The Cafeteria Rejects
Welcome to the hideout of the most spectacular superheroes the world will ever know: THE CAFETERIA REJECTS!
- Sabrina
The cheery little pyromaniac of the group, with the ability to talk people to death...then talk to dead people! She also is the group's only contact with their leader, Armando, and channels him through people whenever they need his aid or that of his magic codpiece.
- Savannah
The brains of the group...seeing as Sabrina is usually busy trying to kill people...Savannah has the power to remember and quote random things no one has ever heard of, such as The Freddie Stories and the musical porn version of Alice in Wonderland. She is also half of Sabrina, probably the sane half. They are one-Sabrana! She is also the one who usually manages to unearth the Rejects' nemesis fiendish plots.
- Emily
The designated sex object, she uses her ability to look amazingly sexy in knee socks and knickers to confuse her enemies and she also squeaks at amazing and unheard of frequencies. She is David's girlfriend as well, and often times is the last Reject to arrive on the scene due to...well, circumstances beyond her control.
AND THEIR SIDEKICKS:
- David
Emily's boyfriend and Ben Stein clone, he's the stoic one who can set people on fire with his mind and has the ability to sketchify anything you say! He's even managed to make ice cream sketchy!
- and Aaron
who Sabrina usually channels Armando through and is also Emily. He still insists that he's not gay.
THEIR LEADER:
- Armando
The 13th century romance icon with a magic codpiece full of God only knows what. For a full list of items in Armando's codpiece, click here
AND FINALLY, THEIR ENEMIES:
THE BITCH BRIGADE-
- Leah
The amazing horse-faced girl obssessed with making grammar obsolete and boys digging in the dirt with their parents, she has held a grudge over the Rejects after it became apparent that they might actually suceed in life and she'd be left having sex with her teachers and bosses just to keep her place. She is assisted by Alle and Emelie, and has a fetish for boys named Jacob and little children.
- Alle
The only one of the Bitch Brigade to possibly have any talent or personality, Alle was steadily brainwashed into being another one of Leah's little cronies and a clone of Cabin 11.
- Emelie
Leah's little wannabe, the unhealthily-skinny girl who resembles a giraffe and always looks like she has a cold because of her perpeptually pink nose, she hates the Rejects simply because Leah does. -
Jacob/Mini Matthau
The three year old boy Leah's busy screwing over, and...well, the name says it all, doesn't it?
- and Walter Matthau
Leader of an international band of commies and the main villain in numerous Reject adventures. And just because he's dead doesn't mean he's harmless...look at Armando and Sabrina.
Welcome to the wild world of the Cafeteria Rejects: saving the world from all things bitchy with the help of the Flying Toaster Song, Dogma, The Freddie Stories, and Ranma 1/2 since July.
The No-Longer-Secret Documents
Quotes From Interlochen 2000
Theme Songs
Stories (note-unfinished as of yet)