To kick off this long due entry, I shall paste for you a portion of an email. Dan was inspired to share with me a portion of a William Carlos Williams piece (see previous entry :), and I decided to be obnoxious! Fun for the whole family! The bits with triangle brackets are him. Hope you enjoy:
>I'm going to shift literary here: > >--through metaphor to reconcile >the people and the stones. >Compose. (No ideas >but in things) Invent! >Saxifrage is my flower that splits >the rocks. > > - William Carlos Williams, "A Sort of Song" > >(I had to look up saxifrage; it's a low-dwelling plant >that grows in crevices and up through rock and so >forth. Sounds like something I spend my mornings >weeding.) I'm going to take a Pants in the Freezer approach: "A Sort of Biological Function" --through breath to deliver the oxygen and the life Inhale. (No hemoglobin but in cells) Exhale! Th lungs are the flowers that split the windpipe.
My comrade Ben here at C.O.W. has two radio shows! One of them is on Tuesdays from 2-4am, and Yin and I are often stupid enough to be up that late.
Once I was a guest on Ben's radio show, and I read my extremities poem, along with one called "Pants In the Freezer".
It was last night
When I put my pants
Into the freezer
For the night.
There they sat
Cool and dry
Like the meat and vegetables
That did accompany them
I was dismayed
When, this morning
I took them out and donned them
And Mom still called them hot pants.
Last night, I wrote some poems on AIM and sent them to Ben, suggesting that he read them on the air. He declined to read this particularly good one:
Asparagus in summer
Yeah, so, our school's production of Oklahoma! has been shown five times, and we're done. This may mean that I can stop living at school (8 months and I'd probably have to start paying rent). Next year I will be attending the College of Wooster (aka "Bagpipe Land") in Wooster, Ohio. My senioritis has kicked in fully.
Know what we did in biology last week? We learned how to operate a sphegmomomometer (erm, uh, the thing the nurse wraps around your arm and puffs up to take your blood pressure), and the stethoscope to go with it. My body presented two problems: 1) it turns out that my arm is too narrow for the standard adult size sphmegmolometer. It sort of fit when pumped up. 2) We tried two stethoscopes, but my pulse was nowhere to be found.
I have come to the conclusion that I am dead.~
I have, so far, been accepted to Hiram, Allegheny, College of Wooster, Cornell, and Beloit. This leaves only St. Mary's College of MD. : ) Beloit is the first one that wasn't sort of a given (the others had SAT scores lower than mine, and/or I had multiple fabulous interviews with them), so that's good. Now all I need is a financial statement from Wooster and Beloit, which are the two I'd like to go to the most. But this means that now I get to go and visit Cornell in Iowa and Beloit in Wisconsin.
Hello! Long time no enter. One would think that a lack of entries would mean that I have a life, but I don't. I do however, have pre-carpal tunnel, as well as band or vocal rehearsals at least 3 days a week. I also have the complete Monty Python's Flying Circus collection on DVD. Thanks, dad! Now don't buy any more. : )
My knee hurts. I think I tore something small in it while a while ago being a Banana Bandit. But it feels better today because I am not continually walking on it, and the consequential swelling in my lower right leg has gone down. Yesterday night, after a day of walking around at school with a tight elastic bandage, my leg became swollen, a tourniquet effect, I think. I noticed because when I took off my right sock, the top of the sock left marks, and there weren't any on my other ankle... I looked and realized my ankle, foot, leg, and toes were all bigger on one side. It was a little scary.
Two weeks ago, my friend Kate, who is enrolled in the Leadership class, was commissioned to write the screenplay for a small skit for Friday Morning Cougar TV. It was an infomercial telling kids to clean up after themselves during open lunch, because otherwise we will have to sit in the cafeteria in 4 different lunch periods, taking away our opportunities to be with all of our friends, have club meetings, take tests, and to litter the hallways. And be with all our friends.
Today was Jason's first "Music Club" meeting. It was meant to be a discussion group, for the most part, discussing music-related issues. It was very disorganized. Jason has qualms with being a leader. I asked him whether I could take control of it, and he, being desperate, let me. I made everyone sit down and shut up, and, "I propose that we use an Object of Speakingness! It will be this butterfly paper clip!" the people actually waited their turn to speak. I'm wondering how long this will last.
I'm hoping to be voted to the female position/title of "Marches to Own Drum," which will go in the yearbook. And I have an extra incentive: Katy thinks she's going to win, and she has a VERY good chance, because she dresses very... uniquely. I knew this in the first place. But we talked, and she said she expected to win (this was ok). She said, "You should win it." I said, "I should!" and she said, "... But you won't." I didn't like that. So, out of spite, I'm asking some extra people. : )
I think I am now the official band janitor. A coupla weeks ago, I cleaned and swept the instrument room, which was nasty. I cleaned up an old, sticky puddle of coffee/jello/stuff-no-one-remembers-what-is with math homework stuck in it, as well as the sink, and I keep it up. I went through the lost & found today. I found some canned food. And a sweatshirt I left on the band bus. And a summer reading book I just recently paid the library for...
I also put car air fresheners in my and Justine's lockers. Flowery fresh.
My decent acquaintance Mike (little brother of Joanna, and friend of my friend Geoff, who is Megan's little brother--small social world, eh?), at my friend Mark's joke suggestion, set fire to a metal bathroom trashcan using Walter's lighter. Someone ratted on them, and they will probably all be expelled. I'm a little sad, but especially for Mark, since he's very sweet, and more of a follower than a leader...
Check out old Incubus if you like fast, groovy music.
