~WEST NILE VIRUS
~A SKIT
~A POINTLESS ENTRY
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BRAINWASHED-NESS
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SHOES
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OH, GOODY, I LOVE AMERICA!!!
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THE STUPID CHRONICLES: EPISODE I
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BAD PEOPLE
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MY FUTURE
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POETRY
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IN WHICH SY SPEAKS HER MIND
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GUNS
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THANKSGIVING, DUDE!
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G'BURG DEER
~A BOOK LIST
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THOSE LITTLE WHITE LUMPY BUMPY THINGS ON SOME CEILINGS
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STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE
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THE BIBLE
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MARILYN MANSON
Mon. April 12~
A FEW THOUGHTS ON CANDY CANES
Tues. Dec. 19, 2000
FUN WITH WEST NILE VIRUS
This is a project I've been working on. It is about West Nile Virus! It is longer than my little description of mad cow disease. But it has pictures! Yes. Go see my west nile. https://www.angelfire.com/md/Syspage/wnv/A.html
Sat. Sept. 23, 2000
A SKIT
A skit que my friends and I did. https://www.angelfire.com/md/Syspage/hickskit.html~
Sun. Sept. 3, 2000
A POINTLESS ENTRY
All right, wazaaaah? Have no fear, I have not succumbed to the Budweiser plague. Not consciously, anyway, see, I sort of picked up the symptoms from people who had the disease, er....
Yyyyeah. Well. I spent two of the last weeks of my summer at band camp! It sucked. I play piccolo, now, which should (but doesn't) make me immune to American Pie jokes about, "One time, at band camp, I stuck a flute..." which have flown at me left and right since the movie came out. I would like to say something: Saxaphone players are stupid. Especially the males. Especially the guy who marches the first half of the first song next to me. He is a first-year, and thinks he is a genius. He is not. Contrary to the stereotype about orientals with glasses. And he laughs very heartily. He needs to stop. I would genuinely like to shove a toaster up his nose. A hot toaster. With stubborn frozen Pop Tarts inside. The bottom line is, **** is evil and must die. That is why I am launching the **** Must Suffer campaign soon. ********READERS PLEASE BUILD UP HYPE********
Minutes from the most recent *MS meeting:
#1 The first order of business of the *MS was to get an individual ribbon color. The board's first choice was puce, but that was taken by the Saints for the Advancement of Christians and the Merging of Church and State, so the board voted for poison green with a hairy bug sitting on top.
#2 Second order of business was to decide on on official Meeting and Talking headquarters. Suggestions so far have been the following: The chairman's closet, the ladies' restroom at the supermarket, Alcatraz, and the kitchen wastebasket. The first attempt to decide produced a hung jury.
#3 The chairman suggested a celebrity for *MS's promotion. The top choices were Drew Carey, Jerry Falwell, David Massengill, and Tipper Gore. The Chief of Public and Private Relations found 3 lines busy, and found Tipper Gore's to be a series of automated, button-punching, muzac-playing boredom, so she killed the telephone with a badminton racket and had to lie down for a while.
#4 The final order of business was to give all members a uniform buzz cut. The board's mother had a fit. Consequently, the meeting was adjourned.~
Sun. August 13, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON GRR
All right, I haven't updated this page for 3 months. I just haven't been thinking much, that's all. : ) That doesn't necessarily make me a bad person...
There was a band car wash. I washed awhile, and then went to to the best point, where you get traffic from both directions. I held up my very pretty sign that I made, and it got hot, so I took off my shirt (bathing suit, bathing suit!), only then I got people honking and stuff, which was funny. but more people look at you when it's like that. And when people were just next to me, I would yell, "Are you getting your car washed???" And I yelled at bikers, too. It was fun, and my upper arms got slightly burned.
And on a darker note... my friend depressed me last night by telling me about this girl he once met, then got to know online. They got along quite famously. Her just family came into the area, and they spent the weekend together, and last night they were talking online. And she said she was dating to marry, and since he's a very determined atheist, she said she wouldn't date him. But the depressing part was for him to discover that not only is she a very religious Christian, she is a SUPERBLY Bible-brainwashed Christian. It was simply awful the things she was saying. She was taking everything in the Bible to heart, and choosing not to think at all for herself, especially the part about giving up faith in herself (riiight) and putting it all in Jesus. I should've saved the conversation, but I didn't. But at one point she said that Christians were exempt from societal pressures, and strong pioneers, that sort of thing. It's one of those things that I forget about, because my most religious friends aren't quite that brainwashed. Though a few are creeping that way. Which I provide alternatives to in my so very friendly *cough* wisdom :) And that is my purpose on Earth.
Fri. May 5, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON SHOES
All right.
Once upon a time, I didn't appreciate shoes. In fact, I sometimes disliked them. I took them for granted. "What's so great about shoes?" I thought, "You just step on them." And step on them I did.
