Yesterday, Lo took me and Justin out and took pictures of us. They look ?stunning? Ill try to post some asap. Today we sang for the athletic banquet, and just as we started to sing ?stormy Weather? it started to storm. And downpour. Really downpour. Like flash floods. And There I was, without my cellphone, in my red sparkly dress, in the pouring rain, with fogged up glasses, looking in vain for a red Subaru. I was a damsel in distress, but superman I guess didn?t want to get wet or something because my ass was defiantly outside for a while. But all that matters now is that Im in my comfy pjs snug and warm. On a more serious note, I think I figured out why I come off so ?blunt? and ?promiscuous? and ?weird? when it comes to my relationships. I caught myself thinking today as I watched Justin?s car pull away ? Damn, Im starting to really like him. Maybe we should break up.? and then I thought ? WOA! Wait why do I always think these kinds of things? Why do I feel that if I start to really like, even love, somebody, that they will automatically break my heart?? and then??.Kevin. I compare every guy to Kevin. I think that every realtionship will turn out like that one, and that I will have to endure another painful, heart wrenching, drug induced summer. And that?s not the way to be. I should not be scared to love. Yet, there is still slight doubt in my mind. The inevitably will happen. No one, or hardly anyone, ends up marrying some person they dated in high school, and usually couples might not want to be friends if they break up, so there really is no happy ending. As soon as I start dating someone, I think to myself ? I wonder how this will end? so I try in vain not to get to attached to the person by submerging myself in other aspects of life. But even so, I still may fall. One glance, or smile may do it. But it usually happens when I start to think the guy isn?t interested anymore. All he has to do is glance at some short skirt, or talk about how hot some chick is, and I immediately start liking him so much more ( asshole effect) . I think its because I start to want to be in the center of his attention, not some other chick. But then again I start to think the words of Justin B. ? I don?t go into a relationship thinking of how it will end. I just think how good its gonna be.? And I agree?.but wouldn?t that make me naive? Maybe its because I think too much. As Daniel says , ? Its all Drama Kate, its all drama.? God im tired.