Slacker Sy has gotten back online. I check my email about once every two weeks. This summer has been so very busy, what with summer school and now day band camp at school! This year, I'm not a section leader (I didn't try out), but I'm more involved with band activities (boooring :). I'm also not playing flute or pic this year (yes, yes, ONE TIME, AT BAND CAMP...); I'm playing mellophone, which looks like a big trumpet and sounds rather like a french horn. In theory, I've been playing it for 3 months, but in actuality, that's how long I've had one in my possession. Anyway, to make a long story short, this is my first brass endeavour, and it's going terribly. I can't play worth a poop, and after about 5 minutes I have a funky-looking circular indent on my lips. However, no one's complained yet (me being the big exception to that rule). I told out director that I was really having trouble hitting anything in the 2nd octave, and didn't yet have the muscles to play effectively. He told me I was being too hard on myself. When I asked whether there were any alternatives, his face took on a pained expression and he tentatively suggested I play the bass guitar part on a synthesizer. I'll tell you one thing: puppy dog face have little to no effect on me. But Mr. H looking troubled or disappointed stabs me right in the heart for some reason. I looked over the bass music, went back and sort squeaked, "I guess I'll stay on mellophone."
We began marching the field show drill yesterday. It's very fast and very demanding. My pulse got abnormally fast, which I think is a bad thing.
Right now I have a headache. It may of may not be related to the fact that I scarfed down two of my mother's delicious fajitas. Email me, and I'll send you one.
Odd, pointless, time-wasting, cool site: www.jotto.com.
My college list has been narrowed down to about 26. I'm about to kick Clark U (good school, especially for psych) off the list because its campus is so damned ugly.
You've got to be
This is the first time for about 3 months that I have paid any attention to thots.html! I have been in summer school, taking my 12th grade math. My senior year (which starts in 3 weeks), I will have extra science, which should be much fun. I went to New England for a week and a half right after school got out. I saw one of my best guy buddies for 3 full days, among other people. Fun. I saw Clerks for the first time, and yet again was unimpressed by Kevin Smith's work. However, Jason Lee is one sexy papa, and he made Mallrats and Dogma worthwhile films. And... Sy has to get offline so's her mom can call her sister. Ciao!~
Filler text was needed for a very stupid Computer Applications project. I came up with this poem. It is tragic, but with an unexpected twist in the end!
Mein Kampf
My life was but a farce
I wanted to be part of the farce
And here I am now,
I never knew what I had until I got it.
Sy has sunk so low as to write a mere blog!
I woke up this morning and got pissed soon afterwards (pissed as in ticked, not drunk. In this case, at least. ; ) It turns out that my mother had decided to give Steve at L&L a call last week. She had decided that I was interested in working there, and that I would surely give him a call and set up an interview date. Surely. So now I am burdened with the task of calling Steve to tell him how uninterested I am in having a job at an instrument repair shop. It's simply too dark for my tastes. I think I'll go apply at one of the nearby plant nurseries. They get more customers, it's a more mindless job, and it's near my school (I'm planning on taking a course during summer school. I know I shall regret it, but for the moment, it's a great plan). Grr.
I just had an odd conversation with a total stranger online (an' they don't get much stranger than him, giggle snort). He got the wrong idea immediately, and pursued an idea. Idea: "This person who has just IMed me is a goth! A goth-wannabe, at that! A pretender! Oh, how crude!" Hey, wanna see?
Greetings from computer class! My, is first period stimulating. Or rather: My, is first period stimulating? Actually, I suppose Computer Applications is a nice class to have first period, as it requires little thought. The work is dull and redundant. We learn nothing, nothing, I tell you!
It's been a loooong time since I last did any sort of updating to my page! Lemme just say it's been a stressful year (busy, busy, busy <<< and if you get that, you read strange things).
Cool!!!
from the files of 10th grade English
The Patient
Julia stared at her food. Her food stared back at her with its eye. She pushed her plate away.
When Julia awoke, the first thing she noticed was the smell. The second thing she noticed was the abundance of white. "Am I in the hospital?" she wondered aloud. A man in a doctor's outfit turned around and smiled at her. "I see you're awake," he said. "You've been out for a good fifteen hours. Your family is anxious to see you." Julia sank miserably into the hospital mattress as the three-eyed doctor left the room. In about a minute, he had returned with another male, and two females. "Oh no," she whispered inaudibly. These ternoculars could not be her family. They all looked worried, she could tell. She wrung her hands, feeling more frightened every second. She looked at her hands, and absently noticed an eye had sprouted on the back of each. She settled back until it finally registered. She looked at her hands again, and the eyes were there. She screamed and began struggling. The doctor began shouting something. As she writhed, she saw for the first time that she was strapped in. She struggled harder and saw a woman in a white dress rush up to her with a needle. She felt a small pinch, and then fell into a stiff, dreamless sleep.
Julia woke up with a start. She glanced at her bedside alarm clock. It was 3:30 am. She groaned and rolled onto her stomach. She suddenly remembered her dream, and all the eyes. She fought back a shiver. Her stomach made an odd noise, and Julia felt slightly sick. She had eaten a little too much of that carrot purée the night before. She yawned and went back to sleep.
This is a project I've been working on. It is about West Nile Virus! It is longer than my little description of mad cow disease. But it has pictures! Yes. Go see my west nile. https://www.angelfire.com/md/Syspage/wnv/A.html
A skit que my friends and I did. https://www.angelfire.com/md/Syspage/hickskit.html~
All right, wazaaaah? Have no fear, I have not succumbed to the Budweiser plague. Not consciously, anyway, see, I sort of picked up the symptoms from people who had the disease, er....
All right, I haven't updated this page for 3 months. I just haven't been thinking much, that's all. : ) That doesn't necessarily make me a bad person...
