Claiming Drugs
If you tell people you're on drugs, they look at you funny, which makes you feel like you're funny, even if you're not. Plus, it's okay to say stupid things because hey, it's not you who is saying the stupid things, it's the drugs. That's why I prefer to always claim to be on drugs. It's like "claiming sanctuary" for morons.. just "claim drugs." Then, no matter what you say or do, it's not you acting like a dumbass, it's the drugs.