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Open Call for Aflec Duck
By Entertainment

Once again modern technology has been the undoing of a celebrity.
Gilbert Gottfried, the offence comedian famous for being the first person to tell a 9/11 joke successfully twittered an offensive joke that played upon the crisis in Japan.
While this sort of thing has worked well for the entertainer in the past, it relied heavily on the principle of “crossing the line twice”. In other words, compounding the offence with an additional offence.
The limited number of characters available for use on Twitter meant that Gottfried was unable to cross back over the line, cutting offensive humour down to something simply offensive.
This joke has cost Gottfried his role as the Aflac Duck, infamous corporate logo and mascot for the Aflac insurance company.
Public outrage has been somewhat muted, PETA as usual said something, but they say a lot of things, several relief charities have hit out at the insensitive nature of the joke, and the cast of Jersey Shore said something, but no one took the TV off mute to hear it.
The reaction from Japan has been a swift and unanimous “Help!” A somewhat vague statement when relating to the twittered joke.
Aflac has wasted no time in distancing itself from Gottfried. So severe has the backlash been that the corporation is seriously considering Ben Afleck taking over the role. For this Gilbert Gottfried has apologised profusely.
Thankfully cooler heads have prevailed and the role of the Aflac Duck will be opened to all comers, from established entertainers, celebrities, YouTube artists and even the common person.
While Aflac has stated that someone who already sounds like a duck would have an advantage, their policy is not to discriminate as long as they’re not Martians, who aren’t human and therefore have no soul.
Early rumours were that Lady Gaga would throw her hat into the ring, however these turned out to be based on nothing more than her similarity in appearance to the Aflac Duck.
Vegas odds makers, ever on the pulse of important matters, seem to favour actors who are as annoying as Gottfried, though lack any outstanding social stigma. Hence Jason Alexander and Jerry Seinfeld are in with a shot, not so Michael Richards.
Carrot Topp was though a possible contender, however he just looks too creepy now.
Tom Green is currently thought to be the most realistic favourite, he has the public attention and annoyance factor to easily step into the role. Coupled with his declining career and lapses into sobriety this may be the gig that turns him around.
Serious competition comes in the form of Joan Rivers, despite the fact that no one can remember why she is famous and she has publicly supported Gilbert Gottfried in the face of his apparently poor humour.
Less serious though no to be ignored is the growing online petition for Justin Beiber to take up the Aflac Duck position. Or more accurately be dressed up like a duck and then killed. It is unlikely that Aflac will heed this petition, though depending on the dedication of those behind it this bears watching in the future.

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