
Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Alan who wanted more than anything else to be an astronaut. His mother told him that he could be anything he wanted to be if he believed in himself. He worked very hard and was a model student. Then, one day, he was on Spring Break in New Orleans. He became very drunk and killed a man. While on the run from the law, he stumbled onto a farm. He works there now. They took his brain, so he's basically a zombie. He plays bingo and shouts "BAAAAAAAAAAAARGLH!".
There are no prizes in zombie bingo.
May 20, 2004
May 19, 2004
May 19, 2004
Its beauty says more than any mere words ever could. At any rate, I'm going to make a passing effort to update again; I've uploaded a bunch of stuff from my folders (such as that powerful work of "Art" up there) on the school server to protect it from deletion, so there's really no reason not to make links to it all. Speaking of which, it's been a year so there are plenty of new links I could add to the links section. As for the rest of the site, I'm not too sure what I'll do. I definitely want to finish Enchanted Lobster Saga so I can be done with the damn thing forever... it keeps nagging me, "C'mon, just two more chapters!". The more things change, the more they stay the same it would seem. Ah well.
Oh, and I should change the links in the links section so that they open in a seperate window.
June 30, 2003
June 12, 2003
June 11, 2003 (Yeah, again)
June 11, 2003
May 12, 2003
May 3, 2003
-Go through my backlog of quotes and add them to the quotes page
And it pretty much goes on like that. One other thing, Vraxis has officially changed his political affiliation from Communist to Anarchist, and then to Conservative. He keeps calling me a damn dirty liberal for some reason. Draw whatever meaning from that that you will.
April 20, 2003
January 16, 2003
January 11, 2003
Also note how I removed the affiliate banner linking to Endless Oddesey. "Slash" closed that site down ages ago, but that's not why I did it. Some random person asked for it, and "Slash" let him have it. Said random person is an idiot, or possibly just insane. Here's the proof. I also removed the link to my own site, for hopefully obvious reasons.
Zandor's Den may be down, but it's not out. Come back in a few weeks; things will be better then. Hope you didn't get attached to the purple color scheme.
November 11, 2002
November 10, 2002
October 20, 2002
September 27, 2002
August 4, 2002
Geez, what was I going to say? This is really annoying me.
Er, well...huh. In other almost-news, I'm trying to come up with a good ending to Enchanted Lobster Saga, but as that requires the ability to write a coherent action sequence I'm up against a bit of a wall here. It WILL be done sooner or later, hopefully sooner... In the meantime, I have a short story lying around which I wrote back in 9th grade for some sort of project or other. It has Zandor, it has "Slash", it makes little sense and, compared to Enchanted Lobster Saga, seems to be somewhere around Chapter 100 in terms of the Grand Overall Plot. In other words, out of continuity. But, it's pretty amusing, and I imagine I'll end up putting that up at some time too.
July 23, 2002
July 10, 2002
July 3, 2002
*SITE RELEVANCE WARNING*
I've began work on my 8th level set for Jetpack, tentatively called Zandor Marathon. It will be 32 levels long, the reason being so that the last level will be my 200th. five levels are done so far, and I'm fine-tuning a sixth. Also, after a two-week streak of Paper Mario I've started work on my game "Huh?" again. Zandor's Story I've completely frozen on- trying to think of a decent way to do a Zandor vs. Great Lobster fight scene that's dramatic but weird/bizarre/silly at the same time, and doesn't suffer from a DBZ sense of "WHeN WiLl iT EnD?!!1?". I'm toying with the idea of making a ZZT section, since I have a decent amount of complete ZZT-related games and opinions under my belt, but again I say Eh. Also, in Computer Programming class, Sophomore year- that is to say, last year- I made several games, some of them actually playable. I'll put those up to download eventually.
And to close, a quote from the hilarious Hsu and Chan:
Chan: By the way, your pants go on your legs, not your arms.
Which reminds me, my quotes notebook is filling up again; methink the next update will be a quotes'n'links-
WHAT WAS THAT?!!?!?!?!111 *pauses* Oh, right, fireworks.
June 15, 2002
June 4, 2002
May 29, 2002
May 20, 2002
May 16, 2002
April 29, 2002
April 22, 2002
April 20, 2002
...That has nothing to do with the new section, by the way. Honest.
