SPORTS, archived and deflated.
World Cup
Referee In Bizarre Conspiracy
By Grey Sports
The Football World Cup has grabbed people’s attention like nothing
else this decade. China is sulking because its Olympics effort is already
forgotten, though they are grateful that they still get a mention, unlike
the thing in the place with the stuff.
South Africa has prided itself on the level of security and safety it has
provided, however no one could anticipate everything.
While riots, terrorism and free flowers have all been neatly capped it has
been revealed that the US/Slovakia game was a mild to moderate security
risk.
It turns out that one of the referees during that match was an unregistered
Mad Scientist who specialises in weaponising sports.
Which referee it is has not been released, all personnel have been detained
for further investigation.
US officials are outraged at discovering this only after the match, claiming
that a number of their citizens could have been killed by a nuclear soccer
ball.
Authorities have tried to downplay this, stating that this particular Mad
Scientist weaponises sports in general, not equipment. At most US citizens
would have been turned into freakish soccer themed mutants.
While the World Cup has not been disrupted and spectators are taking the
threat of becoming hideously deformed freaks based on a sport in their stride,
questions are being asked about the effectiveness of background checks of
game officials.
This particular Mad Scientist is a fringe operator and a low threat, it
is feasible that he could pass most security screening as his activities
have been largely off the grid, aside from one large scale cricket game
played in Mobile, Alabama, which so freaked out residents that it was first
thought to be a hallucinogenic gas attack.
Commentators have pointed to this as the latest in a growing list of concerns
about who is officiating at these matches. Four other referees have questionable
backgrounds. One was a former minion of a James Bond villain, two have ties
to the Weekend IRA and the fourth is a Michael Jackson fan.
Security operators have adamantly denied any responsibility, pointing out
that screening officials is outside their concern.
Organisers of the World Cup have defended their choices, all four were open
and honest about their ties and have shown a genuine dedication to their
duties. The Michael Jackson fan even threatened to red card an entire team
for an impromptu, coordinated Moonwalk on the anniversary of the singer’s
death.
None of this changes the fact that a maniac with a sports fetish has been
running around the games. If he is any good, which does not appear to be
the case however, then any number of seats, equipment, uniforms, individuals
or even teams could be rigged to explode in a shower of sporting paraphernalia.
Reassurances have been thin. Security will be extra vigilant but if an Iron
Man or, God forbid, a Batman scale villain were to attempt mischief then
disaster could follow.
previous sports: World cup to stave off alien invasion.