There was a band car wash. I washed awhile, and then went to to the best point, where you get traffic from both directions. I held up my very pretty sign that I made, and it got hot, so I took off my shirt (bathing suit, bathing suit!), only then I got people honking and stuff, which was funny. but more people look at you when it's like that. And when people were just next to me, I would yell, "Are you getting your car washed???" And I yelled at bikers, too. It was fun, and my upper arms got slightly burned.
And on a darker note... my friend depressed me last night by telling me about this girl he once met, then got to know online. They got along quite famously. Her just family came into the area, and they spent the weekend together, and last night they were talking online. And she said she was dating to marry, and since he's a very determined atheist, she said she wouldn't date him. But the depressing part was for him to discover that not only is she a very religious Christian, she is a SUPERBLY Bible-brainwashed Christian. It was simply awful the things she was saying. She was taking everything in the Bible to heart, and choosing not to think at all for herself, especially the part about giving up faith in herself (riiight) and putting it all in Jesus. I should've saved the conversation, but I didn't. But at one point she said that Christians were exempt from societal pressures, and strong pioneers, that sort of thing. It's one of those things that I forget about, because my most religious friends aren't quite that brainwashed. Though a few are creeping that way. Which I provide alternatives to in my so very friendly *cough* wisdom :) And that is my purpose on Earth.
All right.
Once upon a time, I didn't appreciate shoes. In fact, I sometimes disliked them. I took them for granted. "What's so great about shoes?" I thought, "You just step on them." And step on them I did.
I began to note my friends' and classmates' shoes. If I saw someone with more than one pair of shoes, I asked them to explain. Very, very few had good reasons (Marvin Westman with his heel spurs and Judy Fish with her ingrown toenail were the exceptions). I resolved to take action, and to take a stand against these (usually) senseless displays of wasting money. One day I managed to stand on top of the monkey bars on the playground. As I looked down upon my mulch-covered domain, a thrilling feeling arose in me. "Friends, citizens, countrymen, lend me your ears..." And so my orating began. I spoke of the uselessness of shoes, and the futility of trying to outsmart Mother Nature. "The first people on Earth were more active than we are, and they didn't have shoes--- so why should we?" I preached. My audiences stood before me, taking in every word I said. My classmates and teachers were rather awed by me, and a bit wary, as I had developed a somewhat short fuse and would throw a temper tantrum about the evils of footwear from time to time. In my speeches on the playground I spoke also of oppression, using my mother as an example. She always made me wear shoes.
One morning I tried to walk to the bus stop barefoot in protest, but my mother caught me on the landing. She sat me down and forced me to put my sneakers on. "Couldn't I at least wrap my feet in rags?" I pleaded as I had my feet roughly shoved into my shoes, constrained. But my mother stood fast and wouldn't budge an inch. I got mad. I raced to the bus stop, ripped off my shoes, and then everyone else's. "Do not conform, friends! Only together can we win this battle!" I shouted to my slightly bewildered peers. I threw down my lunch box and others did likewise. We ran into the street, forcibly flagging down an approaching Ride-On bus and boarded, flooding the vehicle with our righteous young bodies.
When we arrived at the school, we marched into the main hall, and choas erupted. Kids on either side of the movement attacked. Grown-ups arrived on the scene, trying to subdue our angry little mob. But we fought back, and passionately. For some reason I climbed upon a table; at this point I've forgotten. But I do remember the table lurching, and me falling off. I blacked out.
I awoke in a hospital bed. My mother was sitting near me, reading a magazine. She looked at me, and I smiled a weak smile. She looked at me sympathetically.
Some people got shot at the national zoo on Monday, now click here and read the article(s), oh I do hope the Washington Post doesn't hunt me down and kill me for borrowing it (them).
According to the National Coalition Against Censorship (NCAC):
I got nekkid baby pictures. How very dirty of my mother. What kind of a parent is she??? I feel so very violated. Gosh darn. D'you think Ohio would get mad if they learned about the snuff film I'm directing in my backyard? Oh, I don't have a backyard; I meant kitchen sink. But still.
All right, I have noticed that 99% percent of the time, I end up liking the evil people in movies. Why is this? I have noticed that this carries over into real life. I tend to like aggressive people. Not counting that guy in my English class; he's on steroids. Why is this? Am I really so obsessed with stating my own opinions that I'm desperate to find someone else who does? This troubles me. I've also noticed that these aggressive people in real life tend to have problems. Do I have some strange feeling for people who need help? Maybe. Yes. Shall I become a shrink? Yes. I like this idea. As long as I can double as a 5th grade Science and English teacher. Yes.
My favorite villain:
I'm going to Disneyworld next week.~
I thought it was pretty good. Not utterly fantabulous, but pretty good. There was just so much computer animation that I eventually couldn't tell what was and what wasn't. But you know, maybe the whole thing was. It may have been a COMPUTER GENERATED Liam Neeson (Jedi-dude Qui-Gon Jinn) we saw. Yep, I bet that was it. Hm. But I guess Ewan McGregor (Jedi-dude young Obi-Wan Kenobe) has to have been real; nothing fake could have hair that cool. Hee.
But let's look ahead 20 years or so, when possibly others besides George Lucas will have taken a crack at bringing the books to life. What then? Actually.... maybe that's not such a bad idea. Then those directors/producers/people (!) will be trying to live up to the past ones... if we leave it up to George Lucas, what do you want to bet that Episode II and III will be incredibly high tech when compared to IV, V, and VI. Yes, that would be interesting--the robots turn into plastic people.
Computer animation is good in small doses. But I foresee too much already. I just hope the designers realize that the original storm troopers have much more potential as PEZ dispensers.~
What really prompted me to write anything relating to the Bible was an article in the Washington Post magazine on the 18th. It was about some anti-abortionists and what they do. It talked about Rock for Life (anti-abortion rock program thingie, like the FMF Rock for Choice, only the opposite ;-). It mentioned the "Reverend" Michael Bray, "father of violence", and also Bray's son. Bray's son was 14 when he was asked about the Birmingham clinic bombing. He said, "Yeah. It was great!"
