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WHAT'S ON
Skip Manzerak's Live Music Guide.
Hi Skip Manzerak here. With all your local gig listings over the coming weeks and boy were in for some big treats here!
This weekend see's the return of country music legend Biff Whalens to the Moncton Legion Club.
Whalens, (pictured left) best remembered for his string of 60's hits such as 'Pilgrim Boys Ahoy!', 'Shake that Mother loose' and 'Granny's Got Eyes for You'
will churning out his bee-pop-a-loo-la classics as well as showcasing some new stuff with his backing band 'The Cheetin' Cheetaz'. Tickets are reasonably priced at $100.00 each.
Also open for business and promoting local musical talent will be the 'Peroxide' Club on Mountain Road. The Turquoise Traffic Cones debut here in two weeks. The Nova Scotian soft-metal sensations will be showcasing their second album 'Liberals Crushed My Balls' support acts include Mamma Bakes Great Cakes and local Moncton high school harmonica impressario Bertha Junkett.Tickets are $20 on the door.
Finally it's rumoured that sensational folk singing legend Matilda 'Bottleneck' McBeal is planning some outdoor concerts here in the hub city. She will be accompanied as ever by her faithful gospel backing band 'The Bottlenecks'
ALBUM REVIEWS
The life and times of one of the world most influencial people has been documented here in The Pope's new book 'Saints and Sinners'
For over twenty-five years Archibald Smith of Italy has been the head of the Catholic Churchood, preaching sermons to his devout follows ever since! Not to mention spreading some good will around the world too!
Here for the very first time, The Pope writes about his life. His childhood, his teenage years and after his teenage years. All the famous stories are here, like the time when Archibald was at an anti-nazi rally in Dresden before WWII, Hitler drove by and Archie gave him the one-finger salute! Other greats include Archie selling religious cigarette lighters to foreign tourists, being thrown out of a well known Las Vegas casino for calling Sinatra a fag and publicly denouncing all those Boston Bishops for frequenting strip clubs. Its all here and is a great read. Its worth every penny!
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LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT
Reviewed By Stella Starr.
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Hi Boys and Grrrls! Stella Starr here! Bringing you all the latest arse-smackin', rib crackin' happenin' gossip from New Brunswick's Art and Entertainment world!
New Brunswick is gearing up to be the hottest place for entertainment this year. From massive theatrical productions involving the expulsion of the Acadiens from various non-descriptive parts of the province- to say more bountiful places like Louisiana. To Buksers on our streets begging for money while telling their dogs to crap on the sidewalk. It's going to be a truly vibrant and productive year!
I recently met with Janet Sparrow an amazing woman from Grand Falls who can rotate her head 360 degrees. I asked her how she managed such an impossible feat. She told me that she was born with an elastic band for a neck. I didn't quite believe her but nonetheless watching her rotating her head was truly awsome! Janet along with her sister Gertie (The Human Dog haired woman) will be doing some impromtu performances along Moncton's Main Street throughout the summer.
Also catch the residents of Oromocto do their annual Sod-turning ceremony. For about a week many residents will be turning the land in readiness to grow potatoes and onions, afterwhich they will begin 'The Spreading of the Muck ceremony'. Dr Barry Gardener will be on hand to officialate the proceedings and lime cordials will be on hand for refreshments.
Also in June why not come down to the Atlantic Crackpipe Baptist Church in Fredericton and enjoy their annual week long Pancake Bake-A-Thon. There will be an all you can eat Buckwheat Beans and Sausage medley served daily from 9am-6pm
Dieppe's Expanding Waistlines and Overeaters United will be joining forces to to combine their body weight in an an attempt to break the current world record held in Hartford, Connecticut for the fattest City in North America title.
Finally The Moncton chapter for Middle-aged Swingers will be holding an open day in an attempt to lure new swingers to their club. The open day will be held at the Ex-ottica sex shop on Geroge Boulevard.
Be good, wipe your nose and imprtantly stay clean! Until next time hipsters!
OBITUARIES
Canada's fattest funnyman dies at 36
William Bubovski, aka Billy Boobs died yesterday evening while starring in his hugely successful one-man comedy hit 'Oh My Gawd'. Billy star of many films like "Boob Tube, "My two Boobs" and " Meet The Twins" was born William Edgar Bubovski to Polish immigrants in Bathurst, New Brunswick.
Billyrose to the top of his game as "Betty Boobs - Queen of drag" but soon found fame starring in movies usually playing big fat food gorging hero's.
He is a big loss to the Canadian stage and screen and will be hugely missed. A tribute to Billy will be held at St. Bozeliste's Church of latter day Transvestites next week in Bathurst.
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