Identity, 'How you are percieved, by yourself and others.' 'Ones individual
self.' Two worthy definitions. Identity, who are you? Who am I? I am but me,
no more, no less, nothing else sums it up as simply as that. For others that
is simply not enough, to know who you are. Do I care? I have been confused
and fascinated by the topic. My profile will show (along with a false name):-
'Lets see, im simply me, lifes just another adventure to work through and
strive for, not to understand, but more to confuse and entertain. I climb
trees, and i finger paint, id rather rewrite the whole script than follow
someone elses lines, i have many secrets, and i have many passions. You should
be who you are and not who others think you are, individuality is good, be
free, and explore the infinite possiblities, everything is worth doing once, so
do it.'
Is that me? Do I know who I am? No, I don't. Do I care? Not really, I'm
more interested in here, now, than anything else. *smiles* Boring you, I see.
I will go over those insignificant details for you then. I'm usually known as
Mel (short for Melanie), but have been known to be 'Gemma Matchenson', 'Analise
McCloud', or 'Catherine Jane Duvall'. Each worthy of a personality other than
my own. I use them as masks, to hide behind, mainly from a what-was stalker
that I effectivly got rid of. I'm but a mere 17 (no matter what I've told
you.), I shouldn't say that 17 is mere, it is only mere in comparrison to those
older than me, and superior to those not. Its an age, a number, not an (I want
to say identity, but won't, that defeats the purpose of everything previous.)
Those that know me in person (other than family - I try to behave around
family) will see me as strange, full of energy, and to have a tendency to do
crasy things. Those that are closer to me - closer than those other people.
Meaning my circle and a few others, will know more, personal things, as well as
a side that I don't show too often. In person, I am nothing like I am on here.
Not actually liking this, to put me (or parts of me) in words is to
probably be wrong. I have to many personas to be able to conform and put in a
box, label it and stack on a shelf along with the rest of me. I can't do that.
Lets do the other things instead. My favourite colour is Sky Blue, the
colour of an early morning summer sky, and Emerald Green, the deep, contrasting
life green. Don't worry, I am insane *grins* Such as life. My favs tend to
change purudy frequently.
I go to school, yes (whoop-dee-doo); I'm seventh form (for those that are in
America/Canada/Elsewhere where the school system is cut into grades, that makes
me about grade 12 or 13? In Australia that would be a Year 13.) I go to an ALL
Girls School, which does prove to be a problem occasionally, as of late, not
particually :) That could be better; I don't praise myself in getting good
grades, I try for the sake of not getting yelled at by parents, and so I can
attempt to be half as good as my closest peers (which, may I add, one is the
student BOT Rep!! Another is Head Girl and the rest are simply scholars. Not that I mean to brag or anything *grins*); I, on the other hand, am beginning to
think that school is actually not that helpful, what do they teach us? To fill
in the blanks? To be part of the majourity? They don't teach us to grow as
individuals. As people. But hey, whats that when I can recite the Quadratic
Formula?
I am at this moment in Auckland, New Zealand (a million miles from you,
I'm sure, well, perhaps not a million, a thousand smiles maybe?) At least once
a week I get shown a gorgeous view of Rangitoto and North Head and the Harbour,
and Princess Wharf. Good for me, it reminds me of how beautiful everything is,
and then a bus will drive past, spouting large clouds of exhaust in my face.
Oh yes, Aucklands simply devine. There are days thou, where I will sit atop a
mountain (usually One Tree Hill, (considering its location is usually close to
where I happen to be) - in a tree above the crater, below the summit), with
Auckland spread out at my feet. I feel free there, watching the sun go down,
having lambs bleat underneath me . . . Tis when crasy thoughts reside in my
head. Its a time of wondering. Exteremely interesting.
Moving on into the unknown; Theres not alot you would want to know about
me, however, I have created a what-was site, and have moved it, so it should be
beneath here somewhere, in bits.
My humaine Goal
Things to Love with a Passion
Intensly Disliking . . .
More Words of Wisdom
Alright, I think I may have this sorted, I've been thinking about this for a
while now (Oh, tis a couple of days after all that ay up there ^ ), so, right,
after an all night conversation with my friend (you know the type, the after-
dinner-till-three-in-the-morning conversations); and what came out of it, well,
for starters I realised that me saying "I am me." in answer to "Who are you?"
and I'm not understanding that, the more I think about it, the more it bugs me,
thinking too much, I feel. But, moving on, I realised that I was getting
personality and indentity mixed up. Personality, which I defined as traits seen
by yourself and people who come in contact with you, so, to revoke the 'How you
are perceived' and apply it here; Indentity, still stays where it is, but I'm
haiving trouble definig who I am exactly, I am me, yes, but still, thats not
being enough, so, what makes me me? Who do I want to be? What am I made up
off? As it goes on and on and on, answers to be pondered on a rainy day perhaps
(that is, if I don't get to them before hand; I blame those people at ccfas;
Look what they did, tis an interesting concept thou, incredibly interesting.
So, in conclusion, I have yet to find myself.