I know that many and most Christians are not like this. And I am very thankful.
I shall stop here, as I am running out of fuel, and there's potato pierogi(es?) for dinner. I'll just shut up and add a link to the links page.~
First of all, his grandfather, whose house he went to frequently, was a porno-obsessed freak. While in his little basement hideaway, he would just be whackin' off with a porno mag or something. Ah, yes, and sitting in the middle of his train set. Second of all, his grandmother was interesting too. Besides having married this old fart of a porno king, she was a little kooky in the head. For instance, if little Brian (MM) didn't finish his meatloaf, he'd have to kneel on a broomstick for an hour or two or three, often with unpleasant results. (I gotta look at MM's knees sometime, see whether he's got scars there too) Brian Warner's father wasn't the greatest guy, and his mother, well, she married the dude. And naturally, the family on his mother's side was er, interesting as well.
And now, a summary: The poor baby came from a nasty family, had a BB gun, formed a band o' freaks, and became disgustingly famous.
So next time you shudder at a man with breasts and a body suit, please stop and consider the background.
A) take the wrapper off the candy cane, minding that you don't get your fingers sticky.
So, you see, this method rids one of the pain of the plastic wrapper and at the same time, it reduces the chance of teeth rotting, and bad aftertastes. If I did not still live with my mother, I would be able to do this much more often.~ back to main page...it's safer there
Is like Joe Strummer
That guy from The Clash
With the terrible rash
Asparagus in fall
Is not bad at all
But it's out of season
Just like Liam Neeson
Asparagus in winter
Is like a fibreglass splinter
It's long and it's sharp
And fiesty like carp
Asparagus in spring
Is a beautiful thing
But I still don't like it
'Cause it tastes like crap
~
Sun, April 21, 2002
OH DEAR
Mon, March 4, 2002
COLLEGES!
I'd like to share the beginning of the cool and personal acceptance letter I received from Beloit:
"Dear [Sy],
"Congratulations! It gives me great pleasure to offer you a place in the Class of 2006 at Beloit College. The creativity you show in all of your expressions, whether in leading the fight against shoes or for Martian colonies, is quite impressive. This ability to articulate your vision, whether structured or abstract, etc, etc...."
"*piggie snort* Articulate!" -- George Costanza~
Sun, Feb 10, 2002
OLD TEXT FILES-SPLIT PERSONALITIES
In case you were wondering, I have applied to 6 colleges: Allegheny C, Beloit C, C of Wooster, Cornell C, Hiram C, and St. Mary's C of MD. I visited Hiram, Wooster, and Allegheny. I had the most FABULOUS time at Allegheny because I sort of fell into a great host with friends EXACTLY like mine. I really hated the college, though; it's swarming with preps. Hiram is VERY little, which I love. Wooster is loaded, but also expensive, so I probably won't be going there. The College of Wooster is lovely, though. Incredibly cool. And has a good music program.
Anyway, while waiting for my mom to get off the phone (in which we learned that my grandmother has a benign brain tumor the size of a walnut), I looked through some old emails, always willing to clean house (clean computer, anyway; the house is an entirely different matter!). I have a lot of things I edited and sent to myself. One of them was a cryptic, context-less message:
Hello. My name is Jenny, Maura, and Christie. I have been a schizophrenic all our lives. I know I need therapy, but I can't afford it! I really hate being 3 different people. When Maura takes me, she goes out on the town and hands out rubber chickens to passing strangers. And that's just the beginning! She also dances on tabletops at restaurants until she gets accosted by rich, fat,old "gentlemen" who seem to have a little more than dinner on their minds. And then she comes home, gets drunk, and conks out. And then Christie wakes up with a hangover....she pukes in the toilet, when she makes it on time. Then when she gets up, she turns on the radio and tries to have conversations with the DJ. Honestly! It's frightening. Then, when he/she doesn't respond, she shouts various four letter words at the radio, and then she throws my good china at it, and stomps on it. I go through this at least once a week! Help me, Robbie, what should I do?
~~~Jenny
I *think* I wrote it. I'm not quite sure. Do you like it?~
Tues. December 6, 2001
O' QUOTABLE DAY
pyrex fish: what should I be setting for my dpi for a pretty printout?
pyrex fish: and I still hate you, by the way...
shoryu: depends what type of output your printer is capable of
pyrex fish: paper, I think....
...pyrex fish: how should I know these things?
shoryu: exactly
shoryu: you are a windoze user
pyrex fish: you are useless
shoryuu: you are living in an enforced stupidity world
shoryu: yet i am so useful
pyrex fish: and you live in a pimp-enforced world
pyrex fish: so there we are.
shoryu: yet i am no pimp
pyrex fish: I know. I was calling you a whore.
Florida's main exports are oranges and geriatrics.~
Sat. November 3, 2001
MY KNEE HURTS
Anyway, I was to be the dancing Banana Queen of the Banana Bandits. I was dressed in all black, with black gloves and black fishnets coming out of my black clam diggers (into yellow chucks!), and I had a gold cape along with the Banana Bandit tall, pointy, yellow hat. I danced crazily, and when people (well, a person) comes around the corner, we throw bananas on the floor, and the person slips. Garbageman (garbed in butterfly tights, a Dunkin Donuts bag hat, a garbage bag with a "G", and wielding a net) comes and beats up the BBs and lectures to the camera. Very funny.