March 27, 2002
March 20, 2002
March 16, 2002
March 3, 2002
In other news, I have found, to my disconcern, something of great significance: search engine Google offers no results for the phrase 'Yes, we sell flying attack monkeys.' This paragraph corrects this severe misjustice.
February 25, 2002
February 23, 2002
My computer has been giving me some rather serious trouble as of lates- the dreaded crash I've heard so much about. Windows 98 had to be reloaded, then my printer was reinstalled... tracked down some files to get Microsoft Word working again so I could finish my English Research Paper on time... but my e-mail and sound card still refuse to respond to any method of repair. Friends, when you unplug a computer to move it around in the room, make sure you turned the damn thing off first. That, coupled with my supreme laziness, is why there have been no updates for over a month now. I can't let the Den turn into another half-dead site like the AMA, Pete's Page of Random, or the Messy Canvas... I WON'T!!! (Blinks) That reminds me, I should update the links section. But, despite the lack of updates, the visits to the Den stayed the same... (frowns) ...oh well. As I tend to after a long period of sloth, I updated the easiest to update section that I'm willing to bet none of you actually go to- Quotes. I'm still chipping away at the 7th level set for Jetpack, tentatively titled 'Zandor's Joke', tentatively set for release on April Fool's Day. Because it's weird, and stuff. 8 levels left to make for that. I'm also somewhere in the middle of another graphics module for Jetpack. Also, for some cheap reason or other, all of my polls seem to have ceased function. Stupid FreePolls.com, now I have to switch all those things over to HTMLGears... that'll take forever... although, to be honest, I'll probably just get rid of a good number of them, as only some of them are getting any activity to begin with. Eh, I tire of this ranting.
January 14, 2002
January 12, 2002
December 24, 2001
December 14, 2001
December 9, 2001
December 2, 2001
November 29, 2001
November 26, 2001
November 25, 2001
November 12, 2001
November 10, 2001
November 8, 2001
October 31, 2001
(Pauses)
I've started work on a new level set for Jetpack- I've built the first five levels.
October 21, 2001
October 20, 2001
Reboot lives!!!
Cartoon has finally started airing Reboot again, and not only that- new episodes! It's season 4! Who cares that it's only ten episodes, it's back!!! (Jumps around screaming, startling tourists) If you should care to see this most excellent show, it is on Fridays at 5 o'clock eastern, 4 central. Depending on the length of the Toonami movie afterwards, either one or two episodes will be shown...
Now to get SatAM back on the air.
October 14, 2001
October 13, 2001
Blank card template borrowed from MetallicPyreal of the Pojo.com forums, who in turn found it somewhere else
Burger King picture screencapped from http://www.axioentertainment.com/main/articles/p2_articleid/37/p2_page/4
Card text from picture found at http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Burger_King
The rest of the horror by Zandor 12
Zandor: NO
dron: okay
ONE DAY I WENT INTO A STORE AND THE CASHIER WAS A RABBI AND I ASKED THE RABBI IF HE HAD ANY SHOES BUT BEFORE THAT HE ASKED WHAT HE COULD DO FOR ME SO ANYWAY THEN HE SAID THAT YES HE DID AND THEN WE JUST STOOD THERE FOR AWHILE AND THEN HE SAID "OH, YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO BUY SHOES" AND I SAID "YEAH" AND HE SAID "AT FIRST I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING IF I WAS WEARING SHOES" AND I SAID "OH" THEN HE ASKED WHAT TYPE OF SHOES I WANTED SO I SAID "BROWN ONES".
The best pop-up was the one that said I was the site's 50 millionth visitor, and that I should click on it to claim my prize. 50 million, I wish.
Holy crap, I hate these pop-ups. Thanks to the frame, I have something like three when the site loads and at least two when you go to another page. Then, there's this weird window that opens up on the side offering links to related Angelfire pages, and the closest match is THE CURRENT PAGE YOU'RE ON. It's complete madness. When I first switched to the pop-ups, it was less than half this bad. This though, this is madness.
I added a link to my comic on Stripcreator to the navbar on the left. It's fairly inconsistant, but it's something to do. And I'd like to apologize for the Blasphemy series in advance.
