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Name: Real name unknown, goes by The Emperor of the Lobsters, His Majesty, or Teotl to his intimates.

Signature Quote: "Resistance is futile."

Personal Email address: npbaxter@meer.net

  • Height: 7' 8"

  • Weight: 673 lbs.

  • Appearance: Very tall, very broad and muscular. Wears dark green plate armor, with a broadsword in his right hand and a bright red shield on his left arm. Has no helmet, so his face can be seen. He has a largish nose, dark, almost beady eyes and prominent cheekbones. His hair is dark and kept short.

  • Alternate Appearance: Add a helmet to the above and do all of his armor in glossy black. The shield is now royal blue, and he has long silver hair.

  • Fighting Style: Not much.

  • Button Style: Tekken 3

  • Bio: Born in a small town in the U.S. in the early twenty-first century, he entered the military right out of college. After rising through the ranks, he was in a position to stage a military coup. He quickly consolidated his position as sole dictator of the most powerful nation in the world at the time, mostly by refusing to interfere with the liberties and privileges of the citizens. He streamlined the government, making it more effective without the cost-cutting bumbling of earlier political parties. By pouring money into R&D, he was able to advance America's technology by fifty years in the span of ten. Then, he followed in the footsteps of Alexander and Napoleon. Only, he made it work. By the twenty-second century, he was ruler of the world, and his scientists had cracked the problem of aging.

  • Intro: He wants an FTL drive, so that he can expand humanity beyond the solar system.

  • Theme Songs:

    • Game Theme: The Imperial Anthem (Blue Nothing)

    • Home Stage Theme (1st appearance): Heavy Metal Machine (Smashing Pumpkins)

    • Alternate Home Stage Theme: Land of Confusion (live) (Genesis)

    • Vs. Teki-chan: The Cat Came Back

    • Vs. Replica: Beautiful (Smashing Pumpkins)

    • Vs. Charles: Transverse City (Warren Zevon)

    • Vs. Yuusuke: Dream for Him (CSNY)

    • Vs. Epsilon: Tales of a Scorched Earth (Smashing Pumpkins)

    • Vs. BWA: Bodies (Smashing Pumpkins)

    • Vs. Wyvern Neo: The Wall (Kansas)

  • Stage: The top of the World Trade Center, facing north over the downtown Manhattan skyline. Note that there is only one outstanding difference between the Real World Manhattan and his universe's: a mile+ tower a couple of blocks northwest of the Empire State Building. Its walls are made of blue-tinted mirrored glass, but it tapers to a point at the top, instead of the more modern 'giant glass brick' look. Local aircars and news and attack choppers circle curiously.

    Alternate Stage: His living room, the entire 437th floor of the Imperial Palace, New York City, New York District, North America. The walls are almost entirely window, looking down on the city. The view faces south, and the floor to ceiling view is interrupted only by the bars that his architect insisted on including as bracing. They're unnecessary, as the windows at this level are nearly a foot thick and made of solid crystal. The room is sparsely furnished, with low tables and large, exceedingly comfy-looking chairs and couches scattered about in the center of the room.

  • Weapons: His sword, obviously. Also a handgun.

  • Special Resources:

    • See appendix.

  • Openings:

    • 1st Round: A two-seater attack helicopter lands on one side of the stage. He gets out of the gunner's seat, then pulls out his sword as the chopper lifts out of view.

    • Standard: He trudges on in full armor, then salutes the opponent with his sword and readies himself.

  • Taunts:

    • Squirms around a bit in his armor, trying to reseat it.

  • Finishing Poses:

    • Standard: Calmly puts his sword away.

    • Alternate: Holds his sword over his head, so that the blade is parallel to the ground.

    • Desperation: Makes the three energy balls orbit around him.

    • Flash Finisher: Leans on his sword and rubs his throat.

  • Victory Quotes:

    • "Knowing your place is conductive to a more comfortable life."

    • "Hobbyist."

    • Perfect: "Oy vey..."

    • Desperation: "What makes me so good?"

    • Ultimate: "That... Must... Hurt..."

    • Flash Finisher: "Yeah... Boom, baby. Boom."

  • Character Strategy: Teotl is ridiculously durable, to the point where a move rated at 60% against anybody else ends up doing 40% to him. Flash finishers work, though. His size means than his kicks and command normal both have noticably better range than anybody elses punches and kicks. His sword, on the other hand, gives him slightly less than double proper punch range. On the other hand, inside a small character's punch range, he just misses outside of them. He also does higher damage than even Cyber-Charles, if only barely. This is made up for by the fact that he is slower than Cyber-Charles, by a goodly margin. All but one of his specials/supers require a significant charge time. His combos are, to be frank, lousy. Made so not by a lack of hitstun, but simply because he's too slow to take advantage. The advised strategy is simply to wade in and pound until something gives. He's very popular with less skilled players.

  • Attacks:

    • Command Normals:

      • Punch: instead of swiping with his sword, Teotl punches. That's it. He just tries to knock their face in with his gauntlet(or the pommel of his sword, the animation isn't very clear). Does less damage than a swipe, and has shorter range, but has no minimum range. Replaces the left punch button, since that arm is occupied with his shield.

