Happy Birthday, Adam
Topic: From a Father

Twenty-three years ago today, it was the first day of Final Exams for my second semester in the Masters program at Purdue. I didn't have any exams that day, so Adam decided to be born, four weeks early. I was already inclined to place "family" higher on my priority list than most other things, but this event certainly helped start my fatherhood out on the right course.

A few things I will always remember about that week:

• After leaving the hospital that day to go back to Married Student Housing to try to study for my exams, I turned on the car radio. The song which was playing: "Let's Hear it for the Boy." FEver since then, I've always thought of Adam when hear that song.
  
• I did better on the finals I had that week than I had done on any of the other tests I had taken previously at Purdue. It makes no sense -- I certainly didn't feel like I was more focussed.
  
• Sherry got to stay in the hospital for four or five days. In those days, insurance paid for whatever the hospital said was necessary. There were so few babies in the maternity ward (I think Adam was the only one for a while) and the nurses knew they would be sending a first-time mom back to a student father -- they wanted to keep mom and baby a few days to let everyone get some needed rest.
  

And now, Adam's working full-time. The wedding date has been set for June 21, 2008. He owns a home. He's one of my favorite people. And he still helps me keep my priorities straight.

Well done, son. Happy birthday!

Future Toast
Topic: From a Father

This weekend, I got an idea for the "Father of the Bride" toast I could give at Leah's wedding reception.
Leah is currently sixteen years old, and not even close to getting married. But I got the idea nonetheless.
Since it's possible she might some day read this, I have to leave out the details. But it relates to something she once gave me, and I now have it stored safely with some memorabilia so I can find it again in, say, ten years.

And what about a toast for Sarah's wedding reception? Have I gotten that far? Not yet. I have thought for years that Sarah and I ought to write a father/daughter wedding duet, and sing it at her wedding. I remember mentioning it to Sarah once -- I wonder if she remembers.

Yet, it's Adam who will get married first. Hmmm, I wonder if people still do those toasts? A co-worker of mine says his daughter did it last year. Once they have all the other stuff planned, I'll have to ask Adam and Marisa about it.

On the other hand, it might well be that I'll be too choked up to give a toast anyway. Last week at choir we practiced a piece for which Sarah sang the solo in 2000. I remembered the song well because the first time we performed it, I couldn't really sing once the solo began. I just listened to Sarah and realized I was too caught up with pride to be able to sing.

Can I imagine being able to speak at the kids' wedding receptions if I couldn't sing during a normal church service?

Old softie!

Congratulations! Times Two! No, wait! Times Three!
Mood:  happy
Topic: From a Father
Happy 16^th Birthday, Leah!

Transitions; they keep happening! What a great 16-year-old Leah will make! Tonight, we celebrate. Tomorrow, we host her birthday party. How excellent!

But wait! There's more!

Congratulations to Adam -- and Marisa! On March 7, just yesterday, they got engaged!

The smiles on all of the faces in the house were amazingly big and bright.

Our family is growing up. And growing!

And the First Shall Be ..... First
Topic: From a Father
Adam has moved out.

This is very, very strange.

As you no doubt know, Adam graduated from Luther last spring. He came back home to live with us until he found a place. In some sense, we were actively "pushing" him out. It's something Sherry and I decided to do for our kids long ago -- we believe that the analogy of a mother bird pushing her chicks out of the nest to force them to fly is apt. We knew it would be emotionally hard to see one of our kids move out. And, for me at least, it was. But we know it's ultimately for the best.

I expected to miss him immediately -- and I do. Somewhat strange, since I have seen so little of him lately -- his schedule and mine just don't provide much opportunity for seeing one another. Yet, of course, I knew I would have a feeling of nostalgic longing, mixed with parental pride. And I have that. In spades.

But what is unexpectdly working at my mind is how Adam is the one who gets to go through all this stuff first.
I mean, it makes sense, of course, but nevertheless, it's remarkable how many life milestones I reach which are directly connected to my firstborn.

This does not mean I do not mark, or feel, the milestones with the others. Lucas going off to college was a big deal. Sarah -- same thing. Leah getting dressed up for her first formal dance. They all affect me.

But when I first notice a new chapter in my life, it's almost always connected to Adam.

I wish him well, and I am amazingly proud of him.

Now, if I can just deal with the "missing."

Little Girl No Longer
Topic: From a Father
Transitions. Life is full of them. Last night, this father witnessed the approach of another.

The Century Concert Choir held their spring concert the evening of April 25. It is the final local concert for my daughter, Sarah, as a high school student. In five weeks, she will graduate, and then head off to college. Seeing her perform with the group to which she has devoted so much time, energy and passion over the past three years would have been moving enough, but last night went beyond that.

The concert was set up in two segments. In the first, the Concert Choir sang five pieces. They performed with excellence, as usual. Sarah had a solo in one, and another was the F. Melius Christiansen version of ?Beautiful Savior? which had been the traditional alumni song at the Decorah High School Christmas concert when I was in that choir. The second segment was for ?Senior Recitals? ? choir members who will be graduating performed alone or in groups, showcasing their individual musical gifts. It was during this portion of the program that my ?little girl? served notice that she is, indeed, growing up.

Sarah and her boyfriend Vang reached center stage to perform the sixth piece in the Senior Recital program. They locked hands, half facing each other, and half facing the audience, and sang a duet ? a love song ? with such feeling that it was clear to everyone in the audience that this was no mere performance. If anyone attending did not know that the two of them were a ?couple? before the song, I?m sure they were convinced by hearing these two. Their voices blended perfectly. At times, Sarah was on melody, in her pure soprano voice. At other times, Vang?s tenor took the lead and Sarah dropped into an alto sub-harmony. Smiling, expressive, dynamic, and moving, the two delivered the highlight of the evening.

Here she was, my little Sarah, announcing to the world, to her friends, and to me, that she is growing up, moving on, and will soon be emerging as a young woman who is ready to explore the full passion of life, to break away from the comforts of her childhood home and make a new place, her own place, in the world.

Welcome to the rest of your life, Sarah. You are ready. God bless.