The world needs more mottos, don't you think? Maybe it'd increase tourism, maybe not, but if a nation can't laugh at itself then what CAN it laugh at? Besides everything else, that is. Anyway, I have taken the liberty of composing several mottos for assorted nations. If you are the leader of one or more of these nations, I accept thank yous in the form of large piles of precious gemstones.
Does anybody know how to get rid of a panda bear? There's one in my room, and it won't go away. It just sits there on my bed, and growls if I approach it. I've been working overtime and sleeping at a hotel to avoid it. It's pretty fat, so it just kinda takes gunfire in stride. I've unloaded a thousand rounds into the thing and it hasn't even flinched. I called the police, but they told me they couldn't do anything since it's an endangered species. They then told me not to bother them again, and gave me a ticket. Strangely enough, the ambulance did the exact same thing. I tried holy water, but I just ended up burning my hands. I would call in the firemen, but we had a... falling out five years ago, and we don't speak to each other anymore. I can't think of anything to do short of renting a wrecking ball and demolishing my room along with the panda, but a good wrecking ball's so hard to find these days. Ah well.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE: Ikaruga is neat. Also, I went through the links section, deleting all of the links that were dead or didn't amuse me anymore, and added somewhere around five new links too.
Apparantly I already fixed the links but forgot about it. Yay for me.
I suppose you thought that the site was dead, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?! Well, it was, but for a good reason: for the last 11 minutes months, I have carefully been crafting this picture for your enjoyment:
It took way longer than it should have, but I've finally made an update worth mentioning: I uploaded my 8th Jetpack level set, Zandor Marathon. Journey to the Downloads section and have a look. There are also some new strips at stripcreator.com too.
Current game I'm playing: Advance Wars 2.
"Maybe I should remove the latest chapter of Enchanted Lobster Saga at the bottom of this page and include a link to it's page in the archive instead. Cut down on clutter..."
Done and done.
I just realized that the left frame stays up when you leave this site to go to another one. I must find a javascript to add to that window to close it in some way. Maybe it could automatically detect when you leave www.angelfire.com/nd/zandorsden and shut down, or there could be a button you click on to do it manually. Ooh, and a menu to change the color of the text! Because I like it black but apparantely it's hard for some people to read. It's late, my mind is mush, if anyone still actually reads this forgive my babbling.
Okay, I finally remembered to reupload the jetpack .zips with the level descriptions in them, everything should be working fine now. I finally managed to finish Golden Sun and Golden Sun 2, and this time there was an actual decent ending- it leaves room for a sequel, but there's no damn *DURRR, TO BE CONTINUED BECAUSE WE ARE FAT*. This one was a lot longer than the original too- I finished the first in 32 hours, while this one lasted 55. I'm pretty sure Pokemon Blue and Silver are the only games that have taken me longer to finish. Anyway, school's been out for a few weeks, so when that's combined with beating GS:TLA, I have plenty of time to work on the site, although if the past is any indication I'll end up finding some way to whittle away the next two and a half months without getting anything constructive done. After a long pause I've restarted work on my ZZT games, or at least one of them. It actually looks like I might finish it this time too- if I can keep my focus it will be done in a month or two. Since I'm babbling, I may as well mention the car I ran into. 'Twas at Relay for Life, or as I refer to it CANCEROUS DEATH-TRAP 10000. Bigman and I were looking around for his mom, and I took a wrong turn driving into Roosevelt Park. There were two or three times as many people there as that tiny little place was meant to hold. Cars parked on both sides of the road, people running around randomly. I swear, for each cancer patient that thing saved, six or seven more were ran over in that park. Sure, no one was actually ran over there, but bear with me here. Since cars were parked on both sides of the road, 1.3 lanes of traffic were available for two lanes of traffic. I ended up bumping a show car's bumper at under 2 mph (There was also a car show that weekend... Devil's Run, one of the town's few big events) and damaged it's paint job without knowing it. After an elaborate set of circumstances, I ended up paying a $30 fine and my insurance went up, luckily for me my parents pay that. No big loss, although I was pretty traumatized at the time. Let's see... ah yes, one other thing, this one good. I'm now making some comic strips over at Stripcreator.com, which is a very nifty (although sometimes painfully limited) utility that lets you...well, make comic strips. Look for Zandor_12. Maybe I should remove the latest chapter of Enchanted Lobster Saga at the bottom of this page and include a link to it's page in the archive instead. Cut down on clutter...
