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George Lucas to use I-Phone for next Star Wars Movie
By Puns McKenna

Today, George Lucas announced his intent to bring comedy to the I-Phone 4 debacle. He said he’s planning to create a new Star Wars Chapter from his phoney inspiration. I’m betting it will be something like this.

A long time ago in a Silicon Valley somewhere in North America…

I-Phone Wars

Episode IV:
No Hope

It was a time of great technological development.
Rebel cell phones, striking from a Verizon store
infiltrated the valley of silicon and stole the plans
for the new “White” I-Phone 4.

The Talking Droid phone was on its way to the
small outer planet of RIM where Princess Blackberry
was poised to turn the plans over to the Reliance when
its ship was attacked by the evil Lord, Darth Jobs’ ship.

Forced to jettison itself onto the nearby planet, the Droid phone
met up with Luke Gates and Obi-LAN Technobi.
After about a day they were forced off the planet by Obama the Hut
and pursued by Biden Fett they fled across the galaxy.

Obi-LAN Technobi, as we all know dies in a fight with his old pupil Darth Jobs, leaving Luke to carry on in Stead, NV. His long-lived catch phrase that we hear throughout the movie is: “May the apps be with you!”

Sounds to me like ole George has a grand scheme to make a lot of money on the “antennaegate” disaster. I, frankly applaud his efforts at capitalism. It shows me that the American dream isn’t dead. It may be a little twisted at times, but it’s “Not dead yet!”

I wonder what the customers that have purchased their friable-Phones will have to say about this new movie. More to the point, what will the Die-Hard, Star Wars fans have to say about the new movie? Will it be received in much the same way as things like Darth Spud was? Or will it perhaps be received like the greatly acclaimed movies that parody Star Wars? Wait! I think I’ve figured it out!

We’ve got all of these parodies of Star Wars roaming around out there in the Universe. Spaceballs…Red Dwarf…Bugs Bunny and Road Runner’s Movie… and many, many more all have one Big thing in common with Star Wars. They all use the slow crawl of an opening story. Many of them are of course by far hilarious compared with Star Wars, but I think this is George’s opportunity to surpass the industry standards in comedy. This is an awesome opportunity for him to make a spoof of his own work with his own spastic attention to detail, and of course no one will ever get to know whether Han or Greedo shot first.

I wait with baited breath to catch this whale of a tale for myself. However, it doesn’t mean I’m going to go out and snag an I-Phone 4 anytime soon. I’m happy with my Motorola TM.

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