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If you can't make 'em laugh, then confuse them.

Hello, and welcome to my Den. I'm Zandor 12, and this is a web sort of thing. Feel free to wander around and get lost, and if you ever need to leave just ask the dancing penguins. I recommend the Jetpack and ZZT sections, and Zandor's Story is good for a laugh if you enjoy hilariously terrible (and incomplete) fiction. I usually update once, maybe twice a week month year decade. If you have any questions, go ahead and ask me.

Look, I can do actual HTML!
Click here to load the navbar if you came here through a search engine and can't get to the other sections. I use frames because I don't know jack about making websites.

--=="Recent" Updates==--

--==February 5, 2018==--

Did some more housekeeping. I deleted the Downloads page, moving the Jetpack content to the Jetpack page and the Watch Out Willi levels to the Miscellaneous page. I spruced up and properly organized the Miscellaneous page, and heavily rewrote the Jetpack page to trim down the text. I also finally added Nevada Jones and the Questionable Bureaucracy to the Jetpack page (in less than a decade!) so that people visiting from Adept Software will actually see it, condensed my graphics modules to a single download, and updated the single download option for my levels to include Nevada Jones and have all levels in a single folder instead of several subfolders for ease of use. Resuming radio silence... now.

--==February 4, 2018==--

Nothing much to see here, just updating the links and quotes to suit my current tastes. Lots of quotes and links eliminated, (some) new links added. I should probably launch this site from a cannon into the sun and start anew, but eh. Oh, I also deleted the defunct message board and Livejournal links. The message board doesn't work anymore, and the Livejournal hasn't updated since 2011. Then I merged the Space Ghost section with the Miscellaneous section 'cause I'M ON A ROLL, BABY!

--==February 17, 2013==--

--==September 18, 2010==--

Time moves too quickly. On the plus side, it turns out the all-in-one printer I bought for $5 from a thrift store is fully functioning and worth at least $100 new. I've scanned in a bunch of old sketches and notes onto my computer, sorted them, and am in the early steps of transcribing the text portions. Most of this is unimportant but there's some stuff in there that would make for good updates.


After several weeks of looking at Google Analytics, I've learned a lot about the site's traffic. It appears that my suspicions were partially right; a large majority of my traffic stumbles across random pages via search engine, and rarely enters the site via the main index page that loads the updates page and a navbar. However, the most popular page is not the Jetpack page; that one is actually in a distant second place to the Quotes section! Having quotes from so many different sources is a search engine magnet, it turns out. The Misc and Updates pages picked up the bulk of the remaining pageviews in August; in September Misc has receeded to be no more popular than the Faqs and Links sections. About half of the people who go to the Jetpack page go to the Downloads page; presumably most of those people are already interested in the downloads on offer and get themselves some Jetpack levels, although there are surely some people who get there via search engine and not the Jetpack page's prominent link.

Nobody has looked at the Space Ghost section, which is good since the fan-scripts I have there are... not that great, to put it one way (Or terrible, to put it another way). I think I'll ax that section and add the contents to the misc section. I still like the show and all, but it's clear I'll never update its page again.

Meanwhile, exactly one brave soul has looked at Enchanted Lobster Saga in the last month (vs 90 for Quotes, 14 for Jetpack, 13 for Updates, 7 for Downloads and 2 or less for the other sections). They went straight to chapter 22, probably via the update page's link, which kinda sucks for them since it's a weird spot to start reading the story (not as bad as the awful first chapter though, ha).

It feels weird for the Quotes section to get way more hits than everything else combined since I put so much more effort into the other areas (after five years of neglect it's still getting nearly as much traffic as the main page did in the site's prime ferchrissakes!), but if some of the people looking for the quotes end up looking at the other content too then it's all cool.


Anyway, no content to offer today save a few quotes. The scans will likely yield some good miscellany at some point though. I'll keep the Google Analytics talk to a minimum in the future.

--==August 30, 2010==--


--==August 8, 2010==--

I lied!!! Instead of doing something interesting I went through the Quotes section and added to each quote the show it came from; there were a few where it wasn't clear. Webcomics never seem to provide link banners anymore; I've had to make the last few I've added to the Links section, and this has made it a pain to link to new(ish) comics I like. BUT THE BATTLE IS NOT OVER UNTIL I OR THE BATTLE DECIDER 3000 SAY IT IS!


--==August 7, 2010==--

I decided to get a new counter that can keep track of all pages on the site, and ended up getting Google Analytics without fully understanding what it was. I had to add a bit of javascript to each page I wanted to keep track of, so I ended up going through each page of the Den and made several minor changes.