In my QUEST TO DELETE THINGS WHILE TYPING IN ALL-CAPS, I butchered the text on the download page, cutting it down in size by about half. The individual descriptions for each Jetpack level have been moved from the download page to .txt files that will be added to the level set .zip files shortly, which in internet time means one or two days, or in my time means roughly seven months. Although that figure might be a tad low. Anywho, I finished Golden Sun a second time the other day and started Golden Sun 2, more of the same but it's a pretty good same so I'm not complaining. What is it though about the main characters in RPGs not talking? Sure, most of the time it hasn't bothered me- in Pokemon the characters had no personality to begin with, and in Super Mario RPG...well, it's Mario. Why would HE talk? But Felix being a mute just doesn't feel right. He had some dialogue in the first game, they established at the least a thin personality for him, then they throw it out the window. If it weren't for hair color, his current incarnation would be indistinguishable from Isaac for crying out loud! In the intro of the game, you get to play as Jenna, who somehow despite being a playable character is allowed to say more than 'yes', 'no', and those emoticon bubbles, and it just feels right. Of course, they compensated by giving her incredibly out of place battle music that sounded like it was from Mario Party, but I guess you can't have it all.
Added...it was either 4 or 5 new links, I think it was five. In other news the following things are what I'm trying to force myself to do:
-Golden Sun
-Finish Enchanted Lobster Saga
-Golden Sun
-Finish my ZZT games, make a ZZT section for them
-Golden Sun
-Convert the level descriptions on the Downloads page into .txt files included with the level set downloads, thereby vastly reducing clutter
-Golden Sun
-Find a way to convert the lego movies Bigman and I made to a digital format, then upload to site
-Golden Sun
-Add those pictures "Slash" scanned for me to the Miscellaneous section
-Golden Sun 2: The Lost Age
The site's not dead; not anymore, at least. As you can see, there's a new, better looking format with all the links to different sections in a frame to the left. The graphics were redone too. I actually finished this weeks ago, but was too lazy to save the new pages over the old ones. 'It will take at least an hour', I thought to myself, which was enough to delay it by at least a full month. Then, once I finally do it, I'm done 20 minutes later. Meanwhile, the Pokemon section...I gladly spent hours upon hours updating that, writing on minor trivia no one really cared about, then something clicked and I deleted it. The only remnants of the old Pokemon section would be the custom pokemon, which will eventually find themselves in the Miscellaneous section. Which brings me neatly to my next point- in addition to cutting away at old/unnecessary/Idontlikeitanymore parts of the Den, there will eventually be a couple of new sections. It's late now, so I'll be back later. For my first update, I went through the quotes section and deleted some of the ones that didn't make me laugh anymore. Look for the same thing to be done to links soon.
Just a short little "2000 HITS! YEE-HA!!!" message. Never mind the other counter that reads far, far higher.
Yes, I'm still alive. And yes, it's been two months. Yet traffic has remained about constant. Which confirms my suspicions that most people see my front page, realize I don't have any porn, and leave. My heart hasn't been in this site for awhile now, as you can see by the long-dwindling updates and rampant laziness on my part. But, I do not plan to shut down the site. It's been close enough to shut down for some time now. Rather, I have been working on and off on a redesign for the Den. It's nearly done, and I think that those few people who do visit the site more than once will like it. I also have some miscellaneous stuff piled up on my hard drive that will make for at least a few good updates.
Okay, or maybe I won't update today. Still though, that was one heck of a film Bigman and I made. Had pirates and everything.
In an attempt to spur myself out of my laziness I went around the site, semi-randomly deleting old pages/text/whatnot that I don't like anymore. Nothing critical. I then went around the links page, doing the same thing- weeding out the old, tossing in a little bit of the new (yeah, 1 new link. It's a good one, at least). For a grand finale, I updated the archives, mostly for my own amusement. I'm currently working on two ZZT games that should be out in a few months. When they're done, I'll make a ZZT section containing all of my games for it. I intend to make an update of substance tomorrow, presuming I can fit it in between filming a kinda-sorta stop motion lego movie with Bigman and writing a draft for my English essay; I was given eight days to do it in, and am doing it in two, because I can and I'll only lose two or three percentage points on it. I could write these things in twenty minutes while locked in a cage of rabid monkeys and still get a B-. Overly high student standards vs. average teacher standards+general grade inflation equals very easy As. Hooray for America.