I began to note my friends' and classmates' shoes. If I saw someone with more than one pair of shoes, I asked them to explain. Very, very few had good reasons (Marvin Westman with his heel spurs and Judy Fish with her ingrown toenail were the exceptions). I resolved to take action, and to take a stand against these (usually) senseless displays of wasting money. One day I managed to stand on top of the monkey bars on the playground. As I looked down upon my mulch-covered domain, a thrilling feeling arose in me. "Friends, citizens, countrymen, lend me your ears..." And so my orating began. I spoke of the uselessness of shoes, and the futility of trying to outsmart Mother Nature. "The first people on Earth were more active than we are, and they didn't have shoes--- so why should we?" I preached. My audiences stood before me, taking in every word I said. My classmates and teachers were rather awed by me, and a bit wary, as I had developed a somewhat short fuse and would throw a temper tantrum about the evils of footwear from time to time. In my speeches on the playground I spoke also of oppression, using my mother as an example. She always made me wear shoes.
One morning I tried to walk to the bus stop barefoot in protest, but my mother caught me on the landing. She sat me down and forced me to put my sneakers on. "Couldn't I at least wrap my feet in rags?" I pleaded as I had my feet roughly shoved into my shoes, constrained. But my mother stood fast and wouldn't budge an inch. I got mad. I raced to the bus stop, ripped off my shoes, and then everyone else's. "Do not conform, friends! Only together can we win this battle!" I shouted to my slightly bewildered peers. I threw down my lunch box and others did likewise. We ran into the street, forcibly flagging down an approaching Ride-On bus and boarded, flooding the vehicle with our righteous young bodies.
When we arrived at the school, we marched into the main hall, and choas erupted. Kids on either side of the movement attacked. Grown-ups arrived on the scene, trying to subdue our angry little mob. But we fought back, and passionately. For some reason I climbed upon a table; at this point I've forgotten. But I do remember the table lurching, and me falling off. I blacked out.
I awoke in a hospital bed. My mother was sitting near me, reading a magazine. She looked at me, and I smiled a weak smile. She looked at me sympathetically.
"How are you feeling, Sy?"
"I've felt better." I paused and looked at her earnestly. "I'm sorry about what happened." An uncomfortable silence followed. My mother broke it.
"One thing that crosses my mind, Sy."
"What?"
"This is one hell of a way to celebrate your Sweet Sixteen." ~
Thurs. April 27, 2000
OH, GOODY, I LOVE AMERICA!!!
Some people got shot at the national zoo on Monday, now click here and read the article(s), oh I do hope the Washington Post doesn't hunt me down and kill me for borrowing it (them).
Wed. April 12, 2000
THE STUPID CHRONICLES: EPISODE I
According to the National Coalition Against Censorship (NCAC):
In Oberlin, Ohio an over-zealous prosecutor has charged Cynthia Stewart with violating Ohio's obscenity law by taking pictures of her eight year old daughter in the bath for the family album. The maximum sentence on the charges is 16 years. The parents, reported to be attentive and loving, have also been threatened with loss of custody of their daughter. Because the First Amendment protects depictions of "simple nudity" of this sort, we have written to the Ohio Attorney General, Governor and Leiutenant Governor, urging them to take action to insure that the rule of law prevails in Ohio.
I got nekkid baby pictures. How very dirty of my mother. What kind of a parent is she??? I feel so very violated. Gosh darn. D'you think Ohio would get mad if they learned about the snuff film I'm directing in my backyard? Oh, I don't have a backyard; I meant kitchen sink. But still.
I rarely use this phrase, but I truly think that this is a case of "making a mountain of a mole hill." I believe it's better to be safe than sorry, but umm isn't this going a little far? I am assuming that these "attentive and loving" parents are not selling these nude pictures... ooooh, does Jerry Falwell see another side here to 'attentive'? I must give this some thought! Jeeves, get me a brandy!~
Sun. March 26, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON BAD PEOPLE
All right, I have noticed that 99% percent of the time, I end up liking the evil people in movies. Why is this? I have noticed that this carries over into real life. I tend to like aggressive people. Not counting that guy in my English class; he's on steroids. Why is this? Am I really so obsessed with stating my own opinions that I'm desperate to find someone else who does? This troubles me. I've also noticed that these aggressive people in real life tend to have problems. Do I have some strange feeling for people who need help? Maybe. Yes. Shall I become a shrink? Yes. I like this idea. As long as I can double as a 5th grade Science and English teacher. Yes.
My favorite villain:
Victor Kruger, the Kurgan from The Highlander.
This character is super cool because he's extremely old, six foot three, and has long, flowing black tresses. He's a great assassin, and chops people's heads off with a very satisfying *thwack*. I believe the Kurgans were an old race of Russian horse breeders. Clancy Brown, who stars in Earth 2, played the Kurgan.~
Sat. March 25, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON MY FUTURE
I'm going to Disneyworld next week.~
Tues. February 22, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON POETRY
"The size of the deer population is important. The deer in this area have rapidly reproduced and reproduced, so now we have a surplus of venison running around, breeding, eating lots of plants (to support the large population), as well as keeping NIST's lawn well clipped.
