Whining...
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Kanye West - Gold digger
Topic: Bad News
This is the third week without proper food. It's starting to get to you, but at least you'll loose weight ;)
I don't think I've ever had this small an income. What annoys me the most is that I can't afford to have friends any longer. Everytime you're supposed to meet you go for coffee, a drink, shopping or something else that costs money. And even getting to where they are costs money.
I'm so fed up with myself right now, always having to be the downer, "No, I can't. I don't have any money" and feeling like I'm begging my friends for money just by saying that...Sigh...

Poor people?
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Tv
I was watching that Morgan Spurlock-show "30 days", and it was about them, he and his girlfriend, living on minimum wage for a month. It didn't look that hard though. In a day they both had jobs, and a place to live (in New York). Maybe I should move there, here I have neither...*sigh* If it wasn't for the fact that they had to pay about 1000$ for a hospital visit and some band-aid, I would!

New dec.
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Books
I read a book by Helen Fielding, "Olivia Joules...", which is a bit like the Janet Evanovich-books. To me it's a more different detective story than Fadeout anyway. Maybe I should write about that instead, the new detective novel, for my stupid essay. I dunno know. What do you think?

...
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Bad News
...and I've also had a tooth ache all day. And it's definitely the tooth this time. Sigh.

In a second...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Ethan Hawke - I'm nuthin'
Topic: Bad News
It's so strange how two weeks of fun and happiness can be erased in just a single second. Suddenly I've lost my trust, my confidence, myself basically. I'm once again blah. I'm Nothing. An insignificant blob in the universe...or at least one hell of a drama queen ;)
I'll admit, I'm tired, hungry and not feeling well, but still...

They want me to take some stupid class. For a year! I might as well move there when I'm still at it. What am I going to do there, by myself?? It's against everything they've said to me so far (for years). Suddenly there's not a worry in the world, like there never was. They're such hypocrits! And forget about studying, that's apperently impossible now. What if I'd gotten the help when I asked for it the first time, then it wouldn't have been so impossible. Thanks for nothing guys!

I need a holiday. Maybe I should call in sick for a while...

Happy...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Du gamla, du fria.
Topic: Good News
...birthday Sweden!! ;)

Stupid
Mood:  smelly
Topic: Everyday life
This is stupid. I'm so longing for some fish, some nice plaice or whatever it's called, salmon or even some smoked mackerel. I think I need some Omega 3 - acids. I do eat some sea food, and it feels stupid to just eat those. Either I should go back to eating just veggies (which would probably be the best and easiest choice) or try to start eating fish.

I'm popular!
Mood:  special
Topic: Everyday life
They rang me again, from some other place and wanted me to work for them. Too bad I can't afford to do it though. I'd have really liked it.

Oprah...again...
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Tv
Once again, I ended up watching Oprah this morning. This time they were discussing people who are sex addicts. This made me think of some of my friends who seem to be relationship addicts. Which, basically, is the same thing. They can't be alone, and need someone else to be there and confirm them. Some of them have been victims of different events and some have not. They might end up in relationships without even knowing it. And when it does occur they just go along with it, even if they might not know or even care for the guy. Then they move in together, even if they might know that it might not work out in the end.
And this is intelligent, beautiful girls that we're talking about. She might have a lot of admirers, but the only ones that she seems to care for is the and the ones she can't have.

So, what do you do? There's really nothing you can do unless she realizes it herself.

Let them know?
Mood:  sad
Topic: Books
I read a (swedish) book called "Anhorig", which is about substance abuse, and in particular alcohol. The book's quite difficult to relate to. I don't really know anyone with those kinds of problems.
But then I got to thinking about a friend of mine. Even though the situation is quite different. I feel like I want him to stop. Yesterday. But he doesn't care. And our other friends doesn't seem to care either. They just say that nothing/no one can make him stop. I know they're probably right, but still... I feel like there should be something... I don't know...