Lessons I've Learned From

The X-Files

 1. Trust no one (duhh!)
 2. To keep my friends close, but to keep my enemies closer.
 3. Non-alcoholic beverage most peferred - Ice Tea and Root Beer.
 4. Alcoholic beverage most peferred - Vodka w/ concentrated orange juice.
 5. Snack food most peferred - Sunflowerseeds and Tofutti Ice Cream
 6. To stay away from the bathroom as much as you can
 7. Don't meet in person from anyone online, cuz that could mean trouble, as in, the guy might be a fat-sucker or the woman thinks she's a dog that has lypus so she steals men that are already taken, away from women who have red hair...
 8. "Sure. Fine. Whatever."
 9. Beware of killer cats!!
10. Name your favorite dog, Queequeg or Blue.
11. Name your least favorite and the one that you really hate the most female dog, Fowley.
12. You can never be *too* paranoid.
13. The Truth Is Out There (really, it is)
14. Make everyone, even your parents, call you by your last name.
15. Believe the Lie
16. Consider being an FBI agent/medical doctor/ forensic pathologist/psychologist
17. Try to learn how to *not* lose your gun or cellular
18. Always carry flashlights
19. Always carry plastic gloves ("I know how much you like to snap those on")
20. Sleep on the couch (who needs a bed?!)
21. Waterbeds are a pain in the butt anyways...
22. Never go looking for a 1939 ship that dissapeared in the Bermuda Triangle.
23. Never under estamate FoX Mulder
24. Apology is a Policy
25. If you ever get a tattoo, don't get one that looks like Betty Page and has the words "Never Again" underneathe it at a local tattoo shop.
26. Make sure you hold on tight to your cellular when you jump off a bridge onto a fast-moving train.
27. Be *very* carful around mushrooms.
28. Seeing is Believing
29. Make sure you put your video tape that isn't yours back in the bottom drawer with all the other video tapes that aren't yours, before someone else does.
30. All Lies Leads To The Truth.
31. Be *VERY* careful with drinking water, it may have a form of LSD in it, or make you grow 10 years older every minute, or have that creature in "Agua Mala"...
32. Check once in awhile for any scars behind your lower neck, just in case....
33. Really hate cockroaches, BEES, and those green-glowing bugs
34. Try not to step in green goo, cuz it might burn a hole through your favorite shoes.
35. Beware of suburbs that have tons of ridiculous rules!
36. Stay away from bookwriters!
 
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