I HAVE RETURNED...KINDA. I have a new computer, but it is saddled with Windows XP, aka CRASHY McSTUPID, and it keeps automatically rebooting for some damn reason; I'm starting to think I should've just had the old computer repaired instead of buying a new one, especially a Hewlett-Packard from Wal-Mart. Bah. I digress. Anyway, I need to replace CRASHY McSTUPID with Windows 98, aka UGLY YET RELIABLE. I'd just download patches for XP, but c'mon- no Dos? Microsoft must be nuts! I spend way too much time playing old Dos games like ZZT to get along without it. Therefore, I go back to UGLY YET RELIABLE, which features good ol' Dos (and therefore ZZT), satistfying all my ancient GCS needs. Next, I transfer my old files onto this newer crashier computer so I can ZZT as I did before. Ah well. Despite my computer-related WOES, I can now update again.
I'M STILL HERE. Okay, I have about five minutes on a school computer before I have to take a test so here's the deal: Internet connection was too slow to use, it got up to speed again and I was catching up on the message boards I post/lurk at, got thoroughly addicted to 8-bit Theater, (link here), then the connection slowed down a SECOND time, by the time it was working I had bought a Gamecube and Super Monkey Ball 2 (great game by the way), and then my computer crashed. Apparantly it's not healthy to leave a computer on for four months straight. I reinstalled Windows 98 a second time, then realized I had three copies of Windows 98 on my hard drive, deleted the extras and some other crap I don't use, then ran scandisk on my computer and it told me my computer was about to die, I'm going to get a new computer I can't stand my old one anymore there was the bell I gotta go.
No update of substance, but rather this: I've completed 15 levels for Zandor Marathon so far. And, uh... something else that I was going to say, but I forgot.
A massive pile of quotes, numbering somewhere in the 50's and added to nearly every quotes section. In addition, minor updates to the Jetpack, FAQs, and Links pages that you probably won't notice, but make me feel better for dealing with. One other thing: I'm removing the Status page, as I don't like updating it much at all and I doubt that anyone actually visits it.
Okay, so no quotes or links- I didn't feel lazy this time. Instead, I've added a new download to the... well, Downloads section. Not the new level set for Jetpack, though- it's an .lbm of the Christmas Graphics module that comes with Jetpack. A hearty thanks to Adam Pedersen, may he someday finish Jetpack 2. In other news, after being asked about it on the message board, I've decided to push ahead with a new section for the Den- a page that contains modules and levels sent by other people. If you have levels or modules you would like to see on the Den, then send them to me. I add them if I likes them. Eh.
And as though if the last update was incoherent enough on it's own, I again choose to build a long meaningless rant for my update, with only a few site-relevant nuggets of interestingness(?) snuck in. But anywho. MY SISTER HAD A BABY. Everybody please say a quick hello to Bailey Joy Tabor, who at her current 7 weeks is equal in size to most 7-month-olds. Tia and Matt (Remember, Tiamat is a great destructive evil force) are going to move to South Dakota in the next few weeks. I'm counting the days, good sir. Tia is... well, Tia. I wish her good luck in her ventures, especially since they shall now occur a few hundred miles away from me. Although she's not ALL bad. And now I'll barely get to see Bailey... just when she's starting to get past the phase where all she does is eat, sleep, vomit, and go to the bathroom. Eh. I'd have mentioned this earlier, but, you see, I have an unsettling tendency to deal with important things by not thinking about them until the last moment and then winging it. What's even more unsettling is how well this often works. In other news, I am no longer a bum- finally have a summer job- Cashier at Wal-Mart this time, which is light years beyond (Assisstant) Dishwasher at Mr. & Mrs. J's Family Restaurants. Retail nearly always trumps Restaurant, keep that in mind when going for your first job. Whee. And best of all, since I'm under 18, by Federal law my all my shifts are 4.5 hours, and I can never work more than five days in a row. And by the time I need full time work, that will be a non-issue- hopefully I'll have a better job by then. If not... well, at least I'll get more hours. Lifetime cashier at Wal-Mart... *shudders* Ech. But this is definitely better than Mr. & Mrs. J's.
