About Us
----
Issue #3:
Anomalies,
by Richard S. Freeland
----
Ghost Therapy,
by Gerald Sheagren
----
Angel Envy,
by Ian Donnell Arbuckle
----
Thromboles,
by Dr Terry Dartnall
----
Trapped in a
Barrel,
by Steven Holmes
----
Earth,
by Dena Graham
----
The Tale of the
Brilliant Thief,
by Ally Wren
----
Beat Burt,
by Mike Boone
----
Issue #2:
Remembering
Krempla,
by H. David Blalock
----
Cthulu Calling
Collect,
by Gregory Story
----
At the Trial
of
the Loathsome Slime,
by William Meikle
----
Just Another Day at
Roswell,
by Randy Tanner
----
A Million Ducks
Quacking,
by Marc Crofton
----
Editorials
----
Issue #1:
July 1, 2003
by H. David Blalock
----
by Janice Clark
----
by Daniel Devine
----
by Beth Long
----
by Daniel L. Needles
----
by Susan Lange
----
Editorials
Beat Burt
by Mike Boone
FADE IN:
EXT. BAIT SHOP - DAY
JOE and his uncle's mother's sister-in-law, BEVEN, exit the deserted bait shop, long since closed for selling illegal wigglers out of season.
JOE
There must have been a hundred and fifty of them at the rally.
BEVEN
From Austria?
JOE
Three quarters of the Hosehead clan don't speak English, you know.
BEVEN
How'd you talk?
JOE
Actually we just played darts and pet the elephant.
BEVEN
Cool.
JOE reaches into his fireman's jacket and produces a color photograph.
JOE
Some said it was the biggest bunch of hoseheads they'd ever seen.
BEVEN
Big crowd.
JOE
You couldn't find a place to park. Where were you yesterday?
BEVEN
A republican political convention.
JOE reacts as if BEVEN had just said she spent the day with mutant vegetables from the planet Soxenge-5.
JOE
Sounds subversive.
BEVEN
Indeed.
JOE
What did you do with these... repulicans?
BEVEN
We threw darts at the donkey.
JOE
But how'd you communicate? What would you do if you went up to the bar and wanted a beer?
BEVEN
Beer? At a political rally?
JOE
Right. Lot of people?
BEVEN
Parkade was full.
JOE
Can politicians drive?
BEVEN
I hope so. If not they wasted a lot of money on chauffeurs.
They pause under a tree. JOE casually picks up a goat raisin someone had dropped. He begins to roll it around in his hand.
BEVEN (Cont'd)
I think we were both at the same event.
JOE looks at his hand.
JOE
Shit.
Before JOE can utter anything else he's impaled by a giant piece of broccoli and falls out of shot.
CLOSE UP: BEVEN.
Realizing she's been found out, her face becomes ashen and her stomach tightens. There's no hope for escape this time.
CUT TO:
REVERSE ANGLE: STREET
BEVEN'S POV.
A company of superhuman vegetables from the planet Soxenge-5 are pointing their deadly celery lasers at her.
BEVEN
Oh, my God! There's enough of them to make a Caesar salad!
FADE TO BLACK
The End
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