u know what sucks
you know what sucks? when people blame you for their shit just because you're there. i'm having a bad day so i'm going to rip your head off just because i'm bored. so and so is mad at me and since she's not here i'm just going to yell at you anwyay. i'm too immature to deal with my own shit and the reality of what is actually going on so i'm just going to blame you for how other people treat me like shit. that sucks.

3rd entry
i did not mean to offend anyone who is actually retarded in that last entry.. except for myself. i guess for you it'll be the next entry, since you'll read this one before you have read the one where i may or may not have seemed to be making fun of people who were actually mentally retarded (by the way, i wasn't). that's fucked up too.. i guess... who knows. i'm gonna email the creator of these blogs and get to the bottom of this disaster. goodnight.

my 2nd drunken entry
this is my 2nd enry tongiht.. why? because i am drunk and things i think seem to be really smart -- u don't have to tell me they aren't, i'll read this tomorrow and realize my stupidity. why is this thing called a "blob?" who made that up? i'd like to see these people who invent these things that are supposed to be appealing to teenagers.. i mean... these old middle aged men with suits and gray hair sit there at their desks with their toyota camrys outside and they say to themselves.. teenages are basically retarded -- we'll just give everything retarded names and they'll go for it. sadly, it worked, and therefore i am basically calling myself retarded. i like to think of myself as a little bit quicker than that though, i mean, at least i am noting how i am giving in to allowing these assholes to basically shit on our intelligence... or maybe that just amkes me more retarded... i see that i'm doing something stupid and i just keep doing it.. i have no respect for myself, or my repuation, nto that there's much to uphold there. my mom just asked me how many beers i had tonight.. i told her 7 -- she wasn't kidding.. i was though... little does she know i had 99 proof -- 7 shots of that, which is more like 16 beers? i'm not really sure how many beers.. i pulled that out of my ass. i'm good at that... SPEAKING OF ASSES -- this woman called in love line tonight and said her boyfriend was really sensative and had good taste in clothing and art and was obsessed with having anal sex -- she asked if he could be gay.. it seemed pretty obvious to me, and i was drunk. maybe they should start making retarded things that appeal to women who are wondering if their nice boyfriend with excellent style and taste who love doing people up the ass are gay -- maye they should make retarded things that appeal to people like her... she'd probably go for it too. arby's makes commercials that appeal to retarded people --- that fucking mit can die. why is the mit talking? is it funny? no. sad, but true.. i still eat at arby's -- i'm clinically retarded..

being drunk and gambling
tonight i'm a little drunk, so i may say some things in the morning that i regret... god knows i have in the past. so the funny thing is, we make a vow never to go to the casino drunk. how well do you think that vow was followed? not very well damnit. u know why? because we are all addicted gamblers. so we figure we might as well just go to the casino while we drink (this is a drunken thought now, not a sober, intelligent one)... i mean, if wer'e drinking.. illegally (since me and my bangs are not yet 21), we might as well go gamble away our cash too..why not? i'll fucking tell you why not --- you'll think it's funny to make $100 bets and double on 13's and u know what? it is funny.. right up until you sober up on your way home and think to yourself... if i would have just saved $10 i could get some kfc right now. and that's right.. i said $10... i know most of you could probably eat at kfc for less than that, maybe even $10 would get you 3 or 4 meals, but for me, that'd be a diet... a little mid-meal snack, why? cuz i'm fat. do u have any more questions for me? i'm listenng to sunny came home -- what a good song. hopefully tomorrow i will wake up and not emember losing all that money... maybe that will happen... probably not -- pf changs tomorrow anybody? thats a resteraunt where i like to eat... too bad i don't have any god damn money to buy food. final lesson.. don't drink nd gamble -- drink.. and... gamble.... just not togthe r-- or whatever, do it together, it makes for an interesting experience

what the hell
do you ever find yourself completely amazed and horrified at the intelligence level of others? i mean, they'll say something and you'll just be shocked... DID YOU JUST SAY THAT? did you just laugh at that horrible joke? it's so obvious the kid just basically waited for the canned laughter, his cue to laugh at something that he is told is funny. are you still here? still talking? why? just stop, while you're still ahead. scratch that, you're not ahead, you're a moron, but stop talking so that we all can stop listening to you laugh. key for an intelligent joke -- wait for the first time you make a joke and the moron to your left doesn't laugh... that's when you know it's a good joke.

sidebar.
isn't it possible to be a cynical optomist? that's what i am. i'm just optomistic about how well i will handle getting fucked over by someone who gained their position of authority over me with something other than deserving qualities.

--claire--

Ditto.
-Claire.

Message for all Optimists
Blow me
-Ross

Words of Advice from this Cynic
1. If somebody says something nice to you, they obviously want something from you. Don't give it to them.
2. If you're fat, don't wear little clothes, it doesn't make things better.
3. If you aren't funny, don't make jokes, you just look like a dumbass.
4. Seriously, just don't talk.
5. Nobody wants you to beat them, nor will anyone really want to see you succeed. So don't tell people about your successes or your plans to succeed, it'll only cause you to have no friends, or shattered dreams, or both.
6. Get a fucking life.

--claire--

Hey Bangs
Our new fake IDs aren't bad. Right up until the guy looks at me and says "hey bangs, get the hell out of here.. nobody over the age of 7 has bangs.. you're DEFINITELY not 21." That means this ID will probably get absolutely no use and Ross will have to do all my shopping for me.