Hsu: Ah, that will make driving much easier!
FATHER'S DAY IS TOMORROW, BILLY. DID YOU REMEMBER THE EGG SAC??? Okay, so that wasn't funny. I'd like to blame that on Hitler George W. Bush Billy a lack of ideas. Meanwhile, as a result of some e-mails from a fella by the name of Chris, I have made a new module for Jetpack. Not much actually- it's just the Christmas module with one change, but now that I have an .lbm of the Christmas Module (Thank you much, Mr. Pedersen) I'm trying to decide whether or not to push ahead with the idea I have for a Lumberjack theme... no, seriously, think about it- you fly around with an ax, looking a tad like a hatless santa in plaid with darker hair, and with most platforms looking like trees. Of course, to support the trees, it probably wouldn't work well with existing levels, so I'd have to release a new set of levels specifically for the module, or sacrifice detail in the branches... blah... blah... er, right. Link to the modified christmas module located approximately Here. Two chapters to go on Enchanted Lobster Saga... when I'm done with that I'll start on the Deus Xavier Machina Saga, and work Bigman and Vraxis into something at some point, maybe just some simple cameos. Most of the time I'd normally spend updating is being evenly split between laziness and working on a ZZT video game, tentative title "Huh?". For the large majority of visitors to this site not familiar with what ZZT is, I'll tell you what it is when I'm done with the game. Or, on the chance that you're actually curious as to what it is, here's a link to Z2, the best ZZT site around. But I'm really just talking to myself by now, and typing it now. That means stop.
Just added 29 quotes, in the Nickelodeon and Other Television sections. I also made some minor changes to various Zandor's Story chapters- 4, 15, and 20 through 22. Mostly minor ordeals such as typos and grammar mistakes, but here and there are rewritten paragraphs improving clarity, and a few jokes that flat out didn't work were taken out. I've started writing 23, but it's nowhere near done.
I just ate an orange using a spoon. School's out. Need to get a job, start saving for college, even though that's not for another two years...bleagh. Ah well, two new Custom Pokemon for you. And the new section I mentioned awhile back? It's a secret! No, really. The page is secret. I'm not telling you where it is, or what's on it. I was planning to make it a full section, and still might, but I'm too lazy at the moment. In other news, Kirby 64 is cool.
I don't think that I'll update the Pokemon section anymore- I don't like working on it, it seems to get few visitors, and I don't play Pokemon much anymore anyways- I've burnt myself out by playing it way too much. I'll probably start again when Pokemon Advance comes out next year, until then the only pokemon thing I'll work on is the Custom Pokemon section- I have a couple of those lying around that I should give to "Slash" so he can scan them in for me. As for actual updates, I give you... NOTHING!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So I'm lazy.
School's almost out (Devils Lake Public Schools start and end the school year a few weeks early for some reason), but I have to face semester tests first... bleagh. Anyways, thanks to Sokko, who told me that the link to download the Zandor's Joke Jetpack level set wasn't working properly. Links have been added in celebration, and I've finished Chapter 22 of Enchanted Lobster Saga. Either 24 or 25 will be the last one- the chapters have been getting longer as I've approached the conclusion. Meanwhile, the archives are now up to date, and the Den has had its 1300th hit. Whee.
In accordance with the prophecies, I beseech to thee (whatever beseech means) a new chapter of Enchanted Lobster Saga, below.
Once upon a time, I had a bunch of polls all over the website. Only a few people voted on them, but I liked them anyway. I guess I thought that they were neat. But then, one day the eeevil freepolls.com did something to my polls and they stopped working. Alarmed, I springed into action and promptly set about playing Golden Sun for a month instead of updating the Den. And then I came back and deleted the polls. AND THE PEOPLE WERE ALL 'YAY'.