Anyway, there was a problem with the audio, and they had to reshoot it. I, having already sacrificed one anatomy period, was not involved. A girl named Dawn replaced me, and did not understand that it was supposed to be completely stupid and goofy. She tried some "real", wimpy, pathetic, club-style groovy dancing, and apparently it was not funny at all (and she didn't have a gold cape!). The rest of the banana people forgot their bananas, so there were no bananas to slip on. Grr. But on the up side, it was so terrible that they didn't show it.
Confusing conversation:
pyrex fish: help me, I broke apart my insides!
PantherDL: help me, i've got no soul to sell!
pyrex fish: help me, the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself! *runs*
pyrex fish: OH GOD, I'M STILL HERE!
Embalming, in brief: /md2/Syspage/devol/10.html~
Sat. August 25, 2001
FOR THE SAKE Of UPDATING 2
so good to me
You've got to be HILIKUS!~
Sun. August 12, 2001
FOR THE SAKE OF UPDATING
Fri. May 18, 2001
NEW POEM: MY LIFE STORY (ANOTHER ONE)
A farce with no costumes
Well, maybe a few
These costumes tended to be
Of the Mardi Gras sort.
And to be accepted
But alas, it was not to be.
When I failed and was rejected,
I took to the streets of Philadelphia
and devoted my life
To collecting soda cans and feeding
Pigeons
Working for this distinguished
Newspaper,
A revered poet
~Margaret There
Ah, nothing like a refreshing story of self-rejection. It's beautiful. Corroborating witnesses:
Nanni 0gg: and see the seemingly conflicting lines: #1, verse 1; #1, verse 2
Nanni 0gg: it is self-rejection!
Nanni 0gg: oh, brilliant, Sy, brilliant!
Nanni 0gg: sssike
PeddlerOfDeath: hahaha~
Mon. April 9, 2001
SY DOES A BLOG
Nanni 0gg: hi
BenFoldsBurt: hello
Nanni 0gg: how are ya?
BenFoldsBurt: I'm fine, how are you?
Nanni 0gg: lovely,
Nanni 0gg: I was wondering whether I might borrow your soul
BenFoldsBurt: grodie
BenFoldsBurt: stop trying to be something you're not
BenFoldsBurt: why do you want my soul?
Nanni 0gg: just for kicks
Nanni 0gg: literally
BenFoldsBurt: gross
Nanni 0gg: soccer
Nanni 0gg: grodie?
BenFoldsBurt: that too
Nanni 0gg: pardon?
BenFoldsBurt: eww, you're too pretend-morbid to understand happy words
Nanni 0gg: oh, no, it's just my new pick up line
Nanni 0gg: lol
BenFoldsBurt: what? "grodie? pardon?"
BenFoldsBurt: I don't understand
Nanni 0gg: what's a grodie?
BenFoldsBurt: eww, you don't understand
BenFoldsBurt: go back to hot topic
Nanni 0gg: I've never been there
BenFoldsBurt: right
Nanni 0gg: look at my profile... is that morbid?
BenFoldsBurt: sounds to me like you bought your personality there
Nanni 0gg: you're in a goth-hating mood, aren't ya
BenFoldsBurt: I'm just in a hating mood overall :-)
Nanni 0gg: the happy face was a nice touch, there
BenFoldsBurt: so was the misplaced comma
Nanni 0gg: not misplaced, just optional
BenFoldsBurt: not optional, just wrong
Nanni 0gg: and *you* misused "like"
Nanni 0gg: so don't go snapping at me
BenFoldsBurt: but the misuse of like is common
BenFoldsBurt: so it's ok
Nanni 0gg: um, no
BenFoldsBurt: it's built into my vernacular :-)
Nanni 0gg: errgh! cheap prostitute!
Someone please tell me the meaning of this "grodie". Who are they, and why do they want my lunchbox?~
Fri. March 23, 2001
CHEMISTRY & THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO
This may be the first time I’ve actually tried to make this page live up to its title. So, what has been happening in my life lately? Last week I went out with a friend and his friend and his friend. My friend left, so I was left with the friend and his friend. The friend’s friend was very shy. It turned out a few days later that he is a friggin’ loony. I shall see him again.
After a beautiful start to a new semester with saner, better teachers…. well, better anyway… I have begun to sink back into my old rut. Fortunately only partway. I am now actually willing to stay up late to do homework after say, sleeping all day. Last semester, this was not the case.
Last semester, my major problem was chemistry—the teacher. The teacher has seniority points, but no sanity points; she is what One saw below when One flew over the cuckoo’s nest. She tries to administer punishments deemed illegal by the Board of Education, like rote work. When a friend of mine saw what she was doing and pointed this out, her eyes widened dangerously and she smiled. “I’ll see you at lunch,” she said. My poor Julia got a good tongue-lashing. This is what happens when people accidentally prove themselves smarter than a so-called superior.
May I recommend a book? At a former teacher’s suggestion, I read the Count of Monte Cristo. (The cool thing was that I had actually bought it the summer before for 70 cents at a Goodwill because it sounded famous.) Yeah, so, I read it. It is good. You should read it. It’s about a nice man, Dante, who is sent to a prison (the Chateau d’If, I believe) on a small island after some very not cool people make false accusations behind his back. Dante does not know why he has been sent to prison. In any case, he eventually gets escapes, and gets a truckload of money as a result of his friendship with another prisoner. He spends the rest of his life as a creepy, rich man seeking revenge on those who betrayed him.
It’s a very romantic book, as well as very strange. GET IT.
And here I leave you, to go college-surfing. I shall return.~
Wed. March 21, 2001
I DO NOT WORK AT DOLLAR TREE, YOU INFIDELS!
Well, one weekend, I felt inspired to write a rave. It was a wonderful feeling, obviously not one I've had much within the past 6 months or so... in any case, I never finished it. It's sat in my wordprocessor fermenting, and I have decided to call it an unfinished masterpiece. Um, yes, so if you have a good ending, tell me?
