Somebody just slap me
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Stray Thoughts
Would someone please tell me what the fuck is my problem and just slap it out of me? I don?t want to do anything. I don?t want to write although it could lead to something good someday. I don?t want to play TSO. I don?t want to work on my beading. I don?t want to read or watch movies. I don?t want to leave the house. I don?t want to talk to anyone, including my sister, and there?s just something wrong with that. I don?t want to eat, but there?s nothing new in that except that I usually eat everything in the house when I don?t want to do anything else. And I know I?m depressed because of the holidays, but shit, come on, enough is enough.
I just feel resentful?still. I?ve felt resentful for a couple years now and someone just needs to slap it out of me or something. And this was the last fucking Christmas I will ever attempt to celebrate. I will never have a nice Christmas because I?m done, I?m not celebrating one more. In the 42 Christmases I?ve survived, I cannot recall a one of them that were nice, not a one of them, although just to be fair I?ll say that there might have been two that could have been nicer than the others. And even the very few Holidays I?ve happened to be in a relationship with someone at the time, there?s been so much stress and stupidity that it wasn?t even worth it.
In fact, I don?t even want to be in another relationship ever again. It?s just too much shit. Even if we survived the ?getting to know each other? phase, I would dump that person in half a heart beat the moment I heard the words ?I love you.? I?d probably slap someone for lying to me before walking out. What?s the point of even going out and meeting someone just to end up alone and resentful in the end anyway?

Whatever, anyway, Happy New Year, I hope things are better for you all. I?ll be sure to let you all know when I snap out of it and come back to my usual bitchiness.