Whoah... it's been this long already?! Geez... Well, I've finally beaten Advance Wars and Golden Sun, and after being dissapointed in both of their endings I don't have much else to do. In other news: Making a few updates within a few days of each other then waiting a month erodes your fan base! Seriously though, Golden Sun... great game, but everyone keeps talking and talking... some of the conversations say the same thing three times, and the ending- I hope that they didn't plan it that way. I hope to high heaven that Camelot ran out of time and had to leave half the game out, because if they INTENDED to make an ending like THIS... I swear I will track down their development group and sick my ARMY OF WIND-UP SOLDIERS on them... Beh. I buy the sequel when it comes out, the plot is cool, I'm looking forward eagerly to it, the audio/visual package inspires awe, but "To Be Continued..." now THAT was irksome, I tells ya! Oh, uh... actual news... I've began work on a new section... new quotes or something, and a VERY good link: OddWebsite.com. I fear that I have found yet another person on the internet stranger than I... In other news, the AMA's war effort seems to have completely ground to a halt: The Page of Random seems to have been deleted by the forces of Angelfire, apparently under the power of the Lumberjacks, and the AMA page itself has been dead for months. I must put a stop to this, I must fight Monday... I must avenge the memory of Randomia. This shall be a turning point! I hereby declare war on the Lumberjacks!!!
Added level descriptions for Zandor's Joke, and a new section: Custom Pokemon. "Slash" was kind enough to scan in the pictures for me. I need to get a scanner someday.
I've uploaded the levels to my 7th level set, Zandor's Joke, in the Downloads page.
I've gone through the site and made some general updates and slight tweaks that you either wouldn't notice or wouldn't care about, but that make me feel better for having done some actual work with the site. Meaningful updates: I've rearranged the Links and added four more, and I've finished all of the levels for the 7th Jetpack level set, and will be uploading those shortly.
After months of meaningless filler updates and basically nothing but quotes and links, I finally present an update of substance. Below is Chapter 20 of Enchanted Lobster Saga, which should run 25 chapters total. I've worked out a new system of writing them- hacking out an entire chapter in one sitting requires a good hour, and I wouldn't try to do that very often due to my inherent laziness. But now I'm writing a few paragraphs every night, encouraging me to work faster, more often, and to re-read my work for obvious errors and then either correct them or self-parody them. Here's Chapter 20: "Slash" and Lobster, the Great Indecision Battle. My other, arguably more significant update is this: I've finally finished my newest Graphics Module for Jetpack- Zandor Jetpack v2.0, a heavy overhall of my first module, Zandor Jetpack. Go here, ya monkeys.
Didn't want to feel like I was doing nothing, so I added Chapter 19 to the Zandor's Story archive, and made a few minor changes to the Zandor's Legacy page, hopefully the penguins won't mind.
I added, oh, 20 or so quotes to the Quotes page. But enough of that meaningless carp- the Den has just had it's 1000th hit!
Happy belated New Year. Well, except for that odd little bit of prose I wrote on Christmas Eve, I haven't done an actual update for about a month now. Bleh... ah well. I HAVE done some work worth an update of some sort- I've done an overhaul of the Links section, creating several new sub-sections, adding 10 new links, rearranging existing links, and deleting links that don't work anymore. One more thing- I've started a 7th level set for Jetpack, and have completed 10 levels so far. Look for that in a month or so.
I stood there in the cold, playing Ms. Pac-Man. I had went out front by the entrance ten minutes earlier to give a ten or something to the lady in the Salvation Army booth, but I had waited too long- by the time I went out, she had finally given up, closed her doors, and left. Instead, I went back into Wal-Mart and put my spare change in the thingy where the change spins around. I had my presents for Mom and Dad in a bag by my feet- shirts for Dad and jigsaw puzzles for Mom, again- and I was amazed by how badly I was doing at Ms. Pac-Man. Maybe it was the periodic blasts of cold, maybe the ice cream truck ride next to me that kept saying "Please ask another coin" in a female, Japanese accent, maybe I was getting tired of Tia and Matt wandering around in the store. "We'll come and find you." Wait- Tia, Matt... Tiamat. Vraxis and Bigman would laugh at that. Finally, they were done with their shopping, and we drove back home in the near-blizzard. December 22nd... we finally had taken care of the presents, with two days left. Merry Christmas, and Please Ask Another Coin.