Read it!!!
"Excuse me, do you know if you have any blue napkins? All I could find were red and yellow," said a pleasant-voiced woman to my right. I looked up from the cheap cookies I was inspecting, and looked at her in bewilderment. What makes you think I know where the napkins are, o' pleasant-voiced woman? "Um," I ventured. My mother to the rescue. "Oh, she doesn't work here." My body flooded with relief. "Yeah. Happens all the time." I smiled. "You're #6 so far at this store." The woman laughed, slightly pink, and the three of us chatted gaily about how silly she was, but wasn't because it's such a popular misconception that I'm an employee of Dollar Tree. This is fairly new on the Popular Misconceptions about Sy list. Here it is as it stands now:
Popular Misconceptions about Sy
1) She is on drugs.
2) She is a vegetarian.
3) She is Jewish.
4) She can show you where to find buckets; in fact, she LIKES to show you where to fund buckets, especially is you have a thick African accent that she cannot understand.
Now, I actually can understand the cause of that instance; I was sitting on the floor. I suppose anyone sitting on the floor counting our small, multicolored, plastic rocks is just begging to "help" someone. But standing there looking at hair clippies? No! I do not know whether we have any more deodorant! I am not even ‘we'! I am *I*, Sy Lowell and excuse me, for I must hurry to Aisle Six before all the canned asparagus is gone! Sheesh.
P.S - "infidel" -- Don't tell my mommy I used it inappropriately!
Sat. Jan. 6, 2001
KUDZU IN MEDICINE
"Kudzu Vine is a wild plant, that grows in many Asiatic countries. From ancient times to the present days, the root of Kudzu has been commonly used in Far Eastern culture as a food, rich source of starch and as an effective remedy in natural medicine. It helps digestion, reduces blood pressure, treats colds, intestinal ailments, and ALCOHOLISM with all of its resulting health problems. When Kudzu is present in a diet, it also prevents anyone from falling into an alcohol addiction. Starch derived from Kudzu Root contains a high amount of iron, a fair portion of calcium and phosphorus, and a little sodium. Interestingly, it has more calories per gram than honey, but unlike honey,which is quick burning sugar, Kudzu is a long sustaining source of energy in an organism. A recent research made in Medical School of Harvard confirmed that Kudzu reduces craving for alcohol as much as 90%. Daidzin, isoflavone is a compound of Kudzu that causes repression of alcohol consumption. Presently many others Universities work on that issue, like Southern Illinois University Carbondale and University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The extraordinary results of the use of Kudzu Root gives a hope to many who suffer from an alcohol addiction and to their families." http://www.pathcom.com/~bioplus/root.htm
Fri. Dec. 22, 2000
EYE STORY
"I'm not really hungry, Mom."
"But Julia, you love carrot purée!"
"I don't feel very well." As a matter of fact, she didn't.
"I do wish you'd try to eat a little." Julia's mother looked concerned. Julia sighed and looked at her plate. The eye was no longer there.
"All right, I'll eat some."
When Julia finished her dinner she went upstairs and lay on her bed. She felt queer. Why had her dinner been staring at her, and where did the eyeball come from and disappear to? She rubbed her temples. "Maybe I'm just going crazy."
"Julie, are you talking to yourself?" Julia's older sister Alice broke her train of thought. "Mom says you were acting weird and said you didn't want your carrot purée. Either you're going crazy or you're acquiring better taste." Alice came in and sat on Julia's bed.
"I dunno," said Julia, "I just feel odd tonight."
"Well, I guess everyone's entitled to an odd day every once in a while."
Julia stifled a gasp when she noticed the third eye in the middle of Alice's forehead.
"But you do look a little flushed, Julie. Maybe you should take an aspirin and go to bed early. I'll see you later. I have homework." Alice left the room and closed the door behind her. Julia was frightened. Very frightened. Where had that third eye come from? She stared, tense, at the ceiling. The ceiling stared back. Julia shrieked and rolled under the bed, breathing hard. She stayed there for several minutes until she finally got up the nerve to come back up. She looked at the ceiling. The eye was gone. She half stumbled to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, flinging aside several things as she searched for the aspirin bottle. She poured out a handful of pills and took four, and dropped the rest. She stared at the mess of pills on the floor. The pills stared back, lots of little eyes, glinting coldly. Julia grew dizzy, and fainted.
Tues. Dec. 19, 2000
FUN WITH WEST NILE VIRUS
Sat. Sept. 23, 2000
A SKIT
Sun. Sept. 3, 2000
A POINTLESS ENTRY
Yyyyeah. Well. I spent two of the last weeks of my summer at band camp! It sucked. I play piccolo, now, which should (but doesn't) make me immune to American Pie jokes about, "One time, at band camp, I stuck a flute..." which have flown at me left and right since the movie came out. I would like to say something: Saxaphone players are stupid. Especially the males. Especially the guy who marches the first half of the first song next to me. He is a first-year, and thinks he is a genius. He is not. Contrary to the stereotype about orientals with glasses. And he laughs very heartily. He needs to stop. I would genuinely like to shove a toaster up his nose. A hot toaster. With stubborn frozen Pop Tarts inside. The bottom line is, **** is evil and must die. That is why I am launching the **** Must Suffer campaign soon. ********READERS PLEASE BUILD UP HYPE********
Minutes from the most recent *MS meeting:
#1 The first order of business of the *MS was to get an individual ribbon color. The board's first choice was puce, but that was taken by the Saints for the Advancement of Christians and the Merging of Church and State, so the board voted for poison green with a hairy bug sitting on top.