-Several new quotes for the Quotes section (its first update in five years)
-A few new questions for the FAQs section (it's probably been about five years since I've touched that too)
-Some slight tweaks to the writing of the Jetpack, Lego, and Archives sections
-Added a new sub-section to the Misc section. Or I restored access to an old-sub section, I'm not really sure. It has creatures that resemble Pokemon of some sort in it.
-Spruced up the links a little further; I can't believe I wasted space with links to eBay, GameFaqs, Wikipedia and Youtube. Yeah, they're good sites but they're so HUGE that almost everybody knows what they are!
-Noticed that there are several uploaded files that haven't been added to the Misc section. The next update will probably consist of more links, and the adding of these files to the Misc section.

I saw a printer/scanner/copier at the second-hand store for five dollars and bought it on a whim. It doesn't seem to be compatible with my laptop, which means some material that would fit in with the Misc section will remain unscanned. But on the plus side, it makes for a surprisingly decent footstool; I'm using it right now, in fact.

--==July 31, 2010==--

Updated the links section for the hell of it. This isn't a revival, although I do have some ideas now for how to conclude that Waldo subplot in Enchanted Lobster Saga. Did anybody ever read that thing other than Dron? Back when the site was active, I should've put web counters on each page so that I'd know what was popular. I'd imagine that the Jetpack section is the biggest one since there's a link to it on Adept Software's Jetpack site, but it would be nice to see what's in second place.

--==April 20, 2008 (1:56 am)==--

THIS IS THE LAST UPDATE FOR THE NIGHT I PROMISE! After years of working (also not working) on it, Aeris has completed part 1 of Algorithm, his ZZT project to end all ZZT projects. Those of you familiar with his 2003-era monstrosities that he released under his old name of Develin are in for quite the pleasant surprise. Take a look at his website for a download.

C'mon, dooooo iiiiiit.

Also the archives are up to date now. Me go sleep now.

--==April 20, 2008 (1:26 am)==--

From one update a year to two updates a month to three updates in one night... madness, I say! MADNESS!!! Several glitchy links in the Links and Jetpack sections were fixed, and some sites that I no longer enjoy or that have gone offline have been removed (Man, I can't believe that I used to be a fan of Ctrl-Alt-Delete). And in the process I accidentally destroyed the text of the April Fool's Day update and retyped it from memory! Good times, good times...

Oh, wait, I just forgot a quotation mark in one of the links; the text was still in the html, but invisible to the world. It's fixed now (I hope). Also, I've added a couple new links that have sworn to avenge their fallen comrades, unaware that I am the one who committed the murders in the first place! BUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!11

...I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm off to update the archives now.

--==April 20, 2008 (12:45 am)==--

In the middle of an update about Jetpack links, how could I forget the most important of all? After years of other ventures, Adam Pedersen has finally begun work on Jetpack 2! Go now. Watch the blog like a hawk, and wish for him to receive his encryption software so we can get a demo ASAP!

--==April 20, 2008 (12:40 am)==--

Two updates in a month? It's true! I forgot to link to a good site when I first found out about it via Schrodinger's Cat. To complement the last Jetpacky update, I show those of you who don't already know of it Home of Harbuckle. Harbuckle's a dapper gent who not only has made a plenthora of Jetpack levels, but has made graphics modules too! That's a buttload of work, so take a look at the man's stuff. This link has been added to the Links and Jetpack sections, or at least they will be once I'm done writing this sentence... now.

--==April 1, 2008==--

On a website that never updates, the perfect April Fools Day joke is to make a substantial update right? Right. So here's a project that Aeris, Surlent and I have been working on, on and off (mostly off), for the last few years; the biggest freaking Jetpack level set ever put out on this site. It's missing some documentation but I had to get it out on time.

Click here to download the 48 level epic, Nevada Jones and the Questionable Bureaucracy

In other exciting news, Jazzy now goes by the name of Surlent and Dron has taken a fancy to being called Aeris.

--==November 12, 2006==--

I made a couple of Jetpack levels the other day. It was interesting going back into that editor after all this time away from it; it's been almost a year since I've done much with Jetpack. Here's a picture that I made just for you:

--==September 5, 2006==--

It's my 21st birthday today! I celebrated by not doing my homework, guaranteeing that the next three days will be pure hell. Also, I corrected a typo in the links section! IMPORTANT STUFF PEOPLE.

--==May 12, 2006==--

Ah, finals are finally done with, and it's time to enjoy summer vacation. I'm returning home to Devils Lake for three months to work at the Wal-Mart down there since I have nowhere to stay in Fargo during the summer, so sadly there will be no updates for three months as my parents have no internet (Note that although this is real life info that I would normally only post on my LiveJournal, this is relevant to the site so I decided to crosspost). At least I have an excuse for not doing anything with the site =/.