I've written the 19th chapter to Enchanted Lobster saga, found here. I should be able to finish Enchanted Lobster Saga soon, which is a good thing because Deus Xavier Machina is screaming at me to write his saga and I just told Vraxis I'd write him into the story somehow.
All the Zandor's Legacy and Strategy buttons are down, and I've added level descriptions and hints for Zandor Names Everything After Himself, found in the Downloads. By the way, Kayleb has changed his name to Bigman, and due to a reason that can only be adequetely explained by Calculus formulas I don't know, the project we were working on is cancelled. It would've been a Lego RPG of some sort or other, we never got very far along. Vraxis, Bigman, and I have found a better project- we're building a Battlebot that we probably should've started on a month ago.
Also, the site had its 900th hit yesterday.
I'm taking down the link to Zandor's Legacy section, demoting it from section to page, and sticking it in the Zandor's Story section- Zandor's Legacy is simply too small and too redundant with Zandor's Story to stand as a section on its own. Hmm... at this rate, the menu on the left will be down to two buttons by January.
I added 8 or so more quotes , and took down the link to the strategy section, making good on my prior threat to get rid of it. It's in the archives , along with the news and poetry sections, which I stopped updating a year ago today.
I added some links to the SGC2C section, and two dozen or so quotes, in four or five different sections.
Ah yes, Thanksgiving. Er... (blinks) ...enough of that. After a highly exciting period of no work whatsoever, I have finished a sixth Jetpack level set, Zandor Names Everything After Himself, found in what else but the Downloads section. Ah yes, Space Ghost.
Once I fit 100 miniature marshmallows into my mouth, but then I couldn't swallow so I had to spit them out, and all the marshmallows were wasted, and I have no idea if I'm spelling marshmallow right or not. And then there was this one time where I spent the whole evening eating sunflower seeds, and then, for some reason, I got thirsty. Then there was The Simpsons. And somehow, despite this madness I finished two more Jetpack levels and invented the internet, and officially decided to stop trying to make sense, banana. Oh yes indeedy.
...and seven more Jetpack levels are done. I also added a link to Gamefaqs.com, an extremely useful site full of... game faqs. And reviews. And several thousand message boards. Which brings me to my next fatality, er, victim- I'm not going to update the Strategy section anymore, as it's er, a pain in the rear end to come up with anything for, and Gamefaqs does everything it did a hundred times more and better. So, um, yeah... and by the way, visit the Anti-Monday Association. The fight against that most vile of weekdays and all its evil forces-lumberjacks, squirrels, radishes, lawnmowers, magic milk, and all the others-needs your help! And make sure to stop Stacy the Omnipotato and her potato-worshipping cult by eating every potato you come across. And, um, er, ...what? No, I'm not nuts... this is all real, going on beneath your eyes! The cows are coming, all will conquer the world with their vile plan to contaminate our atmosphere with methane... heh, uh... (hits self in head with balled-up sock) man, I need to stop drinking caffinated soda... Oh wait, I did four months ago...
Another non-update- five more Jetpack levels of the 6th set are done. The site had its 800th hit yesterday, and today someone must really like this thing because they visited it nine times in a row, resulting in a record day of 10.
Ah yes, Halloween. There's a nasty fog cloud in town, so unfortunately there won't be that many little kids going door to door trick-or-treating. Although you know there will be at least one person out there, dressed as the Black Ghost...
Chapter 18 of Enchanted Lobster Saga is now available for the low, low price of the five or so minutes of your time it will take to read.
I was bored today, so instead of doing any meaningful work, I just played Mischief Makers instead. Then, I got bored of that and I made some updates to the site- a bunch of general, minor modifications you probably wouldn't care about. Oh, and one other thing-
I added chapters 16 and 17 to the Archive doohickey , and now I'm off to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Dr. Weird is my idol.
Wow, I sleeped a really long time. Blame it on laziness and homework. Well, I managed to finish chapter 17, although since I thought it stank almost as bad as chapter 6 I gave it a thorough re-writing. I'll have more time to update now, at least for a little while- I am now officially unemployed. Here's a free tip for those of you just entering the work force- take dishwashing as your first job. The way I see it, if you start out at the absolute bottom then you'll nowhere to go but up.