      • Stab: He jabs with his sword, instead of swinging it. Does less damage than normal, but moves quicker.

    • Throws:

      • Roll with the Punches: jams his sheild under their chin, grabs the back of their head, sumersaults backwards in midair, whipping them around to slam into the ground. He lands on their chest. 11%

    • Specials:

      • Like a Hurricane: looks like a block, only there's a swirling blue energy barrier centered on his shield. The barrier will reflect any (and I do mean any) ranged attack launched at it, stop all close range attacks, and inflict 2% damage to whoever touches it. Very much a defensive move. VERY quick startup and recovery; it's almost as fast as a normal block.

      • Seen Enough: Ummm... It's a charge. He hunkers down, then sprints. If the opponent doesn't get out of the way, he catches them on his shield, then keeps going, eventually squishing them between himself and the wall. Rock and a hard place, huh? 13% damage.

      • Razor Love: He hunkers down and charges for a moment, then slashes with his sword, leaving behind an arc of energy that flies at the opponent. Oh, C'mon, you've all seen this before, you know how it works. 5%

    • Supers:

      • I Can't Slow Down: His speed triples for the next ten seconds. This is due to a wardrug injector built into the armor's chestplate. Has its negative effects, but they don't kick in for several hours.

      • Lightning's Hand: Raises his sword high over his head, and is hit by lightning. His next attack is replaced by a bolt of electricity that strikes the opponent unerringly. 21%

    • Desperation:

      • Pinball Wizard: He manifests a set of three electric blue energy balls which then fly and attack the opponent independently(i.e., they're seekers). These will zip around and attempt to ram the opponent repeatedly, doing 5% damage each time they succeed. They can be destroyed by hitting them with an energy based special or super, but will simply crisp anything physical.

    • Ultimate Attack:

      • The Needle and the Damage Done: Generates a deep blue aura of crackling electricity around his sword, which then fires a blue edged white beam. (think blue Reflex Cannon) 47%

    • Flash Finisher:

      • X.Y.U.: He screams, "AND IN THE EYES OF THE JACKAL, I SAY KAAA-_BOOM_!!" then jams his sword into the ground, Sword in the Stone style. He then leans on the sword and releases all his energy in a single immense explosion that fills the entire screen in a very picturesque nuclear-type detonation.

    • Team Helper:

      • Starts [Seen Enough] at one side of the screen and lumbers across the entire stage.

    • Team Supers:

      • Team Edit: [Lightning's Hand] from the sidelines.

      • [Mirrored Razor]: (teamed with Reader) Reader or TEotL, whoever's offscreen, jumps/teleports in so that they are on both sides of the opponent. TEotl quickly tosses off a [Razor Love], which slashes through the opponent, to be [Spatially Reflected] by the Reader, slashing through the opponent again, only to be bounced back by TEotL's [Like a Hurricane], and so on, the Razor Love growing larger with each pass. Number of slashes by the Razor Love is determined by just how fast the player can mash the buttons, up to 7 times. If it hits the maximum number, the move will finish with the Reader tossing a large fuse bomb at the opponent, connecting at the same time as the Razor Love. THe smoke will then clear to show TEotL and the Reader both over the opponent's body in a 'big game hunter' pose, each resting a foot on the opponent's chest, grinning at the screen. 1s later, there's a flash, and a Alyss floats back onscreen holding a camera and returns to her normal position, TEotL or Reader, whoever's inactive jumping/teleporting out.

  • Glitches:

    • His troops, genlobster and human, are ALWAYS in the background. They follow him around constantly. At any stage, they can be found interacting with the existing background characters. At the Carnival of Despair, they're in the stands, eating popcorn. In Reader's stage, they'll be playing chess, checkers, and backgammon games with the cats. That is, the ones that aren't involved in the volleyball match or philosophy discussion...

  • Motivations:

    • Umm... conquer the universe. Or several, if he can, though he doesn't have a way to travel between them yet. Stay alive for a ridiculously long time. Better the lot of people everywhere, not that he'll ever admit it.

  • How Teotl talks:

    In a word... Ordinary. One of the things which made his conquests easier for people to accept is the fact that, no matter what language he's speaking, he manages to sound like that nice guy that lives down the street...

  • How Teotl acts:

    Reluctant to actually do permanent harm to anyone. He _says_ that that's because it would be wasteful, but... Tends to be very relentless and absolutly ruthless in combat. Expect cheap shots, etc. Anything short of cheating. Tends to try to be at least moderately nice, often going out of his way to help people. What he does for a living and the views he holds are in major conflict... Theoretically. He knows quite well that he's a bit of a hypocrite, but will refute this if pressed on the matter. Even if his empire does expand by means of conquest, people within it tend to live very good lives...

The character "The Emperor of the Lobsters" and all attributes thereof are TM and 2000 to Nathan Baxter.

Yes. Yes, you will.