Hey ya'll, it's me (no joke, who else would it be?) anyways, here's a list of quotes i found some time back.  I used to take one of these and use them as quote of the week so if the first few sound familiar that's why.  And you have to appreciate these on the whole, not one at a time.  And besides, they all sound like rejected slogans for those t-shirts u find in catalogs or at Spencer's or Gadzooks! or some where.... anyways, here ya go, Quotes for the Ages....<br><br><hr><br><br>

<P>* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried   

<P>* A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking  

<P>* Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.   

<P>*For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.  

<P>* He who hesitates is probably right.   

<P>* Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.   

<P>* No one is listening until you make a mistake.   

<P>* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.   

<P>* The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.  
<P>
* The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 
<P>
* The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. 
<P>
* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 
<P>
* To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. 
<P>
* Two wrongs are only the beginning. 
<P>
* You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 
<P>
* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
<P>
* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. 
<P>
* The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 
<P>
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 
<P>
* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 
<P>
* Change is inevitable....except from vending machines. 
<P>
* Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things. 
<P>
* A fool and his money are soon partying. 
<P>
* Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation. 
<P>
* Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. 
<P>
* Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it! 
<P>
* If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. 
<P>
* How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.... 
<P>
* Attempt to get a new car for your spouse--it'll be a great trade! 
<P>
* Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route. 
<P>
* I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 
<P>
* Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals." 
<P>
* Death to all fanatics! 
<P>
* Guests who kill talk show hosts--On the last Geraldo. 
<P>
* Chastity is curable, if detected early. 
<P>
* Don't be sexist; broads hate that! 
<P>
* Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 
<P>
* Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. 
<P>
* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 
<P>
* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 
<P>
* Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. 
<P>
* Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back. 
<P>
* Half the people you know are below average. 
<P>
* 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 
<P>
* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 
<P>
* A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 
<P>
* If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.... 
<P>
* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamilar territory.
<P>
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film!
<P>
* Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
<P>
* Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
<P>
* I feel like I'm diagonally parked, in a parallel universe.
<P>
* He's not dead, He's "electroencephalographically challenged ."
<P>
* She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
<P>
* You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
<P>
* I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
<P>
* When shooting a mime, do you need a silencer?
<P>
* Honk if you love peace and quiet
<P>
* Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
<P>
* Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
<P>
* Nothing is fool-proof because fools are so ingenius.
<P>
* Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
<P>
* Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
<P>
* Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth. 
<P>
* A day without sun shine is like, night.
<P>
* Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
<P>
* When in darkness or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout.
<P>
* Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
<P>
* On the other hand, you have different fingers.
<P>
* I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
<P>
* I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere! 
<P>
* Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. 
Isn't that the damnedest time for a guy to get those odds
<P>
* Even if you've been fishing for 3 hours and haven't gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, 
you're still better off than the worm.
<P>
* Sincerity is the key to success. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
<P>
* "No! Do, or do not. There is no -try-." -- Yoda
<P>
* "Oh shut up, you ugly little troll, you are spoiling my concentration!" -- Luke
<P>
* I don't suppose it's going to rain... - Joan of Arc
<P>
* "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry,
 he'll be a mile away - and barefoot."<P>






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<center>| <a href="page2.html">Jokes</a> | 
<a href="page3.html">The Cold Within (poem)</a> | 
<a href="page4.html">Moonlight Ride (poem)</a> | 
<a href="page5.html">Special High Intensity Training</a> | <br>
 | <a href="page6.html">Oxy-morons</a> | 
<a href="page7.html">Death of an Innocent (poem)</a> | 
<a href="page8.html">My OFFSPRING Page</a> | 
<a href="page9.html">Redneck Jokes</a> | 
<br> | <a href="page10.html">Only in the U.S.A.</a> | 
<a href="page11.html">Joke-of-the-week</a> | 
<a href="page12.html">Quote-of-the-Week</a> | 
<a href="page13.html">(-:  Internet Smileys :-)</a> | 
<br> | <a href="page15.html">Public Service Announcement</a> | 
<a href="page16.html">Self-Motivation Page</a> | <a href="page17.html">Blonde Jokes</a> |<br>| <a href="page18.html">Rejected Gadzooks! t-shirt Slogans.</a> | <a href="page19.html">My Dating Advice</a> | <a href="page20.html">Gender Langage Translation</a> |<br>| <a href="annoy.html">Ways to Annoy People</a> |     <br><hr>

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