#2 Second order of business was to decide on on official Meeting and Talking headquarters. Suggestions so far have been the following: The chairman's closet, the ladies' restroom at the supermarket, Alcatraz, and the kitchen wastebasket. The first attempt to decide produced a hung jury.
#3 The chairman suggested a celebrity for *MS's promotion. The top choices were Drew Carey, Jerry Falwell, David Massengill, and Tipper Gore. The Chief of Public and Private Relations found 3 lines busy, and found Tipper Gore's to be a series of automated, button-punching, muzac-playing boredom, so she killed the telephone with a badminton racket and had to lie down for a while.
#4 The final order of business was to give all members a uniform buzz cut. The board's mother had a fit. Consequently, the meeting was adjourned.~
Sun. August 13, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON GRR
Fri. May 5, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON SHOES
"How are you feeling, Sy?"
"I've felt better." I paused and looked at her earnestly. "I'm sorry about what happened." An uncomfortable silence followed. My mother broke it.
"One thing that crosses my mind, Sy."
"What?"
"This is one hell of a way to celebrate your Sweet Sixteen." ~
Thurs. April 27, 2000
OH, GOODY, I LOVE AMERICA!!!
Wed. April 12, 2000
THE STUPID CHRONICLES: EPISODE I
In Oberlin, Ohio an over-zealous prosecutor has charged Cynthia Stewart with violating Ohio's obscenity law by taking pictures of her eight year old daughter in the bath for the family album. The maximum sentence on the charges is 16 years. The parents, reported to be attentive and loving, have also been threatened with loss of custody of their daughter. Because the First Amendment protects depictions of "simple nudity" of this sort, we have written to the Ohio Attorney General, Governor and Leiutenant Governor, urging them to take action to insure that the rule of law prevails in Ohio.
I rarely use this phrase, but I truly think that this is a case of "making a mountain of a mole hill." I believe it's better to be safe than sorry, but umm isn't this going a little far? I am assuming that these "attentive and loving" parents are not selling these nude pictures... ooooh, does Jerry Falwell see another side here to 'attentive'? I must give this some thought! Jeeves, get me a brandy!~
Sun. March 26, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON BAD PEOPLE
Victor Kruger, the Kurgan from The Highlander.
This character is super cool because he's extremely old, six foot three, and has long, flowing black tresses. He's a great assassin, and chops people's heads off with a very satisfying *thwack*. I believe the Kurgans were an old race of Russian horse breeders. Clancy Brown, who stars in Earth 2, played the Kurgan.~
Sat. March 25, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON MY FUTURE
Tues. February 22, 2000
A FEW THOUGHTS ON POETRY
The cider mill runs merrily
As the ripe, red apples fall
The frugal farmer chuckles,
As he grinds them, worms and all.~
Sun. February 20, 2000
IN WHICH SY SPEAKS HER MIND
at https://www.angelfire.com/md/Syspage/bse.html
~
Sat. January 22, 2000
FIRST ENTRY OF THE MILLENNIUM, DUDE!
All right, what did we all do few the new year?
I lit candles. And ate lots of noodles. Lots. A couple of friends assisted me. And we tried to get Nikki's mom to visit, but she refused to. I shall think of something more interesting to say some other time. I need chocolate! Oh, I also ate MilleniOs that night.~
Sat. November 27, '99
A FEW THOUGHTS ON GUNS
All right, enough already!!!!
America is the land of opportunity, it is the land that foreigners migrate to in hopes of making more money, it is a powerful nation! But why does our country not always recognize a problem, even if it bites it on the butt? The over-abundance of GUNS, for instance. If there is a God, these school shootings are definitely His/Her way of saying, "You want this, huh, huh?! If not, DO something about it!"
Now, even if you don't interpret them as a sign from God, they're obviously a sign that if we don't nip the problem in the bud (HA! Too late for that), it will get bigger. And bigger. I'm rather surprised that many of the nation's people are still shocked when something like that happens.
It's easier for a kid to get a gun than it is to get a driver's license. Much easier. Allow me to make an analogy: A little kid is playing with his toy. His mommy takes the toy away. The child will not be able to play with that toy anymore, as it is unavailable. You can't play with something you don't have.
Guns are available illegally, yes. But common sense tells people to try to stay as much out of the law's way as possible. It would be pretty stupid not to. The increase in underground marketing would be nothing compared to the decrease in legal sales.
Murder has become too easy.
I recently had an online conversation with a Norwegian girl, and I mentioned to her that a local politician was working on trying to get a ban on handguns. She said, "That's pointless. If people want to murder, they will. They could murder someone with a kitchen knife. What are you gonna do, ban kitchen knives?" Argh. What a devastating blow the United States received when John F. Kennedy was struck down by a flying kitchen knife....yeah right! She was right about the fact that determined people can--and will-find alternatives to guns. But the fact is, guns are very impersonal weapons. Hit & run. Knives are much more personal. Unless you are a skilled knife-thrower, you haven't much choice but to be personal with it. Get up close and actually see what you're doing. Most people don't.
"Thou shalt not kill." Right? Then why do we encourage it? Because the right to bear arms shall not be infringed. Of course. If only our forefathers could see us now. I think they'd have a few things to say. Children, please leave the room.~
Wed. November 24
THANKSGIVING, DUDE!
All right, I believe I shall begin to stop saying alright, as it is wrong, though I thought it was right when I was using it. So I slipped up....
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. So we must give thanks. Thanks for our true friends, thanks for the good little things, thanks for the stomach medicine your mother gave you to take before you eat Aunt Hilda's famous roast turkey. Just out of curiosity, who is going to eat ham on Thanksgiving? Any Jews out there? And what about chicken? -OR- Who's getting a Tofurkey?!?!?!
