Paralyzed in the Swamp
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: "Affirmation" by Savage Garden
Topic: Time

Why is it that one of the most frequent responses I have to being swamped is to get paralyzed into inaction?

It's so counterproductive!

With too much work to do, doing nothing is helping me exactly not at all.

To-Do lists help.

Until the list gets so long, you need to add "prioritize this list" to the list!

Stop. Breathe. Close your eyes. Breathe again.

Take a cleansing breath.

Get back to it.

There. That helped.

A Month Ago
Now Playing: "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel
Topic: Time
One month ago today, I officially started my Christmas vacation.

"One month" -- say the phrase. Does it sound like a long time?

I've been back to work for more than two weeks, and I don't think I've even blogged about Christmas and New Year's.

Christmas⁽¹⁾ really is the most wonderful time of year. For me, at least. Really wonderful things can happen at other times; that's for sure. Last year's spring break trip to Disney World was as wonderful as Christmas, but it's an isolated incident, and it doesn't happen every year.

But at Christmas, I get to experience the anticipation of the events which will happen, and then I get to experience them, and finally I get to remember them. Buying gifts is great -- I get to think about the people I love and how I can brighten their day with something they want. Taking a break from work is great -- the stress can melt away for a couple weeks. Spending time with my family is great; listening to, and singing, Christmas songs is great; sleeping late is great; hosting friends is great; playing games and watching movies and eating scrumptious goodies and being surrounded by holiday decorations -- all great. And yes, celebrating the birth of the Savior. The Reason for the Season.

It's hard to believe that it's only been a month since vacation started. In many ways, Christmas vacation seems like it's not part of Real Time. I get so disconnected from the daily grind that I forget what day of the week it is, and I don't stress about deadlines, budgets and all the other things that occur in Real Time. But once vacation ends, and I go back to Real Time, vacation is unreachable. It's Past, but not Real Time Past. In the Real Time Past, things happened that I have to remember: What was that deadline? What was that budget? In the Christmas Vacation Past the things that happened are things I want to remember.

I don't know -- somehow, Christmas deserves a better entry than this. But I am not going to just throw this away, simply because it's not yet good enough. I stop myself from expressing my thoughts too often using that excuse.

There are plenty of wonderful things to which I can look forward this year. I am not morose and sad that Christmas is over. It was wonderful. I look back on it fondly. And I look forward to the next one, as well.
------------------------------------------------------

⁽¹⁾Despite my pastor's yearly attempts to convince me otherwise, "Christmas" means "the period of time leading up to December 25th, and following, when we anticipate and experience the celebration of Christ's birth." This certainly includes the holy day, but it also includes the many blessings which are a part of the season.

I'm spending HOW long on that?
Now Playing: Still nothing. How strange.
Topic: Time
So, last night, as we finished playing the new Link/Zelda game on the Wii for the evening, I noticed that we've spent over 26 hours on it so far.

26 HOURS!

Am I really better off knowing how much of my life is being spent on that game?

I think other things in life should have those "counters." How much time do I spend:

• in traffic? (not much, compared to "city folk")
  
• watching TV just because I have a few minutes and can't think of anything else I can get done in that time?
  
• Waiting for everyone else to be ready so we can go to church? (Or whatever ... To be fair, this counter doesn't get incremented much anymore. Not because I don't go to church, but most of the time, it's just three of us, and we either go in two cars, or we're just more in sync than we were when there were six and Adam was one of them. :-)
  
• Reading Fantasy Football stuff (yikes - at least this counter doesn't go up as quickly)
  
• Reading fiction -- I want this one to grow much more than it has in the last 15 years.
  

Civ III Complete tells me how long a game TOOK -- but thankfully doesn't tell me how long it's TAKING.

The Time of My Life - Perspective #1
Mood:  sharp
Topic: Time
Time.

"Now" is the only time. But it's already gone.

I have often thought about time. And when I typed the title "The Time of My Life" I realized I would have to differentiate this set of thoughts from others. (I also realized I can't think of that phrase without thinking of "Dirty Dancing" but that's a topic for another time.)

We humans seem to have trouble with this particular aspect of time: we only have a limited supply of it, and once any part of it is gone, it is irretrievable. It is past, in two senses of the word.

So when we spend our time doing anything -- and I mean anything -- have we given any thought to what we will wish we had done with that time, once our time grows short?

Right at this moment, when I am writing this, I am deciding not to do other things. Will I wish, tomorrow or next week or next year or when I'm 64, wish I had done something else with the time it took to write this?

Let's quantify it monetarily. In the time it takes to write this blog, I could go out to a brokerage site and buy 100 shares of some stock. A year from now, that stock will have done something. Because I spent time writing this, I did not get the gain, or take the loss, from that stock.

I have 400 pages of stories to read in "The Year's Best Science Fiction: 2003." I could pick up "Frankenstein" instead and try to get through it. Or I could go back to read "The Stand" again, which has been tempting since I saw the mini-series again recently. But I can't do all three at the same time. And once I've done any of them, will I wish I had been outside enjoying the natural world, or pushing myself to get in shape, or talking to my children -- will I wish any of these things when I'm 64? (Yes, another song.)

Oh, sure, I could talk about "consequences" -- because "How" I spend my time certainly relates to the consequences of that "How." But the existential consequence is that I did not spend the time doing something else.

"Carpe Diem" is not just a motivational tool. It is an exhortation to realize that a mortal only has Now. Make a conscious choice to use your time, because you only get one chance. It isn't "gusto" you have to grab, necessarily. But there is something out there to be seized today. Take a moment. Think about what that "something" is, for you. Then Seize it!