My Funny Kid
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: Words of Wisdom
Did I ever tell you all how much I enjoy my kid?s sense of humor? I think everyday she says or does something to make me laugh.
She?s studying timing and presentation and such in her Theatrical Arts class and the day before mid-winter break began a week ago Friday, she participated in a ?Joke Off? and was awarded second place for the three jokes she found on the internet and memorized for the event.
It was an informal event, really intended for the kids because they tend to goof off just before the regularly scheduled time off and I didn?t even know about it until today. The reason she got second place was not only because she had memorized the jokes she found (several kids did as well although the assignment didn?t call for it), but also because she attempted to relate the jokes to each other with a couple sentences she had written in between. The following is a transcription of the three jokes she found on the internet and the handwritten notes she put between them.
Hi ? thanks. I?m [Nomi] and I think President Bush is really blond. [She goes directly to the first joke:]
One day, a blond named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help. ?It?s supposed to be a tiger!? Sally cried. ?Honey,? said Dan gently, ?Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box.?
[My kid writes:] But if you?re born blond it?s too late, you can?t even change your hair color and get smarter. [And she launches herself into the next joke:] A brunette goes to the doctor and says, ?Everywhere I touch it hurts.? The doctor asks, ?What do you mean?? So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said ?Ouch!? Then she touched her chest and said, ?Ouch!? Then her stomach, ?Ouch!? The doctor asked, ?You?re really blond, aren?t you?? She replies, ?Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?? The doctor answered, ?Well, your finger is broken.?
[My kid continues:] I think the President Bush was born blond and this is why ?
George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits on of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings, the teacher asks the President if he would lead the discussion of the word ?tragedy.? So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: ?If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.? ?No,? says President Bush, ?that would be a terrible accident.? A little girl raised her hand: ?If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.? ?I?m afraid not,? explains the exalted leader. ?That?s what we would call a great loss.? The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. ?Isn?t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?? Finally, in the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: ?If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens; that would be a tragedy.? ?Fantastic!? exclaims President Bush, ?That?s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?? ?Well,? said the boy, ?because it sure as hell wouldn?t be a great loss and it probably wouldn?t be an accident either.?
My kid concluded with a bow and a smile and nothing further written on her pages. Laugh today and everyday, my friends, and if you want peace on earth, then please pray for a tragedy with me.