Daft Dictionary

Acrobat: someone who'll do you a good turn

Afford: a type of car

Arrest: something you need when you're tired

Baker: someone who works because he kneads the dough

Bird cage: home tweet home

Blockhead: someone who gets a splinter in his finger when he scratches behind his ears

Cannibal: someone who is fed up with people

Cartoon: music for drivers

Climate: what you do with a ladder

Denial: a river in Egypt

Dog show: oodles of poodles

Dragon: what a long speech does

Echo: a sound return

Explain: eggs with no trimmings

Extinct: a dead skunk

Factory: an encyclopedia

Fence: something that runs around the yard without moving

Flying saucer: a dish that is out of this world

Garden hose: socks worn by gardeners

Ghostwriter: a spooksman

Goblet: a baby turkey

Hail: hard-boiled rain

Hatchet: what a bird does when it sits on an egg

Hogwash: a pig's laundry

Infantry: an army of babies

Information: how planes fly at an air show

Intense: a camping holiday

Jitterbug: a nervous insect

Judge: a person for whom everyday is a trying day

Juggernaut: an empty jug

Kangaroo: the largest known grasshopper

Knapsack: sleeping bag

Knob: something to adore

Lift operator: someone whose life is full of ups and downs

Long distance: the best way to talk to a monster

Lyrebird: a bird that never tells the truth

Maritime: a wedding day

Meatball: a dance in a butcher's shop

Milk shake: a cow dancing

Nectar: dirt under your collar

Net: holes tied together with string

Nightingale: a very windy evening

Octopus: an eight-sided cat

Ouch: the noise that porcupines make when they kiss

Parachutist: a drop out

Paradox: two doctors

Pillow: headquarters

Quack: a doctor who treats sick ducks

Robin: a bird that steals

Rose: what a boatman does

Royalty: what a queen drinks

Sculptor: a chip off the old block

Skindiver: a mosquito

Stairs: things that go up an down but never move

Tears: glum drops

Tomorrow: something that's always coming but never arrives

Towel: something that gets wetter the more it dries

Unaware: what you put on first and take off last

Undertaker: a man with a grave manner

Volcano: a mountain with hiccups

Water: thirst aid

Weed: a blooming nuisance

Wind: fast air

X-ray: bellyvision

Yak: the most talkative animal on earth

Yellow: what you do when you hurt yourself

Zebra: a horse behind bars

Zinc: where you put your dirty zaucepans

Zip code: secret message for people who make pants