Simpsons Quotes

 

~"Put down that hor'derve, wolfy! It's time for the main course!" (Grounds-keeper Willy, The Simpsons)

~"There ain't never been an animal born that can outrun a greased Scotsman!" (Grounds-keeper Willy, The Simpsons)

~"Class, it's time for sex education. Eziekel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parent's wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls." (Mrs Krabappel, The Simpsons)

~"[Bleeding Gums Murphy] taught me that music is a fire in your belly that comes out of your mouth so you better stick an instrument in front of it." (Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons)

~"Hey, settle down boys and girls, or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend, Corporal Punishment, again." (Krusty the Clown, The Simpsons)

~"Release the Hounds." (Mr Burns, The Simpsons)

~"How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy!" (Millhouse, the Simpsons)

~"I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time.... Oh what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant." (Mr Burns, The Simpsons)

~"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." (Homer Simpson, The Simpsons)

~"Granted, you can never learn the position and momentum of an electron simultaneously. However, conceivably you can learn one of these things, which is more than we'll ever know about women." (Fraser McClure)

~"Hey! This is not a lending library so if you are not going to buy that, then put it down or I will blow your heads off." (Apu, The Simpsons)

~"I will not encourage others to fly." (Bart Simpson, The Simpsons)

~"I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty." (Bart Simpson, The Simpsons)

~"Silly customer. You can not hurt a Twinkie." (Apu, the Simpsons)

~"[His name is] Simpson, Sir. He's one of your chair moisteners from sector G." (Smithers, The Simpsons)

~"I'm just impressed you could write so legibly on your own butt." (Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons)

~"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever. Thy will will be done. Munch munch munch." (Homer Simpson, The Simpsons)