blah
who had 14 beers tonight? menot u.. em.. tat's right. i am home and i am bored cuz nobody is here to alk to me because theya re all still at amattys house drinking mroe liquire. i need to go to bed and so i amg oing toa. the bugs bit e a lot tonight nd i have lots of bites on my back and on my legs and arms. i a very sad about that that's all. i can tyep better when i close my eys. this is me with my ewyes opens i am ano t good at typings cuz fo the beers but when i close my eyes i am much better.. maybe it is the light that affects me.. or is it effects me? i am not sure. well goodnight then.

Missed One Little Thing
Ross missed one little piece of information... who took less shots in mini golf? The answer to that one is ME.... and not even by like one or two... by FOUR! and yeah, the putter was broken, but that only made things harder for me.. it was my handicap, a new putter was used for each hole --- no standard putter?? what! talk about pure putting skill. Well, if you wanna know about pure putting skill, ask me since I obviously am better than ross. and as far as cheating goes.. that was Jenny (who Ross TIED).. wait, what? Ross TIED jenny?? Sorry ross, that information was going to remain between you and I, but I have bene left with no other options. sad. so sad ross... if i were you i'd be rationalizing my loss too.. poor ross.

Claire is a dirty liar
Saying I lost is like saying Claire won, it's a flat out lie. Now I know most of us know Claire as a dirty liar but I would imagine that a much smaller number of us know Claire as a cheater. I had the misfortune of experiencing just how devout a follower of Satan she is. First she tampered with my ball. Everyone knows I use the fucken orange ball. Claire did too, but still decided to fuck it up for me. Then she broke her putter. Apparently during some tribal profession of love for her dark god of evil she lashed out and smashed the putter into two. That's an automatic disqualification. Several other incidents include her moving her ball for better position and not playing it where it lies (perhaps one of the most important rules of the game). The simple truth is it doesn't matter how much crack Claire smokes or how many orphans she slays in homage to beelzebub she will still not have a chance in hell (despite home field advantage) of taking me in mini golf. Sorry Claire

Nothing To Do.
You know what sucks? That there's nothing to do. Absolutely nothing to do. We played mini golf earlier and I won... Ross lost... just in case you guys forgot to read that part, i'll say it again, just so it sinks in, and all.. I won... Ross lost. That's all I've got for tonight.

u know what sucks
you know what sucks? when people blame you for their shit just because you're there. i'm having a bad day so i'm going to rip your head off just because i'm bored. so and so is mad at me and since she's not here i'm just going to yell at you anwyay. i'm too immature to deal with my own shit and the reality of what is actually going on so i'm just going to blame you for how other people treat me like shit. that sucks.

3rd entry
i did not mean to offend anyone who is actually retarded in that last entry.. except for myself. i guess for you it'll be the next entry, since you'll read this one before you have read the one where i may or may not have seemed to be making fun of people who were actually mentally retarded (by the way, i wasn't). that's fucked up too.. i guess... who knows. i'm gonna email the creator of these blogs and get to the bottom of this disaster. goodnight.

my 2nd drunken entry
this is my 2nd enry tongiht.. why? because i am drunk and things i think seem to be really smart -- u don't have to tell me they aren't, i'll read this tomorrow and realize my stupidity. why is this thing called a "blob?" who made that up? i'd like to see these people who invent these things that are supposed to be appealing to teenagers.. i mean... these old middle aged men with suits and gray hair sit there at their desks with their toyota camrys outside and they say to themselves.. teenages are basically retarded -- we'll just give everything retarded names and they'll go for it. sadly, it worked, and therefore i am basically calling myself retarded. i like to think of myself as a little bit quicker than that though, i mean, at least i am noting how i am giving in to allowing these assholes to basically shit on our intelligence... or maybe that just amkes me more retarded... i see that i'm doing something stupid and i just keep doing it.. i have no respect for myself, or my repuation, nto that there's much to uphold there. my mom just asked me how many beers i had tonight.. i told her 7 -- she wasn't kidding.. i was though... little does she know i had 99 proof -- 7 shots of that, which is more like 16 beers? i'm not really sure how many beers.. i pulled that out of my ass. i'm good at that... SPEAKING OF ASSES -- this woman called in love line tonight and said her boyfriend was really sensative and had good taste in clothing and art and was obsessed with having anal sex -- she asked if he could be gay.. it seemed pretty obvious to me, and i was drunk. maybe they should start making retarded things that appeal to women who are wondering if their nice boyfriend with excellent style and taste who love doing people up the ass are gay -- maye they should make retarded things that appeal to people like her... she'd probably go for it too. arby's makes commercials that appeal to retarded people --- that fucking mit can die. why is the mit talking? is it funny? no. sad, but true.. i still eat at arby's -- i'm clinically retarded..

being drunk and gambling
tonight i'm a little drunk, so i may say some things in the morning that i regret... god knows i have in the past. so the funny thing is, we make a vow never to go to the casino drunk. how well do you think that vow was followed? not very well damnit. u know why? because we are all addicted gamblers. so we figure we might as well just go to the casino while we drink (this is a drunken thought now, not a sober, intelligent one)... i mean, if wer'e drinking.. illegally (since me and my bangs are not yet 21), we might as well go gamble away our cash too..why not? i'll fucking tell you why not --- you'll think it's funny to make $100 bets and double on 13's and u know what? it is funny.. right up until you sober up on your way home and think to yourself... if i would have just saved $10 i could get some kfc right now. and that's right.. i said $10... i know most of you could probably eat at kfc for less than that, maybe even $10 would get you 3 or 4 meals, but for me, that'd be a diet... a little mid-meal snack, why? cuz i'm fat. do u have any more questions for me? i'm listenng to sunny came home -- what a good song. hopefully tomorrow i will wake up and not emember losing all that money... maybe that will happen... probably not -- pf changs tomorrow anybody? thats a resteraunt where i like to eat... too bad i don't have any god damn money to buy food. final lesson.. don't drink nd gamble -- drink.. and... gamble.... just not togthe r-- or whatever, do it together, it makes for an interesting experience

what the hell
do you ever find yourself completely amazed and horrified at the intelligence level of others? i mean, they'll say something and you'll just be shocked... DID YOU JUST SAY THAT? did you just laugh at that horrible joke? it's so obvious the kid just basically waited for the canned laughter, his cue to laugh at something that he is told is funny. are you still here? still talking? why? just stop, while you're still ahead. scratch that, you're not ahead, you're a moron, but stop talking so that we all can stop listening to you laugh. key for an intelligent joke -- wait for the first time you make a joke and the moron to your left doesn't laugh... that's when you know it's a good joke.

sidebar.
isn't it possible to be a cynical optomist? that's what i am. i'm just optomistic about how well i will handle getting fucked over by someone who gained their position of authority over me with something other than deserving qualities.

--claire--