This section contains an archive of any various stories I write for the site. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are bad, and sometimes they are so bad that they're good, but they're all here for better or worse.
-Enchanted Lobster Saga-
It was suppossed to be just a simple story about a moose, his friends, and an evil superlobster hellbent on messing up some serious shit, but alas; it just didn't work out that way. Well it did, but the story is... well... interesting. I wrote most of the chapters as I went along, and as a result they tend to go all over the place and not get much done. They're also mostly very short, since up until Chapter 19 or so I wrote them all in one sitting. Also, weird stuff kept popping up near the end, that had nothing to do with the main narrative- I still don't know where I got that Matthew Lesko stuff from. I had plans to make a 12 chapter saga, and was on track to finish in a few months, making new chapters roughly once a week; after 22 chapters and roughly six years (with four years since the last chapter I think), I'm still not done. I'm the laziness poster child. Ah well. As far as fiction goes, this is probably a failure, but it's an interesting failure. Decent plot and humor, with terrible-to-the-point-of-not-being-funny dialogue that's being rewritten, you may as well check it out since you're here.
It gets better after the first chapter.
In fact, the story's better if you don't read the first chapter at all.
Chapter 1: The Saga Begins
Chapter 2: The Pet Store
Chapter 3: The Scent of Onions
Chapter 4: The Legend of Great Lobster
Chapter 5: The Rabid Hyena
Chapter 6: The Dazed Little Kitten
Chapter 7: Hummingbirds
Chapter 8: Tropics
Chapter 9: Landing
Chapter 10: And Now, for Some Actual Plot Developement
Chapter 11: Let's all get Mad at Each Other for some Reason or Other
Chapter 12: A Very Brady Showdown of Death, Part 1
Chapter 13: No Need for a Tenchi Muyo Parody... So There Won't Be One
Chapter 14: My Name is "SLASH!"
Chapter 15: Frosty and the Giant Fireball of Death
Chapter 16: My Garbled Mess
Chapter 17: Okay, So Now What?
Chapter 18: Zandor and Company, the Great Search Battle
Chapter 19: Steve and Palisade, the Great Merge Battle
Chapter 20: "Slash" and Lobster, the Great Indecision Battle
Chapter 21: "Slash" and Frosty, the Great Debate Battle
Chapter 22: Elder and Explanation, the Great Question Battle
Chapter 23: Zandor and Lobster, the Great Destiny Battle (coming out sometime around 2012, give or take)
Chapter 24: The Gods are Laughing at You (coming out sometime around 2034, give or take)
A rewrite of earlier chapters to improve the dialogue, and include backstories I thought up for Steve, Great Lobster, and Diamond Palisade (Actually, I should probably do this before chapters 23 and 24)
Deus Ex Machina Saga: Holy Crap, What the Hell am I Thinking Doing Another One (If I do this, which I probably won't, it will be MUCH shorter than Enchanted Lobster Saga)
Non-Update: Chapter 23 has been written, and isn't too bad. It covered less ground than I had anticipated though, so either 23 will be rewritten, 24 will be super-long, or there will be 25 chapters. I'll wait until the whole thing's done before updating though, because I'm crazy like that.
Don't understand who these insane people are? THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU- er, sorry, almost lost control there for a moment. Anyway, here's the Zandor's Legacy page, an exquisite piece of confused blithering by the dancing penguins. I suppose this is what I get for actually letting them do something important. Oh well. I think it was supposed to be biographies of the characters from Zandor's Story, but there are a bunch of other people who have nothing to do with anything in there too.
I wouldn't know why anyone would want to steal my writings, at least after reading them, but nonetheless Enchanted Lobster Saga, everything related to it, and all past, present, and future chapters are copyright 2000-whatever year it currently is by Zandor 12. Also, never forgot that... er... yeah.
