From the MSN.com gossip column....
For those out there who find Jessica Simpson's dad just a tad creepy (and hey, we're right there with ya), you might want to avoid the new issue of GQ. Seems Joe Simpson isn't shy about talking about his daughter's tremendous, er, talents.
"Jessica never tries to be sexy," the former Baptist minister-turned-manager-turned-puppetmaster tells the magazine of his little girl. "She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!"
Um, raise your hand if your squicky meter just hit the red? Yeah, us too.
Daddy Simpson also reveals that he decided not to let his lip-synching daughter Ashlee explore her Sapphic side in the upcoming flick "Wannabe."
"I changed it," explains Simpson of the original storyline. "It doesn't work for her to be gay the first thing out. She said, 'But it's cool, it's edgy, it's different,' and of course the filmmakers were like, 'It's cool for a woman to be a lesbian,' and I'm like, 'That's true, but not her first role.'"
See, Joe has big plans for his dark-haired daughter that go far beyond slinking into a pair of short-shorts to essay the role of Daisy Duke, as Mrs. Lachey is doing.
"She's going to be a huge movie star," he tells the mag of Ashlee. "She's like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth. When we're done, she'll play it all."
Ha. No, really. HA! When Ashlee Simpson is as big a star as Cameron Diaz I'll...I'll...nothing I can think of tops the hilarity of Mr. Simpson's assertion. It's just utterly ridiculous. Moderately more talented than Jessica, but still. Just another pop-tart.
And the dad? Ew. Mega-ew. Triple Espresso Ew.