Because of the controversy between animal conservationists and people trying to keep the population to a reasonable level, the deer overpopulation problem has not yet been solved. While deer are gentle and pretty to look at, they're taking over the world, and we're letting them! Sort of."
I thought it was pretty good. Not utterly fantabulous, but pretty good. There was just so much computer animation that I eventually couldn't tell what was and what wasn't. But you know, maybe the whole thing was. It may have been a COMPUTER GENERATED Liam Neeson (Jedi-dude Qui-Gon Jinn) we saw. Yep, I bet that was it. Hm. But I guess Ewan McGregor (Jedi-dude young Obi-Wan Kenobe) has to have been real; nothing fake could have hair that cool. Hee.
But let's look ahead 20 years or so, when possibly others besides George Lucas will have taken a crack at bringing the books to life. What then? Actually.... maybe that's not such a bad idea. Then those directors/producers/people (!) will be trying to live up to the past ones... if we leave it up to George Lucas, what do you want to bet that Episode II and III will be incredibly high tech when compared to IV, V, and VI. Yes, that would be interesting--the robots turn into plastic people.
Computer animation is good in small doses. But I foresee too much already. I just hope the designers realize that the original storm troopers have much more potential as PEZ dispensers.~
Sat. April 24
A FEW THOUGHTS ON THE BIBLE
....as well as the way it is interpreted.
Alright, Christianity is popular. It is. Many, many people call themselves Christians. I'll just kind of leave it at that without getting into the subject of people who never really think about religion.
What really prompted me to write anything relating to the Bible was an article in the Washington Post magazine on the 18th. It was about some anti-abortionists and what they do. It talked about Rock for Life (anti-abortion rock program thingie, like the FMF Rock for Choice, only the opposite ;-). It mentioned the "Reverend" Michael Bray, "father of violence", and also Bray's son. Bray's son was 14 when he was asked about the Birmingham clinic bombing. He said, "Yeah. It was great!"
I know that many and most Christians are not like this. And I am very thankful.
But my question is: How can these people call themselves true Christians and BELIEVE it? The references from the Bible they state are usually from the old testament, or from the new testament, taken out of context. HELLLLLOOOOOOO, the old testament talks about how to prepare your goat sacrifice, not to mention that it's a sin to pick up sticks on the Sabbath.
I shall stop here, as I am running out of fuel, and there's potato pierogi(es?) for dinner. I'll just shut up and add a link to the links page.~
Mon. April 19
A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARILYN MANSON
Alright, Marilyn Manson is bad. He is terrible. He is sadistic. He is "the" antichrist. Uh huh? Uh uh. The poor 30 yr old lad may be extremely funked up in the head, but it's not totally his fault. Anyone who listens to Loveline faithfully or even occasionally should know that.
First of all, his grandfather, whose house he went to frequently, was a porno-obsessed freak. While in his little basement hideaway, he would just be whackin' off with a porno mag or something. Ah, yes, and sitting in the middle of his train set. Second of all, his grandmother was interesting too. Besides having married this old fart of a porno king, she was a little kooky in the head. For instance, if little Brian (MM) didn't finish his meatloaf, he'd have to kneel on a broomstick for an hour or two or three, often with unpleasant results. (I gotta look at MM's knees sometime, see whether he's got scars there too) Brian Warner's father wasn't the greatest guy, and his mother, well, she married the dude. And naturally, the family on his mother's side was er, interesting as well.
And now, a summary: The poor baby came from a nasty family, had a BB gun, formed a band o' freaks, and became disgustingly famous.
So next time you shudder at a man with breasts and a body suit, please stop and consider the background.
PS- you learn a lot by reading one chapter of MM's autobio. I don't know the full story, but dangit, when I get 15 extra dollars, I'm gonna buy the frikkin' book. And oh yeah, his neighbor killed his dog.~
Mon. April 12
A FEW THOUGHTS ON CANDY CANES
Alright, don't mean to complain (that's a lie right there), but candy canes are rather quite annoying. They may be easy to hang on a Christmas tree, but other than that, their shape serves no purpose but to annoy the pants offa people. For instance, just a few moments ago, I was trying to enjoy a cherry candy cane, but I could not, due to the fact that the plastic at one end was scratchin' up my face something terrible. I have learned to eat the candy cane hook first, but still, the problem, though less annoying, still comes up! What to do, what to do. So I figured out a solution to this dreadful dilemma. It involves a hammer and a spirit of fun, as well as a sprit of justice. And now, the plan:
A) take the wrapper off the candy cane, minding that you don't get your fingers sticky.
B) lay the unwrapped candy cane on a hard, quite durable surface, one that is not likely to break easily.
C) lift the hammer above your head using two hands.
D) bring the hammer down in a violent manner upon the unwrapped candy cane. Repeat this process until the candy cane is in little brightly colored bits.
E) laugh maniacally (preferably near a younger sibling).
So, you see, this method rids one of the pain of the plastic wrapper and at the same time, it reduces the chance of teeth rotting, and bad aftertastes. If I did not still live with my mother, I would be able to do this much more often.~
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