KAYLA IS HERE WOOT WOOT
Mood:  hug me
Topic: KKK ALL THE WAY
not really, about the topic, we like black guys *drools* anyways HAHAHAHA bye

The beginning of my end
Mood:  hug me
Topic: I'm so incomplete
It hurts so bad, to look into your eyes now. You burn my insides as you swallow my soul without tasting it. I feel the helplessness creep into my fingers. I look at the palms of my hands. I feel ever empty... Why won't you accept me? Am I really as unworthy as I feel? I cry these tears of acid, burning off my face. The face that makes me cry. I am so incomplete. No one knows I'm here, in this void of missunderstanding. No one knows to rescue me, with this fake smile plastered on my face. Alone... what does this mean? Am I supposed to feel the need to be punished, or like every move I make is just another mistake? I want to be held. Another tear escapes my eyes full of hatred towards your lies. Approaching my front, tell it to my face, but as you walk away I know you left your knife in my back. So I'll just let it be, you and life and I. I walk away... forever.

I'm sick and tired of it!!!
Mood:  hug me
Topic: pouring my guts out
I'm so sick and tired of people putting others down. I'm tired of feeling like crap and tired of hurting just because person X wants to feel good about themself. NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IT REALLY HURTS TO BE MADE FUN OF OR PUT DOWN. I feel like a revolving door of insults, it just doesn't stop. I try to be myself, like people say i should... "You fucking freak. You idiot. Why aren't you normal?" I'm so sick of it!! why don't i just throw on some abercrombie jeans, get in the comformist line and shut my mouth. At least then I wouldn't get bitched at for WEARING BLACK!! Just because black isnt part of the rainbow doesnt mean that anyone who wears it is a satanic goth reject that should get everyones hatred in a bottle thrown at them. I want to die so bad just because this is ridiculous... watching 1st graders on the bus call each other dumb names, KNOWING that it hurts, and what am I supposed to do?? back hand the kid??? I think not... but still. Why can't i have money dripping out my ears, then I could buy/afford preppy clothes and just be one of the mindless opinionless drones... bye... ASHLEY

Sexy S's
Mood:  hug me
Topic: *DROOL*
So, does every sexy guy in the world have their name start with an s? Sean, seth, steven, hmm wait a sec... ok so maybe its just three. but its more than none... HAHA I should spell my name Sashley, wow I'm nutzo. I am so hungry but my tummy hurts :( what to do... I went to church this morning, it was alright. I haven't been active in a church since Liberty and since they kicked us out basically its hard to trust anyone churchwise again. I hate when people try to judge me just by how I look, thats so freakin wrong. I mean I look like the type to be a big mean satanic freak but I'M NOT. And I hate people to think that because I'm really nice, and funny if you'll just hang out with me you'll see that. A lot of people just say hey to me in the halls, so I'll say some smart allic comment back just because I love making people laugh. I LOVE IT!! Laughing strengthens your abs and your immune system, so by laughin a lot you could actually live longer. I haven't taken my shower today yet, so my hair is greasy and I don't like it :( but i love the color!!! Well, sean deserves my undivided attention so I'll have to leave you now... bye ASHLEY

EVERYONE LOVES HUGS
Mood:  hug me
Topic: I'm talking to Katelyn!!!
Well, I'm talkin to my homie G K on the phone. And thinkin about Steven... *sighs*drools* anyways I can't get my hopes up or else I know I'll get torn down. He's hot, and cool at the same time! haha how corny. I'm turning into salvador!!! (but K, forget the mex go for Kris!!) Leave me a message in the comments if you read this. So I was thinking last night, I wish I could die.Then I was thinking in second period... BUTTER LOVES PAUL!! and vice versa. so yea. I'm going to have to make this one short because I have nothing else to say. I'll holla at you peeps later. Bye

Katelyn's Birthday was today
Mood:  hug me
Topic: hug me please
Katelyn's 16 today... yay! I need a hug so bad, I just want to sleep (literally) with someone. It's been so long since I've been held, I'm starting to forget what it felt like or why I even miss it. There's a number of guys I would date but I feel they really just wouldn't understand/appreciate me for exactly who I am. A lot of guys are no too concerned with helping an emotional train wreck of a girl try to understand why she can't sleep. I'm telling you all it's the nightmares... but no one listens. As usual. I haven't got one comment on this website and I don't even think anyone has seen it, but it doesn't matter it helps me vent. I think if someone were to see it they might would be a little scared. I'm so freakin' full, I ate two brocoli cheese and chicken lean pockets and two mountain dews... but it was delicious... so yea. Well I guess I'm reaching my limit, I always write too much nonsense on these entries, never anything meaningful just blah blah blah blah... I feel like a Charlie Brown Teacher. ASHLEY

Today, 1 month until I'm 17...
Mood:  hug me
Topic: I'm so incomplete
So there I was... between how I am and how I should be (according to everyone else) And I was trying to figure out which way to go. One way, I gain acceptance, 'friends', parties, and people actually admit that I AM PRETTY. But the other way... the way I am now... I only have a couple friends but I know for sure they would lay their life ON THE LINE for me. (As I would for them also) I don't really like parties unless you mean about 5 people drinking coffee with a live band blaring in your ears while you all pretend you can understand whoever is trying to talk to you. And as for people admitting that I AM PRETTY... so what? They don't see me. Inside or out. They refuse to because they're scared. I'm just to complex for anyone (with a few exceptions). So now I met this guy Joe. Well we haven't met other than online, but I like the guy already. FINALLY someone who believes in music. I swear music is the foundation of the building we know as Earth. Well that and a lot of hot molten rock and lava. Anyways, when I get more scoop on Joe, it'll be here. And when I figure out why exactly a fork has four prongs instead of 5 I'll let you know that too. PAIN

I'M BORED I'M SORRY
Mood:  hug me

lol im crazy and bored

How to make a Ashley

Ingredients: 5 parts mercy 1 part brilliance 5 parts

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add sadness to taste! Do not overindulge!

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