Happy thanksgiving.~
Wed. September 22
G'BURG DEER
Alright, in science class, we were instructed to write a bit about our feelings on the matter of the nearby overpopulation of deer, and whether we felt it was important. I got a little crazy when writing it. But in any case, I'm home sick today, I feel I should update my page, and I can't think of anything to write, so I shall simply type up what I wrote:
"The size of the deer population is important. The deer in this area have rapidly reproduced and reproduced, so now we have a surplus of venison running around, breeding, eating lots of plants (to support the large population), as well as keeping NIST's lawn well clipped.
Because of the controversy between animal conservationists and people trying to keep the population to a reasonable level, the deer overpopulation problem has not yet been solved. While deer are gentle and pretty to look at, they're taking over the world, and we're letting them! Sort of."
Wow, that looked a lot longer when it was handwritten...~
Sun. September 5
A BOOK LIST
Alright, I haven't been able to think of anything to write, so i'll write down some book recommendations.
Fiction
Black Ice is about Lorene Cary's high school years, as one of the first black students to go to a private prep school on a scholarship type thing when the great majority of the students there were white. Lovely book. It was on the 10th grade reading list. Fiction because it's autobiographicalish (new word....).
This book is a short one (66 pages in the version I have). An old and famous bridge comes apart, and takes the lives of five people. A monk investigates the five people's lives/history and weaves them all together. Lovely book. Extremely worthwhile and interesting. At least that's what I thought.
Tiny people live in a carpet. They go on adventures. There are bad guys and good guys and weird circumstances. There are spears! Check out other Terry Pratchett stuff, like the Discworld series, The Truckers, The Diggers, etc.
The book is better than the movie. I suppose the book is a bit gorier than the movie...yep, it is. :-) And it is very good. A guy builds a park with reconstructed dinosaurs in it... he invites a few people for an early viewing... chaos erupts, as is predicted by the mathematician who visits the island. Treachery, plot, adventure, excitement, big animals... lovely book.
Four foul-mouthed outlaws drive around the desert blowing up bridges and billboards. Very cool. A few love stories. The gang is running away from the cops and a creepy bishop guy.
Non-fiction
An ethnography of an Iraqi village. Mrs. Fernea and her husband go to Iraq to live among the... Iraqis... she writes about the gender customs, class customs, pilgrimage customs... VERY interesting (and lovely :-). Definitely worth reading!~
Tues. July 27
A FEW THOUGHTS ON THOSE LITTLE WHITE LUMPY BUMPY THINGS ON SOME CEILINGS
Alright, have you ever been to someone's house with those lumpy bympy things on the ceiling? Or even lived in a house with those? I would like to complain. Whoever designed those must've had a little too much free time on their hands. Imean, art, yeah, more power to them, just not in MY home. They annoy me.
When I stay in Vermont with my grandmother, if my mother or some other guest is there, I sleep in a nice little loft because there is only one spare room. But her ceilings have lumpy bumpy white thingies on them. So when I'm in the loft, if I bang my head against the ceiling (by accident, most times), I get little white thingies in my hair, on the makeshift bed, and leave little pits in the ceiling. And I was once lying reading, and one fell into my mouth. THEY DON'T TASTE GOOD!!
I can't even put my feet on the ceiling.
So if you're getting your ceiling redone, and you don't want to relive the days of the soddies and underground houses, don't get the little lumpy bumpy thingies on you ceiling. I beg you.~
Sat. June 12
A FEW THOUGHTS ON STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE
Alright, I am one of those few (million) people who did not rush out to see Episode I of Star Wars on its first day. Yes, I am aware of my sin, as a Star Wars fan. Don't believe me? I have a Boba Fett dolly to prove it. And a storm trooper PEZ dispenser.And some other stuff. But anyway...
Sat. April 24
A FEW THOUGHTS ON THE BIBLE
....as well as the way it is interpreted.
Alright, Christianity is popular. It is. Many, many people call themselves Christians. I'll just kind of leave it at that without getting into the subject of people who never really think about religion.
But my question is: How can these people call themselves true Christians and BELIEVE it? The references from the Bible they state are usually from the old testament, or from the new testament, taken out of context. HELLLLLOOOOOOO, the old testament talks about how to prepare your goat sacrifice, not to mention that it's a sin to pick up sticks on the Sabbath.
Mon. April 19
A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARILYN MANSON
Alright, Marilyn Manson is bad. He is terrible. He is sadistic. He is "the" antichrist. Uh huh? Uh uh. The poor 30 yr old lad may be extremely funked up in the head, but it's not totally his fault. Anyone who listens to Loveline faithfully or even occasionally should know that.
PS- you learn a lot by reading one chapter of MM's autobio. I don't know the full story, but dangit, when I get 15 extra dollars, I'm gonna buy the frikkin' book. And oh yeah, his neighbor killed his dog.~
Mon. April 12
A FEW THOUGHTS ON CANDY CANES
Alright, don't mean to complain (that's a lie right there), but candy canes are rather quite annoying. They may be easy to hang on a Christmas tree, but other than that, their shape serves no purpose but to annoy the pants offa people. For instance, just a few moments ago, I was trying to enjoy a cherry candy cane, but I could not, due to the fact that the plastic at one end was scratchin' up my face something terrible. I have learned to eat the candy cane hook first, but still, the problem, though less annoying, still comes up! What to do, what to do. So I figured out a solution to this dreadful dilemma. It involves a hammer and a spirit of fun, as well as a sprit of justice. And now, the plan:
B) lay the unwrapped candy cane on a hard, quite durable surface, one that is not likely to break easily.
C) lift the hammer above your head using two hands.
D) bring the hammer down in a violent manner upon the unwrapped candy cane. Repeat this process until the candy cane is in little brightly colored bits.
E) laugh maniacally (preferably near a younger sibling).