On another note, I'd like to apologize to Dron and Jazzy for completely and utterly dissapearing from IRC over the last semester. College sucks, what can I say. I'm sorry that I haven't been spending the time with you guys that I want to, and I'll try harder to make time next semester. Until then, hope you two enjoy your summer vacations. I'd also like to apologize to Jake for not being able to make it to the tournament like I said I would. My finals ganged up on me towards the beginning of the week, and choosing cards over studying would've been academic suicide.

'til next semester then. I'll see ya.

--==April 13, 2006==--

Hooray for income tax! Not much of an update, I'm afraid; I made some Minor Changes that You Won't Notice, plus the archive's up to date. I really should try to automate some of this.

--==February 27, 2006==--

The Links section has been updated again. Although I added a few more webcomics (Go to Dresden Codak this instant!), the main emphasis was on purging sites that no longer amused me, while adding new ones to bring the list closer to matching my current bookmarks. There's some pretty cool sites in there now.

--==February 9, 2006==--

I cleaned up the Links section and finally added some webcomics I said I would add awhile back. 16 down, more as I get around to finding more banners.

--==Also December 11, 2005==--

I made an addition to the miscellaneous page, which you can see here. The addition and not the page itself, I mean.

--==December 11, 2005==--

Once upon a time, there was a ninja pirate that was also a robot. This ninja pirate robot had a pet monkey that was also a cowboy. However, instead of riding a horse, this cowboy monkey rode a Tyrannosaurus Rex that fired lasers out of its mouth. The duo was so awesome that everybody died.

The end.

--==November 29, 2005==--

Blank card template borrowed from MetallicPyreal of the forums, who in turn found it somewhere else
Burger King picture screencapped from
Card text from picture found at
The rest of the horror by Zandor 12

--==October 21, 2005==--

Things have been pretty hectic at college and show no signs of slowing down anytime soon; balancing a part-time job and 15 credits of classes is pretty rough, but I knew what I was getting into so eh. The Miscellaneous section finally has some content; I've put up links to the files in my directory of some stuff I made in high school to fight boredom.

--==October 8, 2005==--

In my ongoing effort to bring the Den up to code so to speak, I've finally made a decent ZZT site, complete with my games, other ZZT stuff I've contributed to, and some links for good measure.

--==October 7, 2005==--

Exactly one of these statements is true.

My Uncle Steve is an architect.

Uncle Steve once built a building entirely out of human teeth, and refuses to say where he got them from.

Once, I saw Uncle Steve play the banjo. The sheer beauty of the music drove over half the crowd to commit suicide out of the sadness of knowing they would never hear such beauty again. I was saved by the ear infection I had at the time, which was affecting my hearing.

Uncle Steve can kill most small birds by glaring at them.

Uncle Steve hasn't filled his car with gas in 7 years, yet it still runs just fine. When asked how this can be, he just laughs. I think Uncle Steve may actually be Optimus Prime.

Once, I met a person who was either a dentist or a velociraptor. He challenged me to a game of horseshoes, and long story short I became the Emperor of Canada.

Being the President of Canada is an interesting and unique experience that is in many ways similar to miniature golf; the endless hills of green, artificial grass, the putters, the windmills that always block your shot...

Damn those windmills. Damn them to hades.

I was impeached the other day. Something about crashing an ocean liner into a high school 20 miles away from the nearest body of water. I was aiming for a site 25 miles inland, but they don't make catapults like they used to. I didn't hear most of what they were saying though, because I was listening to the video game music that plays in my head 24/7. That's why I'm no longer the Prime Minister of Canada, I suppose.

Damn windmills.

Did you know that 'defenestrate' means 'to throw out of a window'? That's one of the best words ever, and I try to use it whenever possible. Did I ever tell you that I used to be the Governor of Canada? Those were some good times.

My arm is acting up. The doctor says I'm holding the putter wrong when I golf, but I'm not paying him $80 an hour to think. Come to think of it, I don't pay him at all. I think he's actually my caddy.

And that, my friends, is how you make a sandwich. Share this story, and never forget the men and women who died on that fateful day.

--==October 7, 2005==--

I finally broke down and alphabetized the navbar. I also added a link to my LiveJournal in there; I was toying around with the idea of using it as my updates page (and still might), but as far as I can tell I have to get the paid membership to make my own template/whatnot. Since I don't want to switch to updating from Livejournal without making SnowyHills.jpg the background (I likes me my old, heavily compressed Mac OS wallpapers), and because I'm a cheap bastard, I'll stick with the current system, even if LiveJournal auto-time stamps entries.

--==October 1, 2005==--

This is not an update. Wheeee!

Edit: Well, I did end up fixing a couple of minor glitches, and brought the archive up to date.